[Closed] a bit of a personal question?

If so, would you like to be murdered?

c. how many cats do you have?

If I answer Yes to both (which would only be 50% untrue) can I come to yours for Xmas?

d. have you always had noisy neighbours?

If so, would you like to swap your life for mine, just for the next couple of weeks? 😉

I live alone, but have plenty of relatives who live fairly close (within a few miles anyway), does that count?

crikey..........nail on the head........ 8)

They'll have to cut you off the mattress you know. And the cats will probably chew bits of you. Oh, and happy Christmas xxx

B'mitch is back!
😀

me, just now:

What's the purpose of this enquiry, Ton? Trying to see who'll be alone this Christmas, so's you can offer them a place at your table for Xmas dinner?

That's very kind of you. 🙂

fred.......would that be a problem?

Well if fred's coming, then so am I. And afterwards, we could wrestle one another in the traditional Yorkshire manner, pants down with a sack of coal on your back!

Did someone say pants down? I'm there!

You have to do something festive though yeti, probably involving clementines and amyl nitrate 😯

fred.......would that be a problem?

Ton I think you might have failed to understand the significance of the Elfinman's comment :
"That's very kind of you 🙂 "

I'd love to join you for Christmas dinner ton. 8) ..……………

So that's sorted then, I'll start a list. Me, yeti, ernie, elf, and phil, all rosy cheeked and heading for ton's Christmas turkey man wrestle fest!

Yeahp, yeahp, that all sounds good. Very much inline with a traditional Yeti family Xmas as it happens...

Ooh ooh, we could take Juan as well. Does he eat carp? Anybody? Carp?

just sent teej a invite too............... 8)

This is gonna be the best Xmas EVER! Who wants to pull my cracker??

Will there be any unruly dogs there Ton

He's French you know. Juan I mean, he's French, from France. They like carp. The French. Or is it the Dutch?

everyone alright with 'pigs in blankets'?

Yorkshire man wrestle fest 😆

just sent teej a invite too...............

I suspect he is busy polishing his helmet as we speak

[img] [/img]

"everyone alright with 'pigs in blankets'?"
Is that like 'reverse dutch steamboat'?

Would there be bikes?

I'd love to come, but can't make it. Pub's open at lunchtime and there's probably something on telly, so i'll be sending my dad and his dog round instead.

'pigs in blankets'?

Yorkshire girls aren't that bad ;-)....oh...it's a boy pants down marmite wrestling thing!

Can I come too?

also, everyone will get a right good portion of stuffing.

Can I make a special request?

I'm not a big fan of traditional Xmas pud, but I do love a good cream pie?

😳

Is everybody free on Boxing Day too? At the moment I'm either going to upset my mother or my wife so to be honest I'd rather get muntered with a load of strangers. Even ones from Yarkshire.

I'll bring the lemons if somebody else has got the baby oil.

everyone alright with 'pigs in blankets'?

Well as long as they're Halal...

Boxing day as well? Best get down to Tesco's ton, MrsMitch is knitting me an eating suit. Whoo-hoo, two day bukkake and sprout party!

Ah Jeeze Mitch!!! 😯

No need, no need....

Sprouts give me terrible wind! 😳

Don't want to risk a blow-back. 😯

It's tongue that I'm a martyr to yeti - binds up something terrible in me back body.

Elfinsafety, Halal Pork?? Really??

Okay guys no tongue for mitch! 😆

And you can keep your bloody wafer thin ham and all! What about a chop? or some nice corned beef?

Elfinsafety, Halal Pork?? Really??

Or Kosher, I don't mind.

I was going to ask if there was room for a well-bred Southern lady but feel it may be a bit ruffty tuffty for my delicate disposition. 🙁

Have a chop with me elf. He'll buy us some chops, ton will. Or a nice bit of braising steak.

CG - you'd be more than welcome, I'm sure. We could get you a nice glass of babycham. And some pork and egg pie. Everybody likes pork and egg pie. Except vegetarians, but they dont celebrate Christmas, as any fule kno.

Is ton recruiting for MI5?

C_G I'm pretty sure your house is on the way to Yarkshire. I'll come and pick you up. How are you with Xmas songs?

Halal Pork??

It's like veggie mince, it's made to taste like pork. Luckily most Muslims can't tell the difference.

I live alone and my family live in a different country - do I win a prize?

barnsleymitch - cool, thanks! Pork and egg pie, aka Gala pie, is a fave of mine. 🙂

TSY - lift would be great, ta. I've got a selection of Xmas CD's, any good for you? At a push, I could sing?

Yes iDave. The Yeti tour bus is coming to pick you up too! Bring some home made fitness equipment for some man (& C_G) tests.

Yay... C_G is going to serenade us..

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...

Well I've been living alone for a while now and would be there like a shot if there is a chance of a duck.................<not swear filter avoidance BTW> 😉

will the meal be made to iDave diet specifications?

Will there be cheese?

On a stick with a little pickled onion?

[SITREP]

Sorted it out with mother. Wife happy.

Wouldn't mind sneaking off for Halal cooked meat based high-jinks anyway.

you lot are seriously not right................
it was a serious question....... 😀

And believe me ton, it was a serious answer. Man up and take some responsibility, we're all coming to yours for christmas and boxing day, you will feed us, tuck us up in bed and read us all a lovely story. something about a badger or hedgehog I would imagine. Now stop shirking and get shopping. 'OH, JINGLE BELLS, TJ SMELLS', - come on everybody, join in!

I'm getting terribly excited ...

😆

Me ... since I started to explore the world on my own at 21. Now along and hermit like. 😐

p/s: Parents & relatives 24hr flight away in the land belonging to some extreme maggots.

I don't live alone, and have altogether too many family.

Please, please, please, please, pretty please - can I come too...?

Too far for me to gatecrash otherwise I can bake some banana bread (delicious!)... 😆

knitting me an eating suit.genius coffee laptop interface 😆

"we're all coming to yours for christmas and boxing day,"

I'm staying 'til new year 😆

Ton's Dec 25th - Jan 2nd

[img] [/img]

We come for Bukaki and pickled onions!

Can i come too Ton ? Would have to go out for a bike ride whilst the pots were done / farting interval though. Would be lovely to meet CG - she sounds right nice

I are be spending the day making a Elf outfit. Not elfinsafety outfit, Elf outfit, like film.

I'm making a Rudolph suit out of all the cats that poo in my onion patch.

but i've already ordered a Christmas donkey outfit for us to wear TSY!! I was going to let you choose the head or the arse! 😯

Was going to give B'mitch a ride around on his very own christmas dandydonkey 😥

ooh, ooh oooooh, is it Dominic the Donkey?

Forum Leader can have Elf outfit... Elfin in Elf outfit.

capon is ordered..............sprouts are on a gentle simmer on the aga.... 😀

TSY don't choose the arse end after phils had a meal full of sprouts, could be messy 😯

Is bukkake a Japanese specialty. I hope it won't smell of fish, I don't mind the taste but if the smell's too strong it makes me gag.

Or is that sushi?

Would be lovely to meet CG - she sounds right nice

Diane - you've obviously misunderstood the rumours! Would be good to meet you too. 🙂

ton - a special plea ...

If I'm coming all the way to Yorkshire then I must sample a proper Yorkshire Pudding, could you organise this please? Ta. 🙂

As a teenager I spent two Christmas days alone.