[Closed] How to combat feelings of frustration, anger and getting easily wound up.

Can someone please summarise all that.*

*Please don't hit me.

Dooge youre in exactly the same position as a lot of oput there, violence doesnt help,(but it does make you feel better).

Keep pluging away and something good may happen.

One for professional help - counselling might do the trick - to your GP and ask for a referral or self refer if you don't want to go thru your GP.

sounds to me like the sort of thing that can be helped quite quickly and easily.

Violence towards others is something I have never done and as mad as I ever got, would never do.

I am going to the GP tomorow for my Exczma so I might have a chat with her aswell.

You could try beating Jamie up for being so flippant 🙂

Like TJ says. See a professional, nip it in the bud.

Been there, done that, fortunately without the hitting out bit. Do you need to cut down on the beer? 24 hours work of a week should be enough to put some structure into your week that unemployed folk don't get which sometimes makes this stuff worse. I found volunteer stuff (BTCV, trailbuilding?, charity work) helped a lot to get my head together, together with learning new skills via PC and library. Winter never helps either, but that might be gone by next week. Good luck with it.

Look into CBT - http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfoforall/treatments/cbt.aspx

All the best.

6 weeks for a scaphoid. You'll be lucky. Mine was 3 months of a job.

Definitely go and see your doctor.

Some of these might possibly help in the meantime. They are CBT exercises - some people find them very effective.

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm

I think you sound like you might be depressed to be honest. I get the teeth grinding thing a lot, it's quite a common symptom, as is feeling lost, flying off the handle etc.

Agree with advice above, go and see the doc.

*Anger Management for Dummies*

As above seek professional help but reading could help?

I read the below, recommended to an individual with anger issues and they said it helped, but heh! I'm not a Doctor after all

*The Tao of Pooh the Te of Piglet*

(pics link thingy borked!!)

deadlydarcy - Member
You could try beating Jamie up for being so flippant

I would deserve it as well.

Go Vegan.

I agree with Mrs Flash - it sounds like it could be Depression to me. Frustration, anger, irritability, indecisiveness are all common symptoms of Depression. Some more common in men than women.

For example, low serotonin in men is associated with anger even violence, in women tearfulness etc.

I found this yesterday which I found gave perhaps the most comprehensive description of depression symptoms I have seen.

[url= http://bipolar.about.com/od/depression/a/060603_dpsym4.htm ]Depression Symptoms[/url]

Cheers gents, all helpful. To be honest, Ive never been a massive drinker. I had 3 pints of cider over 2 hours on Paddys night, and thats when I destroyed my phone. Granted though, Sat night was a different story but its not a regular occurence. Ive never been a big drinker, and normally have been the one to look after others.

Some easy things to try...

Cut out the alcohol.
Make sure you're getting enough sleep.
Exercise regularly.

alternatively you could just take out all your anger and frustration by being a massively egocentric keyboard warrior like some of the STW forumites. It seems to work for them 😉

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It's good that you recognise your behaviour needs addressing. Obviously riding your bike will help, can I recommend a singlespeed as being particularly good at getting rid of angst.

You do have a lot to deal with by the sounds of it. It's really just a case of changing your mindset. Don't feel like a victim. Take control. Be optimistic.

Good luck.

Shame you are off the bike for a few weeks as a ride can solve most things. When I go a bit darkside I usually get out and ride, go for a really long walk or go for a run. The latter two may be an option for you. Ps I could ride fairly flat trails after about 5 weeks (with a wrist support) when I fractured a scaphoid, so won't be long before you can get some miles in.

speak openly with your GP.

You're under-employed. Try some volunteering, helps get your mind off things and its nice to be nice - brings its own blessings.

Do you do any drugs?

If you do, don't go wasting your GPs time, just stop the drugs and see how you feel in 3 months.

This might include alcohol.

I notice you say "when out drinking" - does this imply, when out getting very drunk?

Maybe try not doing that too. Did you smash up the phone and bin whilst drunk?

Maybe try AA instead of your doctor.

Speaking from recent experience, dooge, when you've been to the lowest place you can, it kind of levels off a bit into resignation. Sorry I can't be more positive, but you DO have an actual job at the moment. Try and build on that.

This might help I was reading in the paper the other day about the footballer Wayne Rooney who alongside being a good player is known for his bad temper.

They were saying how he has been alot more calm this year, he said he used to box and play football until Everton said he had to give up boxing, in the last year he has taken it up again which coincides with his more mature displays when on the field.

I would also add that some of the most calm and happy people I know take part in martial arts or some form of fighting.

Perhaps give it a go, releasing your stress down the gym to leave you happy on a Sat night with your lass. Plus you'll make some new friends.

Welcome to the real world. At the risk of sounding unsympathetic, your problems aren't unique and aren't that great.

Do you think you're the only person in the world who feels 'underemployed' and undervalued? I had those feelings when I was working in menial jobs after leaving college and I have them now I am in a 'senior' position doing a job I love.

Your problem is, you've got angry after a few beers and now you're wallowing in self-pity.

Consider those people in the world with [i]real[/i] problems, consider how lucky you are, stop drinking if you can't handle it, and get on with life, like everyone else has to.

But at least you've recognised you have problems coping, which is step 1 in fixing them.

Do you know what job you want? Have you identified a strategy to get yourself into that job? If you can do that, it will at least give you some positive actions and a plan to work to, instead of drifting from one application to the next.

Dorset knob, telling someone who may be depressed that they're no different to anyone else and basically mtfu is really not helpful.

+1 for TJ, get some help. It can really work wonders when you're stuck.

It sounds as if you're in a deep endless depression.
The only way I can see you getting out of it is by taking lots of drugs. All at once. You certainly won't be in a deep depression anymore. A deep coma maybe but not a depression.
Always happy to help.
Xx

Agreed. Telling someone to MTFU is rarely helpful unless it's meaning "you CAN actually overcome this".

Some pretty shocking replies there.

Dorset_Knob and barca2 - I would ask whether either of you have seen someone reach rock bottom due to their depression being ignored? Someone I love experienced this and it got as bad as it gets. To see it happen in front of your eyes - someone in complete and utter turmoil - and not knowing how to help. It's not something you can forget.

I will always listen to people who are struggling, people from here (some complete strangers) have e-mailed me. It can be easier to open up to someone you have not met and is thus unable to judge you.

dooge - my e-mail is in my profile.

It sounds as if you're in a deep endless depression.
The only way I can see you getting out of it is by taking lots of drugs. All at once. You certainly won't be in a deep depression anymore. A deep coma maybe but not a depression.
Always happy to help.
Xx

WTF! Why on earth would you post that? Do you think it's clever to be a really unpleasant person?

But medicalising someone's social problems is also unhelpful.

Giving someone the excuse that they are clinically depressed when in fact they just need to look at the way they live lets them off the hook and does them no favours.

Who appointed you as an expert in the life of someone you've never met?

I think his GP is in a far better position to assess what the best course of action is than you are. Talking about 'wasting the GPs time' is unhelpful.

Becoming angry to the point of seriously injuring yourself is a potential indicator that you may well need some help. Drinking may be a symptom of the problem as much as a cause - who knows? Certainly not you.

Giving someone the excuse that they are clinically depressed when in fact they just need to look at the way they live lets them off the hook and does them no favours

Is depression always the result of not looking at the way you live? Or is there a deeper condition here?

I'd think it's a bit rash to make that kind of judgement based on a single post on STW.

*Anger Management for Dummies*

'Anger Management' is bollocks. Yes, you 'manage' the anger, but not actually get to the root of what's causing it. Which sounds like Depression, as MrsFlash has said. Get thissen to a physician.

Hi-energy sports can be very helpful, in realising a lot of pent-up energy. Intense physical activity can also help to stimulate production of chemicals in the brain, that make you feel happy. Something where you can focus your efforts, set goals/targets to achieve, so your focussing your energy on that, not something else. I've fund weight-training and rowing in the gym to be very helpful and you're too bloody knackered to lash out afterwards! Something repetitive and steady, like swimming, can help you 'zone out', and get into a good comfortable rhythm. And it's good for the body.

An increase in physical performance can help bring more confidence, which may help you to relax. But there could be underlying things in your subconscious that need addressing. Which is where the Head Doctors come in.

But medicalising someones social problems is also unhelpful.

Giving someone the excuse that they are clinically depressed when in fact they just need to look at the way they live lets them off the hook and does them no favours.

That's an ignorant, outdated and potentially dangerous attitude, that comes more from bosses wanting their workers simply to be productive, than from health care professionals. Stress and Depression are some of the most devastating illnesses in our society, and until recently, have not been given enough attention. As for 'looking at the way they live', whose to do that, then? That's what the doctors and counsellors are there for. The above statement displays the sort of attitude that scares people into not seeking help.

I had similar issues though at a younger age than you, I wasn't someone you'd want to know...I blame my father whoever he is?

I got zero help TBH the world then didn't seem to offer much help for this sort of thing, so I had to find my own way. Firstly I avoided any medication.
In good moments I'd put things into perpective (I still have to do that now) Look at the things you have done and have got including your health.
I don't set over ambitious targets and I don't gamble or dream about good fortune.
I drink but not more than a single drink a day, only had a small cider since Christmas. If someone gave me a bottle I'd neck it and suffer.
The other big issue is taking control of your life and everything in it, never leave issues or things to build up beyond control.
And ride, it's literally been a life saver for me.

cinamon girl - yes thanks.
Full'ish bottle of anti depressants, full'ish bottle of sleeping tablets and half a pack of paracetomal washed down with a can of diet coke. I didn't want to die fat.
I woke up (rather disapointed and embarrased) in ICU at Stepping Hill Hospital two days later with very blurred vision, raging headache, red raw trachea, black stuff (charcoal I believe) all round my mouth and on the bed sheets and my previously massively abusive Dad sat at the end of the bed in tears.
Apparently it was between me and God as the kind consultant put it.
21 years ago. My liver is showing the strain now though.
The blonde student nurse on her first ward placement at the time became quite a significant person. We got married to each other four years later.
I'll not forget that.
Good enough for you?
Love and kisses
Xx

+1 for CBT.

I had similar problems with anger, lashing out at the people closest to me (especially when I'd been drinking) and CBT helped me to properly deal with everything and learn how to control myself.

It is AWESOME.

barca2 - so why are you recommending other people do the same stupid thing you did? Because it turned out well for you in the end? 😕

I never ever bothered to find out why I was like I was, though it's interesting to see the way people deal with it i.e like Barca or in an aggressive manor.
That said I think I do now know why.
So I've gone from someone who saw everything as black and white, to someone with huge paramiters. The only problem being is cross those parimeters and all hell breaks loose.
The excercise is a cliché but it does work. I stole a bike and went to join the Legion, however I got as far as the coast and became a bum.

EDIT EDIT EDIT I stole a motorbike not a bicycle I'm not a theif 😐

I don't think barca was actually recommending it.. 🙄

I don't think barca was actually recommending it..

Well what was the point of his first post exactly? 🙄

You patronising (edited 'cos my drugs are kicking in again and I'm calming down) grum!
What gives you the right to say if it was stupid for me?
It was at the time by far the best option for me and it took a very long time for things to calm down a bit. Quite a bit went on in between as well and would you effing believe it, once I had got things straightened out, I ended up back on a psychie ward for a long spell following a very nice experience having a very large vacumm chamber quite literally getting ready to have my insides on the outside.
I'm off now, the wooly there-there let's have a cuddle spouters have ceased to ammuse me and a regularly beaten young lady and her two year old son are in need of my employers services. That would be me trying to get them to a safe place of residence then.
Funny old world, innit?
Bye
Xx

update - it was clearly an attempt at black humour you humourles twunt!
I dare say it was also a heavuly veiled dig at the patronising clowns on this forum ever ready to bang away at the keybords with their endless 'it will all get better, dearie' spouting rubbish when everybody (and let's stop dicking about and get down to it) including the person who asked for advice in the first place knows he/she should either go and get some help, carry on and hope it doesn't all go wrong or graba few scripts, a bottle of something of his/her choice and take the last option he/she will probably ever take.
I really need to go now. The service users have arrived.
T'ra.