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Good luck - my best wishes
paul
MrsMM and I have an invite to a party on saturday, sadly we can't make it....
Why am I telling you this?
Because its an 'End of Treatment Party' for the 5 year old son of good friends - he was diagnosed with liver cancer last year - with the help of the NHS and his family, he has come through it... 😀
Keep positive (I know that's all too easy a thing to simply say...)
Our thoughts are with you.
Chris & Sharon
Thanks for the update Meg. Like others have said, underneath all the crap on here, it's a really special place. Keep us informed of how you two are doing.
Thoughs are with you, I know what your going through, staying positive is absolutley vital. x
All the very best. Thinking of you.
Hope he is keeping his chin up - thoughts/wishes with you both.
I know that there's nothing meaningful that I can add to what so many people have already said - you've all said it better than I ever could too.
Anyway, from Karen and me - all our best wishes, positive thoughts and love go out to both of you.
Good luck to you both. I can't add to what's already been said, so i won't try but one thing that someone up there said is so simple but so valid that it needs repeating
worrying never added a day to anyone's life
Treat each day as it comes, and try to smile a little every day.
All the best. Stay positive.
I'd like to think positive vibes help the healing process, so I'm throwing some out there too. With the support of the whole forum just think what can be acheived 😛
You are both in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong for each other.
Wow, it's genuinely moving how many amazing and thoughtful responses are in this thread. All I can do is add my support.
My wife had a bit of a cancer scare recently so it's something we talked about, and a conclusion that we came to is, firstly, that even though it might be scary as hell: it's better to know.
I can imagine for some, as has been mentioned in a previous comment, actually finding out and knowing what you have (or may not have) can be a relief. If you are unwell, your first and foremost concern is to dig deep, fight, and get well again.
Good luck & stay positive and strong.
Mrs. Willard's mum had a nasty form of cancer a few years ago. She went through a lot of chemo and bone marrow transplant, but she beat it. It was tough on both her and her husband, but she never quit, nor did the rest of the family.
People out there love you and are rooting for you. We're here for you and will do our best to pick you both up.
Chin up.
James
not much to say but all the best Meg and Mark!
I came through cancer a couple of years ago, and i know the scary process it can seem at times... an at others - it feels like its happening to someone else and your just watching a film of the events.
Best wishes to you both. Stay strong.
Thoughts from the G family too.
Mrs G's Dad and my Mum have both been through it.
All the best. Leon and Sharon.
Time for an update.
Its bad news. I was informed this morning that the likelihood is that I have a primary and secondary cancer. The secondary are hotspots on my bones, which is worrying, but the Dr's have told me that a bone marrow test on Thursday is the best way to find out the location of the primary cancer and what it actually is. I think I scared them with my matter-of-fact attitude towards the whole thing, but as yet the only person that knows just how terrified I am is Meg, who can see right through me. I'm not worried about the fight; I know I can do that part, its more the effect it has on those I love thats causing me grief...
With regards to the cancer, I don't know how the hell I'm going to deal with it, but I will. I intend to nail this mofo to the floor, or at least go out kicking, screaming and getting my monies worth.
I cannot thank you all enough for all your words of support. Meg and I have got to scuttle back to the hospital now, and I feel pretty lost without email or even the internet, but it's always nice to come home for a while and catch up. I don't know when I'll be able to do this again, but I'll try and make it ASA.
Thanks folks,
M&M
i feel quite humbled by your attitude to this. i really hope that you do indeed "nail this mofo".
i wish you both everything that you need.
I'm amazed at your attitude and openess about all this, I wish you all the luck in the world.
respect to you petesgaff,believe me you will kick it's ass!!!the best of luck mate!!!adam
That's not good news - sorry to hear it.
Good luck with the treatment. They can do so much more now than they could even a few years ago. All the best.
The very, VERY best of luck to you both. Attitude is everything, and your positivity will go a long way during treatment. You can do it!!!! 🙂
I think a Positive Mental Attitute can can be very beneficial IMO with coping with this sort of thing - don't deny its happening but keep positive that you can beat it. Fingers Crossed for you ! 😀
best of luck to you Mark, I really wish the news was better for you but i applaud your attitude, you give it hell my son.
I'm sure I speak for all the STW massive when I say that we'll be with you all the way.
Mark sorry to hear the diagnosis, now you fight and if you or Meg ever need anything just ask.
i've just come home after being in for three nights as the chemo knocked my immune system for six and i got a cold or something.
you have as much chance as anyone of beating it and coming out the other side. that's what i tell myself everyday and i work towards that. the strength and fitness will drop off but they can be worked on after the treatment and they will hold you in good stead initially as you'll be more resilient as you start your treatment.
it's sh*t, really sh*t, but every time i go to hospital there's someone worse off than me and usually they show amazing courage and humour. it's a humbling experience the love and best wishes you get from strangers is a strength and they do it without concious effort.
megan i can't imagine what you're going through as my wonderful wife is going through the same and being incredibly strong. but i'm sure there's hurt going on and an inner turmoil, like others have said it's almost easier being the patient.
i wish you all the luck that i've had so far and it's a sincere offer of getting in touch if you want. i understand if you don't. the blog for me has been excellent and very cathartic being able to down load my head. it also allows friends and family to see how you're doing.
best wishes
nick
I read the earlier update and was gutted for you, but your attitude is amazing and just what's needed to kick this thing into touch. I can imagine what a blow it was to be told - even when you're expecting it, it still comes as such a shock. In our experience once the diagnosis was given the treatment followed very quickly so you can really get on and attack it. Like so many others have said, if you (or Meg, moreso) need to talk or have any questions, please mail me - my address is in my profile. I don't have any big answers but I do know how much it helps to be able to get those words out of your head sometimes. Bon courage, my friends...
It's a horrible experience, Mrs P had a type of cancer a couple of years ago so I know where you're at and you have my deepest sympathy.
We found that it was a slow descent into hell up to the point that treatment started (chemo in her case), just one bad bit of news following another. Every time we thought we'd got the whole picture, something else cropped up, although oddly it never entered either of our minds that she might actually die. The nadir of this coincided with the doctors finally ascertaining the full extent of the disease, which I don't think is a coincidence at all: knowledge is power - in understanding what's happening and what to expect you retain some element of control and that's crucially important to your morale. Thereafter the treatment kicks in, results start to turn around and you dig in for the long haul.
We did a lot of research about both the cancer and the treatment which meant we could question the doctors, knew how to and where to go for second opinions, what was likely to happen next, recovery chances at various stages of treatment, etc. Never shy away from asking the difficult questions, or facing up to the unpleasant facts - better to know what to expect and prepare for it than to worry yourself silly for the want of a well-directed question.
Once we got past the "point of sale" NHS the cancer docs were without exception excellent but they're still fallible - they're busy people, certainly not bad people, and unfotunately busy people can and do make mistakes or sometimes miss things. You are effectively competing with many other patients for a scarce resource - unpleasant as it may sound it is nothing less than a battle for survival and a passive approach won't help. I was always questioning this that and the other, and I'm on none of their Xmas card lists as a consequence, but the ends justify the means - treatments that might have been postponed went ahead, scans that "couldn't be fitted in today" got done, etc. and she made a full recovery. We had a lot of support from our families and employers too, which was crucial.
We figured that it was all about tipping the odds in our favour - if the odds are 60:40, how do you make sure you're in the 60? What did the 60 do that the 40 didn't? It's not all down to luck although that's certainly a factor... to paraphrase Gary Player, the harder you work, the luckier you get. Believe that, and don't put off - or allow to be put off - until tomorrow what can be done today.
I like the idea, that others here have suggested, of writing stuff down. I never needed to because I've got a retentive memory, but I can see that it could really work for others. Also have a read of Lance Armstrong's book, it'll have you in floods of tears but if attitude has any bearing at all on the outcome then I reckon it's the blueprint for beating cancer.
I wish you the very best
You two stay strong and together, all my thoughts and love are with you,
Drillski
My daughter was three when she was diagnosed with agressive malignent wilms tumour. Her survival chances dipped to 5-10% when she developed secondarys and she endured some horrendous infections but she is now a bright bubbly happy go lucky 20 year old.
My theory for survival is; no self pity (she didnt know how to) and a positive support from those who are close, the power of positive thinking can never everbe under estimated, I was asked more than once 'Daddy will I die?' My answer was always without a hint of doubt in my mind 'No you wont I will not let you!' and a diet through a long year of treatment every day of one meal consisting of broccoli, chicken breast and boiled or mashed potatoes and carrotts with gravy. Alas some of the kids that were 'pampered' and given McDonlads as they wouldnt eat their proper food in my opinion seemed to be the ones that didnt pull through.
It is great to have such a great support network of people that you but also Meg can talk to and dont be afraid to use the people that have offered it. May I wish you a speedy recovery and many happy healthy years ahead, and I agree Lance's book is inspirational.
mark & meg, sorry to hear the diagnosis. as you will already know from the messages you are receiving on here that we are all watching this thread like hawks, everyone is rooting for you and hoping with the strength that you are showing that you get through the other side. By the sounds of your messages you are a real tough cookie and you will give this mofo a good scrap keep strong and all the best from, gazman and family.
Suggsey,
You're so right, PMA is so powerful. As per my previous post, my son was too young to contemplate anything negative - at one point when he was in a serious amount of pain he turned to me and said "...it's alright Daddy, all children hurt like this too, it will get better soon..." It nearly dropped me and even though my brain was saying "no Son actually they don't" in a self pittying way, I just smiled and agreed with him.
One day he will realise that he has been through something different, but at the time he could only think positively and combined with brilliant care from the NHS, an amazing Consultant, and us feeding him the healthiest food possible, he's as right as rain now.
Mark & Meg, it's not going to be easy, but you can 'do' it. Keep thinking of all the positive energy coming your way from here on STW. Keep us all informed and we'll all help you crack it.
Stu.
Only really read through this thread tonight.
All I can say is my thoughs go out to you and Meg. Your attitude to the diagnosis is truly great and I hope you do nail this mofo.
I remeber whem my dad was taken into hospital for tests and a biopsy on his kidney and the feeling was crap. He was lucky and given the all clear - I can't imagine what you guys must be feeling after the news
Stay strong and all the best
Tom
Sorry to here the bad news I wish you the best of luck in fighting it.
@Mark - you can beat it and you need to push to get referred to a unit that specialises in your particular cancer. My wife was diagnosed with CML (a chronic blood cancer) in 2005 and before Glivec the outcome was almost always poor, now there is an array of treatments which manage and possibly cure the condition. The same is happening with other cancers and the more you understand the better you can manage getting an effective treatment and access to advanced drug treatments.
Stamp your feet, shout and do whatever is needed as there is a cure out there waiting to be found.
@Meg - I know what you are going through - always remember that others are there to help you, provide information, support or just a hug. The internet is a powerful tool which can provide a lot of support and information - both my wife and I have gained a lot from being able to exchange information with the growing number of worldwide survivors of CML.
T
Really sorry to hear your news. Now you can stop worrying about the if's, buts and maybes and have a clear target to aim at. Your straightforward attitude, physical condition and family support network are going to help you beat it.
I have the Armstrong book here, mail in profile. If you want it I'll post it tomorrow.
All the best you two, from what I've heard you sound like you have the perfect attitude to get through this and I wish you the best of luck.
Keep Strong
🙂
Jeez - have been watching this post for a bit now. Stomach dropped when I read your recent updates. Bit lost for words.
It's pretty obvious that your situation is weighing heavily on STW minds.
Best wishes and keep us posted.
Best of luck to both of you. Have been through it with a couple of close family members and it really can get impossibly hard at times, but just keep positive and as already said, don't be scared about making a nuisance of yourself at the hospital. The staff are all generally amazing people who do I job I couldn't even begin to imagine doing, but they are invariably over stretched and under resourced so keep on at them.
Best wishes to you both, I know you can get through this and come out the other side.
Just briefly, one of our neighbours was diagnosed with (lymph?) cancer a couple of years ago. After the first few weeks she was given little chance of making it, and (I hate to say this) the way she looked at that time illustrated exactly that. However, over the next 3-6 months, with a lot of support, especially from her partner who was an absolute rock, she made a complete transformation. And by the summer she was pretty much her normal self. That was a year ago now, and she's looked the 'picture of perfect health' ever since. And I'd also say she's one of the happiest and most grounded people I know too.
Keep your chin up and you too will beat this.
SM
Mark and Meg
Just wanted to wish you both the best and Mark please beat this damn thing.
I wish my Dad had your attitude.
Stay strong and positive.
Andy
I'm so sorry to hear your news Mark.
I am in awe of your strength and that of your partner Megan, you have the will, you have the strength.
Please, never forget that.
petesgaff - MemberI intend to nail this mofo to the floor........
Too right you will ...... because [i]now[/i], apart from anything else ..... you owe it to STW to do just that ! 😉
I can't add much to what's already been said, other than to remind you that whilst it is of course always important to listen to what your doctors tell you, they are clearly not infallible nor able to predict the future. So whilst the prognosis [i]might[/i] not sound good, none of us knows what the future holds.
As has already been pointed out (as if we didn't already know !) time and again the predictions of doctors have proved to be wrong - as indeed some of the examples others have given, shows.
In my case, I can give you the example of a close friend of mine who was diagnosed with very advanced breast cancer. After receiving pretty extensive treatment, she was told by her doctors that there was nothing much more that they could do for her. "My body is f*cked", was how she put it to me. It really did my head in to hear her say that, and in fact contributed to me descending into a bout of depression. That was about 15 years ago now ! And I understand that because if the period of time in which she was in remission, she is now officially 'cured'.
As I've said in a previous post Mark, concentrate on the present, live for today, none of us knows what the future holds - that's a bit of Buddhist philosophy taught to me by my Chinese friend/traditional doctor/martial arts teacher 🙂 And something which I remind my ageing mother as she worries about her own mortality. And btw, maybe it will help you during these difficult times to get more in touch with your 'spiritual side'. It's something which we all have - whatever our beliefs. Although it's also something which we often ignore as we rush around worrying, in this material world.
Good luck 8)
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The only way to go......................you're both in my thoughts.
Hi
hope you are both doing ok, got a good book for you if you want it?
On the subject of spirtualism I am usually pretty sceptical tbh, but I was given a really good book a couple of years ago, its by a buddhist philosopher Thich Nhat Hanh.
It might not be your cup of tea, (breaks up the stephen king on my book shelf nicely tho) but if you fancy it let me know your address and I'll stick it in the post.
laura.pell1@ntlworld.com