• This topic has 22 replies, 19 voices, and was last updated 9 years ago by AdamW.
Viewing 23 posts - 1 through 23 (of 23 total)
  • Valued tea lady retiring after many years – give me some jokes for a speech.
  • globalti
    Free Member

    As it says, our much-loved and valued tea lady finishes tomorrow and I’ve been volunteered to do the speech. She loves smutty innuendo so I’ll be sure to include the one about a tea bag going in dry, coming out wet and giving two people great pleasure.

    Got any more jokes?

    thepurist
    Full Member

    You need to mention one of these

    mr-potatohead
    Free Member

    Enjoy your rest, you’ve urned it !!!!

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    sandwicheater
    Full Member

    We’ve replaced you with a soulless machine, viva la revolucion!

    towzer
    Full Member

    she always did it better than a Goblin teasmade

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teasmade

    *may be understood by elderly smutty people

    bloody hell, that’ll teach me to multitask and not read properly- sorry beaten to it

    try something about a long spout

    racefaceec90
    Full Member

    [video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogrfAgbIfFo[/video]

    theotherjonv
    Full Member

    Combining smut and tea – 50 Shades of Earl Grey.

    DezB
    Free Member

    Sorry? A tea lady? The 70s return: first white dog pooh and now a tea lady!

    wwaswas
    Full Member

    I’ve not watched all of this but may well contain innuendo.

    [video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjGmpqfOkps[/video]

    eddie11
    Free Member

    Tea ladies? smut? You are a time traveller from the 1970s and I claim my 10 pounds. Edit: soooooo slow

    Having said that there are probably riffs on the themes of old bags and how do you take it?

    globalti
    Free Member

    A couple of good ideas there lads, thanks.

    (Note: I work at a old-fashioned company; we have money in the bank and we pay cash for stuff including cars.)

    eddie11
    Free Member

    Probably mileage in dunking as well. You can open up biscuit innuendo then. Viennese finger anyone?

    project
    Free Member

    She loves smutty innuendo

    Worked with 2 scoucers witrha limited vocabulary, i made a joke about something, andf my mate said thats a good inuendo, to which one of the soucers said in a loud mouth, Whats a a f**KING inuendo.

    Also mention you like dunking your hob nobs in her daily 50 shades of earl grey.
    Also wish her the best on her transfer from, coasta nothing to costa lotta coffee house.

    project
    Free Member

    Oh and when a tight arse left a place we used to work at, he didnt like paying towards tea bags, we framed one and gave it to him as an emergency supply, with a break glass sticker attached, you can buy the boxes from screwfix

    http://www.screwfix.com/p/sterling-emergency-key-safe-safe-break-glass/66994

    martinhutch
    Full Member

    she always did it better than a Goblin teasmade

    Surely there’s nothing more satisfying than a good Goblin?

    bikebouy
    Free Member

    Ahhh Go On, you will, you will, go on…

    boxelder
    Full Member

    …..old bag….

    thehustler
    Free Member

    the reason the place runs so well is when she started the boss asked for bourbon(s) with his tea, one little error andit all went up hill from there

    bearnecessities
    Full Member

    [Carry On]
    Great buns/baps/meat filling etc.
    Finger sanwhiches.
    Good for a quick roll at lunchtime.
    Treacle tart.
    [/Carry On]

    dannyh
    Free Member

    Surely some mention of ‘tea-bagging’ is in order here?

    lemonysam
    Free Member

    “I’d always wanted to give her my custard cream but instead over the years she’s given me many a chocolate finger.”

    “She often used to be seen spooning furiously to satisfy (insert name of sweet tea drinker)’s cravings but since he showed her his sugar lumps she’s never been the same.”

    globalti
    Free Member

    Hmmmm yes…. warm and wet with two lumps….

    AdamW
    Free Member

    Call her a burglar as all proper-tea is theft!

    IGMC

Viewing 23 posts - 1 through 23 (of 23 total)

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