[Closed] Don't Order a Mojito

PIna Colager (which I'm not 100% sure of the spec, but IPA + malibu + pineapple + lime, I think).

You filthy animal, do people actually buy that?

Well, felix, I'd pay you a visit, but I'm teetotal so it'd be lost on me.

I like your shoes Felix.

PIna Colager

*like* 😀

PIna Colager

That sounds rank (but then I cannot abide Malibu), but I doff my hat to you for the name. I'd have been proud of that one.

Jinx.

I'm going down that London next weekend, might give you a visit...

Do you do mild?

felix, I just clicked that link to your FB page, we have some mutual friends, they're all in the same trade.

Beergroni or the PIna Colager

As a joke I was going to say pint sized cocktail = cheeky vimto. But then I checked and it turns out people actually do consider a pint of cheeky vimto to be a legit cocktail. So then I tried the same with turboshandy. Yup, same thing.

Next you'll be telling me that buying a 3 litre bottle of white lightning and a half bottle of grants vodka from Spar, necking some of the cider then pouring the voddy into it is a cocktail. Shider vodka pleash barman, shaken not schtirred. No, don't shake it, it'kk eckshplode

(for the correct ambiance, drink it while sat on a burned out nova)

Jus' clicked through to see the last page of this, from the top of the first...

WT actual F...?

This place is w.e.i.r.d at times

I'm guessing we can now add

#pretentious
#bellend

to the list of STW tropes: #audi, #IT, #middle-management; #orange5; #wood-burner; #lefty

I would probably hit a few of those at least! 😀

Summary,

1) STW assembles to mock a man they don't know based on an online article which presented him as a bit of a pretentious arse.

2) Said arse turns out to be a forum member, good humoured and probably not an arse after all.

3) STW coughs, looks at its shoes and then pretends to hear its mother calling.

All I wanted was a pint of mild.
Without Malibu in it...

https://twitter.com/ManhattansPRJCT/status/649973382503661568

"New on the menu: House Mojito: Bourbon, mint, sugar syrup all mixed up with crushed ice. Refreshing and delicious."

teehee!

He should've called it the STW.

Joking aside,

There's a reason classic cocktails have endured. I'm all for trying new approaches and "we've always done it this way" is the worst reason to do anything, but that implies that there's something wrong with, say, an old fashioned Old Fashioned. And that's just fallacious.

Making a good quality classic cocktail is just as much of a skill as making something new, a fact sadly lost in a lot of chains who think they can throw some fruit juice and Tesco Value spirits in a glass and call it a margarita. There is definitely room for both.

I'm far from a cocktail expert, but I have a friend who is competition-winningly good with them. His blog's well worth a read: http://sybarwand.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Cocktails

2) Said arse turns[b] out to be a forum member,[/b] good humoured and probably not an arse after all.

This bits a surprise to no one

[quote="BillMC"]How much do you pay your bar staff then?
I'd hope their hourly wage is more than the price of one of his cocktails.

But it's probably not.

@sundayjumper wages vary, and are topped up with service charge (something I'm personally not very down with, but unfortunately I have to coexist with the restaurant). But starting at 8.50/hr, up to 10.50/hr, and most of the staff get £1-2/hr top up with service charge.

We're considering dropping the service charge and bumping our prices so we can guarantee our staff a higher wage, but the staff will get final say on that.

2) Said arse turns out to be a forum member

That only uses the classified section to shift bike frames that sound like cocktails.

To be fair, I have bought some stuff on the forums too 🙂

What whisky makes the best manhatten then?

do you do yours otr or straight?

and could I have an extra cherry?

Can you do me an Orange Crush? With Bloody Mary bars?
Or a Cove Long Slow Screw Against The Wall?
Santa Cruz Highball maybe?

(This thread actually gave me a headache trying not to laugh in the office)

Well, the first mistake was talking to a Vice "journalist".........

Hang about, you faux ****ing hipster douche. I'll walk right into your bar stare you in the eye and order a Mojito. Why? Well, first you've told me not too, so unless you somehow think I give a **** about what you say, you can go **** yourself. Two; I quite ****ing like Mojitos, so get your ****ing shake on and serve me my ****ing drink you ponce.

That just escalated.

Haha. I forgot to add smileys!

Hang about, you faux * hipster douche. I'll walk right into your bar stare you in the eye and order a Mojito. Why? Well, first you've told me not too, so unless you somehow think I give a * about what you say, you can go * yourself. Two; I quite * like Mojitos, so get your * shake on and serve me my * drink you ponce.

Jesus christ. Are you for real?

I think you could probably do with laying off the booze mate.

🙂