[Closed] New person started at work, things not going well...

piss in his shoes

Make your own

Still in probationary period - get rid

Don't drink his coffee - get yer own?

It's the old trick of do a bad job so you don't have to do it again!

Are we talking mellow birds here or has he just used too coarse a grind for the espresso and the crema isn't to your satisfaction? Probably best get rid to be safe either way.

in my experience making bad coffee at the start is a way of never having to do it again, call his bluff design and make him attend a coffee making lecture as part his induction, if he fails this then he knows where the door is......

He's probably rimming your cup with his bell end.

His coffee is bloody awful.

Freeze dry your crap and mix it in with his coffee. See if he notices.

Someone makes your coffee for you? Where do you work a bank or are you a civil servant?

I have heard a funny story, where I used to work where someone offered to make a colleague a coffee and make made it but filling a mug up with espresso shots.

Apparently it was a bit strong.

monkeyfudger - Member
He's probably rimming your cup with his bell end

Giving your cup a quick wipe with a fresh chilli before you give it to him should quickly prove whether this is happening or not.

Someone makes your coffee for you?

Just so we are straight, there's five of us, we take turns. I had already made him a drink this morning so it was his turn. I'll decline next time.

Bloody tea drinkers, can't trust the ****ers.

Surely it's just a training issue?

I always used to issue new employees with a Manilla envelope with instructions to make sure my tea was the same colour.

give him the peoples elbow:

[img] [/img]

Just so we are straight, there's five of us, [s]we[/s] four of us take turns, one of us is on here, smirking.

Where do you work ? Starbucks ?

Talk to the boss, clearly their interviewing / screening process was inadequate ?

If domestic chores where a prime consideration why didn't you hire a ... no I won't say it (only joking of course)

Do you work in IT, or local government?

If the former, show him the door. Tea has very little place in the highly charged, cut and thrust of the IT world. If the latter, just don't bother getting worked up about it. It won't do any good.

Alternatively, just spend the rest of your afternoon making an A4 reference sheet of how to make good coffee, laminate it and then give it to him as a learning task for his trial period.

give him the peoples elbow:

That's not the peoples elbow!

Put spiders in his....oh wait, that's the wife.

A new hire guy is coming to work for us. We have branded him an egotistical arrogant braggard. Purely based on his self love LinkedIn profile.

I saw his profile picture, I hope its an elaborate wind up....

I know his coffee will be awful. And we have a nice machine that does it all for you.

It's not instant coffee is it?

People's elbow

I hear there's an [url= http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/valued-tea-lady-retiring-after-many-years-give-me-some-jokes-for-a-speech ]experienced tea lady going to be out of a job soon.[/url] Make her an offer she can't refuse.

We have branded him an egotistical arrogant braggard. Purely based on his self love LinkedIn profile.

I'm sure he'll be delighted to have landed a job with lovely people like you!

We have branded him an egotistical arrogant braggard. Purely based on his self love LinkedIn profile.

I'm sure he'll be delighted to have landed a job with lovely people like you!

We decided not to interview someone recently due to their LinkedIn profile pic, people seem to forget it's not facebook but potentially a projection of the company that they work for.

Make her an offer she can't refuse.

Leave a used teabag in her bed. Then she'll get the message,

Leave [s]a used teabag[/s]the retired tea lady in her bed. Then she'll get the message.

FTFY

Make her an offer she can't refuse.

I honestly read that as an otter she can't refuse.

In that case you should probably tarka break from the screen.

Here's an idea, get one of these from Morrison's:

[img] [/img]

and make your own before you go to work. It'll keep blisteringly hot for hours, and it'll be exactly to your taste.

Only one way to be sure you get the coffee you want - Own him with!!

[img] [/img]

Bombers for ants?

tell him it was crap, and he needs to learn how to do it right. or, one of two things will happen.
1. take him round the back, for a 'chat' and teach him the error of his ways.
2. remind him he's not through his probationary period, and fire his ass.

My brother told me about a work experience boy that passed through their office - on lunch break on day one, the screen saver popped up to show that he'd changed the text to "I am the best". Could never decide whether it was the bored, time-filling action of a dolt or a stroke of subliminal brilliance.

Follow him home and superglue his front door shut when he has gone to bed, he will be late for work, do this until he is sacked !

1. take him round the back

fnar.