[Closed] How do you split your finances at home?

Income into joint account, personal allowance out of that into personal accounts for smaller discretionary spending (and for things like work expenses, which just complicates joint finances).

Allowance is the same for us both but varies month by month depending on what other big expenses we might have.

Wasn't really an issue before kids, we earned similar and just put more than enough each month into the joint account, excess went towards holidays and the like. Once kids arrived far more spending is "family" anyway.

I usually recommend YNAB for budgeting, they have some good articles - [url= https://www.youneedabudget.com/guides/join-forces/ ]this one[/url] and the "yours, mine, ours" priorities is a good perspective. Ultimately it doesn't really matter how you arrange your finances as long as you're agreed on how you earn and spend your money.

Some penny pinchers here.. Of course you put all money into one pot.

Sod off.... as i said we had sound reasons for keeping our finances separate and as it works, why change now after 21 years together.

And penny pinching - she gets a 'better' financial deal out of the rebalancing of disposable income than I do, but we are a partnership so it's only fair. we contribute materially and spiritually in different ways to the whole shebang but to decide one party's contribution is worth more toys just seems daft.

Live with longterm gf; I earn roughly double what she does, we both have our salary paid into separate accounts and a joint account for bills (which I pay more into). I have more disposable income to spend, but will buy her things or give her money if she were to need it (which she never does as she gets a decent wage).

If we were married it would likely be different, if we had kids it would certainly be different, as I wouldn't want it to feel like she had to come to me for hand outs if she was looking after the kid.

I out-earn (in a monetary sense) my wife quite substantially AND she gets a wage from my business on top. But we are in it together and she does much more of the looking after the family stuff – it wouldn't cross my mind to share out money anything other than equally.

So for the allowance people how does it work. Say for example a new bike. Do you save up the money and then buy a bike saying hey look wife/husband I've bought a new bike?
We have joint monies so I would say I'd like new bike, we'd look at finances and decide together.

We used to do the allowance thing, cos I'm shit with money.
Wages went into a joint account, my allowance paid into a current account for me. Worked well.
The split now we're divorced is about 60% of my wages go on essentials, the rest on bikes, coke and hookers (about £20 per month) 8)

We have a joint account, I'm the main earner since a change of circumstances, her work pretty much breaks even. Spending habits in teh end dictated who looks after the money, she's more of a spontaneous spender, so keeps a close eye on the account. I don't spend much so just double check if I need anything.
Works well. if it was split and we both had 'allowances' I don't think I would be happy if she couldn't get something she needed as her allowance was used up.

I can see it being useful if there was a wadge of a pot, once everything else is paid up, equally shared, but there isn't, so no.

We use personal accounts which have monthly fixed standing orders into a joint account, just after pay day.

All the monthly bills and mortgage come off the joint account (which is a reward account to claw some cash back).

Why?

Because it keeps the budgeting/accounting simpler for us. Quick look at the joint account statement lets us see our fixed outgoings (with nice pie charts etc on the internet banking). As long as we have a bit left over in there at the end of the month we know they are being met.

Wife earns quite a lot more than me, so we happily juggle funds between our personal accounts if required, but I'm fairly frugal anyway so it's not usually an issue.

Everything in our home goes into, and comes out of, one big pot. Everything is jointly owned (except bikes and books, obviously 😉 ), and the kids, when they need money, have to earn it.

We have joint account that we both pay the same into each month to cover regular bills. We top it up if something expensive pops up.

Big expenditure like holidays, cars and the like we talk about and then just split.

Wife earns just under double what I do but no kids and two good jobs means we have spare cash (we decide where we are going on holiday not if). Works fine, probably because of this. When we first moved in together my wife had the better car so we sold mine and used hers. Didn't pay anything to here despite mine being a 12 year old clio and hers being a brand new golf. Equally, she paid for all the building work when that we had done on the house as she has the savings.

Until this year we both paid in the same amount to a joint account that paid all the bills and built up savings for house decorating, new bathroom etc. We both earnt around the same amount so it worked out just fine.

Post oil price crash, brexit and all that shit my wage has dropped to about 50% (after tax) so I re-adjusted mine so I can just about scrape through the month (commuting petrol, half the shopping and a subsistence approach to toy maintenance) but have no money for bling toys, beer, etc. I'm keeping a tally of how much I 'owe' the joint account in arrears.

Swings and roundabouts, hopefully in a couple of years I'll be back earning decent money, pay off the arrears and be back with more spending money.

The split now we're divorced is about 60% of my wages go on essentials, the rest on bikes, coke and hookers (about £20 per month)

That's some quality entertainment you're getting there Dez.

This has been discussed before, and there will never be a consensus !

For us it's salaries into personal accounts, standing orders from there into the joint account which covers all the house costs inc. food. Contributions are split pro-rata to our net pay which by and large has been fairly evenly matched over the years and never felt unfair, or left one of us penniless at the end of the month. I can see that this wouldn't work where there's a large disparity in income though.

Holidays and large purchases for the house generally get split 50/50. Things that we [i]want[/i] rather than [i]need[/i] tend to get paid for by the person that decided they want them 🙂

But we're not lavish and we don't spend down to the last £ each month, so there's never any stress over any of this. If any money accumulates it gets shifted into our ISAs.

So for the allowance people how does it work. Say for example a new bike. Do you save up the money and then buy a bike saying hey look wife/husband I've bought a new bike?

Broadly yes - if I've any left at the end of the month I move it to a savings account just because I find it easier to control that way. If i run out by the EoM then I pull some back from it. Over the years I've saved up a lot more from my half of the discretionary allowance, basically because I'm not a spender and I like it there for a 'rainy day' or if there's a surplus over that then eventually I might have a treat. But as per other threads, I'm a fan of zero / low rate finance / CCs so in general if I accrue enough in the account to justify a new toy, I'll probably leave it in there anyway and buy it on a deal or zero rate card anyway (plus, consumer protection, etc.) knowing that the cash is there to cover it if I had to. And while it is my business, I'd of course 'ask' but the conversation always goes along the lines of 'you know I'm shit with money, if you say you/we can afford it then I'm not going to disagree'

My wife just allows her balance to shrink and grow from a base but she's much more 'immediate' - if she gets to the last week of the month and has left over then she'll probably arrange a night out with her friends, or spend it on clothes. If you wanted to be sniffy, you'd actually say i have the raw end because I'm the one insuring against the sudden need to get a plumber in while she just 'fritters away' but I'm not like that. We're different people in that regard, and that's fine.

If you want to be particularly picky - in the past she got into credit card debt and rental arrears hence the CCJ mentioned before. As a result for years she wasn't allowed a Credit Card and because it wasn't easy to track finances before you get a balance in three taps on a smart phone, her way of tracing was that after she'd been paid she'd take it all out in cash (less the few DD's she did/does), hide it in her knicker drawer and know how well the month was going by how much she had left. It used to kill me but it worked. Nowadays she has a card so she can shop online / benefit from the Consumer Credit protection but it's a joint one with me (I just don't use mine) but it means I have access so i can check how much she's spending and warn her if it goes over a certain amount. Does that make me 'Sleeping with the Enemy' level of control, I don't think so, but I'm sure some will disagree.

We have our own accounts ( not married )

I earn a fairly large chunk more than her

We split core bills down the middle.

My personal living costs are more expensive: eg, I have to eat 3000 calories a day, she eats 1500. If we go out, it costs me £60+ to get drunk, it takes her £15. So I pay for food accordingly as I'm eating more, buy my own drink, etc.

Seems to work for us. My Mrs is great in that she appreciates how hard I worked to get my salary and she insists I enjoy it how I choose.

If we go out, it costs me £60+ to get drunk

I'm guessing you either live in the south or have the liver of basking shark.

(Round here in the desolate north £60+ equates to 20+ pints)

Married but separate accounts. Mrs B is the main breadwinner, and I work part time so as to be able to attend to all the school run and domestic logistics. Mortgage & school fees come out of Mrs B's account, but aside from that we just share what we have. We've never really felt the need for a joint account.

That's some quality entertainment you're getting there Dez

Nothing but the best for me 😀

It's mine I tell you, all my mine

😀 ,
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Haha just persueded the wife this afternoon to put an extra £50 in a month and she took it .
Joint account covers mortgage, food and bills with a few hundred extra for meals, birthday presents etc

It works well , no kids, each have our own money to do as we wish

We each get paid into our own accounts and then transfer a set amount into the joint account for bills. What's left is ours to do as we see fit.

I've just had a nice pay rise and for the first time earn significantly more than her so broached he idea of paying more bills or giving her more money. This was slapped down with no mercy and I was told never to bring it up again.

It's a system that works for us.

My SO is the breadwinner. Married. 'Old'. We divide things something like this:
her:
mortgage
investment schemes in anticipation of education (children)

Me:
utilities
council tax
mobile phones
TV (netflix, amazon, cable)
broadband
phone
food
school trips, lunch money... (not fees, the state requires qualified teachers)

we have individual current accounts and no joint account.

We have transparency over spending (oh, how hard it is to say 'hey, I 'might' have bought a coat in the Alpkit sale while I was away the other week').

Our regular monthly budget is clear. And for now we're in a reasonable position. Aside from the mortgage, we have no debt that is not easily covered by other assets.

Now, just to figure out what job to do after my current one disappears with redundancy.

Up until a year ago we had an IF.com 'plan' that made viewing each other's current account status and transactions easy (you can imagine who might have needed the occasional question of 'what's this'? :oops:)

The idea of a joint account is not one that has appealed to either of us when we've brought it up.

So for the allowance people how does it work. Say for example a new bike. Do you save up the money and then buy a bike saying hey look wife/husband I've bought a new bike?

this is something that has required preparation, 'seeding' of the idea, a proposal of where the money will come from (share sales, bonus, weirdly there is never any 'spare' cash), and an indication of why it is necessary. 🙂

not fees, the state requires qualified teachers

Not in academies and free schools, which is the vast majority of secondaries... its the brightest and best/cheapest we want not the qualified!

I rock up an am like "ante up beeathches" then I take my fat roll and live the life. Like all Krystal and Taco Belle and drop top kompressors an Gucci and shit. Fo' real.

I pay all the bills, she works for herself and buys the family food. Whatever is left over gets spent on us, the kids and all the other stuff a family does. At my commission time we make big purchases/pay off mortgage chunks depending on who wants what. Happily we spend less than we earn so we seem to muddle along.

Fortunate enough to be the the sole bread winner.

So mine is ours.

Dont really buy things for myself any more ... not bothered in the least.

I pay the bills and food, misses spends her money on the kids stuff. 3 kids = no spare cash

Both working, and largely separate accounts, but more so that we can control and track our own spending rather than trust.
I pay all household bills and 95% of food shopping. Wife does holidays, petfood and extra curricular stuff for the urchins. If we eat out I tend to pay, but I earn more. Since the bills and holidays are covered, then the rest of our respective incomes is for each of us to do as we will. Works for us, but we have a modest mortgage and so don't need to count every penny with precision.

Both salaries into the same account. Everything is paid for from that. And we spend what we need to spend (). Wouldn't want a relationship with someone I couldn't trust with money, or who doesn't trust me.

Actually what I mean by "spend what we need to spend" is open to interpretation as to the precise meaning of "need". She doesn't see the new Garmin that I "need" as a household essential. But largely the system works.

Pay goes into personal accounts and 50% of that then goes into the joint to cover all shared costs. Gradual accumulation covers extra things we want. Our own money for our own expenses and whims without guilt.

We've always aimed to be able to live on one income, partly because that's how it was for quite a while as my wife's work was so variable. Now she earns a little more and works 1 less day.

Obviously, everything can be jigged if things change (which the arrival of mini miss is likely to).

All living/household bills come out of a joint account that we both pay in an equal amount to (slightly more than the monthly outgoings, just in case prices increase suddenly).

Personal commitments (mobiles, cars, hobbies etc) from the remainder of our personal accounts.

The wife earns a bit more than me but has a more expensive hobby than bikes so alls fair.

50/50 has always worked for us.....

I'm responsible for the input side of the equation. Mrs Tired does the books and manages the output side. Except bike expenditure, I seem to have a monopoly on that. She is very understanding.

We don't split the finances , any money coming into the house benefits everyone who lives here. If a bill needs paying and I have enough then I pay it and vice versa if its my wife who's flush. It's been like this since we moved on together 27 years ago , we never argue about money.

Until recently, my wife was working and was earning a reasonable salary. However, i earned approx 3 x as much. Therefore, we contributed to a joint account in proportion to salary to cover bills. I then paid accommodation at source as it's military housing. All other joint costs went on a credit card which again was paid off each month in proportion to salary. Anything she had left over she could spend on whatever she wanted/needed. Although that left me with more money in my account, I have saved the majority of that for a house deposit for us both and spent little.

Now we've got a little un and my wife's unlikely to go back to work for a few years, I'll have a rejig once her maternity pay dries up. That will probably consist of reviewing finances at the end of the month after absolutely everything has been paid and splitting the remainder three ways: 1/4 for her, 1/4 for me, 1/2 for joint savings.

Interesting.

When we were "dating" we used to have separate accounts. Bills are split according to the wage difference. This ment that i was paying for 70% plug mortgage etc. Before we got married for some reason she didnt think this was fair. We now pay into one bank account and everything comes out of that. i probably spend about £200pm on bike bits and tat. She spends about 50 quid tops.

Personally the all in one pot works better than the two separate accounts in both transparency (although theres still the secrit bike credit card) and managing money. Its enabled us to move house although we are seriously stretching ourselves now.

At the moment we each put a set amount into our joint account each month and have separate accounts for our personal things. The joint account pays mortgage, household bills, car insurances, life insurances and food. He earns about 10k more than me. I am currently pregnant and our baby unfortunately has been diagnosed with brain abnormalities. We are currently undergoing further diagnostic testing and are finally seeing a consultant today. Following that we need to decide whether we are going to gamble and continue with the pregnancy or make the heartbreaking choice no one wants to do and have a late termination for medical reasons. Our sons problem is a grey thing not a black and white thing and he could end up anywhere between normal development and severely mentally and physically disabled. They can only tell us probabilities. If we do get to have our baby then we will be switching to fully joint as I won't be able to go back to work full time even if he ends up with normal development. We both work shifts and long hours and there is no childcare options for 0430-1900. If he is disabled then possibly depending on the severity I may not be able to work at all. It needs to be me who ends up staying home as he earns significantly more and even if he didn't I am the more patient and calmer one.

Joint account - sufficient goes in to cover all our bills, plus a bit for leeway. We each pay in the same amount. Sometimes my salary is higher, sometimes hers is but it balances out.

Anything left after that stays in our own accounts for us to spend as we like, although I pay for all our cars and associated costs bar her fuel. It's likely that in future she will earn much more than I do and maybe it'll change then.

[i]Big hug to hellz85.[/i]

Makes me feel very fortunate with our family / finances...

My wife and I met as students, then moved in together after uni.

We started by paying an equal monthly sum into a joint account, to cover all food, bills, rent etc.

My wife has sporadically had paid employment in the charity sector and had 4 years 100% at home with our kids. After the most recent part-time job from 2014-16, she's now at home again. We're used to one income, so while it has an impact on us it's also something I've planned for.

One of us being at home makes a massive difference to family life - and is something I value equally to my work salary.

I now pay for everything day-to-day, via a monthly standing order to the joint account and directly from my account for savings, bills etc. If wife earns again, she will make a modest contribution to the joint account. The rest is ours to spend as we please.

I'm fairly modest when it comes to what I spend money on (including bikes), so I've not had forensic questioning about my purchases in the last 16 years.

Building bikes myself helps massively with this. As an example, she buys and later sells all the kids' clothes and toys, so understands how if you buy high quality gear in the first place you can later sell it for a good price and hence the cost of the new stuff isn't that much!! 😉

I pay for all household usual expenses (mortgage, food, bills, most of kids clubs / clothing etc.) but it's not all my income that goes in - if more is needed I'll generally pay for it.
Mrs B works part time and saves a bit for projects and holidays (which I will generally also contribute a bit too). She then also has her own pot of money.

We started this when the children came along, as we both suffer from a guilt complex if we spend on ourselves at all from a joint pot - it works better for us to have ring fenced 'pocket money'.

joint account to pay all bills. but kept separate accounts to get paid to, including keeping savings separate, but mainly to spread risks. everything discussed and agreed over about £50..she does all the weekly shop but only works 3 days a week. Our hrly rates about the same but she works 1/3 of hrs I do. all money is ours, not mine or hers.

We put all earnings into one pot and buy whatever we want. If we have a month where we spent too much the month before we just calm it down the following month. Worked this way for ten years never had a single issue this way

we have separate accounts but we both have a joint account where we put our savings in. that pays for stuff like holidays, home repairs/maintenance and any other large spends
i pay all the bills and the mortgage
wife pays for the shopping and child care although i contribute 25% of the childcare.
childcare costs will be be zero from september which will leave us with more to spend so it will mean we can both put a bit more aside into the savings too.
this arrangement has always worked for both of us.

Talk here mostly about covering bills and buying nice to haves. What about saving for the future/retirement? Luckily my wife sees the importance with that but isn't interested in the effort so she leaves this to me to look after which suits me. So she buys what she wants then I take the left overs and do something sensible with them. I cover all bills/holidays/both car costs....

Hellz85 - all the best with whatever decision to take.

What about saving for the future/retirement?

Not a chance of that anytime soon!
Realistically we'll have to sell our house to fund our retirement.
Despite both working full time in fairly good jobs the mortgage/kids suck up every penny we have every month.

I put lots in - she takes lots out

Only ever had one income, I would probably faint with excitement of a second income appeared.

We're both self-employed with separate accounts and sometimes I earn more, sometimes he earns more but we both have access to each other's accounts and what comes in is [i]ours[/i], not 'mine' or 'yours'. It works nicely and there's no 'secret' spending (FFS- we're grown-ups!) If we can afford to do or buy stuff stuff, we'll do it or buy it regardless of who's going to be doing it or using it. As long as we can pay the bills it's all good.