Forum search & shortcuts

Don't Order a ...
 

[Closed] Don't Order a Mojito

Posts: 9440
Full Member
 

Count yourself lucky. I'm in Accrington

tbh, you didn't need to add anything else.


 
Posted : 01/10/2015 7:01 pm
Posts: 78655
Full Member
 

Good point, well made.


 
Posted : 01/10/2015 7:07 pm
Posts: 24885
Free Member
 

I love cocktails. Trouble is, having been brought up on pints I gauge my intake through volume; as a consequence most cocktail nights I've been to usually end up with me staggering home about 30 minutes after arriving.

Do you do any that can be drunk in pint qtys that wouldn't involve the loss of all control over bodily functions, or run up a debt to shame a small country?

And if you can get down to Woking or Guildford by train I'll pick you up and show you around the decent trails near Swinley that aren't Swinley. And rather than a bar tab, I'll settle for a pint afterwards.


 
Posted : 01/10/2015 7:26 pm
Posts: 21027
 

Do you do any that can be drunk in pint qtys that wouldn't involve the loss of all control over bodily functions, or run up a debt to shame a small country?

Lager top?


 
Posted : 01/10/2015 7:27 pm
Posts: 24885
Free Member
 

That's not a cocktail, that's a strong shandy.


 
Posted : 01/10/2015 7:28 pm
Posts: 21027
 

That's not a cocktail, that's a strong shandy.

Play on an old joke.

southern yuppie type goes into a glasweigan pub..
'I'll have a lager top, please.'

gruff glasweigan landord..
'We donnay do cocktails...'


 
Posted : 01/10/2015 7:37 pm
Posts: 78655
Full Member
 

I love cocktails. Trouble is,

Trouble is, many "cocktail bars" charge silly money for half a pint of fruit juice with homeopathic amounts of alcohol.

Niche aside, I'd cheerfully pay good money for proper cocktails made by people who know what they're doing.


 
Posted : 01/10/2015 7:39 pm
Posts: 28593
Free Member
 

£1 from each drink goes to the Anthony Nolan blood cancer charity. Of course, I OKed it with him first—he thinks it’s hilarious.

That must've taken some doing. Seance?


 
Posted : 01/10/2015 7:41 pm
Posts: 21027
 

Trouble is, many "cocktail bars" charge silly money for half a pint of fruit juice with homeopathic amounts of alcohol

This. I want my cocktail to be a shit ton of booze with just enough flavouring to stop it tasting like avgas.

Long island iced tea is a favourite *hic* 🙂


 
Posted : 01/10/2015 7:45 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Hey Felix, make me a ****ing MOHEETOW!!!
Joking! fair play for chipping in and taking it all so well.


 
Posted : 01/10/2015 8:00 pm
Posts: 24885
Free Member
 

I'd cheerfully pay good money for proper cocktails made by people who know what they're doing.

I think you'll find that's what they call a 'Mixologist'


 
Posted : 01/10/2015 8:02 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Should've opened with the 'No Tories' rule 🙂


 
Posted : 01/10/2015 8:10 pm
Posts: 0
Full Member
 

Gawd you lot.

You just hate anyone with a bit of flavour and spike about them dontcha...

I think he has a point, a point well made and yes I'd go and share a cocktail over there..


 
Posted : 01/10/2015 8:41 pm
Posts: 4155
Free Member
 

What I wanna know is Felix really your name ?

Are you sure you haven't made it up ?


 
Posted : 01/10/2015 9:00 pm
Posts: 11605
Free Member
 

£1 from each drink goes to the Anthony Nolan blood cancer charity. Of course, I OKed it with him first—he thinks it’s hilarious.
That must've taken some doing. Seance?

Probably not, it was John Underwood that was being referred to. Do try to keep up at the back 😛

Thread of the night BTW, one of many pretentious arseholes turns out to be a cocktail bartender, couldn't make it up... 😉


 
Posted : 01/10/2015 9:09 pm
Posts: 9242
Full Member
 

Good comeback from Mr Cohen!


 
Posted : 01/10/2015 9:44 pm
Posts: 14490
Free Member
 

I actually read the article as a bit of a light hearted piss take


 
Posted : 01/10/2015 10:10 pm
Posts: 1
Free Member
 

It's a wind up. Bellends like that would have been rubbed out before achieving bartender age, surely.


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 5:34 am
Posts: 7128
Free Member
 

It’s weird being hard-left wing in a luxury industry but I try my hardest.

How much do you pay your bar staff then?


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 7:37 am
Posts: 0
Full Member
 

Apart from disagreeing about Mojito's , I'm with Felix.
Bravo chap.
What day is your day off? 😀


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 7:50 am
Posts: 1442
Free Member
 

This thread just shows how provincial most of you are with a guillable attitude to how media/journalism works. 🙄
Might pop in with the lady and order an old fashioned and a martini, if you can't do the basics well.... 😉


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 8:00 am
Posts: 1421
Free Member
 

Count yourself lucky. I'm in Accrington

tbh, you didn't need to add anything else.

At least you're not in Oswaldtwistle!


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 9:39 am
 mboy
Posts: 12662
Free Member
 

When you click open a harmless looking singletrackworld thread to glaze over for a moment whilst sat on the bog, and then 45 minutes later you're still crying and you're late for work!

Oops 😳


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 9:43 am
Posts: 91174
Free Member
 

Quality STW moment, well done everyone 🙂

However

And we *are* called Manhattans Project

Anyone else think that's in poor taste?


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 10:05 am
Posts: 17313
Free Member
 

And we *are* called Manhattans Project
Anyone else think that's in poor taste?

I am become "mixologist". The destroyer of pints.


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 10:07 am
Posts: 10341
Free Member
 

Fantastic bit of morning reading - thank you everyone!


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 10:16 am
Posts: 66129
Full Member
 

Manhattans Project is a great name. Split the beer atom!

I think bad taste would be complaining about the name, while living in a nuclear armed state, tbh 😆


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 10:18 am
Posts: 91174
Free Member
 

I am become "mixologist". The destroyer of pints.

That, on the other hand, was funny.


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 10:24 am
Posts: 78655
Full Member
 

At least you're not in Oswaldtwistle!

Ozzy would be an upgrade.

Actually, Beirut would be an upgrade.


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 10:25 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

£1 from each drink goes to the Anthony Nolan blood cancer charity. Of course, I OKed it with him first—he thinks it’s hilarious.

They cost more than a quid each!!!!!??!


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 11:02 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Re the name being in bad taste...I do hear where you're coming from. I've had lots of chats with people wiser and more right on than me about it. We're not celebrating the Manhattan Project in any way (unlike, say Death Row Dinners), it's just a pun on the drink name (bear in mind this was originally just supposed to be my blog about Manhattans in london) that's got a bit out of hand. We do not endorse nuclear war!


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 11:41 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

@kimber the molecular mixology 'thing' comes from molecular gastronomy (ie Heston etc). I do get to play with a lot of acids/enzymes/rotovap, and I'm saving up for a centrifuge, but yep, not trying to pretend I'm a biochemist.


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 11:42 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

For those of you looking for pint size cocktails that don't blow the bank, there's always the Beergroni (pint of decent IPA with a shot of campari and a shot of sweet vermouth) or the PIna Colager (which I'm not 100% sure of the spec, but IPA + malibu + pineapple + lime, I think).


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 11:43 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

Surely someone can lay into me for running 1x10 with a chain device or something worthwhile, anyway 😉


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 11:45 am
Posts: 17313
Free Member
 

We do not endorse nuclear war!

.....but we do recommend you try the "Global Thermonuclear Apocalypse"
It's one part Russian vodka, two parts American Cream Soda with an Israeli fig, served in a China teacup and accompanied by a Syrian hamster. All over I.S. 😯


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 11:48 am
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

PIna Colager (which I'm not 100% sure of the spec, but IPA + malibu + pineapple + lime, I think).

You filthy animal, do people actually buy that?


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 12:01 pm
Posts: 91174
Free Member
 

Well, felix, I'd pay you a visit, but I'm teetotal so it'd be lost on me.


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 12:04 pm
Posts: 23384
Full Member
 

I like your shoes Felix.


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 12:07 pm
Posts: 31075
Free Member
 

PIna Colager

*like* 😀


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 12:07 pm
Posts: 78655
Full Member
 

PIna Colager

That sounds rank (but then I cannot abide Malibu), but I doff my hat to you for the name. I'd have been proud of that one.


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 12:08 pm
Posts: 78655
Full Member
 

Jinx.


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 12:08 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

I'm going down that London next weekend, might give you a visit...

Do you do mild?


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 1:47 pm
Posts: 0
Free Member
 

felix, I just clicked that link to your FB page, we have some mutual friends, they're all in the same trade.


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 1:55 pm
Posts: 0
Full Member
 

Beergroni or the PIna Colager

Hmm I think [url= http://thepublandlord.com/ ]the pub landlord[/url] would have some choice words on those combo'


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 2:52 pm
Posts: 66129
Full Member
 

As a joke I was going to say pint sized cocktail = cheeky vimto. But then I checked and it turns out people actually do consider a pint of cheeky vimto to be a legit cocktail. So then I tried the same with turboshandy. Yup, same thing.

Next you'll be telling me that buying a 3 litre bottle of white lightning and a half bottle of grants vodka from Spar, necking some of the cider then pouring the voddy into it is a cocktail. Shider vodka pleash barman, shaken not schtirred. No, don't shake it, it'kk eckshplode

(for the correct ambiance, drink it while sat on a burned out nova)


 
Posted : 02/10/2015 3:00 pm
Page 2 / 3