My money minus expenses (bikes, beer, guitars, drugs, hookers etc) goes into a common pot which is then fairly divided on essentials.
Used to be two separate accounts.
Then was two separate accounts + a joint account (for joint expenses) funded solely by me.
Now it's two accounts + joint account funded by both of us.
Whatever the structure, I've always taken the lion's share of our costs but then I earn materially more than she does. She still plunders the joint account when she's run out of her own money..!
I earn 90% of our family income, my wife has limited earning potential as she's bringing up the kids. I'd be a huge d*ck if I told her she couldn't buy anything for herself as she doesn't earn much.
When she was earning, all earnings went into a joint account and we paid for all aspects of life out of that.. whatever we needed. Thankfully she's not a serial spender and aside from the mortgage we have no debt.
Have a few friends with chips on their shoulders about how much one brought to house deposits vs the other. We also had vastly different savings behind us when buying our house. We tracked this originally but once married and kids in the picture, it's a moot point. What's mine is hers and all that.
What still makes me chuckle is that whenever we go out for dinner, she says thanks even if it goes on her card.. which reminds me I must say thanks to her more often for being generally awesome.
I earn significantly more than the Mrs, I pay all the bills. What she earns is hers, what I have left after the bills is mine. There's not much in it by that point, and there isn't actually a hers/mine feel to it.
When I earned significantly less than the Mrs we split the bills 50/50, and we used to argue about that.
There's some pretty convoluted setups being stated here.
Ours is simple: all earnings go into the joint account. 90% stays there for living costs and savings, then 5% each is transferred into our individual personal accounts for spending on whatever we like.
It seems unfathomable to me why one person in a marriage should get more spending money than another.
Edit to above: on reflection maybe there are circumstances where an uneven split on spending money could be agreed. For example, if my wife took up horse riding or I took up racing fast cars. As it is though, my 5% is enough for occasional spending on a new bike. She seems to spend hers on clothes and haircuts.
Waderider - MemberAll goes into one account and we spend whatever we want. If it's running dry we warn each other and temper it a bit. Not difficult.
this.
However, its all managed by the missus, inc tax, as I hate doing it, and she may well be siphoning off funds to an offshore account to fund her lavish next marriage with a toy boy. I have no clue 🙂
Sound's like you don't have kids....cos when you do there is no spare cash for nice things.One pot here for my one income for her to spend it all.....
You are me 🙂
We put money in a joint account each month. I earn more so put more in. If we have more money left at the end of the month we put more in next month. When the joint account reaches a certain level we put some in savings. Or it comes out of savings if it sinks too low.
Each to their own, but I've never 'got' the idea of separate finances if you're married/sharing bills/raising kids etc..
I was earning significantly more than MrsDrP - all the money went into joint account, all the money went out joint account.
Her business is doing really well now..the above still stands.
We pay the bills, spend it on stuff, save it, and slow down when it gets low...!
I get proper wound up that my sister in law frequently 'borrows'* money off us to pay for food etc etc, despite the fact she and her husband have plenty of money, it's just in 'his account'. Granted, she sounds terrible with money, however that should be sorted between themselves and trust built up again...
I'd hate the idea of my wife 'asking' me for 'our' money. Feels very archaic..
DrP
*Is it borrowing if it's never paid back? Sigh...
My wife pays for almost everything, it's great.
The only thing i have to pay is her credit card bill* 😀
*Tesco card, i get the points redeemed as Evans vouchers
Oh christ, I got flamed for this last time
http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/married-finances-separate-accounts-or-fully-shared/page/3
but just to prove I learn nothing.
when i met my wife she was a credit disaster, county court judgements, the lot (CCJ not really her fault other than ignorance to be fair)
As I was in the process of buying a house we may have fibbed about cohabiting and the mortgage was applied for and granted to me alone. Remortgaging, once we were married, i didn't need to use her salary to get any extra so didn't. Hence all the mortgage, and the associated endowments to pay it off are in my name still.
We just haven't got round to having a joint account since, but given the difference in salaries I pay all bills apart from the car/pet insurance - it's her car/dog she can pay for it. She does the food shopping from her salary (in general -if she asks me to go to the shop to pick up some bits I don't ask for the money or anything daft) and then I make her a payment* into her account so that we end up with similar levels of disposable income in the end. We buy what we want (within reason) and we 'share' discretionary expenses thereafter.
* The mistake I made last time is that I said I paid money into her account for the housekeeping - because she mainly pays the day to day house expenses plus kids clothes - and I got accused of being Victorian Dad deciding what my wife has money for. Which is bollocks, it just splits like that and makes sense, i/ she loves cooking and hence makes sense she decides what to cook and hence what food to buy; ii/ as we have separate accounts for reasons given, if she takes the kids into town to buy clothes or shoes for them after school of course it'll be her account it comes from.
To the OP; that would seem to me like saying that rather than make a payment into my wife's account to balance, I made a payment to balance it but heavily in my favour because I earn more. I would expect a flaming for that, but at the same time a marriage / partnership is equitable so it's not really up to a bunch of internet moaners like us, it's up to what she thinks and you think and you need to decide between you.
taking more from the partnership because you earn more is just plain old selfish.And you dont think expecting - which is very different from being offered - a pile of cash someone else who works longer/harder/more successfully than you isnt?
I haven't earned anything in 15 years, why would I when Madame earns more than we need doing a job she enjoys? That doesn't stop me buying anything I want, I contribute in other ways and the whole basis and reason for marriage is the stronger sex looking after the other half and kids. It's just that which is the stronger sex isn't as clear as some might think.
All property is in both names. The current account is joint but for practical reasons (French law) the bigger financial investments are in individual names invested 50:50. "Practical" is for example is being able to spend money should one of us get run over by a bus.
I pay for everything, my wife doesn't bring in any income but looks after the kids and she gets? an allowance. I'm clearly old school!
Joint account for all the bills etc. Rest of the money stays in our own current accounts to do as we please. Seen to many people have arguments when all the wages are lumped into one account.
I earn 4 times as much as my wife, I pay for everything with exception of council tax.
I would however never put all my money into a joint account as I manage my money like an accountant and lets just say she doesn't.
2 individual accounts and 1 joint account. As i earn more i pay a bit more in. Then holidays etc come out of our own accounts. Everything else is covered
All in one account and I don't worry my pretty little head about money. Just ask if we can afford x. If the answer is yes it gets bought, otherwise we/I do without.
There's no balance sheet in our marriage. What I earn is ours, what she earns is ours.
We originally arranged finances so we both had the same amount of disposable income after monthly essentials, even though I earn more. Most of the monthly bills come out of my account, other half does a few plus shopping, then at the end of each month she send me cash via Paypal gift to balance things out.
We probably ought to look at the figures again, because we set this up a couple of years back, since then bills have gone up a fair bit and our wages have gone up a little.
Everything into the joint, which pays everything (bills and long term savings). The same allowance to my wife and I. I'm the only one earning.
so it's not really up to a bunch of internet moaners like us, it's up to what she thinks and you think and you need to decide between you.
Probably the most sensible advice in the thread.
she send me cash via Paypal gift
Lol...
Completely separate accounts, I pay a larger share of the mortgage and all of the council tax as I earn more (2.5x) and everything else is split down the middle. I pay for everything and then she gets a total at the end of the month to transfer over, which is also handy for keeping an eye on monthly spending. However, if there are any big purchases (house deposits, new kitchen, car, etc) then I generally pay for it.
We're both happy with this arrangement and have never had an argument about money in the 8 years we've been together - we don't have kids though and both work full time. For us it works because we'd probably both hold off buying semi-frivolous things (bike bits in my case and knitting bits in hers) if it was coming out of a joint pool, as we wouldn't want to be wasting "our" money.
I also saw what happened to my brother at the end of his marriage where his wife, who we all thought was lovely and would never do such a thing, absolutely rinsed their joint accounts and credit cards and left him in a ton of debt while she buggered off to Dubai.
Not read the whole thread but what your suggesting in the OP seems like the first step to divorce.
We have everything paid in to our joint account then have a small equal allowance each month to fund bikes booze (with others, not when we're together) and tat. Currently that allowance is £60 a month and it's not enough for me.
But my wife doesn't have a job because she looks after me and the kids so in the op example she'd get nothing and I'd be minted, which doesn't seem like a good basis for a partnership.
When we first got together she had her own house and earned double what I did, ultimately things haven't changed it's just where the money comes from that had, luckily I've managed to asslick my way to a salary that's about what our combined income was, so we're struggling financially but we're in it together
Share a bed, share your money, simple really.
i pay 2/3rds into the joint account , she pays 1/3rd into the joint account for all the household bills
we also put asside into another account 100 pounds each for vehicle maintainance/mot/insurance/tax which covers running 2 vehicles and a surplus for the replacement vehicle in future.
I save the difference between my wage and Jaynes as a minimum into OUR savings and mortgage overpayments.
The rest between us is split between living/recreation and house renovation/repairs.
all big purchases are discussed openly - ie anything over hundred or so pounds regardless of whos account is paying- most of the big ticket items for us both are bikes and bike related kit.
I buy the essentials
She buys the luxuries
Sole breadwinner, we just buy what we need/want.
Why make it more complicated than that?
😀 Some penny pinchers here.. Of course you put all money into one pot. None o'this, I earn more, I pay extra for this, I give money for that.
Income into joint account, personal allowance out of that into personal accounts for smaller discretionary spending (and for things like work expenses, which just complicates joint finances).
Allowance is the same for us both but varies month by month depending on what other big expenses we might have.
Wasn't really an issue before kids, we earned similar and just put more than enough each month into the joint account, excess went towards holidays and the like. Once kids arrived far more spending is "family" anyway.
I usually recommend YNAB for budgeting, they have some good articles - [url= https://www.youneedabudget.com/guides/join-forces/ ]this one[/url] and the "yours, mine, ours" priorities is a good perspective. Ultimately it doesn't really matter how you arrange your finances as long as you're agreed on how you earn and spend your money.
Some penny pinchers here.. Of course you put all money into one pot.
Sod off.... as i said we had sound reasons for keeping our finances separate and as it works, why change now after 21 years together.
And penny pinching - she gets a 'better' financial deal out of the rebalancing of disposable income than I do, but we are a partnership so it's only fair. we contribute materially and spiritually in different ways to the whole shebang but to decide one party's contribution is worth more toys just seems daft.
Live with longterm gf; I earn roughly double what she does, we both have our salary paid into separate accounts and a joint account for bills (which I pay more into). I have more disposable income to spend, but will buy her things or give her money if she were to need it (which she never does as she gets a decent wage).
If we were married it would likely be different, if we had kids it would certainly be different, as I wouldn't want it to feel like she had to come to me for hand outs if she was looking after the kid.
I out-earn (in a monetary sense) my wife quite substantially AND she gets a wage from my business on top. But we are in it together and she does much more of the looking after the family stuff – it wouldn't cross my mind to share out money anything other than equally.
So for the allowance people how does it work. Say for example a new bike. Do you save up the money and then buy a bike saying hey look wife/husband I've bought a new bike?
We have joint monies so I would say I'd like new bike, we'd look at finances and decide together.
We used to do the allowance thing, cos I'm shit with money.
Wages went into a joint account, my allowance paid into a current account for me. Worked well.
The split now we're divorced is about 60% of my wages go on essentials, the rest on bikes, coke and hookers (about £20 per month) 8)
We have a joint account, I'm the main earner since a change of circumstances, her work pretty much breaks even. Spending habits in teh end dictated who looks after the money, she's more of a spontaneous spender, so keeps a close eye on the account. I don't spend much so just double check if I need anything.
Works well. if it was split and we both had 'allowances' I don't think I would be happy if she couldn't get something she needed as her allowance was used up.
I can see it being useful if there was a wadge of a pot, once everything else is paid up, equally shared, but there isn't, so no.
We use personal accounts which have monthly fixed standing orders into a joint account, just after pay day.
All the monthly bills and mortgage come off the joint account (which is a reward account to claw some cash back).
Why?
Because it keeps the budgeting/accounting simpler for us. Quick look at the joint account statement lets us see our fixed outgoings (with nice pie charts etc on the internet banking). As long as we have a bit left over in there at the end of the month we know they are being met.
Wife earns quite a lot more than me, so we happily juggle funds between our personal accounts if required, but I'm fairly frugal anyway so it's not usually an issue.
Everything in our home goes into, and comes out of, one big pot. Everything is jointly owned (except bikes and books, obviously 😉 ), and the kids, when they need money, have to earn it.
We have joint account that we both pay the same into each month to cover regular bills. We top it up if something expensive pops up.
Big expenditure like holidays, cars and the like we talk about and then just split.
Wife earns just under double what I do but no kids and two good jobs means we have spare cash (we decide where we are going on holiday not if). Works fine, probably because of this. When we first moved in together my wife had the better car so we sold mine and used hers. Didn't pay anything to here despite mine being a 12 year old clio and hers being a brand new golf. Equally, she paid for all the building work when that we had done on the house as she has the savings.
Until this year we both paid in the same amount to a joint account that paid all the bills and built up savings for house decorating, new bathroom etc. We both earnt around the same amount so it worked out just fine.
Post oil price crash, brexit and all that shit my wage has dropped to about 50% (after tax) so I re-adjusted mine so I can just about scrape through the month (commuting petrol, half the shopping and a subsistence approach to toy maintenance) but have no money for bling toys, beer, etc. I'm keeping a tally of how much I 'owe' the joint account in arrears.
Swings and roundabouts, hopefully in a couple of years I'll be back earning decent money, pay off the arrears and be back with more spending money.
The split now we're divorced is about 60% of my wages go on essentials, the rest on bikes, coke and hookers (about £20 per month)
That's some quality entertainment you're getting there Dez.
This has been discussed before, and there will never be a consensus !
For us it's salaries into personal accounts, standing orders from there into the joint account which covers all the house costs inc. food. Contributions are split pro-rata to our net pay which by and large has been fairly evenly matched over the years and never felt unfair, or left one of us penniless at the end of the month. I can see that this wouldn't work where there's a large disparity in income though.
Holidays and large purchases for the house generally get split 50/50. Things that we [i]want[/i] rather than [i]need[/i] tend to get paid for by the person that decided they want them 🙂
But we're not lavish and we don't spend down to the last £ each month, so there's never any stress over any of this. If any money accumulates it gets shifted into our ISAs.
So for the allowance people how does it work. Say for example a new bike. Do you save up the money and then buy a bike saying hey look wife/husband I've bought a new bike?
Broadly yes - if I've any left at the end of the month I move it to a savings account just because I find it easier to control that way. If i run out by the EoM then I pull some back from it. Over the years I've saved up a lot more from my half of the discretionary allowance, basically because I'm not a spender and I like it there for a 'rainy day' or if there's a surplus over that then eventually I might have a treat. But as per other threads, I'm a fan of zero / low rate finance / CCs so in general if I accrue enough in the account to justify a new toy, I'll probably leave it in there anyway and buy it on a deal or zero rate card anyway (plus, consumer protection, etc.) knowing that the cash is there to cover it if I had to. And while it is my business, I'd of course 'ask' but the conversation always goes along the lines of 'you know I'm shit with money, if you say you/we can afford it then I'm not going to disagree'
My wife just allows her balance to shrink and grow from a base but she's much more 'immediate' - if she gets to the last week of the month and has left over then she'll probably arrange a night out with her friends, or spend it on clothes. If you wanted to be sniffy, you'd actually say i have the raw end because I'm the one insuring against the sudden need to get a plumber in while she just 'fritters away' but I'm not like that. We're different people in that regard, and that's fine.
If you want to be particularly picky - in the past she got into credit card debt and rental arrears hence the CCJ mentioned before. As a result for years she wasn't allowed a Credit Card and because it wasn't easy to track finances before you get a balance in three taps on a smart phone, her way of tracing was that after she'd been paid she'd take it all out in cash (less the few DD's she did/does), hide it in her knicker drawer and know how well the month was going by how much she had left. It used to kill me but it worked. Nowadays she has a card so she can shop online / benefit from the Consumer Credit protection but it's a joint one with me (I just don't use mine) but it means I have access so i can check how much she's spending and warn her if it goes over a certain amount. Does that make me 'Sleeping with the Enemy' level of control, I don't think so, but I'm sure some will disagree.
We have our own accounts ( not married )
I earn a fairly large chunk more than her
We split core bills down the middle.
My personal living costs are more expensive: eg, I have to eat 3000 calories a day, she eats 1500. If we go out, it costs me £60+ to get drunk, it takes her £15. So I pay for food accordingly as I'm eating more, buy my own drink, etc.
Seems to work for us. My Mrs is great in that she appreciates how hard I worked to get my salary and she insists I enjoy it how I choose.
If we go out, it costs me £60+ to get drunk
I'm guessing you either live in the south or have the liver of basking shark.
(Round here in the desolate north £60+ equates to 20+ pints)
Married but separate accounts. Mrs B is the main breadwinner, and I work part time so as to be able to attend to all the school run and domestic logistics. Mortgage & school fees come out of Mrs B's account, but aside from that we just share what we have. We've never really felt the need for a joint account.
That's some quality entertainment you're getting there Dez
Nothing but the best for me 😀
It's mine I tell you, all my mine
😀 ,
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Haha just persueded the wife this afternoon to put an extra £50 in a month and she took it .
Joint account covers mortgage, food and bills with a few hundred extra for meals, birthday presents etc
It works well , no kids, each have our own money to do as we wish
We each get paid into our own accounts and then transfer a set amount into the joint account for bills. What's left is ours to do as we see fit.
I've just had a nice pay rise and for the first time earn significantly more than her so broached he idea of paying more bills or giving her more money. This was slapped down with no mercy and I was told never to bring it up again.
It's a system that works for us.
