[Closed] Dont call me Babe.

I find buying meat for others difficult, on several levels.

Is it on different shelves then?*

*I fear that you misunderstand me for mild comic effect.

I'm so middle class I poo hummus.

That explains the worrying consistency and oddly musty flavour. I'd always assumed that was garlic.

round here they call you 'shug'. no idea WTF it's supposed to mean, it's bloody annoying though

you a clayhead iDave? 😉

McBoo - its been standard practise for decades in public service not to address people by terms of endearment.

you can call me 'my good man' dondon 😀

(honest answer is i make an educated guess on how formally the person i'm about to speak to will want to be addressed.... but i do enjoy calling friends and mrsconsequence silly and sexual names)

@yeti: yes love.

mcboo, do you really think I can be arsed trawling through old threads to find it. I seem to remember your main argument last time was that you didn't go to public school.

I think reading the guardian, then debating sexual politics on a mountain bike forum pretty much disqualifies anyone from 'salt of the earth' status anyway.

Shouldn't you be putting a 12 hour shift in the factory now anyway, what with being so overwhelmingly working class? (my spellchecker corrected working to lurking, probably more appropriate 🙂 )

its been standard practise for decades in public service not to address people by terms of endearment.

Or, increasingly, at all.

Frankly, I'd be happy for a shop assistant to call me 'love' if it meant they'd diverted their attention away from their mobile phone for the eight seconds it takes to sell me a Twix.

I think the official, Daily Mail approved term is 'Feral Underclass' Graham

It clearly depends on context, much like many other words we throw around regularly. I've absolutely no problem with being called pretty much any endearing/familiar term you like providing it's not suggesting I'm female or trying to belittle me or patronise me. Where I work it's not uncommon for the female staff to call me love and I don't even bat an eyelid. One of the female security staff did, however, call me "sweetheart" in a rather patronising tone in front of a bunch of students (who all gave a suitable sharp intake of breath!) which I took exception to and asked her to come for a walk with me while I explained why it wasn't appropriate and was somewhat undermining. She'd intended for it to be belittling as she thought I was a student and thought that was acceptable, she got a shock and apologised and we've been fine since then, even when she's called me sweetheart!

I don't really subscribe to the notion of "we've a history of discrimination therefore you can't use terms like that" - I've no history of discriminating against you, you've never met me and I'm simply being friendly, not causing any ill - don't judge me on other people's historical actions.

I don't get people who're upset by being called mate by someone who's "not a mate" - it's just a general term, to pick up on that and get so upset over it suggests there's something else going on in your head, to me, it just washes over my mind, goes in one ear and out the other as "hello".

And I have no idea why we're all still perpetuating the class system and even striving to be at the bottom of this construct. The only reason to perpetuate such a device is to have a weapon to use against people who you think are worse than you in some way and divide the population rather than bring it together as a people. It's just a chip on your shoulder if you use it as such and an ill-thought casual categorisation of yourself if you accept you fit into such a scheme.

its been standard practise for decades in public service not to address people by terms of endearment.

Is there a specific salt mine for those who transgress?

I turned 40 this month

Happy birthday Cougar darling.

grum - Member
mcboo, do you really think I can be arsed trawling through old threads to find it.

Not when it's so much easier to make up bullshit right? Epic epic failure.

I don't mind being called love - unless it comes from a checkout girl who is clearly 25 years my junior.

Don't mind mate too much from blokes but "BUD" - that makes my uvula swing.

when someone addresses me as 'love' does it mean they want to sleep with me or not?

I think the official, Daily Mail approved term is 'Feral Underclass' Graham

Well yes obviously these things are more of a spectrum. I mean some supposedly middle class people buy pre-grated Parmesan FFS.

I also hear "kochanie" alot in these part, never know whether to smile sweetly in reply or chin them. 😕

you can call me 'my good man' dondon

Yet, you are not 'my man' and I have no means of establishing whether you are 'good' or not. Saying that you are could imply that I feel superior to you(*), or have nasty connotations harking back to the days of the Empire and the slave trade. Therefore, addressing a non-caucasian gentleman in this manner perhaps could be misinterpreted as a racial slur. Minefield.

(* - I am, of course, but drawing attention to this would be bad form)

Really? You'll be telling me they buy non-organic veg from stores other than Waitrose next!

TandemJeremy - Member
McBoo - its been standard practise for decades in public service not to address people by terms of endearment.

Not it hasn't. It may have been in [i]some parts[/i] of public service, though.

binners - Member
Really? You'll be telling me they buy non-organic veg from stores other than Waitrose next!

We all know what Tesco, Lidl and Aldi are for, don't we? 😈

I don't mind being called love - unless it comes from a checkout girl who is clearly 25 years my junior.

I don't see why it matters unless she's patronising you. Unless you think that all girls 25 years your junior who might wish to use a nice word toward you must be patronising you by default?

the way i see it most humans are like dogs, its not what you say, tis the tone of voice and facial expression that goes with it.

there's a big difference between:

'hello *pause and angry face, emphasis on the 'mmm' sound* mmmmate'

and

*big warm smiley face*'hey mate'

Happy birthday Cougar darling.

Thank you, shagmaster.

I hate being called 'babe', or 'sweetheart' by blokes, but i don't mind 'love' from old dears on the checkout though. there's a bloke on the train station that calls everyone "me duck" which is ok. Hate being complimented by strangers as well, very creepy

I avoid this by using predictive txt slang and calling everyone aunt.

'love' 'babe' 'mate' 'sweetheart' 'pal' 'dude' used them all, and quite frankly if some jumped up, chip on their shoulder, self righteous div wants to take my genuinely friendly gesture the wrong way, they can simply inform me of their displeasure and I'll choose another more suitable gesture.

(and for the record.. I'm one of the underclass)

mcboo - Member
I would love to have studied classics at school, never had the opportunity. Only realise that now that I'm middle aged and fascinated by the ancient world......

Dr Richard Miles (BBC4 Ancient Worlds) - "This is not a story of long-dead civilisations, it is the story of us, then”

[b]I used to be working class. Middle class is better.[/b]

mcboo - Ok here's a little one for starters, not actually the thread I was looking for, but....

What a terrible snob, looking down on the working classes. Still, it must have been tough for you, what with not learning the classics at school and everything.

[i]Hate being complimented by strangers[/i]

Good point, well made.

Does anyone else see the irony here? McBoo and others getting all worked up complaining about someone who made a gentle complaint to a bus company and then commented how it had been blown out of proportion. I can almost here the indignant frothing from McBoo from here. what double standards " its PC gone mad" McBoo - you are blowing this out of all proportion

Perhaps you should actually read the piece in the guardian and stop getting your knickers in a twist

I do it all the time, and no one seems to object. Could be a propofol related thing, admittedly.

I hate being called 'babe', or 'sweetheart' by blokes

How dare you, joyless man hater?

The gym I use has a very large free weight area and the majority of users are working or not working class. A commonly heard phrase would be 'alright mate/pal/bruv/geez/boss, how many sets you got left on that bench?' Somehow I feel 'sir' would not be appropriate.

emsz - you fool! Edit your post quick. Do you remember nothing from school?!

Don't ever mention what you hate being called! That's how people get nick-names for life. You'd know this if you were ever in the pub to see Horas face as everyone refers to him as Mr Poo-Poo Ploppy Pants

I hate being called 'babe', or 'sweetheart' by blokes, but i don't mind 'love' from old dears on the checkout though. there's a bloke on the train station that calls everyone "me duck" which is ok. Hate being complimented by strangers as well, very creepy

[i]Hate being complimented by strangers[/i]

Good point, well made.

And your hair looks lovely today too, love.

Here in Wales I've heard "Love", "Spa", "Claert(?)" and not least "Butt", which as an American I found rather confounding 🙂

It does seem as though the "problem" lies with the recipient - taking things out of context. Emsz - why do you hate being complimented by strangers? Are you that lacking in confidence that you find it threatening (I don't know, you seem pretty confident so I guess not) or are you reading something into it that doesn't exist? That's a side-track anyway. The point is these are commonly used terms by 90%* of the population with no ill feeling or ulterior motive, in fact the very fact that they use it suggests they're happy in your presence and relaxed, if you were an arse or overbearing they'd probably think more carefully about their wording.

*made up on the spot, but generally most people seem to use them.

Mate / bud / etc.

I'm guilty of this, not least because I'm terrible at remembering names. In seriousness though, I can't immediately think of a better term of address.

"Sir / Madam" is perhaps correct in formal situations, but would sound plain weird delivered with an East Lancashire accent. "Ey up sir, asti gorrany pasties left?"

On leaving Greggs having acquired baked goods, does one say "cheers mate, tara" or "thanking you kindly good sir, this transaction was completed in a satisfactory manner; please accept my sincerest wishes that you have a felicitous afternoon"? That might be de rigeur in Knightsbridge, but in Burnley it's more likely to get you bottled.

babe, hen, love, mate, fella, me duck, guvnor, sweetheart, darling etc are used by a cabbie/bus driver/person behind a counter in a shop/whomever,

see the thing is the male ones are fairly neutral mate, guvnor etc but the female ones have some sort of vaguely sexual or overfriendly connotation- ie terms used between people in a relationship

If there was not this division between the terms then it would be more acceptable IMHO

Not something i get very worked up about though or terms I use tbh

Babe, love , my lover [ Devon one for you all]

Here in Wales I've heard "Love", "Spa", "Claert(?)" and not least "Butt", which as an American I found rather confounding

Even better is when an American hears a Welshman say, "Can I bum a fag off you, butt?"

Even better is when an American hears a Welshman say, "Can I bum a fag off you, butt?"

I'm gay so that would be so meta my brain would explode 🙂

see the thing is the male ones are fairly neutral mate, guvnor etc but the female ones have some sort of vaguely sexual or overfriendly connotation- ie terms used between people in a relationship

If there was not this division between the terms then it would be more acceptable IMHO

While I see your point, use of the terms is not limited to males toward females though is it. Day in day out I hear young women calling men and each other babe, love, mate - this isn't limited to a bunch of guys rubbing their thighs and saying "come sit with me love".

On leaving Greggs having acquired baked goods...in Burnley it's more likely to get you bottled.

It does seem as though the "problem" lies with the recipient - taking things out of context. Emsz - why do you hate being complimented by strangers?

I'm guessing here but maybe because she doesn't like being judged on her looks (as women often are)?

The problem is with the recipient argument, hmmm.... so if someone yelled racist abuse in the street, the problem is with the recipient? (and no I'm not equating saying 'love' with racist abuse, for the hard of thinking).

😆 @ randomjeremy! 😆

Binners, nick name at school was either 'dinkie-tits' or 'runt', or 'lezza bitch'. (must have spent all night on that one!!) 🙄

coffeeking, hmmm online confidence and RL aren't the same thing, I rather that the ground swallowed me whole than talk to some random!! it's just weird someone feeling that it's ok to pass comment. I'd never do it to some-one else....

piss off don 😆