[Closed] How to combat feelings of frustration, anger and getting easily wound up.

You patronising (edited 'cos my drugs are kicking in again and I'm calming down) grum!
What gives you the right to say if it was stupid for me?

What gives you the right to suggest someone commits suicide on a thread where they are clearly showing signs of mental problems?

Idiot.

Go for long walk some where you like, and what a difference it makes. Some people get a dog so they have an excuse to go for long walks. But all you need is some where interesting: up and down some hill(s), through some trees, watch some birds feeding/ flying....... whatever gets your attention takes your mind away from things and ........ justs resets the angry button that seems to have been pressed by accident.

I hope some of this advice is helping molgrips...

Barca2; the OP was asking for advice, and you seem to want to turn this into some sort of attention seeking vehicle. Personally, I (and obviously others), don't really feel your comments are particularly helpful towards the OP, and perhaps this isn't the right time and place for them.

You do, however, have the right to express yourself, but maybe that could be done more sensitively and effectively on another thread? As this is obviously causing tension on this one.

I'm not attacking you, btw, just asking for some sensitivity toward the OP (and indeed anyone suffering from any form of mental illness).

XX

arrgh - I have to walk away.
The last thing form me I promise.
Because you patronising ****er,....og, sod it, I can't be arsed.
No kisses for you grum but lots for everybody else.
ps. just in case it's gone over your head (I'm attempting irony with the kisses)

C U barca2, keep your pecker up. After the levelling off, it might start to go up again. Stick with the job and just work on it, it'll get better at some stage. Good luck.

update - it was clearly an attempt at black humour you humourles twunt!

Hilarious. And really appropriate and helpful. Well done.

As someone currently being treated for depression maybe I'm a little sensitive. Or just a patronising ****er eh?

Hey grum, it's a forum and I was giving the opinion I'd been asked for (which hasn't changed in light of your response, thank you very much). The OP might have depression, or he might not. If you got off your high horse for a second you'd have noticed that I asked a question of him, as the answer (in my experience) MIGHT be a place to start looking for an explanation of his feelings/behaviour.

And BTW, I know some GPs who waste a huge amount of time dealing with people who believe that there are easy answers to everything and nothing is their responsibility.

Shame that an appeal for help has degenerated into a slanging match where the sufferer has become a football in a game of willy-waving, isn't it? 😐

Edit: That's a TERRIBLE mixed metaphor, sorry...

make sure you eat well, drink water, sleep well, exercise a bit and all with some sort of routine.

this will help you feel better. and the routine will help you feel a bit more in control.

obviously this is not the fix all solution but i't a damn good start.

Found this thread very interesting.
I often get frustrated and annoyed, invariably with myself for procrastination, so when I saw that one of those links had a self-help 'stop procrastination' tutorial, I saved it in my favourites as 'Read this tomorrow'...

i feel like that most of the time . our lass blames the army for the way i am (and she works in mental health so has some idea on things of that nature). could be right lol i just put it down to being a bad tempered ****t with a very short fuse and a deep seated hatred for background noise for some reason , which is very odd.

i try to relax and as much as i hate the phrase chill out. get out on the bike or keep busy and try not to be so snappy seems to work ok to a point i still fly off the handle. tho i have been worse recently as been off the bike for about a month so far due to surgery and more to come ;-(

my mates say our lass takes her work to seriously by taking me home to work on 😉

Good lord. I was going to flippantly suggest not reading STW any more, but after reading this thread I think it might actually be good advice.

+whatever for talking to your GP, quite common and should be easy to fix.

🙂

the sufferer

So this guy has now been diagnosed as clinically depressed by a bunch of distracted internet skivers who've never met him?

So this guy has now been diagnosed as clinically depressed by a bunch of distracted internet skivers who've never met him?

No, most people suggested going to see someone who is actually in a position to assess and help him. Seems your user name is quite appropriate.

BTW apparently browsing internet forums too much is a fairly common trait of people who are depressed. Guilty.

So this guy has now been diagnosed as clinically depressed by a bunch of distracted internet skivers who've never met him?

OP: take comfort that you appear to be a caring and worthwhile human being.

"GPs who waste a huge amount of time dealing with people who believe that there are easy answers to everything and nothing is their responsibility."

So you are, in a backhand way, suggesting that the OP is a time-waster. Very rude and un-sociable indeed!

"Internet skiver"

And I object to being called an "Internet skiver". I don't have feelings of guilt about my Internet usage, but perhaps you do?

I think it's clear who's got the real issues!

Plus 1 for go to GP
Plus 1 for Depression
Plus 1 for serotonin level needs sorting
Plus 1 for CBT

Whatever anyone says to yo, if the above is correct and it seems a lot like it may be, (incidentally eczma is another symptom), you cannot resolve it through MTFU or any of the other crap that people trot out. However, solutions are available, very effective and not especially difficult to obtain. If your GP is unhelpful demand (politely and non-violently of course), a second opinion. I didn't, and it took me a further 10 years of utter crap to get sorted.

One of the good things about STW is that there are loads of fellow sufferers out there, and generally they are very supportive and honest about it. To be honest if everyone who was suffering had a green dot on the forehead as a symptom we would all be freaking out about the epidemic.

One of the good things about STW is that there are loads of fellow sufferers out there, and generally they are very supportive and honest about it.

as I said in my post on the cycling books trhead the other day, I swear there is some sort of correlation between cycling and depression.

Three interesting side symptoms there that I can put a tick against.

Sorry if my personal view upset anyone, but another problem is that the time you seem to need help is when your not responsive to it. Learnt more here today than over the last thirty odd years. I'm only half joking, back then it was Army or nuthouse hence I legged it.

I often get frustrated and annoyed, invariably with myself for procrastination, so when I saw that one of those links had a self-help 'stop procrastination' tutorial, I saved it in my favourites as 'Read this tomorrow'...

😆

Sorry.

😳

Sorry if my personal view upset anyone, but another problem is that the time you seem to need help is when your not responsive to it.

Plus 1 for CBT

This keeps coming up, but I have no idea why learning to ride a motorbike would help...?

So you are, in a backhand way, suggesting that the OP is a time-waster.

No. I'm suggesting he ask himself a few simple questions BEFORE going off to the GP.

How come so many people on here seem to have no comprehension of written English?

Try a light box. I got a Phillips "GoLite" a few months ago and it has transformed my winter life. A bit pricey but worth every penny.

This keeps coming up, but I have no idea why learning to ride a motorbike would help...?

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy 🙂

In my experience,BUT everyone's different,counsilling may or may not work,and dont write off medication as that may help with your Seretonin levels etc...worth a try imo.
Biking and the gym is a must to beat that anger,bit of boxing or on the punch bags does wonders too,.
suffered with it majority of my life,and all the drugs dint help too(ie illegal ones)

What a typical STW thread this is.
I'm sure the OP expected it when he posted, well, I'd hope he did.

Anyway, I've been there and some of the answers above worked for me - boxing, mountain biking and most of all - A NEW JOB.

It was my job driving me nuts and I took that out on everyone else.

An outlet for the aggression (eg. boxing) is very worthwhile, but you have to do it a lot to really work out the aggression. 1 hour a week is not enough.

Therapy is for Yanks. IMO.

yes therapy dint work for me,im still battling it 15 years on,just do shiteloads of exercise with biking,gym,and boxing etc...beer is a no no for you, and for me cant do it nowadays,my heart aint too good though,the illegal substances have taken their toll on me... ;0S

just do shiteloads of exercise

What do you do if doing shiteloads of exercise makes you ill?

Dooge - well done for recognising the problem, making an effort to do something about it and asking for advice. Some counselling may well help -and of course deal with the cause rather then the effects.

Some of the posters here have been very brave in making their past decisions open to others here and I respect that - fair play all. Some of the other comments in reply have been less than positive and that's just hugely disappointing, albeit typical for STW forums. I kindly suggest that judging others publicly isn't always a nice trait.

I'll as in what grum?don't do it if so and try somet else,just helps for me that's all

Dickheads who trot out MTFU lines and “theres nothing wrong with you that a good [b]<fill in your own stupid platitude>[/b] won’t sort out”, are the main reason why I made myself a promise to be open and upfront about my experiences because it just might stop someone else extending their problem for longer than absolutely necessary..

Depression and anxiety are caused by chemical imbalances in your body which effect your brains activity. There is nothing you can do alone that will make that change, albeit there are things you can do that will mitigate the symptoms. I wasted a ridiculous amount of my life manning the **** up and having a good [b]<insert own platitude>[/b] to sort myself out. Its called self medication and is widely seen to be yet another symptom nowadays.

Frankly those kind of comments would at one time have boiled my piss, but now make me pause think about it and look for a different approach so that I can achieve a positive outcome……

I'm sorry if I'm one of the people who disappointed you, glenncampbell.

I was in the OP's position once, except I didn't even have a girlfriend; in my own eyes, I was a loser in a dead-end job.

I had symptoms like the OP has symptoms, but I wasn't depressed, I was just frustrated and anxious. Not the same thing at all. I got out of it, eventually, with the aid of some fairly straightforward, but informed, careers counselling. That's all it took. Not by visiting a GP and thankfully not by taking prescription drugs.

In the meantime, I coped with not having as much money as I'd have liked, feeling undervalued, underemployed and all the rest of it (which is specifically what the OP asked for help with) by riding, reading and seeing my mates. And hanging on with grim determination. The same coping strategies I use now I'm in a well-paid job that I like, in other words.

Like many people, I have personal experience of depression but I don't see how it's relevant to this thread. My mother-in-law has trouble walking. Doesn't make me an osteopath. Knowing how much training professional counsellors and listeners have to do before they're let loose on potentially vulnerable lives, I'm suspicious of people offering their 'support' on here, too. But that's a different thread.

Anyway, a few of us have asked the OP specific questions with the intention of helping. My questions, I know, were based on my own experience of getting out of the hole, but that's not to say they're relevant to him at all. It would be interesting to see his answers, if he feels like responding?

…come to think of it, my own 'symptoms' were nothing like as worrying as the OPs. I certainly never got violent.

Maybe he should get himself off to the doc's. From the thrust of his post, though, he seems frustrated at not being able to get a job, so maybe a careers counsellor would be more help. A professional one like I saw, not one of those useless wastes of space you (used to) get in educational establishments.

Good luck mate.

Nicely put DK.

I think a few people on here have either a) been through the 'system' with their mental problems or b) work in it or know someone who does. So that is relevant experience I guess.

Wow, I wasent expecting such a huge list of replies. I want to say thanks, whether forums members consider its helped or not it has. I have read every reply as this is important to me.

I dont know how clear I came off in my first post but I see this as situation frustration. Im sick of my job (Yep, who isnt?) Im annoyed at living at home and having to commute in like the rest of us underpayed, under-appreciated people. People are ultimately selfish, and what may seem tiny to one person might seem a mountain to another. Fact is, I know from past experience just telling someone to man up or get on with generally dosent help. I want to sort my problems, but for the moment, I asked for advice on how to stop myself falling that little further that might just push me over the edge. To sort my problems is to get a better paid, full time job and start my life again but to start feeling a little more positive about myself and my ability I have to find a short to middle term way of coping with the frustration and anger. I dont have a drug habit, never tryed anything in my life. Same with smoking. Drinking is a rarity for me compared to 90% of young people. I mentioned the times before as they are significant to me and highlighted to me I have a problem when maybe Ive just been casually ignoring it, but I wont touch alcohol now until close to the end of April, depending on how I am feeling in myself.

My mum is a manic depressive. Late last year she spent 2 months in bed practically every day with us hiding her car keys and removing any form of medication that she could overdose on so she wouldnt drive herself off the road or drug herself. She has plenty of past problems, and has never been healthy in the illness sort of the word, even if her diet and routine is. I do believe I might be a little more exposed to it than someone like my brother who is like water off a ducks back due to what gene pool I fell into, however I am not using this as an excuse. I have had depression before, and have self harmed so I know the signs. Although this dosent follow the same traits as last time I feel myself going this way.

I dont want to seem like a moany weak self involved individual, but last night I had had enough. Who cant say they have never moaned about their day or had a bad day when they havent felt themselves? Im not looking for someone to cure me, or to give me the answers, just opinions and ideas on what people have also been through and what worked for them. Thankfully there are alot of people who want to help and have had similar, or seen similar and I am genuinely sorry if some members thought this was a waste of time. I can take a joke no problem, but I didnt mean for this thread to turn into an argument between members. I am also not going to go and take an overdose or do anything else stupid.

I had a long chat with my doctor today who recognised that I have signs of going towards being 'clinically depressed' but Im not there yet. We talked about it alot, and the use of CBT and decided it was probably best for me at this stage. Normally, exercise would be on my agenda no end as jogging, jumping on the cross trainer, doing weights or other exercises is in my normal routine but Im taking it easy due to not knowing the outcome of my wrist yet.

Again, thanks to everyone who chipped in, if seen as good or bad its all helped.

Doug

Doug - I have read your post and wish you well. You were wise visiting your GP and you have been listened to. Hang in there.

Everyone has different views and experiences but there was a tremendous amount of support for you. Take one day at a time.

its a common symptom of finishing a degree, and finding out your massively indebted, living at your parents and seemingly unemployable.

happens to loads of people.

do a phd, you'll get paid and have a purpose again.

" God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

gotta try to be happy with what ya got, cos it's a damn sight better than a lot of people on this planet. Our perspective is skewed.

I can take a joke no problem, but I didnt mean for this thread to turn into an argument between members.

Don't worry about that. All the interesting threads end up as arguments. It seems to be the nature of the beast that is STW

mrsflash - Member

One of the good things about STW is that there are loads of fellow sufferers out there, and generally they are very supportive and honest about it.

as I said in my post on the cycling books trhead the other day, I swear there is some sort of correlation between cycling and depression.

I don't think there are any more on here than in the general population - infact exercise helps reduce depression.

something ridiculous like 1:3 of the population will have some sort of mental health issues at some point in their lives.

"I swear there is some sort of correlation between cycling and depression."

physical exercise is a great anti-depressant. That's all.

I agree with TJ, you'd be surprised how many of the population have depressive illness of some kind. If you're trying to say cyclists are more likely depressives. then that's just bollucks. You gathered all this wide ranging info from what.. a cycling forum?