[Closed] Colleague keeps switching off the WIFI as it 'makes her feel ill'

I think it's clear what has to happen next.... the egg must disappear.

Russell96 - Member
There was a UK doc where they got a pile of these 'sensitive people' stuck them in a stately home in the middle of nowhere well beyond any mobile coverage at the time. Wheeled an event mobile mast into the front courtyard and told them it was operating at full power, after two days they were genuinely hospitalising people. It was a shame there was no power to it at all.. and for the second week when it was 'switched off' the onsite doctor no longer had any visitors or need to refer anyone.

Cougar - Moderator
I think you need to start referring to it as her love egg. See if you can get the rest of the office to do so also.

Cougar - Moderator
Also,

Is it just the perspective in the photo, or is that not actually egg-shaped?

Do you need to take more photos and stick them in an albumen?

Not jealous, just more subtle. 😉

Laxatives, the whole pack in her tea.

Sit back and enjoy the show.

Re the OP.

She's a tiresome attention-seeker seeking attention in a tiresome way.

Tell her to **** off.

Is she fit
Tantric sex may be the solution she needs
You happen to be a guru

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Laxatives, the whole pack in her tea.

Are you new here? Picolax is the weapon of choice.

I've just done Perchy's annual appraisal and awarded him an "exceeds expectations". There is no financial reward.

dangeourbrain - Member

No it's actual-factual-real stuff. I saw a documentary on it once and they had some woman on there who lived miles from anywhere in a completely tech free house because everything electronic made her incredibly ill very quickly, reducing her to a vomiting shivering wreck. I was amazed she coped with the full film crew in honesty.

A chap from National Geographic got in a lot of trouble with one of these people- he did the obvious concealed electronics trick and inevitably, she had no reaction to devices she didn't know about. But then after the interview they sent her the proofs and told her about the hidden phone, and she instantly became "ill" and sued. I think we should seal her in a lead coffin and bury her, for her own good, tbh.

But Murray is spot on, it's pretty likely that this lady has a genuine problem, it's just not the one she thinks- it'd be good to help her with that.

Make a tin foil hat for the Egg of Peace
Then buy some sort of white noise generator and blame it on the harmful rays coming from the router
After much discussion agree to switch off the router and then power down the white noise generator simultaneously .
Her aura will be restored , and you get the www

Does she know - her egg is the wrong way round?
#Lilliputian

clearly ill but not with WiFi.
I was once asked to reposition a receiver of radio waves away from the bedroom wall and bolt it onto the adjacent bathroom wall as it was upsetting a customers sleep. tried to explain radio waves go everywhere but gave up and just did it.

and you can stuff living under pylons the humming alone would drive you mad. and the bird of pray calls they pump out over speakers all day.

Just wait until the egg fills with negativity and gains sentience. Fear me

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[quote=CountZero ]
Put a few Duracells alongside to really push the point...

[img] [/img]

Some of the tin foil hat brigade do make some good tunes though...[img] [/img]

Claim you have an allergy to the 'love egg', see how sensitive she is to your needs

Is it just the perspective in the photo, or is that not actually egg-shaped?

Do you need to take more photos and stick them in an albumen?

Sublime, nobody can hold a candle to that.

Claim you have an allergy to the 'love egg', see how sensitive she is to your needs

I wouldn’t , she might tell you where to shove it...

[url= http://www.hobbycraft.co.uk/kids/kids-craft-supplies/googly-eyes ]You know you have to...[/url]

😆

Wrap the egg in tin foil.

Well since in this workplace mystical beliefs are obviously encouraged I would start slowly bringing my own weird shit it.

I'd start off small, maybe a pocket bible and emergency stake and hammer; and then slowly ramp it up to incense and throwing salt around to ward off the evil spirits that someone else seems to have attracted. A full on exorcism might be the final option...

seriously so this ^^^^

perhaps come in dressed as some sort of wizard too??

I met a warlock once, only dressed accordingly at the weekend (full robes hat, and a large curved dagger).

Nice man.

nobody got it 😐 guess i was too subtle

No, we all saw through that one,you need a more fertile source of humour.

I noted an unseemly scramble to eggy puns. It's no yolk for the OP.

Say you're the Egg Man and confiscate the egg, then of course say you're the Walrus.

Anyway, stick labels over the lights on the wifi router/thing so it looks like it's off and hide the SSID so she can't detect it on her phone.

Has anybody yet suggested insisting that the lights are turned off because the radiation makes them feel ill? Then of course computer screens also need to be switched off.

Google image search for: "steering wheel, crystals, claymore"...

I am, of course, NOT advocating that the OP suggest it to his colleague. I am also, of course, NOT further advocating that, should said **** adopt the idea, he subsequently reverse hard into the front of her car while they are both exiting the car park 😉

PS I know someone like the OP's colleague. Total attention seeking flake and a mahoosive ballache to be around...

Mess with her head and leave dead flies, bees and ladybirds scattered around her desk, gradually move up to small dead birds and mice then eventually a roadkill badger.

LOL scruffywelder, I couldn't work out how you could drive with a 1.2m sword on the steering wheel but now I understand

I bet she thinks the earth is round aswell.

Looney.

Tell her to stop wearing shoes:

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thing from facebook for the day[/url]

That FB post is brilliant:

Mother Nature emits a constant flow of direct current that it continually stores from the sun’s energy. This current flows in the form of electrons from the earth. The human body naturally absorbs electrical charges from the Earth because the skin acts like a conductor. When we make direct contact with the earth and our bare skin, we tap into this unlimited energy source which allows us to experience many amazing health benefits.

Woo hoo - global energy crisis sorted! Gaia provides.

Back in a minute, just going to go hammer my phone charger into a flower bed...

Seems to be working. Vegan. Powers. Increasing!

The earth has an ever-lasting supply of negatively charged electrons. Toxins in our bodies are positive electrons

Not sure what to say about this.

So it's not the fact that I'm barefoot on a sunny beach that makes me happy, it's the good vibes coming up from the ground below 😯

Exactly stevied - you'd be just as happy standing barefoot in cowshit in a rainy field next to the M1.

More so in fact, because the rain and moist poo would conduct those happy electrons much better 😆

The vapour trails will soon finish her off. Problem solved.

rossburton - Member

The earth has an ever-lasting supply of negatively charged electrons. Toxins in our bodies are positive electrons

Not sure what to say about this.

Posted 1 hour ago #

I know exactly what to say, but a lot of it will end up appearing as asterixs.

Does you office do secret santa?

Surely she can only detect wifi using a device that also broadcasts wifi?

Marin - Member
The vapour trails will soon finish her off. Problem solved.

Oh I thought OP was trying to finisher her off? What with all this about her egg and all

Loony thing from facebook for the day

Scroll down for tips on decalcifying your third eye.

I know exactly what to say, but a lot of it will end up appearing as asterixs.

Sounds like a gauling experience.

Scroll down for tips on decalcifying your third eye.

Will that help with my piles?

I know exactly what to say, but a lot of it will end up appearing as asterixs.

Sounds like a gauling experience.

Brilliant pun 😆