Internet dating dil...
 

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[Closed] Internet dating dilemma

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Ok, so it's probably a case of the grass is greener and that sort of thing, but the scenario is this, for my, err, mate...

He's met a girl through the Internet, about a month ago and seen her about 8 or so times and has got on well, to the extent that it could be considered the early stages of a relationship. But say yesterday he got an email from someone through the same website that he's seen around the local area and thought 'cor blimey, she's gorgeous!' and comes across really well in a description too.

So, he's tempted to reply, but at the same time recognizes that he's currently seeing a really nice girl and is it worth jeopardizing that? My gut feel is no but, err, he's not sure.

So, is there a standard protocol to this? Should my advice to him be to be more than happy with the nice girl he's got and could conceivably be considered as punching above his weight anyway?

It's a modern dilemma for the modern man. What say the socially skilled and socially underskilled that frequent these parts?


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 11:54 am
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Is there the opportunity for both together at the same time? You could ask & it could be fun, if tiring 😆


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 11:56 am
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maybe you should mail her and leave your "mate" with his current project


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 11:56 am
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Suggest a 3some?

Or just go behind her back..


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 11:57 am
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We're going to need pics to sort this one out.


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 11:57 am
 hora
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Honest opinion? Your mate has seen a nice girl 8 times already. Give it a chance. (When do you stop browsing/shopping? springs to mind otherwise).

Ps. I'd also mention to your mate to remove his 'single'/available tag or profile from there as well. If this relationship develops, the first girl may pop on there to see if you are still on/active then its dumpsville. Not bad? What happens if you mate felt a fool and really liked her?


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 11:58 am
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Your mate's not in a relationship yet?


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 11:59 am
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it's not Gary is it

the girl i mean, not your errr....mate


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 12:00 pm
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Has your mate (you) slept with this girl yet? Or is he still on the tell me your life stories and go for dinners stage? It makes a difference, to some.


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 12:01 pm
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*Tannoy*

FatSimon to the Forum please...

*TAnnoy*


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 12:02 pm
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They say a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Although it probably has the wrong connotations here.


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 12:04 pm
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I bet girl1 has set up a new account as girl2 to test mate1 isn't a complete and utter ****.


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 12:08 pm
 hora
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Playing with fire?
Be the eternal Glenn Quagmire?
Or..
Met a grounded, well-adjusted girl who is settling?


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 12:09 pm
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Having experienced this first hand and also talked to some girl friends about it, imho your 'friend' should think take up the offer of the second girl he also fancies.

This is because, although he may have seen the other girl a number of times he has no idea what else she is up to. So if he feels he wants to go for it he should. If however he is considering 'going exclusive' with the 8 date girl he should have that conversation with her so they both know where they stand.

Don't let him restrict himself when he doesn't have to. She won't. Probably.

HTH 😯

Good luck!


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 12:11 pm
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A polite letter back, saying "sorry, just entered into a relationship, but just in case, what's your number?" So she's easy to find if the current dating breaks down


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 12:13 pm
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my mate joined one of these sites once separated and he was getting loads of action 😉 fill your boots 😉
[IMG] [/IMG]


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 12:13 pm
 hora
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[i]fill your boots[/i]

Surely he is filling something else? 8)


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 12:14 pm
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*Tannoy*

FatSimon to the Forum please...

*TAnnoy*

PMSL!!


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 12:15 pm
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Mmw, no it's not Gary! My mate likes the ladies not fixie-fakengers...


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 12:24 pm
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Meet the new bird but wear a diguise and put on a fake accent, thats my advice


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 1:32 pm
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The fact your mate is asking this question means he's not ready for a relationship!


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 1:40 pm
 hora
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Are we talking Russian or Thai brides PK?


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 1:42 pm
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aleigh - Member
The fact your mate is asking this question means he's not ready for a relationship!

I can assure you he is, he just wants to be sure about it as he genuinely wants to settle down with a great person.


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:00 pm
 hora
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aleigh, he might be in the same position as me.......eyes bigger than his...... 😯


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:03 pm
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sus out of the stunna has anything between her ears before checking out whats between her.........................................................................................................


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:07 pm
 hora
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mikew surely its the other way round. Imagine she had the ugliest Labia known to man..


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:09 pm
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There will [b]always[/b] be someone who might have been better.


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:11 pm
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[i]I can assure you he is, he just wants to be sure about it as he genuinely wants to settle down with a great person. [/i]

But in my eyes if she was the right one there would be no hesitation. Tell him to stop being a plank and enjoy being with the girl he's been seeing! Also tell him to forget anyone else that may flutter their eyelashes at him (unlike hora who just can't help himself 😉 )


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:11 pm
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You have known the girl for a total of one month and been out 8 times FFS - hardly the point at which you owe her anything.

Had it been 8 months then maybe it would be a little bit different a dilemma.

I say go out with the other girl once or twice, just see how you get on, if you still think she is a better bet the Girl A then you know what to do.


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:11 pm
 hora
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Its true. I was considering taking Bromide or employing binners to geld me 😯

Hang on. GO FOR IT FELLA. In a few years your woman pulling abilities may dry up. I say tap them as much as you can whilst you can.


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:12 pm
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^^^ Agree with Aleigh that if Girl A was perfect and you already know it, then you wouldn't be asking the question. But it doesn't alway happen like that - sometimes relationships are instantly right, sometimes it takes a little longer to know what you want from them.


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:14 pm
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depends on if you don't mind never seeing the 1st girl again. If you are not bothered then go for it.


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:14 pm
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has he got really good eyesight?


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:15 pm
 hora
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[i]has he got really good eyesight?[/i]

Debatable- have you seen PK's friend? 8)

richc, succinctly put.


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:17 pm
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I don't think it counts as a 'relationship' after only 8 dates. Meet the new one and see what you, sorry, he thinks. Make sure 'he' doesn't keep the other girl on the back burner for too long, that's just not right.


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:18 pm
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whatever you do make sure you [url= http://www.durexworld.com/en-GB/Pages/default.aspx ]suit up[/url]


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:18 pm
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another way to look at it, how would you feel if you found out she was shopping around just to double check. Would you be OK about it? or bin her?

The answer to that, should make the decision easy.


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:21 pm
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Any adult who thinks s/he has any say on what someone else does after only knowing them a month has serious issues IMO. Surely after such a short time it is open season?

I know I would never expect anything from a girl after knowing her for such a short time and if someone expected more from me I would walk away myself because if they are like that at month one, what TF would they be like after a year...


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:26 pm
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at this point we need to define relationship, has he
A) Paid for dinner and drinks a lot be always returned home alone
B) had a quick fumble
C) got to know here well
D) Got to know her in ways that would make a FatSimon proud


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:31 pm
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mikewsmith - Member
at this point we need to define relationship, has he

D) Got to know her in ways that would make a FatSimon proud

Boffed her best mate and her mum?


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:32 pm
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Perhaps previous experience should tell your friend that it aint all about looks!


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:33 pm
 hora
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Or E) Kicked her backdoors in SAS-style?


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:34 pm
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[i]Any adult who thinks s/he has any say on what someone else does after only knowing them a month has serious issues IMO[/i]

I agree although there must be something wrong as we never usually agree on most things M_F 😯 😉


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:34 pm
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hora - Member
Or E) Kicked her backdoors in SAS-style?

See? The tags were correct! `


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:41 pm
 hora
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I was trying to resist mentioning it 8)


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:45 pm
 mboy
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Grass is always greener on the other side.

IMO, you won't look twice at another girl if you've really found the one you want to be with. That said, if you don't know that yet, then perhaps it's worth a meet with the 2nd girl?

The way I see it is that whilst looks are important (well IMO you have to fancy a girl rotten before you pluck up the courage to ask her out/buy her a drink or whatever), they are essentially the foot in the door to a relationship, just as a good CV is to getting a new job. The CV could be full of great things about you, but if it's laid out badly, or looks crap, it gets chucked in the bin. The 2nd girl may of course just be a total dud in the personality department too, I have spent many a night eyeing up a girl, working up the bollox to go and chat to her, then when I have done she has had about as much personality as a chair! Of course I have also been pleasantly surprised on a number of times too.


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:46 pm
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[i]as we never usually agree on most things M_F [/i]

Well there you go - it proves it ain't personal 🙂


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:50 pm
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could you tape a picture of the new one to the old ones back as you go out for a bike ride?


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 2:52 pm
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[i]Well there you go - it proves it ain't personal [/i]

lol I know! But how we were that time when we had a 'domestic' - I think we've 'progessed'!


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 3:40 pm
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And we are still talking. We might even kiss and make up. 😉


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 4:04 pm
 hora
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Shoulders mastiles_fanylion out of the way, clears throat and produces acoustic guitar.


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 4:09 pm
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Well, seegin as FoxyChick's still playing hard to get, I shall have to trump Mastiles and Hora....

*Pulls up outside Aleigh's*

[img] [/img]

There's chilled Bollinger 2000 on ice waiting at the hotel, shall we go?


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 4:13 pm
 hora
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Glances across at Cap'n, smiles wistfully to self. Takes a seat casually and starts to play...
.
.
.
.
[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 4:15 pm
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There's always one arse with a geeetaarrrrhhhh


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 4:24 pm
 hora
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The only lad with a guitar that probably doesnt score with chicks is Justin Hawkins from the Darkness 😉


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 4:27 pm
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I'd go for the Car and the Bolly Aleigh. That guitar boy looks like he'd keep wanting to use your curling tongs and exfoliating scrub.


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 4:31 pm
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It's not fair. I could never co-ordinate two hands together when in conjunction with musical instruments.

Anyway, I say fill your boots until one decides to call it a relationship, then make a decision.


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 4:31 pm
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[i]And we are still talking. We might even kiss and make up[/i]

Indeed we might 😉

hora - you can dance and play a guitar.....I am impressed 😆

[i]I'd go for the Car and the Bolly Aleigh. That guitar boy looks like he'd keep wanting to use your curling tongs and exfoliating scrub. [/i]

I only have hair irons thankfully! 😆


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 4:41 pm
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Should I mention that I am pretty ok at guitar - have got a demo EP and everything.

It makes the ladies moist.


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 5:04 pm
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Wow - you and hora should do a duet 😉


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 5:07 pm
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[url= http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/science/article5537017.ece ]Ahem......[/url]

😉


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 5:09 pm
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Well CFH - what can I say 😳


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 5:12 pm
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It makes the ladies moist.

While the thought may be appealing, such declarations and choice of words is sure to counteract any positive outcome.


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 5:18 pm
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maybe I should hold off on my new acoustic cover of "Run to the hills"...


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 5:53 pm
 mboy
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aleigh - Member

Well CFH - what can I say [:oops:]

You're shallow perhaps? 😉


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 6:14 pm
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me shallow - never 😉


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 6:20 pm
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there are many varietys in the sweetshop, how do you know what your favourite is unless you taste them all?

get sucking man


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 7:51 pm
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his new girlfriend is testing him!
he should reply "thank you and hes flattered but is seeing someone he is very fond of currently and he's very happy. if circumstances change due to unforseen circumstances he will contact her back..."


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 7:56 pm
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If his new missus is that untrusting and testing him at the 8 date stage I'd run a ****ing mile, BUNNY BOILER!

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 8:08 pm
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I met my now wife through the Internet. It happens sometime you know...


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 8:50 pm
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It can work - I think.

I met someone on a dating site, we spent 18 months together, had a split a few weeks back and she's back on a dating site - it's f*cking killing me!


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 10:12 pm
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Do the right thing dude and stay with girl 1.


 
Posted : 27/01/2009 10:15 pm