[Closed] friends with benefits

play hide the sausage

It always ends in tears.

If folk are attracted to each other enough to bump nasties then at some point emotions will get involved and a decision will need to be made.

Having been a bit of a rogue in my 20s this sort of stuff eventually grinds you down and personally, the folk who can do it in a completely detached way generally lack empathy and display other traits also associated with sociopaths.

[img] [/img]

Sausages properly hidden!

Norwich? I didn't know you had a cousin......

[img] [/img]

It's AMAZING!!

I've had a couple, one was me and a friend helping each other out after both breaking up with other people. It was good for a while because she is a fu€king stunner but it started to get a little serious so we kinda broke it off.

The best was at university. There was a girl who called my room phone one night and asked me up for a drink. This was a badly thought out ruse because all she had to offer was sambuca, not really what I had in mind. I did end up drinking from her furry cup though so the night ended on a high! From that night forwards we ended up together most nights for about 3 months and it was perfect. She was a couple of years younger than me and whilst a lovely girl, neither of us wanted a relationship together, our interested were too different. She was quite happy to hang out with her friends while I was getting stoned and hanging out with mine and then I would go up to her room at about 01.00, have a shag, and fall asleep in a nice clean room with freshly laundered sheets. Perfect!!

we kinda broke it off

I hope the good folks in A&E managed to reattach it 😉

Only ever good experiences with FWB, 10/10, would recommend.

Maybe abit too much TMI but with a carnal/friends with benefits you tend to hold off your own orgasm as long as humanly possible- this makes it explosive. In your longterm/regular relationship you don't do this/forget/dont bother so you end up kidding yourself that 'sex is better/more intense with the casual-on-the-side thing'.

Faux.

Plus Friends with benefits always leads to a mind-****, worry, jobloss and hand-grenading someones relationship life in the deal.

Maybe abit too much TMI

Yep it was

Emotional depth of a bucket of sick

[i]Maybe abit too much TMI but with a carnal/friends with benefits [/i]

Initially read that as camel. I know they've lovely eyelashes but really... 🙂

emsz - Member
Emotional depth of a bucket of sick

That's the point though Emsz - mutually agreeable, fun, sexual, etc.
It's about enjoying each other for just that, no hang ups, no strings, no commitment, etc.
Several of my friends are now happily married/longterm from just those beginnings....
For others it's about just "being you" without regrets after very longterm relationships/marriage....

The conversation a work went nothing like this! O except for one party becoming emotionally involved & it ending in tears. Much like this thread I fear.

hora - Member

Maybe abit too much TMI but with a carnal/friends with benefits you tend to hold off your own orgasm as long as humanly possible- this makes it explosive. In your longterm/regular relationship you don't do this/forget/dont bother so you end up kidding yourself that 'sex is better/more intense with the casual-on-the-side thing'.

Mrs Hora is a lucky lady 😆

hammyuk - Member
emsz - your pic on here might have something to do with it.....

There's a pic? Where? (Don't tell me if I'd end up disappointed).

I have in fact organised a drunken night out soon, with a friend who I'd like to have benefits with. After a few drinks she says she'd like to have benefits too*. Problems is it'd be the end of my marriage.

Never happened to me when I was single when she had even more pert tits and arse than she does now, lifes such a a bummer.

*this is of course my interpretation of her body language.

Errrr.... just WT...F is hora on about..

...again? 😆

no_eyed_deer - Member
Errrr.... just WT...F is hora on about..

...again?

Lazy spaffing I believe.

no_eyed_deer- if you've ever been in such a situation and had an epiphany you'll know what I mean.

Mrs Hora is a lucky lady

[quote=no_eyed_deer ]Errrr.... just WT...F is hora on about..
...again?
It's amazing what they publish in hedgeporn these days

Kryton57 - Member
hammyuk - Member
emsz - your pic on here might have something to do with it.....
There's a pic? Where? (Don't tell me if I'd end up disappointed).

One word..........

Profile 😉

Originally thought this was going to be my mate is a plumber and came round to help me with a leaky pipe..

Then the grolsch advert started.

Having a FWB was one of the happiest times of my life. Some people just aren't relationship compatible but that doesn't mean they want a sexless life.

Mister P - Member
Having a FWB was one of the happiest times of my life. Some people just aren't relationship compatible but that doesn't mean they want a sexless life.

Just out of interest, a collegue of mine had a conversation with me (regarding a mental battle he's having) the other day which reversed that to:

[i]Being married is one of the happiest times of my life. Some people just aren't sexually active but that doesn't mean I want a sexless life.[/i]

Obviously he wants to pork something and isn't getting any at home, thoughts?

The love that dare not speak its name and they find you irresistible?

FWIW I have never felt Horas epiphany 😉

Kryton57

How does that sit with his vows? feel sorry for your colleague. Don't know what I would do in that situation...

I had a great FWB experience but in the end I couldn't put up with the excessive demands* plus the biting & scratching meant I had to keep covered up when my boys were at home for fear of embarrassing questions 😯

* may have been normal but I am a southern softy

So thats how southerners control the Badger population

manciman - Member
Kryton57
How does that sit with his vows? feel sorry for your colleague. Don't know what I would do in that situation...

Indeed. This revelation was during an emotional moment after a few beers. All I could offer was a few links to some pron websites I've heard of on the grape vine...

So thats how southerners control the Badger population

nah we generally run them over before we stuff them

Obviously he wants to pork something and isn't getting any at home, thoughts?

Well sometimes it can work quiet well. Had a gf, that lived a few blocks down from me. The sex was great, but the gf/bf thing not so much, so after a short while we separated. Met her after a while, went ot for a beer, one thing led to another... Then again no see for a few months, then going out for a beer and into the bed again. Happens once in a 4-6-8 months, depends if any of us is in a reltionship. This has been going on for about 9 years now (and we are eyeing the 30s now). Both of us had plenty of short or long term relationships inbetween. I always make fun of her awful bf choice.
We haven't even discussed trying getting together since the first time. I can't stand her as a gf, but short term is OK.
Haven't heard from her in a while, but last she started acting weird "Can't we be just friends?" Maybe cos she is closer to the said 30s. I hate it when they take away my benefits!

Worked fine for me. Ah happy memories...

Never heard of this ending well.

I suspect those saying 'it worked fine for me' might hear a different story from the other party.

As long as you don't confuse sex with love, and you both really are being honest about it, it's fine. I've had it work out, and I've had it not work, and I've been on both ends of the not working, and all in all I still reckon it's been good. (and when it didn't work, I can say 100% it was my fault and I knew it was the likely outcome anyway) It's not like you can avoid heartbreak/emotional messes in general so why miss out on good things, in order to try and avoid an unavoidable bad thing?

Works fine as long as you both understand the arrangement, I've only done it the once lasted a couple of months, then I realised it wasn't really what I wanted, the guy was totally cool when I called it off, we are still mates and still hang out, not weird or awkward, and definitely no hurt feelings on either side.

[i]Never heard of this ending well.

I suspect those saying 'it worked fine for me' might hear a different story from the other party. [/i]

She is getting married to a mate of mine next month so I guess it worked out well for everyone in this instance.

Wheelie good you do realise that you are in his back-catalogue/**** bank and blokes readily dip into that on a regular basis though.

Hora, why would that bother me?

*hora is sat at his keyboard, mouth open and hand hovering over the keyboard not knowing what to say/type at that comeback*

😀

Never heard of this ending well.

It can be far worse than you can ever imagine. I tried this once and the end result has been that we've been married 18 years and got 3 kids!

Did I actually just render you speechless? A singletrack first? 😯

I've had a few of these since becoming single 5 years ago. Mostly younger women that I know through work, or non-social situations - definitely one of the advantages of being single in your 30s. They've always been instigated by the woman, and ground rules put in place first.
I'd say all except one ended because they got emotionally involved. The other - and the most enjoyable - ended because she moved back to Australia, but even she was starting to get a bit clingy.
She also had a few female FWBs, so it was a win-win situation for me, and I didn't end up with several bottles of shampoo in my shower... (and no, that's not a euphemism.)

Did I actually just render you speechless? A singletrack first?

[nods]

She is getting married to a mate of mine next month so I guess it worked out well for everyone in this instance.

Not sure the FWB changing to an actual full blown love with a marriage can be described as a success. The whole point was to not have a relationship but have sex surely - I speak as someone who has never done it mind.

As long as you don't confuse sex with love, and you both really are being honest about it, it's fine