[Closed] Naffest film ever made

Reign Of Fire.

Whaaaaat!?

I can remember seeing one years ago called 'The Gods Must Be Crazy'. Still don't know if it was so bad it was hilarious or if it was actually comedy gold. Anyone mind of it?

Have any of you actually seen Brigadoon? Nothing mentioned here comes close.

A lot of people seem unable to differentiate films they didn't enjoy to ones that are just naff.

People maybe didn't enjoy Con Air but it's a rather excellent action genre piece.

Gigi is the one that immediately springs to mind, as does the Wickerman remake. The Star Wars prequels were all pretty bad but Sex and the City 2 tales the biscuit surely. Awful all over the shop in so many ways.

Mac and me.

2 hour et copy and macdonalds advert.

An alien that has to have a thickshake to survive?

Dancing mcds staff...

Clearly no one here has tried Wing Commander !? check any critic - it is so desperately bad and I've yet to meet anyone ever who thinks other wise. Lots of naff films are good at being bad but this tries hard and is truely desperate. in fact its not naff as that would be sort of ok in a naff way this is desperate, just desperate.
Once decribed as needing more than a suspension of belief but a completely f****ed up mind. What is does provide is the odd entertaining review.

Anything wih ewan Mcgregor is worth avoiding, but special mention goes to the film "blue juice" as an example of hackneyed British tosh.

Who ever said Jason and the Argonauts is feeble minded, as Jimjams said it is brilliant.

Pacific rim. Utter, utter, utter bilge.

And don't tell anyone I also secretly quite like it...

Marley and Me, watching it now, makes me want to pop my own dog in a sack with some bricks and cast it into the canal. 2 hrs of CRINGiFYING SH*T.

Highlander V

Tragically I quite like about half the films mention in this thread.

Its on TV right now (Channel 5 if you're interested, home of naff films).

Top Gun.
Almost so bad it's good. Almost. But all naff.

Basically a string of factual and continuity errors wound round a hackneyed and clichéd script.

[i]Highlander V[/i]

5?! Highlander? FIVE?? Blimey. I didn't even make it to the end of the first one. How did they make 4 more?!? 😆

As above Highlander 5? WTF.
I do love the first highlander film.

Top Gun - cheesy but not awful, great aerial film work and soundtrack.

Worst film, too many to choose from, but Open Water is up there with the worst.

All the fast & furious films

2012

10'000 bc

All jurasic park films except the first one which is only ok at best.

Bringing out the dead ( Nic Cage again )

Tragically I quite like about half the films mention in this thread.

That because an awful lot of them are half decent (or very good, birdman, wtf?!) and STW users have weird taste 😉

I saw "the homesman" a few weeks ago: appalling film.

Complete drivvel - you are completely confused for about 10 minutes afterwards, then you start getting angry because nothing makes sense.

Sharknado, sand sharks and anything else with sharks on Syfy. Jurassic Park 2 and 3.

Mutant chronicles with John Malkovich and Ron Pearlman,total rubbish not even so bad it was almost good....

I am surprised that this has got to three pages without Independence Day getting a mention. A truly awful film full of American bilge....

I have to say Birman was pretentious and awful , (Whiplash was just pretentious) but there are far worse films out there ...
Birman is possibly the first film I wanted to walk out of. The story was gash and the jazz drumming did my head in

Battleship.

I'm still not sure if it was a spoof (intentionally or otherwise).

3 replies in!

I saw the reviews of this and who was in it. Then I caught it on TV a few months back and was weirdly transfixed for about 20 minutes before the wife asked me what crap it was that I was watching and I turned it off.

Mama Mia is so stupidly cringeworthy I'm ashamed to say I kinda enjoy it in a weird way.

And Blue Juice? No way, thats one of the best films ever!

Birman is possibly the first film I wanted to walk out of. The story was gash and the jazz drumming did my head in

Darling,it's clear that you were never meant to tread the boards.
The film is an utter delight ,Mwah!

🙂

I was forced to take one of my children to see one of the seemingly many Alvin & The Chipmunks movies. It was not good.

Cliffhanger - It had Stallone in it, should have known....

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Mega Python vs Gatoroid - with Debbie Gibson and Tiffany

Some hilarious scenes - like when they are fighting in a pond or something and it all goes quiet after these monsters tear up a dinner party and Tiffany turns to Debbie and goes "I think we're alone now"

Classic

Cliffhanger ,the first 5 minutes is good,great filming 🙂

joat - Member
Without a paddle. Friends I watched it with were laughing, which only added to my bemusement.

I've seen that one on TV a couple of times and quite enjoyed it.

Con Air isn't naff. It's great. Watched Top Gun again. Yeah it's mostly terrible but with some fab bits in it. If you want naff, you've got be looking at Nick Cage (again) in HellRider and HellRider 2 and Tom Cruise in Legend.

Still they've not exactly starved on making rubbish movies eh?

Watched octopussy yesterday - my god it's bad. Indian chap lying on a 'bed of nails' which were obviously rubber as you could see them all bending. Utter crap and probably the absolute low point of the 007 series.

Has anyone mentioned The Happening with Mark Wahlberg? Hysterically bad. M Night Shyamalan's fall from grace was quite spectacular. I'm almost tempted to watch his adaptation of The Last Airbender. Apparently they didn't screentest it outside of the US, and they often shorten "Airbender" to just "bender" so in the UK it contains several hilarious lines such as "He's a bender", "here come the benders", "the benders are attacking" etc.

Con Air - naff? Come off it. It's ace - despite Cage. There are far worse examples of this genre.

Ok so it's a kids film but the 1.5 hours of A Turtles Tale with the kids is time will never get back. Never have I seen a film so devoid of narrative, wit, interest or visual appeal. Just pap. Dire. Even the kids were asking when is it finishing....

Con Air - naff? Yes. Shit, naff, annoying, stupid, rubbish.
You're allowed to like it, though. As much as I'm allowed to dislike it, thanks.

The Cat from Outer Space

Even as a kid it was naff! can't believe it has 5.9 stars on the IMDB.

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Con Air - naff? Yes. Shit, naff, annoying, stupid, rubbish.
You're allowed to like it, though. As much as I'm allowed to dislike it, thanks.

Like arseholes, we've all got opinions eh? Don't go getting annoyed by it though. It's not like its important. Life's too short. Jesus. 🙄

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Mate said "It'll be good Jack's films are always good."
Terrible.

[i]Life's too short. Jesus[/i]

AND STOP CALLING ME JESUS.

To be honest, that didn't annoy me either. It's not like I'm banging on the keys or anything.
Con Air did annoy me though.

I thought 'Somethings Gotta Give' was pretty good! 6/10 on the Naffness scale I'd say.

I watched American Sniper last night which I'm giving 8/10, 'Wer'e heading out on patrol, got to keep a look out & be fully alert cos there's bad guys out there trying to kill us, ahh well, while I'm not busy I'll phone the wife'

NAFF OFF! Big disappointment that was, he doesn't even have any sniping records. (unless he shot someone while being on the phone that is)

Did some moron mention Blue Juice and naff in the same sentence earlier?

I don't friggin think so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...well perhaps it is but is UK NAFF and that's a lot betterer than US naff!

Any Police Academy movie…….

Vertical Limit

The trailer made it look so good. I even bought the DVD on Ebay. God, it was carp.

And don't start me on "The Kings Speech". Yawn......

Well it has to be Star Wars, I've tried a few times to watch it all the way through and have not made it yet.

Bearing in mind the OP's call for the [i]naffest[/i] film, it has to be the following:

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Tommy Lee Jones' cartoon of a leprechaun of an Irish terrorist is SO BAD, it took The Three Burial of Melquiedes Estrada to redeem him.

Skimmed the thread. Now everyone's entitled to an opinion, shag urn a son goot, yadda yadda.

But all I can conclude is hear is a whole bunch of people lucky enough never to have seen

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Got me my 1000 yard stare. Basically you just don't know, if you weren't there...