[Closed] friends with benefits

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*lurks with biscuits and cup of tea*

lol jamie

I have had 'arrangements' like that when it has suited me, usually when i haven't got the time or when i am feeling particuarly commitment adverse. Can't see the problem with it tbh if it works why knock it . . . oh i forgot where i was for a minute, I will sit back and see the non offensive carefully considered opinions come in 🙂

It's a good way to lose a friend IME.

Serves a purpose as long as one party doesn't get more involved than the other. When it gets really awkward is when one of your school f*** buddies turns out to be your future wife's best mate (and also her maid of honour) awkward!

Had this situation when I left a long term relationship a few years ago, I didn't really want a GF at the time, and so it suited me. The cons outweighed the pros though eventually, she became a lot keener than I was, and I ended up hurting her, despite the fact that we'd agreed from the start what we both wanted.

I wouldn't do it again if I found myself in a similar situation.

Ha ha - is that why your called pic n mix?!

Is it not easier if you just pay them?

'friends with benefits' and 'How do you know when enough is enough in a marriage?' fighting for top position in the chat forum.

😯

Yes it can be great. It can also be awful. On the whole I wouldn't recommend it.

The cons outweighed the pros though eventually, she became a lot keener than I was, and I ended up hurting her, despite the fact that we'd agreed from the start what we both wanted.

^^^ this, every time ime

Best mate had this for a little while, made it clear there would never be a relationship. A bit later said person turned round and said they had fallen in love with him so he ended it then n there.

I had it for a little while with an ex who I had stopped loving but he still loved me, it was just making things harder n meant he never moved on so that ended quickly too!

it was just making things harder

Oh really? 😉

cbmotorsport. Exactly the same here.

I'd be more cautious if (hypothetical - married now) I was in the same situation now, but I can't say I'd definitely not be tempted, given a persuasive argument. Women can be as wily as men can be easily led!

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if it was Mila kunis then to hell with any disadvantages, I could live with them.

Yes it can be great. It can also be awful. On the whole I wouldn't recommend it.

Agreed in full.

can work, usually one part ends up getting hurt. Broke up with an ex years ago as neither of us wanted to be in a relationship at the time, sex continued for 6 months though!

Been there/done that. A relationship I was in broke up but we continued to play hide the sausage for a while. It all worked out fine in the end as we both moved on eventually (it helped that I moved town).

It's fun, it works (as long as the ground rules are in place) and it goes both ways.
I have one and I am one to several 🙂
Don't think of it as Sex - think of it as "Helping your friend have an orgasm".........

It's a good way to lose a friend IME.

It's a good way to lose the best friend you've ever had IME... 🙁

I have one and I am one to several

You are FatSimon AICMFP

I have always ended up getting hurt when in this situation.

When I had a guy who was a friend with benefits, we both ended up getting hurt. 🙁

More cons than pros?

Maybe some are pros...

It's a bit shit really.

Played this game for a while, at first it was amazing real monkey sex but for some unfathomable reason she started to develop feelings for me. No idea how as we saw each other maybe once a month. Well that was the end of that. No regrets really but having an emotional attachment to go with the physical side of things is much better.

Only possible if you've got more than one on the go IME, otherwise you start thinking about it too much and the other party starts entertaining thoughts that they can keep you all to themselves.
It shouldn't ever be compared to 'relationships', or used as a transitional period: then it's just a dysfunctional one-sided relationship without effective communication. Great way to stay in shape.

deadlydarcy - Member
I have always ended up getting hurt when in this situation.

When I had a guy who was a friend with benefits, we both ended up getting hurt.

and then...

Pigface - Member
Played this game for a while, at first it was amazing real monkey sex but for some unfathomable reason he started to develop feelings for me. No idea how as we saw each other maybe once a month. Well that was the end of that. No regrets really but having an emotional attachment to go with the physical side of things is much better.

So sad. So very, very sad.

🙁

wrecker - Member

It's a good way to lose a friend IME.

^^this too.

Sleepless night after sleepless night... 😐

Deadly and piggy sitting in a tree.... 😆

Jamie, loving your work Hun xx

I just can't help thinking about it too much - not for me.

Then again, I'm not a jump-in-the-sack-on-first-date kinda girl either so maybe there's a connection?

Rachel

Deadly and piggy sitting in a tree....

We've talked about it, but the distance and height differences were too hard to get past. 🙁

Yeah Rach easy to say, but y'know...legs, lips...hard to say no

Rach and Emsz, sitting in a tree...

😉

Ha ha - you might have a point, emsz - maybe I've just not met the right woman yet!! (although, as it happens, I think I might have - in Norwich of all places!)

Rachel

This thread is useless without pics...........

adjustablewench - Member
Ha ha - is that why your called pic n mix?!

Haha 😉

[i]Yes it can be great. It can also be awful. On the [s]w[/s]hole I would[s]n't[/s] recommend it.[/i]

To some degree.

Has she got a friend?

I seriously need to have a word with myself

**** off flashy 😆

Flashman is just jealous 😆

Norwich?

Rach, be careful. That there is bandit country. Bad shit happens up there, trust me on that.

Of you and deadly? I think he's always had a soft spot for him, maybe he wants to say something to everyone?

emsz - your pic on here might have something to do with it.....

play hide the sausage

It always ends in tears.

If folk are attracted to each other enough to bump nasties then at some point emotions will get involved and a decision will need to be made.

Having been a bit of a rogue in my 20s this sort of stuff eventually grinds you down and personally, the folk who can do it in a completely detached way generally lack empathy and display other traits also associated with sociopaths.

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Sausages properly hidden!

Norwich? I didn't know you had a cousin......

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It's AMAZING!!

I've had a couple, one was me and a friend helping each other out after both breaking up with other people. It was good for a while because she is a fu€king stunner but it started to get a little serious so we kinda broke it off.

The best was at university. There was a girl who called my room phone one night and asked me up for a drink. This was a badly thought out ruse because all she had to offer was sambuca, not really what I had in mind. I did end up drinking from her furry cup though so the night ended on a high! From that night forwards we ended up together most nights for about 3 months and it was perfect. She was a couple of years younger than me and whilst a lovely girl, neither of us wanted a relationship together, our interested were too different. She was quite happy to hang out with her friends while I was getting stoned and hanging out with mine and then I would go up to her room at about 01.00, have a shag, and fall asleep in a nice clean room with freshly laundered sheets. Perfect!!

we kinda broke it off

I hope the good folks in A&E managed to reattach it 😉

Only ever good experiences with FWB, 10/10, would recommend.

Maybe abit too much TMI but with a carnal/friends with benefits you tend to hold off your own orgasm as long as humanly possible- this makes it explosive. In your longterm/regular relationship you don't do this/forget/dont bother so you end up kidding yourself that 'sex is better/more intense with the casual-on-the-side thing'.

Faux.

Plus Friends with benefits always leads to a mind-****, worry, jobloss and hand-grenading someones relationship life in the deal.

Maybe abit too much TMI

Yep it was

Emotional depth of a bucket of sick

[i]Maybe abit too much TMI but with a carnal/friends with benefits [/i]

Initially read that as camel. I know they've lovely eyelashes but really... 🙂

emsz - Member
Emotional depth of a bucket of sick

That's the point though Emsz - mutually agreeable, fun, sexual, etc.
It's about enjoying each other for just that, no hang ups, no strings, no commitment, etc.
Several of my friends are now happily married/longterm from just those beginnings....
For others it's about just "being you" without regrets after very longterm relationships/marriage....

The conversation a work went nothing like this! O except for one party becoming emotionally involved & it ending in tears. Much like this thread I fear.

hora - Member

Maybe abit too much TMI but with a carnal/friends with benefits you tend to hold off your own orgasm as long as humanly possible- this makes it explosive. In your longterm/regular relationship you don't do this/forget/dont bother so you end up kidding yourself that 'sex is better/more intense with the casual-on-the-side thing'.

Mrs Hora is a lucky lady 😆

hammyuk - Member
emsz - your pic on here might have something to do with it.....

There's a pic? Where? (Don't tell me if I'd end up disappointed).

I have in fact organised a drunken night out soon, with a friend who I'd like to have benefits with. After a few drinks she says she'd like to have benefits too*. Problems is it'd be the end of my marriage.

Never happened to me when I was single when she had even more pert tits and arse than she does now, lifes such a a bummer.

*this is of course my interpretation of her body language.

Errrr.... just WT...F is hora on about..

...again? 😆

no_eyed_deer - Member
Errrr.... just WT...F is hora on about..

...again?

Lazy spaffing I believe.

no_eyed_deer- if you've ever been in such a situation and had an epiphany you'll know what I mean.

Mrs Hora is a lucky lady

[quote=no_eyed_deer ]Errrr.... just WT...F is hora on about..
...again?
It's amazing what they publish in hedgeporn these days

Kryton57 - Member
hammyuk - Member
emsz - your pic on here might have something to do with it.....
There's a pic? Where? (Don't tell me if I'd end up disappointed).

One word..........

Profile 😉

Originally thought this was going to be my mate is a plumber and came round to help me with a leaky pipe..

Then the grolsch advert started.

Having a FWB was one of the happiest times of my life. Some people just aren't relationship compatible but that doesn't mean they want a sexless life.

Mister P - Member
Having a FWB was one of the happiest times of my life. Some people just aren't relationship compatible but that doesn't mean they want a sexless life.

Just out of interest, a collegue of mine had a conversation with me (regarding a mental battle he's having) the other day which reversed that to:

[i]Being married is one of the happiest times of my life. Some people just aren't sexually active but that doesn't mean I want a sexless life.[/i]

Obviously he wants to pork something and isn't getting any at home, thoughts?

The love that dare not speak its name and they find you irresistible?

FWIW I have never felt Horas epiphany 😉

Kryton57

How does that sit with his vows? feel sorry for your colleague. Don't know what I would do in that situation...

I had a great FWB experience but in the end I couldn't put up with the excessive demands* plus the biting & scratching meant I had to keep covered up when my boys were at home for fear of embarrassing questions 😯

* may have been normal but I am a southern softy

So thats how southerners control the Badger population

manciman - Member
Kryton57
How does that sit with his vows? feel sorry for your colleague. Don't know what I would do in that situation...

Indeed. This revelation was during an emotional moment after a few beers. All I could offer was a few links to some pron websites I've heard of on the grape vine...

So thats how southerners control the Badger population

nah we generally run them over before we stuff them

Obviously he wants to pork something and isn't getting any at home, thoughts?

Well sometimes it can work quiet well. Had a gf, that lived a few blocks down from me. The sex was great, but the gf/bf thing not so much, so after a short while we separated. Met her after a while, went ot for a beer, one thing led to another... Then again no see for a few months, then going out for a beer and into the bed again. Happens once in a 4-6-8 months, depends if any of us is in a reltionship. This has been going on for about 9 years now (and we are eyeing the 30s now). Both of us had plenty of short or long term relationships inbetween. I always make fun of her awful bf choice.
We haven't even discussed trying getting together since the first time. I can't stand her as a gf, but short term is OK.
Haven't heard from her in a while, but last she started acting weird "Can't we be just friends?" Maybe cos she is closer to the said 30s. I hate it when they take away my benefits!

Worked fine for me. Ah happy memories...

Never heard of this ending well.

I suspect those saying 'it worked fine for me' might hear a different story from the other party.

As long as you don't confuse sex with love, and you both really are being honest about it, it's fine. I've had it work out, and I've had it not work, and I've been on both ends of the not working, and all in all I still reckon it's been good. (and when it didn't work, I can say 100% it was my fault and I knew it was the likely outcome anyway) It's not like you can avoid heartbreak/emotional messes in general so why miss out on good things, in order to try and avoid an unavoidable bad thing?