[Closed] Expensive children

Of course it'll vary from family to family but for us it got much cheaper as they moved to school. Though  there are other things to spend money on

1K a month?

Rather you than me.

Think we were about £850 a month at the worst though of course some of that was covered with childcare vouchers.

Afterschool care is £8.50 per child per day at our school. Breakfast club is £3.50 pcpd. Childcare vouchers also go against that

My wife stopped working, not worth throwing it all away.   My bro and his wife have just done the same, she's not working.

Its hard, as it is with both working and nursery fees.

Nappies are the cost.  My two are 18 and 15, and still costing loads...

Welcome to being a parent...

Yep - partner has dropped to three days a week. Her wage basically goes on childcare. 😳

We have two in nursery and I hope that when they start school the 1k monthly nursery fees won’t be absorbed on “other stuff. “ Surely not?

You thought wrong x10.

Just wait until they are university age and you can really see how much they cost!

Afterschool care is £8.50 per child per day at our school. Breakfast club is £3.50 pcpd. Childcare vouchers also go against that

This.  Plus Summer & Easter Hols clubs (only so many days of annual leave) also able to be paid with vouchers, plus Ballet lessons, plus Karate lessons, plus Drum and Guitar lessons, plus Rugby & Swim club membership, plus Bike Race entries, bikes...

Thats why I'm sitting here with Tea and Goggle Box rather than a night out on the town...

Nappies are the cost. My two are 18 and 15, and still costing loads…

They're probably ready to try without - at least during the day

Childcare was £900 a month at its peak for us, frankly it was breaking me, but wasn’t much worse than the last 2 months of my Wife’s maternity leave which was statutory.

A few years later when eldest didn’t need after school club it dropped £120 a month, which was nice.

The year after youngest started school nursery, because of ‘wrap around charges’ it didn’t halve, but we saved a £150 more and was down to £600 or so.

She started full time school a few months ago, we still have to pay for after-school club and it’s about £150 a month which seems nothing now, we’re actually saving each month again which is nice.

I would have liked my wife to have worked less when she was little, but it wasn’t possible for a few reasons, in fact given my choice I would have waited a few more years before we had the second, but she wasn’t planned.

I do feel like we’re at the end of a very long tunnel.

They do still cost silly money, but I don’t see that sort of cost coming back till eldest is at Uni and that’s a big ‘if’ he’s not overly academic at the moment and I’ve been clear I’ll only support a Vocational degree under the current rules.

P jay that sounds familiar. I keep thinking; just one more year and it’ll drop a fair chunk.

Eldest is 15 - so far this year between Scouts, school trips and various music residentials he's been away 30 nights this year, his younger sister is comfortably into double figures.

I've managed 2.

Next year he's got World Scout Jamboree in the USA, his sister has a week in Austria for gymnastics. We look back fondly on the childcare years....

those saying they cost the same as nursery must be talking bollocks.  or they are spoiling they kids rotten.  even if you put them in before / after clubs that's £200ish pcm.  That's a good £550pcm less than our full time nursery (which is cheap here).  That's a lot of money on "clubs"

thing I do see going up quite a bit will be the food bill as my 2 boys grow.  they are already eating nearly as much as me at main meal. hopefully not by 550pcm...

I still expect to be better off than these nursery years.  until uni of course.  if they go, and I will only support them if they are doing a proper degree leading to a proper career.

When daughter No1 starts nursery next summer well we paying £1200 a month for 2 kids doing 3 days and that with our oldest getting 30 free hours!

Serious belt tightening is required and pension contributions have had to be stopped for a few years.

Wait till your daughter tells you she’d like to be a pilot. It’s a whole new world of financial pain

Some of the childminders around here are cleaning up on the after-school market charging £40+ for pickup and care 3:15-6:00!  That's basically £800/m.  Insane.

EDIT: that same figure doesn't always reduce even if your child attends an after school club, so you can be paying £40 for less than 2 hrs actual care!  And trust me, it's not always the loaded that are paying it.

my partner gave up work, we both wanted to do that and it seems no worse financially with a 3yo and 1yo. they love every minute being together.  However it does seem to us that the way things have changed in a generation is nuts.  costs, social norms, support, everything is very different and not for the better!

The transition from nursery to school brings other costs too - uniforms, shoes, more shoes, bags etc. Plus once your eldest is at school you stop being able to take holidays off season... Oh, and bikes, skateboards, scooters...

Account for it to be absorbed on 'other stuff' - which it will - and hope for some months to be less absorbent than previously.

Just don't count on it.

Nursery costs a grand a month, for 2 kids ?

My missus wants one of these things, I’m screwed :/

Nursery is roughly £450 per month for us to send our 2 yr old three days per week. Apparently I'm saving some of that by using the childcare vouchers available to NHS employees, but I just see my pay reduced by £243 per month and we top up the rest.

And this in the cheep and cheerful north west!!

We thought long and hard and in the end Mrs F gave up work to stay at home with Funk Jr. The plan was for her to return to work when he started school this year. We were both looking forward to a little extra cash when we got a surprise. Mrs F is now staying at home with Little Miss Funk.

It’s very difficult financially, but that’s having kids I guess.

My kids are 17 and 13 girl and boy.

I find the expense comes in waves but I don't think it ever gets as bad as the childcare, nappies and whole new wardrobe every 6 months again (except for uni).

It’s very difficult financially, but that’s having kids I guess

Yep, but I’m happy to be giving the middle period of my life to be giving 2 other humans beings the best start we can afford them - when I stop and think on that its humbling.

Mrs K stayed part time 3 days a week and although the net financial effect during nursery years wiped out her salary and of course some of mine, it meant she maintained a job/skills to carry on with now.

We didn’t have kids until I was 36, so with 10 years together as two full time professionals we were lucky to have enjoyed lots in our lives before out 2 came along.   And one day, we’ll be retiring and on our own again hopefully doing a few things we’d like to do at that age, with occasional visits from the rabble.  I know will will miss the noise and bustle.

All I can say is that I’m jealous of how much most of you seem to be paying for nursery. Little ginge is currently costing us £1200 a month in fees and that’s a with a discount for him only attending in term time ( Ms. Ginge is a teacher so keeps him home during the holidays).

Even if he was suddenly at university I can’t imagine him being any more expensive than he is now.

I've just bought my 13 year old son a new bike for Christmas it's not from Halfords unfortunately. D of E Gold for daughter next year is 450 and she's 17 in March so that'll be learning to drive time.....

P jay that sounds familiar. I keep thinking; just one more year and it’ll drop a fair chunk.

That seems to be the way it goes, I remember when it was £900 that “I’ll be rich when she starts school” I mean if you’re ‘suddenly’ saving £900 in expenses and you weren’t starving before you could lease a Cayman and still be quids in yeah? Doesn’t really work like that, because mostly leading a new Porsche unless the rest of your finances are ‘sorted’ is just daft and because it does drop a bit here and there it’s never that sudden.

I don’t regret a moment of it, but it was a glorious day when she started school back in Sept, the fact she took to it like a duck to water and loves it sealed the deal.

I'm enjoying the examples of older kids being expensive, no example up there is more than a single months full-time childcare down here (£1200/month), and most of the costs up there appear to be one-offs

Forgot to mention their birthdays are today and tomorrow! 😊

Lovely little things, I wouldn’t change it for the world of course.

We have two in nursery and I hope that when they start school the 1k monthly nursery fees

Thats a life decision point right there. 🍆👌

Dont you lot get tax credits for kids in nursery?

Thats what all the fuss is about isn’t it?

Change system, loose benefits 🤣🤷‍♂️

I’m enjoying the examples of older kids being expensive, no example up there is more than a single months full-time childcare down here (£1200/month), and most of the costs up there appear to be one-offs

Perhaps you should have given up work then or not had kids.

It's not just the money you pay out (school trip to NASA! I went to Isle of Wight....) but stuff like house choice. There is no way I would be living in a 4 bed house if I didn't have children, I'd be in a nice 2 up 2 down with the mortgage paid off and a chalet in the Alps...

In my day not every kid had to go on every exotic foreign school/club trip. It was just the rich kids. No loans and credit cards to pay for it all. Rest of us got a trip to North Devon if lucky (school was in South Devon) and even then some couldn't afford the few quid for the bus and lunches.

Childcare wasn't a thing back in the 70s either.

Yep, but I’m happy to be giving the middle period of my life to be giving 2 other humans beings the best start we can afford them – when I stop and think on that its humbling.

Completely agree with you on that front. I wouldn’t change it for the world. Just wish it could’ve been me that stays home. Feel like I miss a lot of firsts and little developments that Mrs F gets to witness.

My 2p (2 kids now age 10 and 8), we found that when they went from nursery to school, we had much more disposable income, as they get older and want/need more expensive stuff and start doing things like sports and going away on residentials your costs go up.

Also, you are limited to booking holidays during the school holidays*.

*most of the time.

In my day not every kid had to go on every exotic foreign school/club trip. It was just the rich kids.

Its still the same but this is stw, everyone is a well off IT consultant with and Audi, an Orange 5 and a woodburner they burn artisan logs on!

Expensive children?

Mine has been fighting like cat and dog for weeks, so if anyone wants them I'm open to offers.

Take a career break?!? and look after your own children...like you should, it's nice.

You thought wrong x10.

I disagree. We don't spend less now ours are both at school, but there's a lot of discretionary stuff we couldn't previously afford on top of nursery fees. Big difference.

Our eldest is 14 and at ballet boarding school, school fees plus Easter/ summer schools and extra lessons top out at £ 15 k per year and the government picks up the other half. Not had a proper holiday for four years and the new full suss I had approved two years ago never happened. Worth every penny seeing her perform at Saddlers Wells (famous balket venue) in the summer. The other one isnt cheap either, before and after school clubs plus tuition for the grammar school (local comp has been in special measures for 4 years) was £350 a month. He passed, again worth every penny. I shall be out on my 10 year old road bike in the morning and be happy.

tuition for the grammar school (local comp has been in special measures for 4 years) was £350 a month.

100% behind your decision but thats a sad state of affairs isnt it and the Tories want more Grammars, wondervwhy

Back in the day, you didn't have children until you could afford to keep them, and take time off work to look after your children, not palm the poor little bu66ers off on to someone else.  My kids would have hated me not being there for them.  Do folks not consider that maybe children need their parents?

And don't get me started on ridiculously expensive trips and holidays, most of you folk clearly have money to throw away, so stop whinging about it.

Back in the day, you didn’t have children until you could afford to keep them,

Do folks not consider that maybe children need their parents? Do folks not consider that maybe children need their parents?

What did you do for money? I'm assuming from your comment that your partner doesn't work either, and that you home school your children.

Her children have grown up and gone. She’s of retirement age currently enjoying quite a few trips, new house etc with her partner and as far as I know, neither work.  Nice.

She went through all this many decades ago and has failed to realise that times have changed, clearly.

Or potentially throwing a career away that you’ve spent years building and maybe throwing future money away?

Under a grand a month for nursery would be amazing - round here it’s £85 (plus £15 for every 15 mins you are late picking up). Then doubled by two kids under three. That’s £67k in gross salary right there.

Not Shouldn’t there be a link to the Savings thread and the the other one where “can you get your hands on a grand” thread?

This is ace.

Vilified for needing £5k a month income is proven that in today’s society, £5k a month is barely living wage.

Unfortunately its the challenge of modern life isn't it? We all want it all these days...the career, the money, the nice house and car, and the perfect Facebook family and not prepared to accept any of the compromises of achieving any of that, like the affect on peoples careers and pensions.

Kids are expensive and I'm a firm believer that parents and family need to take an active part in their bringing up...which means not only investing money in their kids bit the thing that is most important to the kids themselves....their parents time.

We were lucky, parents that lived near, both of us working for a company that gives generous maternity leave (but not paternity leave unfotunately), very flexible with part time working after having kids, so we managed to bring our kids upto school age by having them primarily looked after either by parents or grandparents. It's alot easier (though not less expensive) once all the kids are at school.

But it's difficult. I see some parents dropping their kids off at nursery at about 6 months, and I'm sure they're not doing that out of choice - I hope not anyway. Companies need to be more flexible across the board for both parents, and parents themselves need to accept that they have to make alot of compromises in their lives when kids come along. You might not be able to afford that nice car you wanted, you might not be able to invest so much of your income on a big mortgage for that fancy house and just live in a smaller one in a less expensive area, you may need to go camping in the UK for your holiday for a few years instead of an all inclusive hotel at an exotic location (kids would prefer that anyway), your career ambitions might need to take a delay for a few years.

I guess alot of us are that transition generation....brought up in the old 'traditional' family unit with a stay at home mum, but our reality and the future is one where both parents have to work and, probably get divorced or not even marry or live together at all. I'm not sure everything about progress is for the better.

to be fair nursery is only a couple of years.  our 2 are only in nursery 3 days a week as we chose for my wife to go part time.  we also chose for her to have a full year off with both as you don't get that time twice.  During this time our outgoings were £500pcm more than we were earning, and we both earn a good deal above the national average so some here would say "rich". currently feeling far from it.  no flash cars / holidays / bikes here.

this period has pretty much wiped out our savings just to stay afloat.  some serious belt tightening had been needed.

the eldest now has those free hours and our outgoings have reduced a significant margin.

it's your personal choice if when your child care cost reduce you then chose to spend it on super expensive trips sending them to the US and the like.  but it's not a necessity of having kids

There is no doubt expectationns  have been raised. A while back we wanted a marketing bod for the business so advertised the role as 9.30 to 15.00 and all school holidays off  i thought we would have loads of application's we got one. The person was looking to go back to work after a first child, we had pro rata the salary of £36k + full bonus of approx £5k so a sensible salary in the North of England. This added  to £18k+ for 25 hours a week and al school holidays off.

The one applicant said they wanted more hour's? As they could make an extra £4 an hour after child care costs.

Vilified for needing £5k a month income is proven that in today’s society, £5k a month is barely living wage.

Oh do grow up. I live in the South of england, have a kid and take home much less than that. We do fine!

Wobbliscott hits the nail on the head with

the thing that is most important to the kids themselves….their parents time.

But even that can kick you up the bum. An ex colleague of mine spent a fair bit of time & money on one of his sons who was a very promising swimmer. Early mornings at the pool & travelling all over the place for competitions for a few years only to be told by the lad one morning at 4.30am, 'don't think I'll go today Dad, can't be bothered anymore' & that was it.

Anyway, kids should be banned. there's far too many of them. The world population's going crackers & people are still churning them out.

Back in the day, you didn’t have children until you could afford to keep them, and take time off work to look after your children, not palm the poor little bu66ers off on to someone else.  My kids would have hated me not being there for them.  Do folks not consider that maybe children need their parents?

And don’t get me started on ridiculously expensive trips and holidays, most of you folk clearly have money to throw away, so stop whinging about it.

If only the people who could afford to stay at home and not rely on a nursery were the ones to have kids, then there'd be some sort of population crisis in this country within a generation, so few kids would be born.

Maybe we should all have the father working 12hr days, 6 days per week, whilst the mother stays at home cooking and doing the housework in a tiny 2 up 2 down whilst kids run around in tattered clothing playing with sticks, like back in the day. Oh yeah, it's 2018.

And nursery is not a bad thing, my daughter goes three days a week now and she loves it. She has friends there and it has made her so much more confident, speeded up potty training, brought her speech on. The difference we see in her and children who stay at home is remarkable (to us anyway.)

<div class="bbp-reply-author">Kryton57
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Her children have grown up and gone. She’s of retirement age currently enjoying quite a few trips, new house etc with her partner and as far as I know, neither work.  Nice.

She went through all this many decades ago and has failed to realise that times have changed, clearly.

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Your time will come, dear boy 😉  Also realise I had to lose both parents to gain this lifestyle 🙁

I think what I'm trying to say is people want too much these days, we didn't have two cars (obviously the kids and I had bikes), didn't go to exotic foreign destinations for our holidays (Wales in May was lovely and cheap for a few days, the kids loved it), didn't have take-aways and meals out, didn't  have all the latest "fad" toys.  I think it's a shame that the world of kids has become so materialistic/money driven.

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Back in the day, you didn’t have children until you could afford to keep them

Back in the day the cost of living was such that single income families were a more realistic prospect, but then the people of that day decided they deserved to ‘earn’ a 500% profit on their home, they’d sell every publicly owned utility and service for a quick buck, and get triple locked, gold plated final salary pensions and ask those children to pay for it all.

Thats why back in the day people could afford to have children in their early 20s and Mum could stay at home with them. But you know ‘glib comment about iPhones or Sky’ or whatever yeah?

Oh do grow up

I’ve grown up and made the right life choices thanks.

Fact of life though, as I said in that other thread.. £5k take home amount ain’t a lot to live a family on.

£5k take home amount ain’t a lot to live a family on.

Yet 90% of households seem to manage. You are just making yourself look like a stupid ignorant out of touch idiot by repeating it all the time.

Fact of life though, as I said in that other thread.. £5k take home amount ain’t a lot to live a family on.

What a load of piss. 5k take home a month, that must be 100k a year salary.

Or potentially throwing a career away that you’ve spent years building and maybe throwing future money away?

What rubbish. A proper parent looks after their kids first and thinks about themselves afterwards. And looking after doesn’t mean treating them with stuff, sending them on expensive trips and lessons and stuff.

We didn’t have an awesome house, we didn’t have a car for many years, I shared a bedroom until I was 17, we never went abroad on holidays etc etc cos my parents made the choice that one of them would give up work to look after us.

Kids really don’t care about how much money your household has.

Fact of life though, as I said in that other thread.. £5k take home amount ain’t a lot to live a family on.

What crap. You can’t really believe that can you? It really isn’t a “fact” is it?

Kids really don’t care about how much money your household has.

Oh I don't know, my 9yo came back from his mates house the other day and told us there house was better because it had 4 bedrooms and a bigger telly. 😀

Your time will come, dear boy.  Also realise I had to lose both parents to gain this lifestyle.

My respectful commiserations.  I recently lost mine and got F all.

A proper parent looks after their kids first and thinks about themselves afterwards. And looking after doesn’t mean treating them with stuff, sending them on expensive trips and lessons and stuff.

Well yes and no.  Having recently turned down a promotion myself, and with my wife turning down an increase to 5 days a week from 3 so we can enjoy Kid time I'd agree.  I'm lucky that my job is flexible and mostly my diary is within my own control, so I don't miss much.   Quite right, you cannot "buy" your kids time or love.

However, affording them sports, clubs etc is often to give them chances in life and social development.  Most of those may never amount to much, but some might.  E.g, we never knew Jnr would rise to British Academy Development swimming level at 9yo, but he loves it and enjoys the racing so there's now way I'm going to deny him that opportunity because I want to spend the money on a new Smart TV to keep up with the neighbours.

BTW anyone want to buy a TT bike...  🙁

I taught at an expensive private school some years back. There was a positive correlation between how much dosh was spent on the kids (mainly in competition with other parents) and the unhappiness of the child.

They instinctively knew it was more about their parents desire to show off than their well being.

They instinctively knew it was more about their parents desire to show off than their well being.

This is interesting.  There's a couple of parent we refer to as "the Chameleons".  This is because despite being a generally annoying couple from a personality perspective, they have a tendency to deliberately ingratiate themselves with people of any kind of perceived stature (teachers, coaches) and enter their kid into everything that someone else kid already does as a success - having purchased all the best gear for it.

There own friendships are short lived, and the kids a nightmare at school, constantly fighting having tantrums resulting in daily phone calls home from the school.

I think the child isn't as good at things as the parents would like him to be, so he's constantly "losing" amongst his peers.  He can't be himself, he has virtually no friends because of the tantrums, and is the kid that no one wants in a team.

The mum once told Mrs K the (9yo) child and dad have regular shouty/door slamming - both of them - arguments at home.

Sad.

Fact of life though, as I said in that other thread.. £5k take home amount ain’t a lot to live a family on.

Have I misread something? Is that 5K a month your'e talking about?

@P-Jay

spot on 👍

@kryton, yes working in that school certainly opened my eyes. Also, the relationship between the parents is often based on being able to satisfy The Image - if the husband loses his job, or the wife loses her looks, the relationship - which is at root a transaction - is over.

One poor girl's father went bankrupt, she had to leave the school as he couldn't pay the fees (why are these things registered charities!), and then the mother divorced him and got together with another, still solvent/wealthy dad at the school. Materialism in the place of love, and like I said, the kids often pick up on all this at an early age. Not a happy school overall, and perhaps it helps explain why the kids were really badly behaved (and I went to a bog standard school on a council estate, so that's saying something).

I'm kinda anal about budgeting, so here's my kids as a data point if that helps;

- 2 yr old - full time nursery - £1050 a month

- 5 yr old - breakfast club 4 days a week, after school club 5 days a week, about 20 days of holiday club a year = £282 a month (that's annual costs divided by 12 - obviously varies a bit between hols and term time)

I calculated that when the 2 yr old goes to school based nursery next Sept then with the 30 h free it will be £377 a month for equivalent hours to the 5 yr old (more as paying for hours over 30 h per week and lunches are not free).

Everyone is different and so are their situations. That been said we just couldn’t send our kids to nursery. It just felt fundamentally wrong to us. They still went / go to lots of groups and activities. Funk Jr went to preschool 2.5 days from the age of 3 and contrary to other posts, he was the most confident, outgoing kid there. Go figure confirmation bias.

We have very little in the way of possessions. Mrs F was a self employed advanced driving instructor and quit to stay at home. Not ridden my bike in few months because I need a new front brake and don’t have lights for night riding. My soffits need replacing amongst other house repairs. We live in a 2 bedroom house (me, Mrs F, one baby girl and toddler boy) with no foreseeable way of sizing up. Only have a car because the FiL is a semiretired mechanic.

None of that matters though because the kids (and Mrs F) are happy and healthy. I’d rather be skint and have Mrs F be with them than both of us work just to put them in nursery. I’m envious of Mrs F. To complain about the costs of nursery fees just seems bizarre and like it or not it is a choice. So stop complaining 😉

my child care for nursery 4 days a week is £56 every 4 weeks.  The extra expense is when they start eating the same take aways as you 🙁

Do folks not consider that maybe children need their parents?

Yes children need their parents but they also should have opportunities to explore what they can do. Parents don't palm children off at clubs because they can't be bothered with looking after them, they do it to give them opportunities to do more of the things they enjoy. I just wish my parents had the financial ability to allow me to do the things I desperately wanted to do as a child but they couldn't afford it. On the other hand, my wife grew up in a financially better off family unit and she (along with her two brothers) got to try things such as music, ballet, rugby, dance, horse riding etc. She found she really enjoyed music and ended up (along with her younger brother) playing instruments to concert level (Grade 5 I believe) and is now using her skills to help support the teaching our girls get in their music lessons. The only music I managed was self-funded bass guitar lessons when I was 18 and received a small amount of money from my grandparents (from which I bough the guitar too).

kids are expensive yes and there's been a few times where I've pictured my life without them, wealthier in time and money, but then my 2yr old just learning to talk says 'I lub you daddy' and that is a worth beyond all monetary value. 🙂

Fact of life though, as I said in that other thread.. £5k take home amount ain’t a lot to live a family on.

Have I misread something? Is that 5K a month your’e talking about?

No, you’ve not missed anything.

That is indeed £5k take home a month.

If all the support benefits (tax credits/child/income support/child care) allowances were to stop today, right now, I reckon a family would need £5k a month to live on.

We are really lucky. Our 4 year old used to go to a childminder to allow my wife to work part time and then went to a pre-school. It used to cost about £300 a month but would reduce with the 30 hours free. My wife now has a job that starts at 9.30 and finishes at 1.30 and he is at school so childcare costs are zero at the moment. He goes to one after school club out of choice on a Thursday (it is a sports session so he asked to go to it) which costs us £3 a week.

Other than that at the moment he is prob the lowest cost since we had him (no more nappies etc, eats tea with us). I expect that to change but we are all home from work/school by 3.45 every day and get to spend loads of time as a family whilst maintaining a comfortable income. The strange at the moment is when the wife and I are home on a Thursday and the little guy isn't there!

but then my 2yr old just learning to talk says ‘I lub you daddy’

Fast forward 7 years - one of my little darlings found my Dyno printer, printed out and successfully stuck on my back 'Kick me in the but because I am dum'. I was most annoyed at the spelling errors TBF 🙂

No, you’ve not missed anything.

That is indeed £5k take home a month.

If all the support benefits (tax credits/child/income support/child care) allowances were to stop today, right now, I reckon a family would need £5k a month to live on.

You're pretty wrong there.   I don't take home that much and I'd suspect nor do most here, but a lot of us manage Ok.

That is indeed £5k take home a month.

If all the support benefits (tax credits/child/income support/child care) allowances were to stop today, right now, I reckon a family would need £5k a month to live on.

For 2015-16, a net income of £5K a month would put you around the 96th percentile of earners.

Or, if that's 2 salaries combined, you'd be in the 82nd percentile of households.

It's been a few years since I was on tax credits but i can assure you that it didn't bring me up to the level of a 96th percentile earner.

It's definitely better once they get to school - we didn't use nursery beyond the free 15 hours to 'socialise' but now they are at school Mrs B is working 3 days so we can cover the new costs there plus some.

However they don't feel cheaper if you stop for supper at Pizza Express once they are beyond the child menus :-O

So glad I didn't outsource full-time childcare to a nursery, frankly it sounds unkind.  From birth to starting school are the most amazing years and wouldn't have missed it for the world.  Actually it's rather nice now to hear my adult kids talking fondly about their childhood.