RM: Proper loled at the Pascal joke 😀
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Has to be my favourite XKCD, I use fourier transforms daily...
The waiter brought me a plate with 2 dots on it.
I said 'No, you fool - I asked for an omlette!'
The best bit about this thread is you can't tell if the jokes are really duff or you just don't get them
Enjoying lots, googling even more
I've got most of these so far but you're gonna have to explain that one!
Umlout (Sp?) Mols
Oh I see... Umlaut...
How do you work out how many customers in a restaurant are only there for a drink?
With a binomial distribution.
Aha result!
Here I am by myself on a Friday night laughing at all the jokes. 🙂
How do you work out how many customers in a restaurant are only there for a drink?With a binomial distribution.
Took me a moment to get that one. Like it.
B_Leach, haven't done transforms yet, doing them at the start of next year. Hopefully I'll be able to fully understand that comic then..
int 1/(cabin) d(cabin) = ?
Ahaha.. binomial.. got there in the end 🙂
It's not the same thing, but I just watched a musical comedy show on the BBC which was completely dependant on the listener being both a Kate Bush and a Kate Nash fan. [i]Brave.[/i]
Never Twice the Same Colour.
Conversely, Picture Always Lousy.
don Simon - how does it smell?
An old man walks into the bakers - "A loaf a bread please"
Baker replies "wholemeal, white or granary?"
Old man says "It doesn't matter, I've got me bike outside."
Never Twice the Same Colour.
Conversely, Picture Always Lousy.
just got both of those, seen together.
An engineer and a physicist are both chasing the same girl (a philosopher). She cannot decide which one can have her so she sets them a challenge.
"Starting from over there you have to walk towards me halving the distance each step you take, the first one to kiss me can have me"
The physicist thinks for a minute and complains "Thats impossible I'll never get there"
The engineer walks towards her halving each step and eventually ends up 1mm from her face, leans forwards, kisses her and says " Near enough"
Two parrots sat on a perch
One turns to the other
"Can you smell fish?"
Where did Heisenberg first pronounce his principle?
Here.. no,there...over here...up there...everywhere.."Not sure he did"
Pessimists will tell you that glasses are half empty
Optimists will tell you that glasses are half full
Optometrists will tell that the second pair are half price
Every couple has a moment in a field.
I'm concerned about how many of these I get.
An old man walks into the bakers - "A loaf a bread please"
Baker replies "wholemeal, white or granary?"
Old man says "It doesn't matter, I've got me bike outside."
Not getting this one at all 😕
How do you work out how many customers in a restaurant are only there for a drink?With a binomial distribution.
Proper made me giggle, that did.
Pessimists will tell you that glasses are half empty
Optimists will tell you that glasses are half full
Optometrists will tell that the second pair are half price
Engineers will tell you that the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Every couple has a moment in a field.
Oh, that is [i]good.[/i]
Not getting this one at all
I put it down as either 'surreal' or a trick to try and make you work it out.
No soap radio did spring to mind.
Toys19, that joke was clearly created by an engineer who doesn't know how physicists work 🙂
Also they'd need to be 2 steps away. If they were further they'd never reach, but the girl doesn't state how far they are away..
I suggest you try it out...
[i]Toys19, that joke was clearly created by an engineer who doesn't know how physicists work [/i]
Or a british engineer.
Also they'd need to be 2 steps away. If they were further they'd never reach, but the girl doesn't state how far they are away
Go on then - why?
Because the somethingion of 2^-n from n=1 -> 2 as n -> inf.
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..Duh?
😀
boxelder- awful. 😆
A hippy goes into a bakers and says "can I have two doughnuts please."
The baker says "the doughnuts are all gone."
The hippy says "Excellent dude. I'll have five!"
"[i]A photon walks into two bars.[/i]"
This I like. And the Pascal one.
A person walks into a Glasgow bakers and asks "Is that a pavlova or a meringue?". The baker replies, "No, you're right."
No-one in Glasgow would ever ask about a pavlova. Some of them have a small piece of fruit in...
Auguste Escoffier once made a merangue-based desert as a treat for Anna Pavlova. However, no sooner had he delivered it to her than the door-bell rang again and Pavlova's dog ate it.
*applauds*
A glasgow school teacher explains to his student that although in almost every language a double negative makes a positive, there are no languages where a double positive makes a negative.
'Aye right' replies the student
Only a startled meringue will come back to you.
Don't get the hippy doughnuts one.
Because the somethingion of 2^-n from n=1 -> 2 as n -> inf.
Ah yes.. see I haven't got my green booklet with me 🙂
Auguste Escoffier once made a merangue-based desert as a treat for Anna Pavlova. However, no sooner had he delivered it to her than the door-bell rang again and Pavlova's dog ate it.
Took me about 5 minutes to get that.
Everyone at my work mocks me for being a nerd, but tomorrow I'm going to bring a lump of coal in and show them what I'm really made of.
Swedish man walks into Boots
"I'd like some deoderent please" he says to the assistant
"Certainly sir. Ball or aerosol?"
"Neither, I want it for my armpits"
A man walks into a St Helens hardware shop and asks for some turps
"Certainly sir, do you want audio turps or video turps?"
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like bananas.
...and tits like coconuts.
well the ones in our garden do, but the blackbirds prefer sultanas.
