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Tomorrow we have to collect the keys to our holiday home from Mr J. Bastard.
Surely over the centuries your family would have adapted the name or just completely changed it? Would a lady willingly take it as a married name?
Maybe he's a badass biker and changed his name to it, all very odd.
As one with a thoroughly fnar fnar name, I found it just easier to own it, hence happy to be known as Dick *******, although both my son & nephew have taken on their respective wives surnames.
Sounds like a lucky guy.
I’m assuming his first name is Jamie.
Surely over the centuries your family would have adapted the name or just completely changed it?
I used to have a landlord called Mr Fear.
i payed my rent on time.
Friend of my mum has surname ****t daughter in law refused to take it as her married name.
Ah swear filter: tango whisky alpha tango.
Nah just claim Nominative determinism
Holiday home. Are you in France OP?
Think there's quite a few over there. No I'm not being anti French, it's a fairly common name there, or at least not uncommon.
I’d change my first name to Robin
I found it just easier to own it
^^Yup,although some parents do have a lot to answer for.
I seem to recall a local pensioner on the claimant books at the benefit office when I first started work called Fanny Stains.
Theres a guy where I work, last name Hitler. Apparently its quite common in his cultural homeland
I've served with a Corporal Sergeant, and a Sergeant Sergeant, oh and a Captain Major and a Major Major.
Much japes.
Sergeant Sergeant
Major Major
some parents do have a lot to answer for.
I was once interviewed by a guy called Martin Martin
There was a guy in my line of work whose last name was F***. I can't imagine how wearing it must have been day after day to deal with the "jokes".
(In case you think I'm making this up ... https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=YCXNCKoAAAAJ&hl=en )
I followed that link and a prominent collaborator and coauthor appears to be I Tsvankin which if I affect a daft slavic accent for sounds like "I is v**nking" which must put cold callers off when they answer the phone. "Should I wait for you to finish, or do you want me to call back?"
Not rude but I knew a lady called Ceri who married a man called Oakey and insisted on double barreling their name to avoid being required to sing each time she was introduced to someone.
Hitler. Apparently its quite common in his cultural homeland
Where was his homeland?!
At school we had Mr A Nuss and his wife Mrs P Nuss.
They were both french teachers from France.
I used to work with Michael Nobbs. Actually a great guy.
I once worked a case with a family with the surname Soggi. Child named Kuntal. Culturally not an issue, not so great in the UK.
Many people don't believe me, till one day I told was telling the tale and and someone confirmed it - they had been a TA at his primary school and they had suggested to his parents his name should be changed before he went to secondary school.
Must be common taught Angus and Peter Ness. Appeared on the register as initial and surname.
@somafunk might remember Mr Ivor Waddle from school.
A mate's dad had a work colleague with the surname 'Glascock.' I remember we once did a Bart style phone call, ringing him up and asking him if he had crystal balls. Oh how we laughed.
I have a top tier hilarious surname. Similar but not quite the same to the surname above.
Watching someone writing down details then dropping the surname on them is hilarious.
Also hearing them try to pronounce their way out of it is even funnier.
For those who might have an inkling... I had a girlfriend with the surname Pheely which would have made literally the best double barrelled name going.
A school friend by the name of M. Seamens was accosted by the constabulary whilst smoking something illegal in a park when we were about 15. When he told th he lived at 1 Tinkle Street they didn't believe him...but it was true.
I've come across an Emma Royds.
And it was her married name, she chose it🙈
I used to work for a company that maintained shareholder details (so, legal documents, not something you can take the piss on.)
Chris P Bacon
a Mr Shaw-Twilley
Seema Butt
Mrs (!) Fanny Gash
Worked somewhere once with residents called Ivor Cox and Fanny Mullet
At school we had Mr A Nuss and his wife Mrs P Nuss.
They were both french teachers from France.
School across the road from us had a French teacher who had married the headmaster, a Mr Pipe, she therefore became became Madame Pipe (French slang for a BJ). My how we chuckled 🙂
Friend of my mum has surname ****t daughter in law refused to take it as her married name.
Ah swear filter: tango whisky alpha tango.
I worked with both halves of a couple where she flat refused to take his name for similar reasons, so they both took hers. His family apparently took it really badly and his parents wouldn’t come to the wedding.
Mrs RBIT barely uses her married name so I am unclear what the fuss was about.
We had a doctor dayath in a french hospital. That's how he pronounced it.
It was spelt dr death.
O how we laughed, my ill mate not so.
My wife worked in a law firm.
There was a married couple who worked there, Mr and Mrs Down...
Their sons names? Ben and Neil.
They were not the most laugh-a-minute types.
I worked with a teacher called Joe King. He never seemed very happy about it!
I also taught a girl named Ikea. I thought it was a joke, but when I read it out on the register she just said "here", no one laughed or reacted. I never plucked up the courage to ask why
I've served with a Corporal Sergeant, and a Sergeant Sergeant, oh and a Captain Major and a Major Major.
Much japes.
Weren't you in Catch 22? 😉
I know someone born post war called Adolf. A Fanny but that's not unusal in these parts. A doctor with Lanusse as a surname. A Grandvillain (which translates to big nasty and he's a nice guy). Someone with Monsieur as a surname so Monsieur Monsieur. A dentist called Machet. A lumberjack called Dubois.
We had a doctor dayath in a french hospital. That's how he pronounced it.
It was spelt dr death.
Usually spelt D’ath, I think.
My very first thought on starting to read through this thread was Alan B’Stard in New Statesman!
I have a friend with the surname Crapp.
Never met him, but on my former company's phone list there was a Raoul Acosta.
Usually spelt D’ath, I think.
We had a a Mr De'Ath as a customer once. It'd been entered on the system without the apostrophe, so we'd go "is that mister death?" and he was properly oversensitive about it. So he'd explode, we'd apologise profusely and promise to have it updated.
He had more chance of growing a second willy than us actually getting his details changed, it was too funny.
He sounds like a dick Cougar.
You have to lean into it, in his cas ei would go for
SPEAKING IN CAPITALS.
I had a kid in my tutor group I taught at one time with the surname 'Bumstead'. The parents decided that that alone was not distinctive enough so called him 'Fletcher'. Imagine being 'Fletcher Bumstead' aged 13 in the early noughties- it's almost Dickensian. To be fair he was a cheeky little sod and wore the name well.
For the purposes of this post I just googled him and he seems to be doing really well for himself; chuffed for him. AND.....he looks like he's a proper handy mountain biker. He might even be a contributor here, though to be honest he looks a bit too cool for that!
In once knew an Icelandic chap who however you tried to pronounce his name it came out sounding like 'Hitler', watching the faces of people he was introduced to for the first time was a source of continual amusement, which was aided by the fact that he was 6.5" and appeared like he could have arrived via a longboat...
I worked at a security company with A Lock, A Fox, A Pyle and A Plank.
One of my friends took his wife’s name as he didn’t like Pratt, so now it’s Wayne Conner. I suggested they used both names, but apparently Wayne Conner Pratt sounds rude?
Dad worked with a lady called Hazel Nutts.
Had a pal called Steve Kerr known globally at Jaun.
I worked at a security company with A Lock, A Fox, A Pyle and A Plank.
I bumped into an old friend I hadn't seen for a few years. Said friend is a little below average height and somewhat above average girth. I asked where he was working these days, he replied "Chubb, and don't you ****ing start .."
There was an American congressman called Randy Bumgardener (I believe it was spelled Baumgartner but most Americans (including himself) couldn't pronounce that. The best ones that I have personally seen was Iona Mott and Mr C. Hickens.
Yep, we had a Claire Hicken at work too. chicken@#####.co.uk at that time
We used this text book in school. The authors name always raised a smile
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Living-Things-V-Slaughter/dp/0713104163
Had a mate in high school called Robert Fish. He absolutely hated his surname, took his mothers maiden name as soon as he could legally change.
Had another mate called Tony Blair, which was funny for a completely different reason
Not mates with them but in my area growing up there was a lad with the second name Brownsword and also a girl whose name was Tracey Toplass.
A UK-based person in the organisation I work for has the surname which, in the phonetic alphabet, would be kilo uniform november tango.
Michael Hunt was in our Sixth Form. Never shortened. He was the brother of one of my friends. What were his parents thinking. And it’s not an uncommon name either.
I knew both a Heather Gardner and a Tom Dick
I knew both a Heather Gardner and a Tom Dick
I hope you manage to get Tom Dick to meet your friend Harry
I once worked with a guy called Dick, he had an older brother Tom, and a younger brother called Harry.
Apparently it was quite common in the 50s.
I absolutely thought i was being wound up, but I asked him and he told me himself.
I was at uni with a girl named Ivanka Majic
Also
My wife used to work with a guy who's last name was (we'll still is) Batman.
Wife's mum was doing the family tree and found old relatives, a couple, called Dick and Fanny!
We had an M. A. ****er at my last employer, I was disappointed when she got married.
My dad grew up with a Richard Dick, and my dad's uncle was a Richard Head. A big man in the Texas oil fields. Only time I met him he was wearing white cowboy boots, white suit and a white Stetson. He bought me a train set.
He was brought up in the east end of London...
I've recently started working with some one whose name is pronounced Sad Facker.
My wife used to work with a guy who's last name was (we'll still is) Batman.
Now that would be cool in a meeting when doing the round table introduction....
Worked with an Icelandic engineer called Frank Frankson, and a QS call A Cockburn....
Ive worked with 2 guys with the surname Love. Mr Love.
What a wasted opportunity. If i had that surname it would be my dying mission to get a PhD.
I met a Doctor Love once, IIRC at the time he worked for Sheffield Hallam University.
My wife used to work with a guy who's last name was (we'll still is) Batman.
Now that would be cool in a meeting when doing the round table introduction....
Worked with an Icelandic engineer called Frank Frankson, and a QS call A Cockburn....
Cockburn is coburn though innit.
Where as in my name... Cock is cock 🤣
I belonged to a sailing club, the Commodore was a chap called Peter Ennis. I also worked briefly in a company selling electronic components. I had to deal with Siemans who were headquartered in Staines. They still are AFAIK
I had to give advice about where to go to university, to a chap called Ragina Sexwhale. I got through the call but all I wanted to recommend was "study in a non english speaking country"
He went to Aberdeen in the end, so, not so far off.
There was a garage where I grew up owned by a G. Eric Hunt.
Was discussing amusing names recently, friends know someone called Dick Burns
he’s in the forces and has risen to the rank of Major
Three sister at my school, daughters of a rather evangelical American RE teacher.
Faith, Hope and......Heather.
I belonged to a sailing club, the Commodore was a chap called Peter Ennis. I also worked briefly in a company selling electronic components. I had to deal with Siemans who were headquartered in Staines. They still are AFAIK
I cycle with a Peter Ennis. He's a secondary school teacher.
Only remembered this last night. Spoke with a mate of mine (who's a lawyer in NYC) who does pro bono work for homeless and folks who can't afford a lawyer, and he helped a guy who was up on pimping charges who introduced himself to my mate as Barrons Nasdaq, as he thought it sounded classy, and was more likely to go down better with the judge.
Reader; it did not go down better with the judge.
I was sat in a full meeting room a few years ago. "Who are we still waiting for?" someone asked "Sean McAnerney" someone else replied.
Then someone got up to go get 3 more chairs.
Not mine, but a mate's best friend at school was called Steven Smell, and he changed his name to his mother's maiden name after being sick of being called Smelly.
For the rest of his school days he was Smelly Bennett
Worked with an Icelandic engineer called Frank Frankson,I have Ulf Ulfsson, Magnus Magnusson, Kjell Kjellson (and a Kjell Kjellander). Probably more that i've forgotten about...
And one pair Ulf Magnusson and Magnus Ulfsson, who sat opposite each other, doing the same job for the same department on two different programs. And i worked with both of them. Many times i spoke to one of them about the wrong program...
Mate’s dad was Michael Hunt, he nearly called his son Isaac until someone pointed out the obvious. Called him Warwick instead!
Worked with an Icelandic engineer called Frank Frankson,
I have Ulf Ulfsson, Magnus Magnusson, Kjell Kjellson (and a Kjell Kjellander). Probably more that i've forgotten about...
Isn't "son of" wildly common, as first names were handed down as surnames? Like the Scottish Mac, the Irish O' etc. Dave Sonofdave sounds weird to English ears but not all territories have the same structure.
I wonder, is there an equivalent "daughter of"? Margret Margretslass?
I wonder, is there an equivalent "daughter of"? Margret Margretslass?
Not sure if it follows the maternal line, but Magnusdottir (sp?) is the female version iirc.
BBC News - What life is like when you have an unfortunate surname
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cql7eennngvo