Can't believe I got to tell this, but here goes.
Who was the leader of the pedant's revolt?
Which Tyler.
APF
Quote
"One day I believe all black men will own 50inch plasma tvs and dress in designer trainers"
Martin Looter King
ok for completeness I'll do the binary joke no-ones done yet...
binary eh, it's as easy as 1 10 11
I am therefore I think.
Sorry, I was putting Descartes before the horse there....
That's not a neutrino in my pocket, I've got a hadron. 😉
Two atoms are walking down the street when they bump into each other. One atom seems fine, but the other atom is obviously shaken up.
"Are you all right?" asks the one atom solicitously.
"No!" cries the other atom, looking about frantically. "I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!"
Back in the 70's I was in Ashington in Northumberland, I went into a hairdressers & asked for a perm. The barber says, 'I wandered, lonely as a cloud...'
What's the best cure for seasickness?
Sit under an oak tree.
All day I've been trying to work out what a void consists of....i've given up. Ah well no matter.
An egg and a sausage in a frying pan, the egg turns to the sausage and says 'Hows it going?' to which the sausage replies 'F*ck me, a talking egg!'
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Oh, took me a little while to get that multimeter one.. hehehe...
Is that just a "Resistance is futile" thing, or is there more to it? Saw this today, wasn't expecting a nerd joke, so took me a while to get it. Brilliant.
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This one made me giggle a bit today as well.
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Which Tyler is now my favourite joke of all time. Oh my word, I can't stop laughing.
Should it not be the Pedants' Revolt?
Superb, Willard!
A Higgs boson particle walks into a bar. The barman says 'ah there you are!'.
An Electron and a Proton walk in to a bar,
Proton says, "Your round"
Electron "Are you sure?"
Proton "Positive"
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
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.
.
To get to the same side!
A Neutron walks in to a bar and asks for a Gin & Tonic, "how much is that?" it asks the bar man
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For you sir, No charge!
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Enough of the neutron/no charge electron/positive jokes lol..
A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "Nah, I want it chewin' a bone yer daft bugger!"
One for Don Simon.
A Spaniard is in London and wanders into a clothes shop, and says in a very thick accent, "Hello sor, carn you elp me, I nid som, como se dice, how you say, calcetines?"
The shopkeeper says "I'm sorry mate, I don't speak a word of Spanish, could you describe what you need?"
The Spaniard points at his feet. The shopkeeper says "You need some shoes?"
The Spaniard says "Shoos! Si!" and looks hopeful. So the shopkeeper wanders off and comes back with a pair of shoes in a box. But it's clearly not right, the Spaniard says "sorry, no shoos" and points to his feet again.
So the shopkeeper guesses again "You need some trainers?"
The Spaniard says "Trayners! Si!" and looks hopeful again. so the shopkeeper wanders off and comes back with a pair of Nike. But it's clearly not right, the Spaniard says "sorry, no trainers" and points to his feet again.
The shopkeeper's getting really annoyed, but suggests "Socks perhaps?" and goes to the back, the returns with a pair of black cotton socks.
The Spaniard is clearly happy with this: "Ah, 'socks'! Eso si que es!"
The shopkeeper scowls and says "Well if you knew how to spell it, why didn't you tell me in the first place?!"
Well, I lolled.
Cougar that went on so long, but still quite good 😀
They can't [i]all [/i]be one-liners. Variety is the spice.
No, wait, I'm thinking of cumin.
Arguements against the theory of nominative determinism?
Michael Winner?
Loving the revival, and lol.
Know any good sodium jokes? Na.
Not hard to get, but quite hard to tell, especially after a pint of Guinness or six...
Q How do you titillate an ocelot?
A: Oscillate it's tits a lot.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
Know any good sodium jokes? Na.
😀
This is one of my favourites but nobody else seems to like it. It came from Kurt Vonnegut:
Q: What is the white stuff in bird shit?
A: That's bird shit too.
Unbeknown to most people, Pavlov's first experiment was to ring a bell and make his dog attack Schrodinger's cat.
Oh, and a Freudian Slip is saying one thing and meaning your mother.
Did Schrodinger's cat survive this experience Pyro? Have you had a look to see?
Oh, and a Freudian Slip is saying one thing and meaning your mother.
Liked this one 😀
Q: What is the white stuff in bird shit?
A: That's bird shit too.
Is that even a joke..? 😕
edit: Is it a deeply political ironic joke that's completely impossible to understand by anyone who doesn't have a real in depth knowledge of some commentary some guy did on something that sounds a little boring?
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Loads of the bloody things at [url= http://icanhascheezburger.com/2011/07/26/funny-pictures-chemistry-cat-science-puns/ ]Chemistry Cat.[/url]
Laughed at that ^
Which Strictly Come Dancing contestant knows how many partners they can dance with this year?
Holly Valence
Mr & Mrs Bennett-Not-Another-Thread-Resurection and their son....
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Go on, finish it off, you know you want to!
Gordon!
I was going to tell you all a joke about UDP, but I don't know if you'll get it.
if this is the same thread, the Acorbat PDF joke is the best.....
Why did the architect have his house maid/made backwards?
So he could watch television.
Only two things smell of fish.
(Nerds won't get that one)
I was going to tell you all a joke about UDP, but I don't know if you'll get it.
Now that's geeky.
The barman says "We don't server tachyons in here".
A tachyon walks into a bar.
F. Zappa's version of Sparkyspice's joke:
There are three things that smell of fish
One of them is fish
The other two...
...are growing on you
Went for a job as a farrier.
Potential boss asked: -have you ever shoed a horse?
-No, but I told a goat to **** off one time
edit: didn't realise this forum excised the **** word. The joke doesn't work without it.
I'll get my cont.
