[Closed] Dont call me Babe.

or do we believe the right wing frothers such as McBoo

No I attacked him first. I called him a po-faced, humourless, supercilious, patronising old bore.

Clearly nothing could be further from the truth. I withdraw the accusation without question.

TJ.. The fact that a few people don't like something doesn't automatically make it wrong.

My elderly mother calls EVERYONE 'babe'. She isn't on some power trip or committing a hate crime. To most normal people she's simply being friendly. That the odd person doesn't like it is their problem.

I actually find your aloof championing of the minority voice quite demeaning to them and frankly, much ruder. Doubt that will make a difference though eh bruv.

same with my mum, and you've written my thoughts.... are we bothers bruv?

[i]And we now have the full set with a "PC gone mad" complaint[/i]

I assume that was pointed at me, however that's not what I said.

Some people do not like terms of endearment from people they don't know, they may for instance find it belittleing and demeaning. Fine. I don't really understand why, as mostly it is used in good spirit and with no negative connotations, but that's not the point, they are entitled to their view.

[i]It belittleing and demeaning and disrespectful to refer to someone you don't know by a term of endearment. It says "I am more powerful than you" [/i]

Is still, however, patently untrue, like blackboards and ba-ba-blacksheeps are not racist. It's the same for of political correctness in both cases that tells people that they [b]should be[/b] offended by something that they never thought to be offended by before.

So answer my point TJ. I don't like being called "Sir". I find it offensive.

It is a term of deference derived from "Sire" or "My Lord".
I'm offended that anyone thinks I would demand such a servile from of address.

So now I've made my objection known will you please avoid this offensive behaviour TJ and instead refer to me using the more equal term of "love" or "babe".

Thanks.

The psychology of treating someone 'friendlier' than you actually are is some power display thing, it's done in politics a lot (e.g. one politician putting his arm round another one... Bush jnr. has done that a lot)

Christ on a bendybus! I'm so bloody mad now!!! I've just realised that My entire day consists of being constantly belittled!

What makes it worse is the people who do it are smiling as they do it. They seemed so nice. The bastards!

I'm moving out of the North West to London. I'm going somewhere where the people I encounter are just rude, impolite or mute and uncommunicative. At least they're showing me some bloody respect

blackboards and ba-ba-blacksheeps are not racist.

To be fair, I'm not sure anyone (sane) has ever really said they are. It was just a typical "PC-Gorn-MAd" story that certain papers love to print, sweety.

My female boss calls me, and the three other men on our team, "petal". It's more baffling than insulting.

It's a north east thing apparently.

the thing that upsets me mostest is when women refer to mens underwear as knickers. who can i write to?

David Beckham?

[i]I'm moving out of the North West to London. I'm going somewhere where the people I encounter are just rude, impolite or mute and uncommunicative. At least they're showing me some bloody respect [/i]

I hated being back in the North West at the weekend, people I'd never met were hideously disrespectful to me in pubs, shops, on the street, standing in a queue for the bogs.

I mean, the temerity of being friendly to a stranger, I'd have them all whipped.

[i]To be fair, I'm not sure anyone (sane) has ever really said they are. It was just a typical "PC-Gorn-MAd" story that certain papers love to print, sweety. [/i]

Yeah, you may have a point, but you get mine, honeybun.

emsz - Member

I hate being called 'babe', or 'sweetheart' by blokes, [b]but i don't mind 'love' from old dears on the checkout though[/b]. [b]there's a bloke on the train station that calls everyone "me duck" which is ok.[/b] Hate being complimented by strangers as well, very creepy

And yet TJ claims:

Can yo really not see how belittleing it can be? [b]Note all the women posting on here dislike it.[/b]

Maybe thats the intent but its not a cultural difference - [b]note all the women on here dislike it.[/b]

[b]It belittleing and demeaning and disrespectful to refer to someone you don't know by a term of endearment.[/b] It says "I am more powerful than you"

and once again this overtly 'average' country rules the majority by the minority.

People are dying in eastern europe due to severe cold conditions, people dying in third world with severe malnutrition - but someone innocently calls a woman 'love' on a bus and it's headline news.

FFS - just sayin

's all about context, innit. It's quite possible to use terms address like 'love' in a sleazy, sexist way; it's equally possible to use it perfectly innocently.

There's an old woman on the supermarket checkouts here who uses 'love' about every third word. "Twenty quid, love. Have you got a club card love? Thanks love, there you go love. Pop your card in love, PIN and enter love, thanks love, bye love." I'm pretty sure that she's neither declaring unwarranted sexual desire towards every customer she meets, nor establishing her position of power over us all from behind the till. Moreover, I suspect she'd be mortified if she thought for a second that anyone might think that.

On the other hand, a lad outside a pub with a small lake's worth of Stella sloshing around inside him, bellowing "bloody hell love, you don't get many of them to a pound, do you want me to weigh 'em?" as you walk past, probably has entirely different motivations for saying it.

Context. Just because it can be inappropriate doesn't mean it automatically is.

[i]Just because it can be inappropriate doesn't mean it automatically is.[/i]

Indeed.

cougar, my man, you fine fellow, babe..... we've tried putting forward to context point several pages ago bruv, but the threads past the point of making good points darling.

alright my lover? got it bro?

(you should notice i wont be disrespectful enough to call you sir. oh and i quite like being told by random men outside pubs they couldn't get many of mine for a pound, makes me feel expensive)

's all about context, innit.

This should be the end of the thread really.

GrahamS - Member
blackboards and ba-ba-blacksheeps are not racist.
To be fair, I'm not sure anyone (sane) has ever really said they are. It was just a typical "PC-Gorn-MAd" story that certain papers love to print, sweety.

In a similar vain, I remember several years ago (probably about 10 now), they (whoever they are) tried to get Blackbird Hill & the Pub called the Blackbird (at the top of Blackbird Hill) in Neasden changed to Greybird Hill & The Greybird.
Yes, really. They didn't get very far though.

This is an amazing thread.

It has opened my eyes to the daily demeaning & belittling that I face every time one of those women in Tesco's calls me love, dear, sweetheart........oh and petal that someone mentioned above.
I'm a red blooded man for god sakes! I am not your sweetheart and next time you refer to me as such I will strike you down with my Tesco Finest Chocolate Brioche and see how you like a bit of belittling yourself.....

Ha. Take that.

Jamie - Member

sugar balls.

😆

I am not your sweetheart and next time you refer to me as such I will strike you down with my Tesco Finest Chocolate Brioche and see how you like a bit of belittling yourself.....

Just let them know that our guardian of PC thinking says it is far less belittling if they refer to you as "My Lord".

Brioche?

Qu'ils mangent de la brioche.....

Well, if you're buying your brioche from Tesco you deserve everything you get darling.

IHN - Member
Well, if you're buying your brioche from Tesco you deserve everything you get darling.

I ain't your darling.....geeza.

Tesco [b]FINEST[/b]. Not just any old Brioche for chez Stumpy01...

😆

Tesco Finest = Waitrose Floorsweepings. FACT 🙂

*hides Iceland brioche wrapper*

Icelands don't sell brioche.

That's just a sponge finger that's gone off a bit, candycock.

grum - Member

's all about context, innit.

This should be the end of the thread really.

Really? Cause page 1 you were indignant with rage about the "culture of belittlement".

Do you not think that stepping in and speaking on their behalf is not in itself somewhat patronizing?

How on earth could it be called patronizing to implore you to take the views of females seriously?

Still DS you just argue with TJ as it makes you a man
] Do you actually expect to change TJ DS? - can I call you King Canute [ if only for the fun of the typos I can have misspelling your new name?]

Still DS you just argue with TJ as it makes you a man

No, he's just asserting his position of authority.

mountain chub - Member

People are dying in eastern europe due to severe cold conditions, people dying in third world with severe malnutrition - but someone innocently calls a woman 'love' on a bus and it's headline news

It was 'babe'.

A man saying 'Alright babe' to a woman has different connotations than 'Alright love'.

'Babe' to me is a term that references sexual attractiveness so I can see why some ladies may find in inappropiate. If I'm speaking to someone on the phone I'll use 'Sir' or 'Madam' and face to face I'm pretty sure I've never used 'love' 'babe' 'darling' etc to someone I don't know.

Junkyard - Member

How on earth could it be called patronizing to implore you to take the views of females seriously?

I took the patronising comment to mean that it was patronising towards women to jump in and assume that they cannot fight their own corner, like a knight in shining armour.....rather than it being patronising to DS that he should consider the views of females and take them seriously.....

Is that clearer, Sweetie??

'Babe' to me is a term that references sexual attractiveness

So when elzorillo and philconsequence's elderly mother calls you babe, you think that means she is sexually attracted to you?

In fact she "calls everyone babe" apparently.

So I think you just called their elderly mother a slapper?

Is that right darling?

I'm guessing "sugartits" would probably fall outside the bounds of acceptability.

I was once passed by a rider who shouted, "Elite rider passing on your right, sugar tits", but it was my husband, so I let it slide.

I dislike being called 'babe'. I don't have much of a problem with duck, chuck, pet, petal or me dear, because they all sound like they can be applied to both men and women equally, although I’d question their use by strangers or colleagues in formal circumstances.

It might be a regional thing, but for me using ‘babe’ as a term of endearment comes off as being a bit sleazy and sexualised. It makes me think of the Daily Star and Nuts magazine, and of convention Booth Babes. Booth ducks would be awesome though.

* sashays into thread *

Make my day guys - call me 'Babe'.

* waits excitedly *

Mrs Toast - Member

I was once passed by a rider who shouted, "Elite rider passing on your right, sugar tits", but it was my husband, so I let it slide.

He does that to everyone.

using ‘babe’ as a term of endearment comes off as being a bit sleazy and sexualised

I'm getting more and more interested in meeting elzorillo and philconsequence's elderly mother. She must be a right go-er. 😀

CG - you're a babe

my mum is indeed a right go-er, once had a to break into a car after a cheeky meet up for outdoor rumpypumpy on top of a clif ended up with them locking the keys inside the car! 😆

but that's not the reason she calls people babe, its the same as me calling people dude... only ever intended as a friendly thing, nothing sexual. personally i think 'honey' has as many sexual connotations as 'babe' (high street honeys for example) and as a result its not a term i'd use when chatting to teh laydeez. but i wouldn't batter an eyelid if a lady called me honey or babe, despite knowing they probably want me willy, it'd be incredibly self-centered and up-myself to assume so.

GrahamS - Member

"'Babe' to me is a term that references sexual attractiveness"

So when elzorillo and philconsequence's elderly mother calls you babe, you think that means she is sexually attracted to you?

In fact she "calls everyone babe" apparently.

So I think you just called their elderly mother a slapper?

Is that right darling?

🙄

I'd love too CG, but apparently that'd be belittling you. I'm sorry, but I've just too much respect for you

Sorry 😳

@cg:

Good afternoon Ms, Could I trouble you with a question regarding the number of those which you could obtain for the sum of one English pound, if I may make so bold?

stumpy01
I took the patronising comment to mean that it was patronising towards women to jump in and assume that they cannot fight their own corner, like a knight in shining armour..

That would be a bit patronising if thats what I had done. However its not what I did as is clear if you actually read the thread.

I think the views of the women posting on this thread say it all.

I think the views of the women posting on this thread say it all.

cinnamon_girl - Member

* sashays into thread *

Make my day guys - call me 'Babe'.

Me too TJ, My Lord.

Alright sweet cheeks. You're back then? Where's my brew?

*slaps TJ's arse*

*cops a feel*

I took the patronising comment to mean that it was patronising towards women to jump in and assume that they cannot fight their own corner, like a knight in shining armour

I resisted this thread till now.

It turned out exactly as I expected it too.

@ stumpy i dont think he was assuming they could not fight their own corner it reads more like he is asking people to not ignore the views of women whilst saying it is not sexist.

Not convinced DS you just seem to be the new cynical -al to TJ posting tbh

Junkyard - Member
@ stumpy i dont think he was assuming they could not fight their own corner it reads more like he is asking people to not ignore the views of women whilst saying it is not sexist.

just shows how people put their own context into the words of others 😀 and its all about context innit bredbin

i suggest most people on this thread are respectful people and wouldn't intentionally say something they thought might come across as sexist, or belittling to the opposite sex.

Not convinced DS you just seem to be the new cynical -al to TJ posting tbh

i suggest most people on this thread are respectful people and wouldn't intentionally say something they thought might come across as sexist, or belittling to the opposite sex.

and nor would most recipients take it like that either
There will however, be some ready to step up to the mark and take offence on their behalf, whether they want it or not

Oops CG and Mrs Toast ruin TJ's desperate attempt to monopolise ethical purity.

Purrs ... and then purrs some more.

Thanks chaps. 🙂

Thanks chaps

SEXIST!

😉

i suggest most people on this thread are respectful people and wouldn't intentionally say something they thought might come across as sexist, or belittling to the opposite sex.

mcboo - Member
Oops CG and Mrs Toast ruin TJ's desperate attempt to monopolise ethical purity.

Really?

Mrs Toast - Member
[b]I dislike being called 'babe'[/b]. I don't have much of a problem with duck, chuck, pet, petal or me dear, because they all sound like they can be applied to both men and women equally, although I’d question their use by strangers or colleagues in formal circumstances.

[b]It might be a regional thing, but for me using ‘babe’ as a term of endearment comes off as being a bit sleazy and sexualised.[/b] It makes me think of the Daily Star and Nuts magazine, and of convention Booth Babes. Booth ducks would be awesome though.

[i]Make my day guys - call me 'Babe'.[/i]

You wish love 🙂

Lifer got in there before I did.
It is pathetic how you're all after TJ again. All he said is to read the women's posts on here (and apart from CG all resent some or all of those terms in one way or another!) but you make out he is all wrong to ask you to do this when you clearly haven't read them.
Do you guys really don't mind if blokes call your gf/wife 'babe' ? Any sleezy old git ? any chav ? Or your pal from the cycle club ?? REALLY ??

Do you guys really don't mind if blokes call your gf/wife 'babe' ? Any sleezy old git ? any chav ? Or your pal from the cycle club ?? REALLY ??

This "context" concept is quite a difficult one to grasp, isn't it?

Well, fill me in, mogrim, I haven't got time to read all 8 pages .... guess you mean it depends who says it ? If you had read my first post I said I dislike to be called this by strangers. Context enough for you ?

"Lovely" seems to be the common term of address in S Wales.

Normally female to female or female to male...

Took a liitle while to get used to being called lovely by randon women

Well, [i]fill me in[/i], mogrim 😆

Steady...

Oh Crikey, jsut get your coat, will you! I was hesitating when I typed this and thought 'they can't possibly....' - but you proved me wrong !! So classy 😉

* flutters eyelashes at phil, binners, crikey, IHN *

They're eating out of my hand. 😉

[i]Oh Crikey, [b]jsut get your coat[/b], will you[/i]

...why, are you taking me home? 😆

Sorry, having a bit of a Peter Kay moment..

[i]They're eating out of my hand.[/i]

Nah, we just know you're easy 🙂

Crikey, not before you show me a photo of you, babe 😆

Well, fill me in, mogrim, I haven't got time to read all 8 pages .... guess you mean it depends who says it ? If you had read my first post I said I dislike to be called this by strangers. Context enough for you ?

I couldn't care less if some 65 year old tells my wife she looks fantastic today - and I know for a fact that she's often quite chuffed when it happens. Another thing altogether would be a 25 year old guy at work saying the same thing to her on a daily basis. Context, see?

...and there's an example of overtly sexualised communication, but in a context where it isn't seen as threatening or demeaning.

Context...

*swoons at CG in a respectful, non-sexist way*

Well, fill me in, mogrim, I haven't got time to read all 8 pages .... guess you mean it depends who says it

Not just who says it. Here's a couple of posts I wrote earlier which explains what you've missed:

http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/dont-call-me-babe/page/7#post-3446402

http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/life-is-all-about-taking-risks/page/4#post-3446556

Who says it, how they say it, meaning, intent.

Do you guys really don't mind if blokes call your gf/wife 'babe' ?

Context.

If a bus driver said to her, as per the OP, [i]"That'll be two pound ten please babe"[/i] then I would think absolutely nothing of it. And she'd be quite happy to be called babe.

Would you really be offended if a female bus driver (or phil's elderly mum) called your husband/partner "babe" in the same context?

*Looks askance at C_G.*

*Looks askance at C_G.*

Cap'n, I really am classy.

If a bus driver said to her, as per the OP, "That'll be two pound ten please babe" then I would think absolutely nothing of it. And she'd be quite happy to be called babe.

Likewise. And I think I've just spotted what might be causing the disparity. Compare,

"That'll be two pound ten please babe"

"That'll be two pound ten please, babe"

The first, a throwaway friendly term. The second, the emphasis moves, he's making a point of calling her a babe.

Do women really routinely call men 'babe'? Not in my experience.

*Looks askance at C_G.*

You're just slyly checking her out!

Well, thanks for the context examples.
Agreed, it is not all black and white, and there are situations where
I find it less offensive to be called babe or love (context:lady at the checkout, though still find hmmm what's best to describe it, say weird. Maybe it's just me, maybe it's me being German, we don't do these as far as I remember).
I do however not care if it is a 65-year old or a 25-year old stranger who calls me this, I do mind it whatever the age.
If it is the 25-year old guy from across where I sit in the office however .... 😆

Mogrim, Black Iridium lenses FTW! 8)

I do however not care if it is a 65-year old

They're the ones you've got to watch, you realise.