MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
oh I also once ate an entire set of fuzzy felts
Was that just to watch him die MrNutt?
Once had Afternoon Tea with Eric Morcombe.
Been on telly
Was it on that show, Argumental?
Well mines all true, whats the point in lying on a forum to people you don't know?
And my best shag place was in Bergen Court House on a leather couch with a lawyer(female) I picked up in a bar. That was a pretty wild night.
The above is purely to willy wave and show off. 😆
I once blew my own trumpet...
.
.
.
.
.
No, seriously... I can play the trumpet.
This is making me feel a bit miserable now, actually. Bugger all, I have done.. 🙁
I drove across the USA in a car borrowed off an Eskimo I met in a bar
Been down an Olympic Bobsleigh track, not as the pilot/driver sadly
Seen a man roger a jack russell, (the dog, not the former england wicket keeper).
I have driven all over the USA tho. In various cars, none borrowed from native Americans however.
Ulitimately these are unimpressive and garner no man points, but in the typical stw demiographic at least, seem a bit unlikely:
I once recieved a pay cheque from the Gendarmerie (de France).
I have been friends with a nun.
I treated someone's gammy leg wound with maggots.
tombstoned off a 50ft ledge at Gogarth
176mph on a public road in a borrowed porsche
flew a helicopter
found a shark within 10 yards of me as my finger bled 50 yards from shore
had 2 books published in 3 languages
flew to Oz for 3 days
danced drunk on a bar table with greg lemond
had breakfast with dolf lundgren
scarred by a spider bite in Oz
much more but none of it matters, it's over/done, much more ahead, big world out there........
Ulitimately these are unimpressive and garner no man point
Some of them are - playing to big crowds for one.
I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate
I always thought it was sea breams. Do they glitter in the dark?
Err,
Drank a pint in less than 3 seconds.
Been for a few beers with Dan Walsh. And Nick Nolte.
Been on stage with the Ramones (very, very briefly :D).
Sang at 'Band on the Wall' in Manchester.
Been kissed by a chart topping female recording artist.
Had a very embarrasing accident on a train.
Rode a motorbike round Oulton Park in front of a race day crowd.
Had a record I sang on played on the radio.
Rode a motorbike through a bus shelter.
Been accused of murdering a hamster - called Dave.
Proposed to someone I'd never spoken to before.
Won first prize in a flower arranging competition.
Injured myself in a cheese rolling competition.
Lots of repetition but they were good times for me too.
Flown aerobatics whilst in control of an aircraft.
Shot a variety of rifles, shot guns and semi-automatic military weapons
Led 5 day white water canoe expeditions in the Canadian Rockies
Led 5 day hiking expeditions in the Canadian Rockies
Seen the Aurora Borealis whilst sat on a remote island in in the North Saskatchewan River
Crewed a Tall Ship from Southampton to Belgium and around the Channel Islands where we moored to watch an offshore F1 powerboat race from the boat
Had an impromptu massed snowball fight with children on the streets of Moscow around the time of the coup d'état in '91.
Been qualified as an instructor of dinghy sailing, wind surfing, orienteering, canoeing, kayaking, and a lifeguard at the same time.
And yes, I'm in IT management!
Had to get a court order to get released from a psychiatric ward..
Had paintings exhibited alongside a prominant Bristolian graffiti artist..
Got invited to dance onstage as a Bezlike character for a headline act at Reading festival... and obliged..
Survived a two hundred and fifty foot cliff plunge..
Accidentally knocked myself unconscious
Taken a huge leader fall while climbing (took a while for the shakes to go...)
Broken my wrist and got the metalwork to prove it
Fired a huge gun (in the USA)
Visited the Grand Canyon
Lost money in Las Vegas
Landed a 77 tonne passenger jet
Ridden an (ex) racehorse flat out
Found a fabulous woman
House-shared with a Sir
Had a song dedicated to me on stage at Glastonbury by a gorgeous woman
Got a dog
Lived in a tent
Dated a kinky girl called Dominique
Dived in the Seychelles
Partied hard in various countries
lots more to go I hope...
Performed naked at Glastonbury (apart from a coat of bodypaint) and drew the 2nd biggest crowd of the weekend.
Been in a film directed by a famous Hollywood director (allegedly)
Hit said director with a rubber rock...
Fought wearing real armour.
had a fair bit of multi-person sex.
Had sex in public.
That's all i'm prepared to admit in public.
I've survived meningitis and cancer. You'd think that'd encourage me to seize life and its opportunities, but, err, not really. 😕
I've ridden singletrack on Everest
I spent 2 days in a bedroom with Linda Barker and my missus (and a film crew)
I once won a mountain bike race
I nicked a vicars bike
I broke my collar bone falling off a bike whilst drunk, on the same day on 2 consecutive years, in exactly the same place (its healing nicely now)
Shot a gun!!! Jesus I owned 2 S&W 44 Magnums, 2 .357 Colt Pythons, 3 .45ACP Colt auto's, various .22LR, .22 Short pistols, 7mm Rem Magnum Long Range handgun, .32 Britarms, 9mm Browning pistol plus a few more handguns, 7.62 H&K SLR, .223 Colt AR16 (M16 to you) 9mm Sterling and UZI, .243 Win Parker Hale deer stalking rifle and lot and lots of airweapons.
Surfed G-land.
broke my arm after almost hitting orbit in some gym horse/trampet action at school.
used my nose and chin as a brake when I fell off my skateboard. I would have used my arm but it was in a sling (see above).
had a contretemp with a stone dyke whilst riding a borrowed motorbike doing 60 mph 'very fast' with no licence, road tax, insurance (or mot) resulting in a trip to a&e in an ambulance (whilst singing Satellite of Love), surgery and 8 points on my licence.
fell off a climbing wall at a height of oh 4.5 feet and caught my arm on the back wall resulting in a commutated (compound?) fracture of my humerous, much pain and another ambulance ride to a&e. oh and 4 weeks off work...
managed to dislocate my finger falling off my bike in a motel car park in SW Utah resulting in a trip to the ER only to find that it needed surgery to reseat thus [i]not[/i] going on the guided/supported 5 day mountain bike trip in the high mountains at Brian Head.
Once interviewed for and appeared on local tv news on an item about space invaders (when I'd sagged off school...)
oh and once ran in to a strand of barbed wire at chest height and had to pull it out...
oh and I've also backed off v diffs and walked far too many tech sections...
Had a drunken fight with a mate which ended up with us both in The Water of Leith. We made up and went for a few more whiskies.
Fell almost 100 feet out of the tallest conifer tree in the Forest of Skene, survived and played a gig (sitting down) the next night (followed by months on crutches. Doh!).
Called my headmistress a bitch when I was in primary four (she was) and received the first detention in the school's history.
Had one of my photos used in a half page ad in a glossy sunday mag.
Snapped a bodybuilder's arm whilst arm-wrestling - the resulting spiral fracture was so complex they named the break after him (Casey Fracture).
Lots more which goes to the grave with me.
Only two I've spotted so far that I wish were on my list. Sadly, only one still achievable.
Once had Afternoon Tea with Eric Morcombe
danced drunk on a bar table with greg lemond
plus.....
Stolen a wolf's ankle bone - powerful juju/mojo thing
Scored twice against Stoke City
Loads of the others are ace
I'm inspired
shot a gun
flown a plane
flown a helicopter
killed an animal with my bike,motorbike,bare hands
eaten an entire tub of play dough
crashed a car
caught by the police
been to 12 different countries
sailed a boat
hidden for 16hours under a bed
kicked out of school for fighting,stealing,braking
got the poorest result in the school for english
handled £700,000 in notes
Hadge - Member
Shot a gun!!! Jesus I owned 2 S&W 44 Magnums, 2 .357 Colt Pythons, 3 .45ACP Colt auto's, various .22LR, .22 Short pistols, 7mm Rem Magnum Long Range handgun, .32 Britarms, 9mm Browning pistol plus a few more handguns, 7.62 H&K SLR, .223 Colt AR16 (M16 to you) 9mm Sterling and UZI, .243 Win Parker Hale deer stalking rifle and lot and lots of airweapons.
sounds like my dads gun cabinet 😉
Worn Lederhosen for extended periods of time. 🙂
Survived a two hundred and fifty foot cliff plunge..
Really?
I have
blagged my way back stage at half a dozen or so stadium gigs
smashed a two week old Jag up in a car wash
owned my own company with 15 staff when I was 24
been declared bankrupt (at 25)
never been happier!!
187mph on public roads - the bike wouldn't go any faster but at least it was faster than the Gendarmes!
Killed a donkey with my leatherman - for humane reasons.
Face to face with a wild leopard - about 6ft.
Loads of other stuff but won't bore you all....
On the subject of willy waving - I got made redundant from the sperm / w*nk bank (apparently you are only allowed to 'father' so many children).
Had tea in the kitchen of Worthy Farm made by Jean and Michael Eavis.
Escorted Honor Blackman to a black-tie charity ball.
Walked into a nightclub with one sister and walked home with the other.
Right so I'll do this proper like then, in chronological order.
Been on both BBC & ITV at the same time, just me, and not as part of a crowd
Sang a Solo on TV, on Songs of Praise from Leeds Cathedral
Fell off my BMX and shatered my jaw
Shot a gun ... at a train (not my best idea)
Pot holed Gapping Ghyll
Climbed the New Statesman at the Cow and Calf
Flew a Helicopter
Had an Escort Cosworth
Been shot at in anger
Had a Lancia Delta EvoIII
Got into a fight that involved tear gas
Faced Darren Gough in the nets at Headingley
Saw Oasis at Wembley
Driven at Oulton park, Silverstone and Thruxton
Met Eddie Jordan, Michael Douglas and Tara PT in one night at a party
Cycled the Elfstedentocht 3 times
Swan upto a Shark and swam away twice as fast
Flew a plane
Been a member of Soho House
Capsized a boat
Sailed Michael Grades 54ft Jeanneau yacht
Crashed in a TVR backwards through a stone wall
Watched the racing at Cowes last week from a £4.5 million superyacht
Rode a 125cc bike over 1000 miles to Aviemore & back when I was 17,
Stripped down and rebuilt a Triumph Bonneville and then commuted 20,000 miles in 12 months on it,
Driven a Porsche 911 around the Nurburgring,
Been clay pigeon shooting,
Slept rough loads after missing the last train from concerts all around the country in the '80's
Had a beer with Lemmy after climbing over the fence to the guest enclosure at Knebworth,
Slept on the shore rocks in Angelsey during a storm with only a silver foil 'blanket' for cover,
Sat outside having breakfast when it was -5 C last winter during a MTB ride,
Been arrested,
Caught a trout & cooked it,
Driven at 182 mph on the M40
Seen RUSH 18 times
this thread is awesome! it appears everyones a bit more interesting than the normal grumpy posts would suggest 😀
shame a couple of people have looked at it with a "nobody has had a life outside the computer so must be making this stuff up" attitude... but then again they might not have seen it as an opportunity to learn about some of the cool/interesting stuff people have achieved or been invovled with in their lives.
i've personally loved this thread... its fascinating stuff everyones been invovled with and really shows how exciting life can be at times.
my list was a mix of stuff i've been proud of and in some cases unfortunate enough to be involved in... but all of it has made me who i am in a way, and for that fact i have no regrets.
this thread has also reminded me of other cool/life changing stuff thats happened that i might have forgotten otherwise so for that i'm pretty thankful 🙂
been on tv (the news filmed the bungee jump cos it was for charity.. not my choice as scared of heights)
had a poem published
released an album
had sue pollard in my house (she scared the life out of me, think i cried at the side of my mums leg haha)
found 2 people hanging themselves, only managed to save one of them 🙁
been hit on the head by timmy mallet's mallet
turned down a 3some (biggest regret ever)
held the dead body of my 2 year old cousin (f*ck you cancer! - this pretty much changed the entire direction of my life)
i'm genuinely inspired by a lot of peoples posts.... as one of my favourite songs gos:
"The fallen comrades show you how
Because the time is now
Regrets mean nothing
All the decisions you’ve made make you who you are
As time moves on
Live life while you can
Tomorrow holds no promise
Its in your hands"
Rolled a snow mobile. The wife wasn't happy because she was riding pillion. 😀
Walked into a nightclub with one sister and walked home with the other.
We have a clear and definate winner!
Once had Afternoon Tea with Eric Morcombe
winner so far IMO
Not in the same league, but seen as guns are a theme
- returned from a trip to Belfast with a machine gun as a souvenir (civilian aircraft)
- had the check-in desk closed by an armed cop whilst I registered the machine gun
- was avoided (but whispered about and pointed at) by everyone in the departure lounge who'd seen me check in a rucksack with big tag on it that said FIREARM
And this during the marching season in Glasgow, so the flight was full of clowns in rangers tops who were probably on their way to get boozed up and look for a fight.
PSA - avoid the queues at checkin, take a firearm. Surchage £10/flight
Walked into a nightclub with one sister and walked home with the other.
I retract my previous comment, providing they weren't your sisters.
watched myself turn into green energy on my friends mums kitchen table.
Once had Afternoon Tea with Eric Morcombe.
Although looking back it was an incredible experience, sadly being only about seven at the time I didn't realise what an absolute comedy genius he was. 😥
I do remember spending about 2 hours laughing harder than I have ever laughed before. 🙂
I do remember spending about 2 hours laughing harder than I have ever laughed before
So you did appreciate him, instead of just being overawed the way an adult might have been?
How crap is my life? I've not done anywhere near all the things you lot have done. It's hardly worth saying any of the things I've done now.
Umm, I've shot quite a few guns, killed a few animals that I've subsequently gutted and eaten.
Driven a motorbike quick enough to scare me (about 140mph).
Been arrested.
Been beaten up.
Beaten some other people up.
Had sex with two sisters (although sadly not at the same time), and they weren't my sisters either.
Driven a Ferrari
Pretty tame stuff really.
Been a nurse for twenty three years, so I've seen more death and trauma than I deserve.
Told Bob Geldof I thought he was a w**ker.
Had a pint with Joe Strummer.
Got very scared in CBGB's.
Gobbed on Gary Glitter (admittedly, this was years before his 'hobby' became public knowledge, but I'm still proud of my actions).
Adopted two fantastic kids.
Recorded an album.
Sigourney Weaver held doors open for me at Elstree Film Studio as we discussed "The importance of being Ernest"
Was in Romania when the revolution started.
Flown in a Lightning with my Father. (much much respect to the old man)
Edit, Oh forgot one, I was on Crackerjack (it's fixed)
After reading some of these I feel totally inadequate.
I only own one MTB as well and that has v-brakes on it and it is only 24 speed 🙁
Told Bob Geldof I thought he was a w**ker.you win.
can someone tell me how to use that function.
"After reading some of these I feel totally inadequate."
To be honest, most of the 'interesting' stuff I did was practically a life time ago. These days, I prefer spending quiet time with my family, and I honestly wouldnt want to change it.
can someone tell me how to use that function.
press quote from the option bar - copy/ paste text - press quote again.
These days, I prefer spending quiet time with my family, and I honestly wouldnt want to change it.
Ditto, although I did take part in the [url= http://www.artxraykishorn.co.uk/jura/ ]Isle of Jura Fell Race[/url] this year - which definitely should be somewhere well up my list.
Not a lot for me -
- been smacked in the smalls by Jet from gladiator (back in the day)
- received CPR for real
- had a photo exhibited at the National Media Museum in Bradford
- had various magazine articles published
- been in the water with a great white shark (from inside a cage), a tiger shark (completely by accident) plus loads of other less dangerous types
- Fired a GPMG
- Ridden my motorbike at 175mph
- Driven a Aston Martin DB9 & Ferrari 355
- Eaten Wilderbeast, Ostrich, Crocodile, Zebra and other SOuth African animals
- Slept with a MILF (awesome when I was 18!)
- Been drunk swimming at 2am
- Went camping in the snow
- Been scooba diving
- Got a Jack the Rippers number
- Fell of my mtb in the carpark at Glentress...
I once blew my own trumpet
would that be gay?
"- Got a Jack the Rippers number"
What's this?
Nothing major to report but here goes:
Signed up for national service with the Finnish Army - camping at -30 in the snow anyone?
Created a night spectacle with 20 guys shooting 100 tracer bullets each at rocks
Ahem - Got on stage at a show in Amsterdam
Told a girl she should ask for a refund for her tongue piercing as she was still struggling after a year with her s', turns out she had a lisp
Convinced myself I was talking to a girl called erm. Asked erm why on earth her parents would think to call her erm!
God.. my life has been one sheltered existance compared to you lot!!
I've driven 20 miles in a landrover towing a boat under blue lights in 20 mins.. only a week after getting my blue light ticket
I've fired guns
I've been hit by a dutch arrow
I've been stabbed
I got caught in a riot
I nearly got caught by the police for 'getting to know a girl' on the side of a road
I dumped a girl on Christmas Eve
I saved a lad from drowning when I was 15 whilst on holiday in Portugal
I've been on tele a few times and been interviewed for a documentary about a lifeboat crew I was a member of
I pulled a child out of flood waters in Twekesbury
I rode a motorbike at over 100 miles an hour in england and at over 120 over the mountain circuit in the Isle of Man
Been physically ill from pain
Used a Defib on someone
Married my perfect partner
Watched my beautiful son being born... and that tops the lot
out of all the things listed i think being a dad/mum is the most impressive and something that scares the hell out of me.
"- Got a Jack the Rippers number"
What's this?"
Stripper 🙂 female might I add!
out of all the things listed i think being a dad/mum is the most impressive and something that scares the hell out of me.
scary.. yes, rewarding? more than you could possibly ever imagine 🙂
Okay I may as well join in then:
-Surfed a remote and dangerous spot alone in South NZ just after sightings of a 15ft Great White. Didn't get eaten.
-Chatted with Eric Clapton, David Essex and a few other slebs.
-Scored (all the way) two birds in one night - separated "pulls"
-Got nearly all the way with some actress from Corrie - she was quite fit but forgotten her name
-Driven loads of quick cars including Ferraris and tested one for the Independent (BMW 750i)
-Competed alongside top surfers
-Got to 4th in UK middleweight kickboxer after a big tournament - very briefly
-Passed a Royal Marines POC and AIB - didn't join though
-Won a small off road Sprint Triathlon
-Swum naked many times - standard form when growing up near a beach
-Fired a number of guns from GPMGs to Brownings
-Had a CAT scan
-Had a an MRI scan
-Had a heart scan
-ate two deadly nightshade berries aged 3 - didn't die
-got savaged by a dog - nearly lost my eye.
-Been knocked out a few times
-Never broken a bone (properly)
haven't read the thread in it's entirety, but am I right in thinking that some of the more vocal STW attention whore's main achievements appear to have been online?
idave - how do you mean "on-line?"
i meant that arguing on here is the whore's greatest achievement
idave - I getcha!
Need to add one more stupid thing:
-been stabbed - it hurt
i meant that arguing on here is the whore's greatest achievement
To whom are you referring?
watched myself turn into green energy on my friends mums kitchen table.
We've all been there...
I'm also feeling a bit inferior after reading some of the above, but here goes:
Been kicked off stage by Nicky Wire at a dive venue in Swansea on the Manic's first tour
Briefly in a highly unsuccessful Welsh language rock band (1 gig, recorded music for a never released Welsh TV drama!)
Skinny dipped in a waterfall
Taught some friend's kids to surf (one popped up on first attempt!)
Swum around a (very) small Greek island
Surfed the Severn Bore
Been wiped out by the Severn Bore, picked up by high-powered RIB, and deposited the other side of the wave to catch it again!
Climbed Snowdon, Ben Nevis and Scafell in a weekend
Held my Dad's hand as he passed away
Held my wife's hand as our lovely son was born by emergency C section (scariest and most humbling experience ever)
[i]Once had Afternoon Tea with Eric Morcombe.[/i]
Sorry everyone, but that one tops it for me. 🙂
I would suggest punching the baboon as my favourite, as you have to consider the entire scene
So, tea with Eric Morecambe, punching an ape till it spewed, and calling Sir Bob a w***er would appear to be the top 3. I must say I'm disappointed that gozzing on Gary Glitter didnt prove more popular, but there you go 😉
Ah **** it...
Lived in Vancouver (pretty much wish I still did)
Lived in Austria and learned to ski when I was 4
Lived in Italy
Seen an actress who plays a major character in a northern soap giving someone a blow job in some woods (before she was famous)
Did the Megavalanche (have I mentioned this before? 🙂 ) having never ridden in the Alps before
Been paid to DJ at festivals abroad
DJ'd on Romanian music TV wearing a Yasser Arafat style head thingy
Been filmed for an upcoming BBC programme with Goldie
Had a Sunday Observer mag journalist come to write a piece about a project I set up
Was one of the headliners at the first Kendal Calling festival just before Pendulum
Made music for adverts
Organised some fairly legendary raves/parties in the middle of nowhere with several hundred people
Been in a small plane which did loop-the-loops and barrel rolls etc (and was sick 🙂 )
Had a pint with Mark Owen from Take That (wow!) 🙂
Jumped off a fairly high bridge while drunk
Erm....
Nothing too exciting (but all true 😉 )
I thought punching the baboon was a euphemism
you mean he kicked a gibbon?
punching a baboon is something to do with sawing wood and feeling like your dad.. from an Eddie Izzard routine.. a bit like letting a mouse run over your hands while you wash them..
I once kicked a lemur though.. for getting fresh with with my neice.. well.. more truthfully I kinda pushed it away with my foot but that would make the story slightly more dull than it already is..
I also eat a Fly Agaric toadstool back in the arly 90s.. the red and white spotty ones.. cooked into a spag bol.. I wouldn't wholeheartedly recommend this to anyone..
surfed big waves
snowboarded alone, off piste, got lost, climbed down an icy revine
done outdoor dirty deeds
played guitar to a crowd of 8000
grown my hair long, twice.
got arrested, twice.
cycled for charity
own shotguns
grown grapes
had my own boat
been on the radio
kept livestock
140mph in a mates BMW M3
surfed big waves
How big?!
Done 10-12ft/triple overhead France. It wasn't fun - it was bloody terrifying TBH and very hard to get back to the shore.
Hunted monkey's with a blow pipe
Maxed out a Honda Blackbird XX - nearly resulted in my death as well so - cheated death at 180mph
Swam with sharks (black tipped so not that exciting)
Walked through the highest jungle walkway in the world - papping myself
Had Dengue Fever
Lived in Canada, Thailand and South Korea
Never went to the DMZ.
Had a near miss with an elephant in the dark because it wasn't wearing a red tail light.
Found a 3.5m reticulated python in my garden,
Found a 2mish cobra in the garden.
Had a mental mate throw baby bamboo vipers at me from my garden whilst capturing the python
Found a frog in my motorbike boot.
Been attacked by a Tao-Kae
Found a turtle wandering around my shoes one morning.
Come home in the monsoons to ride down my drive way in the dark and end up in four foot of water - motorbike kicked over first time after being fully submerged - had fish swimming about the driveway.
been involved in a 3some (biggest regret ever)
married the wrong woman
not drowned (several times)
not burned to death (several times)
failed to live fast and die young (debatable about the good looking corpse)
can't remember many things (concerts, club nights etc...)
not killed the kids (some days it's been close tho')
other than that done some cooking, cycling and cocktail making
with hugging trees and desk jockeying on the side