[Closed] getting married next saturday - any advice?

Don't.

Run for your life....or get her to sign a contract stating you can ride as much as you did before the wedding then get it framed and hung on the wall.

wise words, listen to Drac

Cull the list of people to ones you actually like - i had to pay for relatives to come and have a free meal and drink and they don't even speak to me when i pass them in the street!

Cancel all plans - do off to a beach and get married there just with a few friends and close family.

+1 Drac, its sound advice.

Good advice from Donk too, your biking won't be affected though.

Get her name right?

Get plenty of sleep in now.

Don't

+1

Find a woman you hate, then buy her a house. Far less hassle than getting married.

[url]

Not that any of you are bitter.

she rides as well, and sometimes nags me to go out riding if i am sat being lazy. honeymoon is 2 weeks biking in scotland.

only 70ish people coming to the wedding, which is on a farm in the peak district. civil ceremony, hog roast, live band, piss up.

Dave

Relax and enjoy it. Assuming of course that she's the one for you, you will have the biggest smile on your face all day. Don't listen to everyone else above; it's kids that stop you riding, not wives!

Other tips?

Don't write your speech the morning of the wedding like I did. Spend the time with friends and family instead

Have a "quiet" stag do the night before. My wife had a meal out with mums and friends. I sat at home on me tod 🙁

If you've got friends/family taking pics/vids make sure you let them know what you want the pics and vids of. Our photographer was a semi-pro family friend on my wife's side. The pics were great, but most of them were her family and friends and not mine.

Relax and enjoy

Enjoy every minute of it, dont let the best man lose the ring, leave the bridesmaids alone!

book a taxi for the end of the night. I forgot, and found out how hard it is to get a taxi, at midnight in Leeds. it gets harder when you have a crying bride and "well wishers" getting involved. Also, for the speech, its easy just follow this simple pattern and you can't go wrong!

1: "my wife and I.... (pause for cheers) would like to thank you all for coming"

2:Doesn't she look beautiful today, plus a little bit about how you met/how you got engaged/ how great she is

3:thank brides family (for paying/for producing hot daughter/ welcoming you into the family etc)

4:Thank your family for your whole life basically

5: thank other people (flowers/cake maker/ musicians/ fire breathers etc)

6:thank best man and ushers, give small gifts (don't give your best man a case of strong bow, he will drink it all and then "have to hang onto the railing so as not to fall off the moon".)

7: thank bridesmaids "don't they all look beautiful" etc. give small gift.

8: make any announcements (bar times/pills for sale/single friends etc)

and you're done. Forced jokes are crap, ad lib is best and don't write it all down and then read from it. if you must write stuff down, just put titles and ad lib around them!

have a good un, it won't be the best day of your life, its long, tiring and expensive. the best day comes about 3 days later when you've relaxed and are lying on a beech somewhere hot!

DONT=2

So many cynics.

I got married a year ago and it was a brilliant day

Don't worry about the speech there are plenty of good ideas for speeches on the internet use a couple but include plenty of funny personal stuff about how you met etc! The pressure is on the best man to deliver the funny speech so the grooms is easy.

Any technical / logistic / organisational difficulties let your best man / ushers deal with.

Relax and remember to enjoy it

[i]So many cynics.

I got married a year ago and it was a brilliant day[/i]

Hahahah! That's why your not.

"Not that any of you are bitter."

Or maybe realistic?

So many cynics.

I got married a year ago and it was a brilliant day

Give it time 😉

Wow, lotsa bitter divorcees about?

Where are the happy marrieds?

[i]Wow, lotsa bitter divorcees about?[/i]

Hey! I'm not divorced.

[i]Where are the happy marrieds? [/i]

Precisely.

Or maybe realistic?

What, that you're going to end up hating the person you've married having sunk a considerable amount of money into a joint posession? That marriage is basically sh1t?

I think the ones being "realistic" as you say have been bitten by someone they shouldn't have married and are giving their jaded opinion. Marriage works for many people, or is that being "unrealistic"?

Wow. Talk about pissing on someones parade from a great height.

Advice (I've not done it but been bridesmaid to many, yes joke is true, whatever):
Drink but in moderation. You'll want to remember.
Plan an extra 20 mins for getting to the church, something always goes wrong.
Get the bridesmaids to iron your shirt if you're not going to.
Friends have said it was the little things they remembered. They're OH's wrote secret post it notes and left them under plates on the top table, left notes all over the room they were staying in, left daft gifts under pillows.
Go to the pub with some really close mates the night before but don't get a hangover.
Try and relax.
Make some time, even if it's only 10 minutes, to go for a walk with her and no one else.
It's knackering and you're on your feet a lot. Wear comfy shoes.

Your wedding sounds brilliant, frankly, just relax and for gods sake remember to say thank you for all the planning she has done. And mean it. It will have been one of the most stressful things she's ever done, I'd guess.

Drac - why the bitterness?

+1 for Kit - marriage clearly works for some.

I'm busy getting unmarried, but I don't think that was inevitable. Loulouk speaks much truth. 🙂

One bit of advice that I forgot to take was dont drink too much before your speech!!.

I had one glass of bubbly too many and when I got my notes out of my pocket I was struggling to read them, had to down a few pints of water, and luckily I had the speech pretty much memorized.

So another tip, Practice your speech, lots!! Think mine went down quite well, or so everyone said, lots of laughs and a few people in tears at the slushy bits.

I had lived with my wife for 9 years before we got married and said "we have lived together for a long time now, but I need to tell you I havnt married the woman I want to live with, I have married the woman I cant live without". This line went down very well!!

What makes you think I'm serious?

No bitterness here...

Not happily married, but happily co-habbit

Contract over who owns what!

And ignore the posts above saying run for your life.
Better off cycling...its faster!

Congrats btw!

Is she fit? kidding.

Speech - don't take too long or insult anyone too much. Make it snappy and class.

"we have lived together for a long time now, but I need to tell you I havnt married the woman I want to live with, I have married the woman I cant live without"

Oh, one more thing, eat something. Yes, nerves, yes, queasy. Fainting groom worse, however, so tell your best man to carry some oat bars or something. Unless you've managed a full english, at which point this point is irrelevant. 🙂

My first response was going to be Don't - but that was just for comedy effect and to join in with the joke.

My wedding day was almost 20 years ago and it was great. Some wise words above re enjoying the day and keeping the speeches simple. If there is only one piece of advice I can offer you for the day it is to relax, enjoy the day and take in as much of it as you can. Yes it is a long day but boy it flies by! If you are not careful you will miss out on spending some time talking to / meeting friends and family who have made the effort to come. And try and make sure you can get the friends and relatives to send you a copy of pics they took as they will help capture all of those moments that you didn't see. One wedding we went to recently provided a pile of instant cameras at the reception. Let people take photos and then you know you have at least a record from different peoples perspective of the event. Worked well.

Have a great day - and a long and happy marriage!

Drac - Member
What makes you think I'm serious?

Try to avoid the opening words "this isn't the first time I've got up from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hands". I was quite up for using that but glad I avoided it. Not sure everyone would have s****ed at my rather infantile sense of humour!

Otherwise go with the other wise positive words and relax and enjoy the day!

Happily married here. It all hinges on you finding the right partner.. I was sure of it and I just spent the entire day grinning like a loonie uncontrollably 🙂 But +1 for relax. You're there with family to get hitched. **** all the flowers, guest problems, speech protocol and the rest - it's not important. You and your loved ones are.

People go on about wanting the day to be perfect so they stress about crap - well to be honest, if any day needs massively expensive flowers, a coach and horses and tons of stress about family to be perfect, then.. well.. that's clearly bollokcs.

Where are the happy marrieds?

waves.

Ok on a serious note.

Happily married it was a great day and now have 2 lovely kids. It does change things anyone who says it don't is lying, it may be small but it does change things.

Tips:

Well most is covered but I'll go with the disposable cameras tip, we put loads scattered around for people to use and got a nice varied amount of pics from all through the day and night.

Relax it'll work out no matter what trivial things get in the way.

Would I do it again if I was to seperate from the Mrs? God no!

Thanks for the tips guys; I'm used to everyone giving the standard respons of 'run' or 'don't'... so much so that I normally pre-empt it when talking about the wedding.

relaxing: I plan to. I don't really get stressed, so most of the day will be spent with me chilled out and her fretting. I've tasked the bridesmaids with calming her down before-hand, and I'll take over the job once hitched.

speech: cheers for the tips, some useful lines there. I will most likely adlib it, but a few preprepared phrases and headings is a good plan.

right partner?: we've been together for over 7 years now, including travelling for a year together and living together for 5 years - owned a house together for 3.5 years.... i'm pretty sure she's right for me!

photos: we're taking a laptop and card reader with us, and we're going to harvest everyone's pictures in the morning.

Really looking forward to it; it's going to be a whole weekend long party:
friday night family buffet.
saturday afternoon wedding, followed by cake and champagne, then a hog roast and band in the evening.
sunday big breakfast and a pub lunch with as many people as are still around, then a hot tub and champagne for me and the missus when the sun goes down.

Dave

Was going to give my tuppence worth but I think all I would say has been covered by the above so just enjoy your day, and best wishes to the both of you.

[i]Thanks for the tips guys; I'm used to everyone giving the standard respons of 'run' or 'don't'... so much so that I normally pre-empt it when talking about the wedding.[/i]

Yup a standard running joke but some seem to miss it.

I'd echo the advice to have a quiet night the night before. It's not worth the grief of either turning up still drunk or with a howling hangover, or worse not turning up at all because you wake up a) tied to a lamppost b) in A&E or c) in a lifeboat of a ship bound for Yokohama.

Get to the wedding venue early enough to have a small stiffener. If my experience was anything to go by, the G&T I had before kick off & the glass of champagne immediately following were about the only things I got to drink until after my speech.

Practice the speech. Try not to put anything contentious in it, but remember to thank the bride/bride's family/bridesmaids/best man/ushers.

Enjoy it.

Andy

meehaja's advice is good.

Your wedding sounds like a good-un - farm in the peak district. civil ceremony, hog roast, live band, piss up. Have you got your ale lined up? If not give Thornbridge a bell ( http://www.thornbridgebrewery.co.uk).

Best wishes for the day.

scuttler... ale is all coming from bad ram brewery and lager from freedom beer.

You should have a few nerves on the day, I think its a good indication that you really care about what your doing.

I tried not to do too much of the thanking thing as 1. Its boring 2. Saying the bridesmaids etc look fantastic is all a bit predictable.

Are you going away on honeymoon straight away or the next day? If not think of some thing nice you can do the next day, we booked in to a very nice country hotel and escaped from the world for a couple of days. Just gone home the next day to our house would have been a big anti climax.

staying on the farm until monday morning, then driving up to edinburgh for a couple of days, before we start biking.

Dave

I'd echo most of the positive comments about the day. I found that there was so much goodwill in the room that whatever I said went down well. Don't like to give advice, but I'd avoid the ale as much as you can (I didn't have any time to drink, it went so fast) - remember the day and take lots of photos, it will go past very, very quickly.

Have a great day - the worst wedding I went to was one where the bride's mother fussed over everything. It's also the only one where I had to call an ambulance (bridesmaid broke her ankle).

Paul (16 years and still happy)

Remember no-one. They don't matter. Don't let future MiL drag you around all evening like some new puppy to show you to aunty Hilda - whom probably can't hear anyway and will have popped her cloggs in 6 months time. I met dozens (literally) of my silly MiL's friends and I swear to god I have never clapped eyes on 95% of them again in 16 years of marriage.

Find your wife & friends you've invited, get a table near the dance floor, whenever anyone says "fancy a drink?" the only answer is yes, and make it an expensive one, you've just fed & entertained them for the last 8 hours. Keep the photographer happy by trying to make sure things run to time, although that is really a best man job. BM should also be the problem solver & "runner", don't get dragged into sorting out useless cr@p with the venue etc, it's your wedding day FFS!

Speech, keep it simple, people just don't understand bridegroom humour, especially when you're just trying to chill after a stressful couple of weeks.

I'll echo what Andy (ratherbeintobago) says about a drink before hand, my missus & I were coerced into so many introductions that we drank naff all all day, I went to bed with a pounding headache because of dehydration & stonecold sober.

Needless to say plans for future celebrations have left MiL & her friends out!

@Cheshirecat, need to check you were not at my wedding, my bloody MiL ruined it by fussing. Needles to say she was as chilled as buggery for her sons wedding (he who can do no wrong).

Look back as she's walking up the aisle (especially if her father missed the practice and marches her up it 3x faster than planned). Great day and all for it.

Just in case however, a word to the wise for all Dads who want joint custody of any kids - get child benefit paid to you - it keeps the CSA from the door.

Enjoy the day and take time to take it all in. It goes by so quick that you'll wake up the next day having missed bits that her in doors saw and you didn't and vice versa.

Take plenty of pictures and if you can get someone to video it, do it even if its a mate with a handycam type thing. We got married in Feb this year (still married too) and have priceless bits like me "hushing" her grand parents up when they were talking over the speaches and the glare i shot them. Didn't know i'd done it til i saw the film. Oh and picking on her mum for liking a drink!! 😆

Have an easy night the night before (stag night week before to give you time to get over it, get some cream to stop the itch, get out of prison.....)

Enjoy Scotland and Edinburgh, thats where we went too!!

Have a good one and all the best for the future.

Look back as she's walking up the aisle (especially if her father missed the practice and marches her up it 3x faster than planned). Great day and all for it.

Why on earth would you have a practice? 😮

Andy

i went for a 2 hour bike ride up Bredon Hill with a couple of mates several hours before my wedding!
my sister in law kept on insisting that the bride have a spray tan before the wedding (she never had one before, and will never have one again) and that is the only thing that i mentioned in my speach - that it has helped me decide what colour to do the fence !
as i was the driver to the hotel after the reception i didn't drink alcohol but i did drink gallons of tea that never came out the other end; so drink loads so that you don't get dehydrated.
Finally do enjoy the wedding night; i did and nine months later we have just had a baby boy who is a real star 🙂

only 70ish people coming to the wedding, which is on a farm in the peak district. civil ceremony, hog roast, live band, piss up

You marrying your sister?

Only kidding mate and have a good one. Best bit of advice I can give is to remember that its your day and that you will never keep everybody happy. Also, dont fall into the trap and take each other for granted after a few years.

Make sure you tell the bestman what you are up to..... I'm still trying to work out if I should tell my mate his newly wedded beloved propositioned me about 9 months before they went off & got married in secret. They'd been engaged for years & asked me to be best man but never got around to arranging anything - the only reason I didn't tell him was because I assumed I might just have some time to warn him off.....

Your wedding plans sound fantastic.

Just one more teeny thing.

On our wedding day, new hubby bought me a tiny present, some pearl earrings. I nearly cried with joy 'cos he's not really the romantic type. So I think a little gift for your new wife would go down very well.

Our wedding was the best day of our lives ( not so the honeymoon, but that's another story).

make sure you give your wife an orgasm on the wedding night
infact, she especially likes it if you stroke the small of her back very lightly 😈

seriously dont get p!ssed the night before , i look even worse than normal in some of my wedding pics
thanks to a reunion with my cousins/ uncles the night before

oh yeah and the wedding sounds ace

Make the most of the day it goes quick and it is a rare treat to have all facets of both of your lives relies and mates in the same place, even if they dont get on its your day so **** em
8 years on and two kids later I am more in love than ever and yes she STILL lets me go biking (although there is more discussion and less I'm off see you later)
Enjoy and try to have the speeches pre food so you can relax and enjoy after 😆

Some good stories coming out of the woodwork 🙂

keep them coming!

Dave

Don't get p155ed on the day, just have a few and take it easy.

Make a point of going up to guests you dislike ( or dislike you) and thank them for coming etc

Don't leave the party after the first dance, you'll miss the best bits of the day.

if there is a bust up at the party (and there will be at some point), DO NOT get involved.

Enjoy it (everyone else will if you will)

Don't drink too much - especially before your speech. Looking back, I had a bit too much to drink (but that had more to do with the hotel burning down, which I won't go into).

I don't usually respond to the 'any advice?' posts, but my wedding day was the best day of my life. It was actually amazing. I really enjoyed having the opportunity to talk about my wife infront of everyone in the world who actually meant something to me.

The best advice I can give about the speech is this:

1. It's the only opportunity you're going to get to stand infront of all of your family and friends, tell them what you're wife means to you and show them how well you've done! Enjoy that opportunity.
2. It's the best man's job to be funny, but try (although not too hard...) to show that you have a sense of humour! Let your wife's family and friends see exactly why she's chosen you.
3. You want her friends to know you're a top bloke and if you have any respect for your new Father/Mother In Law, you want to show them that you're going to look after their daughter for the rest of your life.
4. Give the in-laws a mention- dead easy for me as mine are absolutely brilliant (esp given that the first time I met them, it was a bit like the film 'Meet the Parents'...)
5. I wrote a speech and then practised and para-phrased on cards so as to use it only as pointers- DO NOT STAND THERE AND READ VERBATIM OFF A SCRIPT- it is truly crap!
6. Don't drink too much is good advice- have something to stop your leg shaking though!
7. Emotion is good and it was one of the most memorable parts of my day. Everyone (140+) had a little tear in their eye and as my best man said before he set off on his torrent of lies, banter and embellishment (!) "even the cake was in tiers"... [Groan....]
Good luck and have a great day.