[Closed] I think I'm about to be diagnosed with cancer, and I'm fairly scared.

i've just come home after being in for three nights as the chemo knocked my immune system for six and i got a cold or something.
you have as much chance as anyone of beating it and coming out the other side. that's what i tell myself everyday and i work towards that. the strength and fitness will drop off but they can be worked on after the treatment and they will hold you in good stead initially as you'll be more resilient as you start your treatment.
it's sh*t, really sh*t, but every time i go to hospital there's someone worse off than me and usually they show amazing courage and humour. it's a humbling experience the love and best wishes you get from strangers is a strength and they do it without concious effort.
megan i can't imagine what you're going through as my wonderful wife is going through the same and being incredibly strong. but i'm sure there's hurt going on and an inner turmoil, like others have said it's almost easier being the patient.
i wish you all the luck that i've had so far and it's a sincere offer of getting in touch if you want. i understand if you don't. the blog for me has been excellent and very cathartic being able to down load my head. it also allows friends and family to see how you're doing.
best wishes
nick

I read the earlier update and was gutted for you, but your attitude is amazing and just what's needed to kick this thing into touch. I can imagine what a blow it was to be told - even when you're expecting it, it still comes as such a shock. In our experience once the diagnosis was given the treatment followed very quickly so you can really get on and attack it. Like so many others have said, if you (or Meg, moreso) need to talk or have any questions, please mail me - my address is in my profile. I don't have any big answers but I do know how much it helps to be able to get those words out of your head sometimes. Bon courage, my friends...

It's a horrible experience, Mrs P had a type of cancer a couple of years ago so I know where you're at and you have my deepest sympathy.

We found that it was a slow descent into hell up to the point that treatment started (chemo in her case), just one bad bit of news following another. Every time we thought we'd got the whole picture, something else cropped up, although oddly it never entered either of our minds that she might actually die. The nadir of this coincided with the doctors finally ascertaining the full extent of the disease, which I don't think is a coincidence at all: knowledge is power - in understanding what's happening and what to expect you retain some element of control and that's crucially important to your morale. Thereafter the treatment kicks in, results start to turn around and you dig in for the long haul.

We did a lot of research about both the cancer and the treatment which meant we could question the doctors, knew how to and where to go for second opinions, what was likely to happen next, recovery chances at various stages of treatment, etc. Never shy away from asking the difficult questions, or facing up to the unpleasant facts - better to know what to expect and prepare for it than to worry yourself silly for the want of a well-directed question.

Once we got past the "point of sale" NHS the cancer docs were without exception excellent but they're still fallible - they're busy people, certainly not bad people, and unfotunately busy people can and do make mistakes or sometimes miss things. You are effectively competing with many other patients for a scarce resource - unpleasant as it may sound it is nothing less than a battle for survival and a passive approach won't help. I was always questioning this that and the other, and I'm on none of their Xmas card lists as a consequence, but the ends justify the means - treatments that might have been postponed went ahead, scans that "couldn't be fitted in today" got done, etc. and she made a full recovery. We had a lot of support from our families and employers too, which was crucial.

We figured that it was all about tipping the odds in our favour - if the odds are 60:40, how do you make sure you're in the 60? What did the 60 do that the 40 didn't? It's not all down to luck although that's certainly a factor... to paraphrase Gary Player, the harder you work, the luckier you get. Believe that, and don't put off - or allow to be put off - until tomorrow what can be done today.

I like the idea, that others here have suggested, of writing stuff down. I never needed to because I've got a retentive memory, but I can see that it could really work for others. Also have a read of Lance Armstrong's book, it'll have you in floods of tears but if attitude has any bearing at all on the outcome then I reckon it's the blueprint for beating cancer.

I wish you the very best

You two stay strong and together, all my thoughts and love are with you,
Drillski

My daughter was three when she was diagnosed with agressive malignent wilms tumour. Her survival chances dipped to 5-10% when she developed secondarys and she endured some horrendous infections but she is now a bright bubbly happy go lucky 20 year old.
My theory for survival is; no self pity (she didnt know how to) and a positive support from those who are close, the power of positive thinking can never everbe under estimated, I was asked more than once 'Daddy will I die?' My answer was always without a hint of doubt in my mind 'No you wont I will not let you!' and a diet through a long year of treatment every day of one meal consisting of broccoli, chicken breast and boiled or mashed potatoes and carrotts with gravy. Alas some of the kids that were 'pampered' and given McDonlads as they wouldnt eat their proper food in my opinion seemed to be the ones that didnt pull through.
It is great to have such a great support network of people that you but also Meg can talk to and dont be afraid to use the people that have offered it. May I wish you a speedy recovery and many happy healthy years ahead, and I agree Lance's book is inspirational.

mark & meg, sorry to hear the diagnosis. as you will already know from the messages you are receiving on here that we are all watching this thread like hawks, everyone is rooting for you and hoping with the strength that you are showing that you get through the other side. By the sounds of your messages you are a real tough cookie and you will give this mofo a good scrap keep strong and all the best from, gazman and family.

Suggsey,

You're so right, PMA is so powerful. As per my previous post, my son was too young to contemplate anything negative - at one point when he was in a serious amount of pain he turned to me and said "...it's alright Daddy, all children hurt like this too, it will get better soon..." It nearly dropped me and even though my brain was saying "no Son actually they don't" in a self pittying way, I just smiled and agreed with him.

One day he will realise that he has been through something different, but at the time he could only think positively and combined with brilliant care from the NHS, an amazing Consultant, and us feeding him the healthiest food possible, he's as right as rain now.

Mark & Meg, it's not going to be easy, but you can 'do' it. Keep thinking of all the positive energy coming your way from here on STW. Keep us all informed and we'll all help you crack it.

Stu.

Only really read through this thread tonight.
All I can say is my thoughs go out to you and Meg. Your attitude to the diagnosis is truly great and I hope you do nail this mofo.

I remeber whem my dad was taken into hospital for tests and a biopsy on his kidney and the feeling was crap. He was lucky and given the all clear - I can't imagine what you guys must be feeling after the news

Stay strong and all the best

Tom

Sorry to here the bad news I wish you the best of luck in fighting it.

@Mark - you can beat it and you need to push to get referred to a unit that specialises in your particular cancer. My wife was diagnosed with CML (a chronic blood cancer) in 2005 and before Glivec the outcome was almost always poor, now there is an array of treatments which manage and possibly cure the condition. The same is happening with other cancers and the more you understand the better you can manage getting an effective treatment and access to advanced drug treatments.

Stamp your feet, shout and do whatever is needed as there is a cure out there waiting to be found.

@Meg - I know what you are going through - always remember that others are there to help you, provide information, support or just a hug. The internet is a powerful tool which can provide a lot of support and information - both my wife and I have gained a lot from being able to exchange information with the growing number of worldwide survivors of CML.

T

Really sorry to hear your news. Now you can stop worrying about the if's, buts and maybes and have a clear target to aim at. Your straightforward attitude, physical condition and family support network are going to help you beat it.

I have the Armstrong book here, mail in profile. If you want it I'll post it tomorrow.

All the best you two, from what I've heard you sound like you have the perfect attitude to get through this and I wish you the best of luck.

Keep Strong
🙂

Jeez - have been watching this post for a bit now. Stomach dropped when I read your recent updates. Bit lost for words.

It's pretty obvious that your situation is weighing heavily on STW minds.

Best wishes and keep us posted.

Best of luck to both of you. Have been through it with a couple of close family members and it really can get impossibly hard at times, but just keep positive and as already said, don't be scared about making a nuisance of yourself at the hospital. The staff are all generally amazing people who do I job I couldn't even begin to imagine doing, but they are invariably over stretched and under resourced so keep on at them.

Best wishes to you both, I know you can get through this and come out the other side.

Just briefly, one of our neighbours was diagnosed with (lymph?) cancer a couple of years ago. After the first few weeks she was given little chance of making it, and (I hate to say this) the way she looked at that time illustrated exactly that. However, over the next 3-6 months, with a lot of support, especially from her partner who was an absolute rock, she made a complete transformation. And by the summer she was pretty much her normal self. That was a year ago now, and she's looked the 'picture of perfect health' ever since. And I'd also say she's one of the happiest and most grounded people I know too.

Keep your chin up and you too will beat this.

SM

Mark and Meg

Just wanted to wish you both the best and Mark please beat this damn thing.
I wish my Dad had your attitude.
Stay strong and positive.

Andy

I'm so sorry to hear your news Mark.

I am in awe of your strength and that of your partner Megan, you have the will, you have the strength.
Please, never forget that.

petesgaff - Member

I intend to nail this mofo to the floor........

Too right you will ...... because [i]now[/i], apart from anything else ..... you owe it to STW to do just that ! 😉

I can't add much to what's already been said, other than to remind you that whilst it is of course always important to listen to what your doctors tell you, they are clearly not infallible nor able to predict the future. So whilst the prognosis [i]might[/i] not sound good, none of us knows what the future holds.

As has already been pointed out (as if we didn't already know !) time and again the predictions of doctors have proved to be wrong - as indeed some of the examples others have given, shows.

In my case, I can give you the example of a close friend of mine who was diagnosed with very advanced breast cancer. After receiving pretty extensive treatment, she was told by her doctors that there was nothing much more that they could do for her. "My body is f*cked", was how she put it to me. It really did my head in to hear her say that, and in fact contributed to me descending into a bout of depression. That was about 15 years ago now ! And I understand that because if the period of time in which she was in remission, she is now officially 'cured'.

As I've said in a previous post Mark, concentrate on the present, live for today, none of us knows what the future holds - that's a bit of Buddhist philosophy taught to me by my Chinese friend/traditional doctor/martial arts teacher 🙂 And something which I remind my ageing mother as she worries about her own mortality. And btw, maybe it will help you during these difficult times to get more in touch with your 'spiritual side'. It's something which we all have - whatever our beliefs. Although it's also something which we often ignore as we rush around worrying, in this material world.

Good luck 8)

[img] [/img]

The only way to go......................you're both in my thoughts.

Hi

hope you are both doing ok, got a good book for you if you want it?

On the subject of spirtualism I am usually pretty sceptical tbh, but I was given a really good book a couple of years ago, its by a buddhist philosopher Thich Nhat Hanh.

It might not be your cup of tea, (breaks up the stephen king on my book shelf nicely tho) but if you fancy it let me know your address and I'll stick it in the post.

laura.pell1@ntlworld.com

Have been following your updates for the last couple of days, but haven't posted as I felt a "best of luck" was really a bit on the lame side.

My thoughts are with both of you and although a lot of you don't believe in this stuff you're in my prayers.

@ Meg - I think what you're doing is fantastic, I have known people who in similar situations have thrown up their hands and walked away because they couldn't cope.

Again all the best for both of you, you seem like a really strong couple and will support each other. x

tink

Very best wishes, Mark & Megan. Can't add anything to what's been said above, just make sure you beat it.

You're right though, feeling guilty for being ill is irrational, but I reckon we would all do exactly the same.

Stay with it.

I felt really down when I saw your update OP - I'm so sorry this is happening. Then I read this:

[i]I intend to nail this mofo to the floor, or at least go out kicking, screaming[/i]

God bless you mate; kick it's @rse!

Dude

I've been there (twice). But I'm not going to say I know what your going through cos its different for everyone. I had testicular when I was 21 and then a few years later they found aonther tumar in my left lung. No Chemo first time, but had it second time, nasty stuff. I trough up that hard one afternoon that I burst the blood vessel in my eye, looked like I was crying blood for months. Took me 2 years to eat tomatos again (no idea why).

Its a really tough time (understatement) for you and those around you (looking back it was probably harder on my family than it was on me). You sound like you have the right attidue (although sometime you feel like it).

All I want to say is I'm going to be 40 next year and have 3 wonderful children.

Good luck mate. If you ever need to talk to someone drop me a line.

I've managed to get the Radiographer to agree to let me out for a couple of hours, whilst they wait for the isotope to make its way around my bones so that they canlook at the full extent of the problem.

My old man came around yesterday and had what can only be described as a meltdown in a very short period of time. I tried to make him see that I need to be the primary focus (which feels both selfish and uncomfortable) during the whole thing, and rowed and he left and hasn't spoken to me since. At the moment I simply can't afford to be concerned with how other people feel, but that racks me with guilt. I think this is something I need to get over pretty soon, because I cannot let it detract from my working on the 'getting better'. Does this make sense?

Last night was the worst I've had in hospital. I couldn't sleep, and just kept thinking the worst, which is pretty unusual for me. Many of you have commented on my strength, and how amazingly I seem to be coping. Don't believe it - I'm a bloody chartlatan. My problem is that, if I don't believe that I'm going to get better, I'm not sure I will. I feel like a coward at the moment, hiding my real fears from those that are most important to me to stop them worrying.

I'm not even that likable a chap; really! I'm a surly, self-righteous, cocky difficult bastard. My other half is (quite frankly) the greatest person I've ever met, and she's the only one that knows what I can be like. There is no way I could even attempt this without her, full stop. So please, all praise should be directed at her, not me.

Hopefully they'll find something later on, and Meg will be able to update you all. I feel that I probably couldn't cope without you lot as well, so a humble thank you to all over you that have taken time out to read and comment.

Mark

you don't need to be nice Mark, you need to fight

be selfish, its you with the phuckin war on your hands

you can be nice when you're in remission

one day at a time, do everything you need to do that day, it sounds like you have an awesome support in Meg

My GF has had a nightmare fight with leukaemia, but she's still going, coma and all

good luck

Thoughts and prayers are with you both at this difficult time. Stay strong both and 'nail that mofo' together!

Your in my thoughts and prayers Mark.

Stay strong and fight the fight.

God bless.

Mark - ~If ever there is a time to be selfish this is it. Dont worry about treading on people's toes or pissing folk off, you have very right to do that. The complements about strength are based on the openness and frankness with which you are dealing with this.

My thoughts are with you!

Wow! Loads of inspirational tales / people coming out in this thread. Just wanted to add my voice really.

Mark and Meg,
I can't even begin to start understanding how either of you are feeling.
All I can say is be brave and stick together. The best of wishes to you both.
Tom

Mike and Meg,

I know nothing about cancer personally but all I can say is good luck to you both. Be a stubborn git and don't be scared about upsetting anyone as they only really care that you get better - mike_p's post seems like the way to approach it:

We figured that it was all about tipping the odds in our favour - if the odds are 60:40, how do you make sure you're in the 60? What did the 60 do that the 40 didn't? It's not all down to luck although that's certainly a factor... to paraphrase Gary Player, the harder you work, the luckier you get. Believe that, and don't put off - or allow to be put off - until tomorrow what can be done today.

As Ernie says, [i]Be Here Now.[/i]

Fight like ****, pal. Fingers crossed for you.

"I'm not even that likable a chap; really! I'm a surly, self-righteous, cocky difficult bastard."

Sounds perfectly normal for on here then.

Good luck you surly cocky bastard.

Mark

Sorry to hear that you had a row with your old man, to be honest mate he'll get over it. You need to be positive & concentrate all your thoughts & energy on beating this illness. You don't want/need to be worrying about an upset parent.

I know where you are coming from with fearing the worse at this stage. The journey you are now going through is full of highs & deep lows, exactly the same thing happened to me earlier this year during my fight with Cancer too. I always thought that I was a switched on level headed kind of bloke but when one minute I was happy as Larry & then breaking down & crying like a baby the next it was very scary. I was lucky in that I was able to talk to some guys off STW who had also been through this & they told me that this was 'normal' for the emotional roller-coaster you are now riding. It’s not an easy journey but it is one that you can win – you cocky surly b*stard 😉

As has already been said take it one day at a time, keep yourself occupied & don’t dwell on matters, don’t put off those things which you can do today, set yourself small but achieveable goals, don’t bottle things up, speak to people & share your hopes & fears, be strong, be positive & be focused on your future together with Meg.

Good luck mate & I hope to catch up someday on a ‘petesgaff/Mark & Meg STW ride’

You're Dad needs to realise you are in difficulty.

Don't worry, focus on getting better then you can help save the world 😆

Good luck and keep posting!

I'm sure your dad will come around, everybody deals with things differently. The most important thing is you and Meg being strong but honest and open with each other.

Good luck mate & I hope to catch up someday on a ‘petesgaff/Mark & Meg STW ride’

the very very best to you

Good luck both of you, and as other people have said, don't worry about your dad's reaction.

I was Googling for wooden mudguards (!) the other day and came across [url= http://www.fastboycycles.com/teachingcancertocry/?m=200808&paged=3 ]this guy's blog[/url]. It details the highs and lows of his cancer treatment and he seems to have a similar attitude to you, maybe worth a read once things have calmed down a bit.

I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. I'm hughely impressed with your attitude to it all. It reminds me of Dylan Thomas - Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And I think poetry is gay 🙂

I really want you to beat this one which means screwing everyone else and being seriously selfish.
Oh and do the lottery on Saturday.. karma monkeys owe you big time!

Your Dad has taken this news badly. He has to realise that you need to save all your energy and time (as you said yourself) on you.
I stress it is not being selfish.

Pick out the friends that you can be honest with, do not be frightened of crying or having a hissy fit. Just do whatever you have to, to get yourself through this. The rest will fall into place.

My thoughts are with you and Meg. xx

Strength and courage.

Hi Mark, Rich again,

One thing you can't worry about is how your mood will be interpreted by others. Your father will soon realise that it is you who has the gun to the head not him. I know it is hard, and during treatment I was always wondering whether I should be aplogising if I got stressed or wanted to smash the container with the days 40+ pills etc. It is hard enough trying to cope with your own feelings let alone being too carefull with everyone elses. Obviously, this has it's limit, I hope I wasn't a constant pain in the arse during the whole episode and all my family and friends said that I remained remarkably strong and upbeat most of the time, and from what I can tell (I know I don't know you at all) you seem to be ready for the fight and taking it in good spirits. I cannot tell you how much it helps to remain positive. Sometimes people who say things like that make it sound overly spiritual or whatever, but I simply mean that it really helped me to feel physically stronger and able to cope with the treatment if I was able to keep positive in all other areas of my life, making sure I still had a lot of fun with friends etc etc...

I like to think I was a fairly likable chap before my diagnosis, but I know for a fact that after it was all over, I was a lot more rounded as an individual. I don't stress over minor things any more, I find it much easier to relax and appreciate everything that I have, material or otherwise. I value all my relationships more, I am still rubbish at keeping in touch with all my friends, but much better than I was!

Life now just seems much simpler. I have even had comments from new people I have met at parties or out in town saying to friends of mine "is that guy some sort of Buddha or something? - He's so chilled and calm and really listens when you talk to him"!! - Not trying to blow my own trumpet here...just wanted to show how despite having a similarly bleak position as yours (Mets on my lungs and secondary tumors all over the place...) I came out the other side, and truly believe I am a better person because of it.

There, hope that didn't sound too "alternative therapy" for you, just wanted to let you know a little of what it's like when you get to the other side, and I for one am positive you can do it.....smash that f**cker into the ground!

All the best Mark,

Rich

Your fighting spirit is inspiring. Wish you all the best, keep fighting.

I d like to wish you and Megan the very best of luck with this.
Please stay positive!
Best wishes
Lee

Keep fighting both of you.

Remember that being strong isn't about being strong and in control all of the time, it's about rolling with the punches that sometimes seem like they're going to knock you down, crying and screaming and then picking yourself up and fighting the next battle.

And remember this forum full of argumentative geeks is right behind you!

The posts on here have been amazing! Just to give some more hope, My lovely Aunt who is only 43 got diagnosed with advanced bowel cancer last year. We all cried and asked why? how? WTF? It all looked pretty bleak and she had a terrible reaction to Chemo including a heart attack and treatment was abandoned. Things got pretty desperate...
3 days ago she got the all clear, amazing, she had a bit of surgery to remove stuff and rejoin things and lots of prayer and love. They thought she had a secondary, turned out not so. you will prevail over this.
Much Love x

Thoughts and prayers are with you all anyone can say is good luck and think positive.

slightly speechless.

i hope you receive the treatment to help you get better and i agree that a positive mind is the best medicine avainable to you.

my thoughts are with you both. your old man will come round. he's probably in shock, like the rest of us.

take care, take it easy and think of the good things in life.

Jay.

Sorry to hear the diagnosis was positive,and that is what you need to be.I think its good you are so fit and healthy as you will need this strength for the future,your cancer will take most of it out of you,You must eat and try to keep fit.
you are obviously strong minded,this is another major swing in you're favour.

My father beat Hodgkins lymphoma,this is possibly the worst kind ,my family believes it was his sheer bloody mindedness helped him through more than anything,he is 67 and beat it when he was 61,and i wouldnt say he was that fit.
Not as fit as a mad mountain biking PE teacher 😆

Your Fathers reaction is very understandable,but you must force the issue and go and make contact,you do not want to have anything going on in the background,as you will need to stay focused.
Best of luck

loads of people handle the news in different ways. my mum had breast cancer so felt guilty and thought (completely illogically) that she'd passed it on to me. i know i have man boobs but thats a bit harsh. someone else i know of his wife didn't speak about the cancer at all all the way through his treatment!
dyna ti is right as in you don't need extra sh*t to carry around emotionally. try talking to your dad, if it doesn't work put that part of life on pause (as with so much more) and pick it up after the journey. you may not have the emotional energy, keep your love and smiles for meg. she'll be the one that is there when you feel cr*p, when you're knackered, when you're struggling. make sure you tell her how much you love her and keep some smiles and laughter for her, she'll deserve it the most.

I'm a surly, self-righteous, cocky difficult bastard.

STW definitely needs you then - don't let us down!

Mark,

I lost my dad last week to cancer so like many on here, know how your family is feeling at being told that someone they love has this disease. He was diagnosed with terminal cancer and was given 3 months. That was 5 1/2 years ago.

You get your head round this and you fight it. I know its hard to do but grab it by the horns and give it what for. Your family will be there for you, rows and all because your you and they love you for it.

"I'm a surly, self-righteous, cocky difficult bastard" then you sound like the right kind of person to beat this.

Keep positive and fight it.

Skippy x

Mark,

just read your update from yesterday sad indeed but your attitude is good wishing the best of luck with this and thinking of you and your family. Without trying to be morbid you also have to look at all the good things that's you've done in your life and never have no regrets, when you through this do as many as the things you've always wanted to do and live life full.

Lee

Mark,
To say your not a nice guy seems far from the truth. The fact you hold your family in greater regard than yourself shows what a truly sterling bloke you are.

With your positive attitude and a great family around you I'm sure you'll be ripping the trails sooner than you think!

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Live life to the full!

Ben

Just thought I'd chip in with a little advice...during your treatment, however bad you feel and whatever the doctors prognosis is, get out and about and do stuff you enjoy as much as possible, whenever you can. After seeing a family member go through cancer and its treatment/medication, it was obvious that her love of horses and competing kept her positive, stronger and healthier than if she had stayed in bed/watched TV all day. Don't get me wrong, she had bad patches where she didn't have a choice but stay indoors, but on the whole she'd get out as much as possible, spending all day with her horses even if it did mean crashing out and catching a few winks on the straw in a stable every now and then!

Thoughts are with you...keep that positive attitude 🙂

Mark & Meg, Strength, courage & love to you both.

My thoughts are with you both in the north of england,remember the Lake District is a wonderfull place to reflect on the past,the present,and the future.

Its been said lots of times before,but riding is what we all have in common,and theres always plenty of people to show you what mountainbiking up here has to offer.

I find anything that concentrates the mind has a hudge benefit to Illness,and wellbeing.

I'm not even that likable a chap; really! I'm a surly, self-righteous, cocky difficult bastard.

You're a PE teacher, don't be too hard on yourself - you're all like it. 😉

It is impossible to imagine how I would deal with the news you have recieved. I guess there are things you can affect and things you can't; as I hope I would you are focussing on what you can affect.

I have no reason to believe we have met however in the, albeit unlikely, event there is anything I could do to help do not hesitate to get in touch.

My thoughts are with you both.

petesgaff - Member

Many of you have commented on my strength, and how amazingly I seem to be coping. Don't believe it - I'm a bloody chartlatan. My problem is that, if I don't believe that I'm going to get better, I'm not sure I will.

Just get on with your life - go for walks, ride a bike, visits friends, etc, etc. Because even completely healthy people will succumb to ill-health and go into a downward spiral if they 'give up' on life. And [i]that[/i] btw, is true even of animals. A strong positive attitude, contributes to a strong positive immune system !

But I guess the best way forward now in this respect is, if you haven't already done it, to get in touch with Macmillan. They will provide you with the advise, and you can pay them back with sponsored bike rides !

I have been reading this thread over the last few days and really feel for you. You will get things sorted with your Dad he is coming to terms with the news and he is scared.
You will find out who your real friends are in this situation and if anyone offers help take up that offer. Cancer isn't something I would wish on my own worse enemy after seeing what my daughter has been through and even though our outcome is not going to have a happy ending remember that the cure rates are much better than they were a few years ago and keep a positive attitude. You sound like a strong person and very determined which will stand you in good stead.
Good luck

Hi guys and gals,

Great day! They've finally let me home after the completion of all the relevant tests needed to detirmine what type of cancers I have. This has been a major step forward in my own personal mental health; the hospital was doing my tits in, and I simply couldn't have faced another night in there.

The day started brightly with a visit from my friendly gastroenderologist; very pleasant fellow, medium height and build, mid 30's, HANDS LIKE A CLOWN! Honestly, it looked like he'd had a yeti's paws transplanted on! When he asked me to bend over, I thought the end had come....

He politely explained to me that the prostate was bigger than it should be, but not to rule out other issues such as lymphoma, etc. That was okay, as at least they've started to put titles onto what the issues are. It makes it much more easy for both Meg and I to accept the problems if they have a name.

Next came a meeting with the haemotologist, who proceded to take a sample of bone marrow from my pelvis. That was quite an eye-opener; I like to think I'm pretty good with pain, but howled like a small child at the result of that one!

However, we're back at home now. My dog is on the sofa beside me, Meg is upstairs on the phone asking some friends of ours in my beloved Yorkshire if we can crash for a couple of nights next week, and I'm feeling calm and content. I wouldn't be in this position if it wasn't for the sound advice and best wishes sent this way via your posts. Both Meg and I feel incredibly priviledged to have so many people looking out for us.

Thanks guys,

M&M

Best of luck, you have got a pretty good attitude to the whole thing which is half the battle and you still have your sense of humour.
Keep fighting.
Mark

Sods law aint it always the doctor with the clowns hands that wants to mess with your arse!
Good to read that your depression has lifted and that you are now feeling that 'positive attitude' Hope you have a nice break and if you can get out whilst your away and turn them pedals over do it. Nothing like a bit of fresh air and dirt.
As for the stubborn reference to yourself, you really should read Lances book you will realise just what a SofAB he is. Lets face it the majority of us that bugger off for hours on end in nice parts of the country (and abroad) riding with our buddies leaving our other halfs even when we know there is DIY/other dull tasks are all selfish. (Although I prefer to keep using the 'but dear you need the rest' or 'You can do some girly stuff')
As for your old man, natural reaction from him, as someone else said go see him he may have calmed down and reflected and if he is still angry leave the ball in his court and get on with life.
One final monetary issue that a couple of cancer sufferers with poor prognosis failed to latch on to was, if you are paying critical illness policy payments-get yourself in their and claim, that way you will get your motgage paid off so when you are better (dont let the insurance know that you have plans to beat this thing or they will try and renege) you will have no mortgage worries and can then get a nice upgrade on the ride front!
Stay strong
Suggsey

We only put on those clown hands when we have to go near someones arse.... My how we laugh about it in the doctors mess afterwards 😆 😆 😉

Seriously though, good luck, best wishes and if you want any medical speak gobbldegook translating into plain english then drop me a line: address in profile.

Steve

a humbling thread.

makes me smile. the human race isn't all bad after all.....

keep posting, mark

J

Just read through this thread again, a roller coaster of emotion, keep fighting both of you and keep posting.

Firstly i can only wish you all the best and hope that you kick its arse. Your positive demeanour and words have put my , frankly, tiny issue in context so thanks for that.

And those clown hands. Too true, I had prostatitis last year and at one point i though there was a never ending queue of medical professionals wanting to insert the contents of their metal trays up my arse.

Again, stay positive.

Mark, I didn’t have to go thru anything near what you’re sounding like your facing, but I was diagnosed with prostate cancer three years ago ( all clear now !! ) but I did have to go thru three separate sets of biopsies before the doc stuck gold ( so to speak ).

Then came the decisions trying to find a surgeon.. there was a while there where “ok mr lynch please drop your trousers and bend over” became an all too common greeting. ( and that was just down the pub.)

And I don’t even want to remember the nurse pointing to the stirrups during one office visit. “stirrups, but I don’t see no pony!!!”

Again, best of luck to you, keep that humour, and hold on to the love around you.

Cheers,
Greg

Best of luck to you and your loved ones. My thoughts and best wishes are with you.

Wishing you all the strength necessary to fight this and prevail.

Healing vibes!

B.

Glad to hear postive thoughts keep up the hard work best wishes and prayers are still with you for your journey.

Glad you're home, that's got to help with the PMA.

Good luck there fella.

It's nice that you have diverted your own thread from one of dread and fear to hope and having a man with comedy hands rooting around in your arse.

Beat this bastard... and the next time you meet Dr. Clown Hands it will be to shake them.

having a man with comedy hands rooting around in your arse.

****ing bastard double posting.

****ing bastard double posting.

Early morning Tourette's?

[b]Mark & Meg[/b] - I thought of yopu today as I was listening to some idiotic ranting on Radio 5 this morning. No, you're not idiotic, nor are you ranting: I was touched by the open and honest bravery of both you.

It brought to mind this excerpt from the St Crispin's Day speech given by King Harry in Shakespeare's Henry V just before the battle of Agincourt:

[i]That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
We would not die in that man's company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
This day is call'd the feast of Crispian.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.'
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.'
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words-
Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.[/i]

I keep returning to read this thread and am astounded by peoples kind words and support. I just wanted to add another voice to say Mark and Meg, good luck to you both in fighting off this horrible disease.

So sorry to hear your news M&M you will be in my prayers today. Keep fighting lad, you'll nail it.

Make sure you both keep a positive mind no matter how hard it gets!!!

My wife had ovarian cancer nearly 5 years ago,we both kept a positive mind throughout the whole thing and believe me it does help a lot. She has been clear for nearly 4 years now and it has made her a stronger person.
Best wishes to you both,I am sure you will come through it all,no problem

Karl & Janine

ourmaninthenorth, my grandad gave that speech to his troops at El Alamein on St Crispin's Day (25th of October). 'swhere I got my name.

Mark and Meg, my thoughts are with you.

All the best.