[Closed] Instantly-regrettable argument decision making

Me and Mrs Weeksy had the closest thing we have to an argument last night after a £400 bill for the gas fire. I was going to put it on the CC, but the company don't accept CC payments, so i had to pay it out of my saving account for Spain adventure later in the year.. I was deeply uninspired and bitchy about it apparently....

Forget the porridge mate, you need to find out what's going on with Mrs Stunts (aka Cupid?)

3) Porridge went absolutely everywhere. Everywhere.

The kid had obviously not eaten much of it, why didn't you get her to eat some more before throwing it everywhere?

you need to find out what's going on with Mrs Stunts

^^^^This.

I'm with thepurist here. Something is going on with Mrs Stunts, and you need to have a calm sit-down with her to discuss it.

Any chance of a tete-a-tete after Stunt Jnr has gone to bed this evening?

Whatever you do, be calm and inviting... NOT accusatory.

Good luck!

It probably isn't you. It sounds like Mrs Cupid has some other pressure that's been taken out on you.

I once woke up to a weapons grade bollocking from the Ex for something I had apparently done in her dream.

Funny how sometimes trivial little things affect you more at home than at work isn't it?

Porridge is a killer, when that dries it's harder than cement. They should use it to build houses

Sounds like you just let it all oat.

Young kids = tiredness = frustrations = take out on the ones closest to you.

Sometimes my wife gets frustrated and says things / acts in ways I don't really expect her to towards me. Then I notice she does it to the kids sometimes too so I accept it is just things getting on top of her – we do struggle with one of our girls waking in the night (she is now 7) so my wife never gets a good night's sleep because she finds it difficult to get back off once woken (I generally fall back off again if I am up in the night with her)

The longer you leave it, the worse it will get and she will probably end up forgetting what it was that was annoying her, which will in turn cause her to be more stubborn as does not want to lose face and back down... this is how things go with me anyway. Good luck!

I'm just guessing here, but the request wasn't for a detailed analysis of porridge intake, just for you back her up by telling your kid to eat his/her breakfast.

She's issued an executive order to the kid, you've arrived and starting getting all supreme court-y. Just back her up and don't disagree with her in front of the nipper. Save that for in private when she won't feel like her authority is being undermined.

Then again, Your Marriage Methods May Vary..

The appropriate response is to talk about it later.

I threw the sky remote at the telly a few months ago during a similar "WTF" argument. Not my finest moment, but we now have a new Smart TV, so not all bad!

I can't even remember what the argument was about now.

Completely lost with the Cupid references...? Haven't been on here much recently.

Believe me, I have repeatedly tried to unearth what's causing the problem, to no avail. Suspect stress at work (which she simply doesn't talk about and never has done), as I genuinely haven't done anything wrong, as far as I can tell.

For those concerned about a hungry child, it transpired that she'd eaten quite a lot already.

ended up with a child lol

Sounds like you just let it all oat.

Get out!

😆

I had an ex that could argue black was white. We once had a blazing row - like, to the degree I thought she was going to punch me out - over whether the key to the gas cupboard in the garage was square or triangular.

Completely lost with the Cupid references...?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoonerism

I had an ex that could argue black was white. We once had a blazing row - like, to the degree I thought she was going to punch me out - over whether the key to the gas cupboard in the garage was square or triangular.

trump?

Also check out Kenny Everett on youtube for Cupid Stunt. All in the best possible taste...

Cupid Stunt - the late Kenny Everett -

don't shoot me - just saying

Yep you need to find out what is upsetting her - but choose your moment... very very carefully.

Did she ask why you did it? Why you thought it would be a good idea to throw the bowl into the sink? DO YOU EVER EVEN THINK!!!

Pleased with the explanation of Cupid, hadn't occurred to me before but I'll take that.

I was beginning to fear there'd been another forum user called Cupid who'd been posting earlier about how their husband was a porridge-throwing arsehole.

I remember a similar incident when our youngest was a baby. Stupid argument with my wife, porridge bowl thrown in sink, porridge everywhere.

I'd like to say it was the stress of having young children, it was pressure at work, or it was a bad patch.

But it wasn't. It was because we were fundamentally unsuited as a couple, had irreconcilable differences, and are now much happier apart 😀

LTB

^ +1 LTB

Worn down by a week of hostilities,

Uneaten porridge ain't your problem.

All the best in sorting the root cause. Best done after the tiddlers are in bed.

Remember, the most useful phrase in marriage is "yes dear".

Leather The Bitch ?

Seems excessive... but i'm not one to disagree with a course of action.

Remember, the most useful phrase in marriage is "yes dear".

Not "shut up and blow me" ?

LTB

Learn To Behave?

Lick the Bowl?

Lock the Bathroom?

Hmm, last time I chucked my porridge I seem to remember she got a bit upset.

Launch The Breakfast.

Laconically Talk Back?

Large Tubeless Badger?

I gave a wall a few proper punches in a stupid rage just before Christmas. The wall didn't care but my fist regretted it...

Hmm, last time I chucked my porridge I seem to remember she got a bit upset.

[i]Remember, the most useful phrase in marriage is "yes dear". [/i]

It's banned in our house.

Although I've found a way of saying 'Yes' with an implied 'dear' at the end that I deploy when we're having a full and frank exchange of views.

This irritates her no end apparently. I'm all #innocentface, obvs.

A man realises he's married when he finds out he's on the 4th day of an argument he didn't even know he was having.

I once got a full-on screaming-fit rollocking for NOT sleeping with a girl we both knew some 25yrs back..

Still trying to figure that one out.

johndoh - Member

Hmm, last time I chucked my porridge I seem to remember she got a bit upset.

Not surprising if you did it in the sink....

😆

Sounds very familiar, although it's Mrs P that's the thrower in our household.

Still finding pieces of sweetcorn around the living room from a spat with the kids 3 years ago 😆

Somethings up, talking helps, we generally have weeks like that, normally at this time of year, been good this year though, which makes me worry the spark has gone 😆

+1 for Thepurist, (which I always read as the rapist, but that's not important right now). Exploding like this is a kind of ideal trigger to actually get into the issue- "I did something mental, sorry, here is why"

Rubber_Buccaneer - Member

The kid had obviously not eaten much of it, why didn't you get her to eat some more before throwing it everywhere?

Good parenting this

I get in trouble for things she dreamed I did.

I know it didn't happen.

She knows it didn't happen.

I'm still in the dog house for days.

To my mind - and correct me if I'm wrong -

If you don't mind I'll pass on that. I've just cleaned the place.

You are married... You only do 2 things wrong. Everything that you say and everything that you do.

Lick the Bowl?

You filthy animal. Just flush it like everyone else.

My wife did the same with a pomegranate she was preparing during a phone row with someone. Neither of us could quite believe how spectacular the consequences of that were.... Like something out of CSI

I bought for Mrs North, our daughter and my MIL tickets for the Strictly Come Dancing live show.

My MIL has now come down with a heavy cold and announced she's not going.

Apparently my answer of "I don't particularly want to go as I'd planned to spend the whole day progressing the cabinet building work I want to do in the garage" was very much not the right answer.

In particular she was galled that I would just waste a ticket and not want to spend any time with my family.

Explaining that I had bought the tickets and would, in effect, [i]gladly pay not to go[/i] was an escalation close to the Cuban Missiles crisis.

(And she'll still complain the garage is unusable because there isn't any storage in there....)

Women are irrational, stop trying to figure out why.

When you get a quiet moment ask her what's with the icy witch behaviour. If no rational explanation is forthcoming tell her to stop being unreasonable and sort herself out.

No excuse for anyone acting like a dickhead and don't forget it. Shoe on the other foot you wouldn't expect her to put up with anything similar.

I kicked a kitchen cupboard door (already closed) full force in a moment of frustration following an argument. Needless to say that the door won and I was reminded of my stupidity and the preceding pointless arguement everytime I took a step for the next week!
Genuinely thought I might have broken a bone or something 😳

EDIT: Can't remeber what I supposedly did "wrong" but it was quickly solved with a bunch of flowers (unlike my foot). Sometimes (ie. always) it's easier just to suck it up and apologise where wives are concerned.

She's having an affair. Period.

(or both)

Shoe on the other foot you wouldn't expect her to put up with anything similar.

Moreover, shoe on the other foot and you bloody well wouldn't get away with it.

A while ago the mrs needed some clothes, in an (uncharacteristic) act of generosity I offered her a £50 gift voucher I'd won previously, for reason's I still can't fathom I ended up getting a bollicking for trying to give her 50 quid!!!

It's cos your not riding your bike enough

Also I got voluminous buckets of abuse last weekend when my new old car 'broke down' I was an effing idiot for buying privately, cheaply etc etc. So imagine my delight when after my car was fixed with a new fuel filter, bought and fitted for buttons, Grotbags' luxury egopanzerwagens brake caliper seized on, funking the caliper and disc. She can look forward to the dealership bill for that Sucker! Ha!

augustuswindsock - Member
A while ago the mrs needed some clothes, in an (uncharacteristic) act of generosity I offered her a £50 gift voucher I'd won previously, for reason's I still can't fathom I ended up getting a bollicking for trying to give her 50 quid!!!

because all vouchers, irrespective of who they are for, are for the Wife at the point they are given.. All you have done is with-hold that little right... der..

I had bought the tickets and would, in effect, gladly pay not to go was an escalation close to the Cuban Missiles crisis.

I would rather have a divorce than watch that on the tv never mind live.

Stevestunts , I've just spat tea all over my phone reading your post. I've done so much stupid shit like that over the years also .Usually followed up immediately by me thinking WTF did I do that for . Sorry nothing useful to add in the way of advice 😀

Well, she's home. I'm trying to blindside her by stealing her technique of noisily flouncing around the house and not speaking. Only one of us can do that, and I got there first. She won't have been expecting that. The student has become the master.

Probably worth bookmarking this thread, so you can refer back to it when I start a new one about marriage breakups in a few weeks time...

Best of luck OP!

Is there still time to nip out for a box of Milk Tray, a bunch of daffs a £3 bottle of warm prosecco and a Chippendales (no, not the silly glasses) outfit?

I'm sure that will work.

An affair...either she is having it and now can't stand you or she has found out you are and she hasn't got the proper explosive rage moment.

(sorry to sound severe but experience suggests this - hopefully it isn't)

Muddydwarf you got the trouble as she DID sleep with someone else thinking it was revenge for what you did...as you didn't, she was in the wrong...and you got it in the neck.

Me: "Of course I'm not going to buy ANOTHER bike!"

Her: ....

Maybe she's pregnant........

......with another man's baby.

noisily flouncing around the house and not speaking.

Creep up behind her and put your penis in her ear.

It won't make things better, but...

...

Well, just put your penis in her ear.

And shout wet willy as you do it.....

joebristol - Member
Maybe she's pregnant........

km79 - Member
......with another man's baby.

Again!! 😯

Just been shouted at for not buying daffodils. Now regretting no asking why she didn't marry a ****ing psychic bastard florist.

Pub? (I'll be coming in to town to buy daffodils anyway)

@ the OP. Like many blokes I remember feeling that it was particularly important for me to really emphasise my point in an argument by shouting and then by slamming the door very hard. In retrospect it's easy to think that some of that emphasis may have been lost by accidentally leaving my foot in the way... Not a pain I want to feel again.

Just been shouted at for not buying daffodils.

She sounds like a narcissust.

😀

Any news from the op? Did you get it sorted?

Or are you out finishing your new patio?

I'm trying to blindside her by stealing her technique of noisily flouncing around the house and not speaking. Only one of us can do that, and I got there first

This made me chuckle 😆 So if she starts doing it too, is it OK to stop mid-flounce and explain that only one person can do it at a time before resuming?

 I genuinely haven't done anything wrong, as far as I can tell.

There will always be something 😉

No matter how small or insignificant that thing is it will always be there to be used as an excuse for them to behave like a complete **** 😆

At risk of trying to get beyond the stock 1970s

Eeeh women, eh?

responses 😀

Contempt is completely destructive to a relationship.

It is reasonable for people to expect to be treated with respect by their partners. We do not have to put up with The Silent Treatment for hours/days/weeks. It's borderline abusive.

If there's a problem, she should tell you what it is in a civilised manner, and you should respond in a civilised manner.

Once you've got to the stage of chucking stuff around in front of the kids, it's probably time for a deep breath and a chat 😉

I can't believe you wasted good porridge, no wonder she was annoyed 👿

This weekend I learned the appropriate response to [i]'I just want you to see my point of view'[/i] is not [i]'I can't see your point of view because you are wrong' [/i] 😳 😆

I genuinely haven't done anything wrong, as far as I can tell.

That's were you are going wrong. A good husband would know; and maybe even care.

Immediately apologise and ask what you can do to make it better. She might give you some clues to help you not do it again.

I can't see your point of view because you are wrong

My version was "I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong".

I am still paying for this 20 years later.

Now I'm in trouble for s****ing at this loudly enough to wake MrsZ.