[Closed] £100 Bn to spend.....

Hookers and booze. And a sausage roll.

New Orange Five with Enve wheels, and hookers, coke and booze obvs

[quote=CaptainFlashheart ]Hookers and booze. And a sausage roll.

dont forget the supercar.

tidal lagoons, modular reactors, a rail network that's approximately fit for purpose, and cycle infrastructure.

A massive gold statue of myself.

a REALLY FAST T5 !!!

ok sensible - some of it retained by the defence for conventional weapons, the rest should be invested in renewable energies and Rail transport for the non-london services that are desparate for it ( that utilises the renewable capability )

I'd take every member of my family to [url= https://www.bettys.co.uk/tea-rooms/locations ]Bettys[/url]

I'd be investing in a space laser program to shoot down nuclear missiles fired at us.

Then if there is any spare i'm sure some tea and medals could be purchased to celebrate when it worked.

I'd buy up loads of land and then I could allow people to ride bikes anywhere on it.

Then when a local NIMBY tells me I can't ride there, I can have them ejected from MY land.

Although, the sausage roll sounds good.....

I'd buy STW and lord it over the forum running amok with the ban hammer.

Probably invest the other £99,999,999,999,500.00 in an Audi and buy to let properties 🙂

tidal lagoons, modular reactors, a rail network that's approximately fit for purpose, and cycle infrastructure.

(edit - I came on here expecting that you'd had a spectacularly generous CRC voucher for your birthday OP) 😀

I'd give to a donkey sanctuary

I'd be investing in a space laser program to shoot down nuclear missiles fired at us.

If the aim of disarmament is stability and there being less big weapons kicking around, I'm not sure a massive, probably illegal, one-sided space based weapons system is the way to go....

I should have expected this response....

An arse-kicking machine, built for politicians who are rubbish on purpose.

I'd like to see Cameron and IDS have first go.

I'd kill all these YouTube/Instagram/Vine "internet sensations" with a big hammer - then use the money to get a reduced sentence

Dapper Laughs? Whack
Mr Cian Twomney? Whack
Zoella? Whack

I'd use it to weather the storm after I re-regulated the banking industry in the UK - wean us off relying on the rest of the world using a few thousand people in London to look after their money, which would devalue the £ from it's lofty heights and allow for a more balanced, less London-centric economy.

I wouldn't stop at sausage rolls. Pork pies.... steak bakes... cheese and onion pasties..... [b]PASTRY BASED PRODUCTS FOR EVERYONE!!!!!![/b]

I can't believe you're talking about buying one sausage roll when you have £100 Bn to spend! What a limited outlook some of you have.

Assuming 80p per Greggs sausage roll and 7.1 Bn people in the world, I would use the money to end world hunger by buying every person alive 17.6 sausage rolls.

I would then spend my Nobel prize money on coke and hookers 8)

A few things spring to mind.

A time machine to take people back in time and show them how shite the rail system was under British Rail.
Gin.
A proper CX bike for everyone to show them how crap they are as commuter bikes.
Port.
A grammar school, in a nice area, obviously.
A few crates of Sadlers Mud City Stout.
Privatise Jeremey Corbyn
A good bottle of red, a Nuit St George I think.
Scotland.

Invade Scotsland.

A time machine to take people back in time and show them how shite the rail system was under British Rail.

Leaves more money for port beer and wine, so win anyhow.

I'd book a half-term holiday.

Why can the time machine not go back?

100,000,000 cannondale trigger 4's

er, cancel cuts to tax credits?

100,000,000 cannondale trigger 4's

Don't forget to factor in 200,000,000 new tires and the WTB Wolverines will kill you before you even get them out of the box*. Apparently.

I'd buy helvellyn and turn it into an uplift mtb centre. Build a quality but cheap hotel at the top with a good bar, a hot swimming pool and a large jacuzzi overlooking the fantastic lake district scenery. In fact not just mtbs but all extreme sports that require height so you could zip line to the bottom, hang glide, parachute or wing suit down, there'd be a toboggan run too. All stw members would get cheap exclusive entry. I'd run charity days for under privileged people to come experience extreme sports for nought.

*They won't.

Will £100B buy one of [url= http://callofduty.wikia.com/wiki/ODIN_Space_Station ]these[/url]?

Assuming 80p per Greggs sausage roll and 7.1 Bn people in the world, I would use the money to end world hunger by buying every person alive 17.6 sausage rolls.

Making a very rash(er) assumption that there might be pork in a Greggs sausage roll, there are a fair few folk that don't dig on swine. 1.57 billion muslims, 14 million jews, 400 million vegetarians and a few fussy eaters. That's a few more for the rest of us. Add a bit of a bulk discount - we must have 25 each surely.

Are there enough pigs in the world - be afraid piggies, be very afraid.

A time machine to take people back in time and show them how shite the rail system was under British Rail.

I remember vividly how rubbish BR was.

However, back in 1994 we weren't paying anything near as much for a season ticket as we are now, so I'm all for renationalising the railways, plus shooting any politician who voted in favour of privatisation back in the 90s.

However, back in 1994 we weren't paying anything near as much for a season ticket as we are now

#sausagerollenomics

I'd buy an Evil uprising with fox suspension, Hope brakes and ENVE wheels. I could afford to buy a new one every day for the rest of my life 😀

Would evil run out of frames though?

Hookers, Coke, a rubber chicken, a supercar, a fridge freezer, a box of cornflakes, a set of pans complete with lids, a BBQ, a jigsaw, a range of bed linen, two tickets for a weekend away in Doncaster, a cuddly toy.....

Awe, didn't he do well!!

*claps loudly

I would buy Anglesey, turn it into Monkeysfeetland. A place where folk can only vote UKip, drive Audi's and the only shop would be Greggs.
Staffed by Binners. 😀

Change my name to Tony Soprano and start a crew in my local village.

Making a very rash(er) assumption that there might be pork in a Greggs sausage roll, there are a fair few folk that don't dig on swine. 1.57 billion muslims, 14 million jews, 400 million vegetarians and a few fussy eaters.

those who are pig-averse may have one of those cheese-based things

I admit some vegans may starve but I'm not convinced they'll be a great loss to the world 😈

Will £100B buy one of these?

Actually yes it will!

I Googled "How much does the ISS cost" and it said 150 billion USD

[url= http://lmgtfy.com/?q=how+much+does+the+ISS+cost%3F ]linky[/url]

😆

tthew - Member

A time machine won't be able to travel back to a time before it was invented. Radio 4 science fact.

dirtyrider - Member

Why can the time machine not go back?

Also, a time machine will have to travel in space and not just time. Wormholes or something. (I am not Brian Cox)

Nuclear fusion. Would solve an awful lot of problems.

I'd book a half-term holiday

tthew - Member

tthew - Member

A time machine won't be able to travel back to a time before it was invented. Radio 4 science fact.

dirtyrider - Member

Why can the time machine not go back?
Er, can't remember sorry, but there was a more sciencey reason than just 'because if it could, someone would have already come back and we'd know about it'.

Also, a time machine will have to travel in space and not just time. Wormholes or something. (I am not Brian Cox)

Time travel is only theoretically possible by traveling at near the speed of light away from earth and then returning - you're not really time traveling, but because of special relativity you're experiencing time more slowly than the people you leave behind if you could get up to 99.5% you would experience time 10 times slower than on earth - go for 5 years and you would return to earth 50 years later, it's not possible with the knowledge we have no to go back in time, even theoretically because the past is gone, it no longer exists so you can't travel there.

You need to leave earth and return because we're moving all the time, the earth is rotating on it's on axis, it's also traveling around the Sun and out solar system is moving through our galaxy and our galaxy is probably moving too - so if you stepped into your time machine and went back or forward even a very short time you could come back in the middle of something solid on the surface, or more likely under the surface or in space. It's also more practical to travel at 300kms per second in space, there's more room.

£100bn wouldn't be enough to do it - the Apollo Programme cost about that (inflation corrected)

it is time to reinvest money in to flailing industries?

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£100 billion would buy loads of these.

Invade Scotsland.

'Mon then!

£100 Bn wouldn't even make a dent in our defensive capabilities.
I'd estimate you'd abandon hope after two nights in August.

[img] https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQr8kZ2pdaIalF1XR3VBcCF_6qRu5Ya4vqwINEPQvdZ_8Z1C3lA [/img]

The problems of our ageing nuclear power generation plants were identified during the last century
In the 2002 energy review the Labour government were advised to maintain our nuclear industry skills-base
In 2003 they had no specific plans to build plants and so maintain those skills. They finally started to look at designs around 2008...

...I don't know if this is repeated in other industries, but if governments acted early then some of this heartache might be avoided

Spend it on tidal turbine development.. Tide is guaranteed to come in and out twice a day, everyday. Surely harnassing that energy somewhere like the Bristol channel where there is a massive tidal range would be possible.. Also more tax breaks and subsidies for other renewable energy projects. Tax reductions for cyclists. Free sausage rolls / pork pies, coffee for those that ride to work and a case of beer on Friday if you manage the whole week..

I'd sort my house out.

Develop nuclear fusion technology and make Britain the world leader designing and building them

That and huge investment in social services, education and NHS

On the basis that the £100bn trident cost is projected cost over 40 years and we spend about £150bn on the NHS every single year and its rising (and roughly the same again on welfare and again on Pensions), I don't think the Trident budget is enough to move the needle on the NHS or any other sector of public expenditure. £100bn over 40 years is far from a huge investment in terms of a nations budget. So on that basis we might as well be frivolous with it. Hoverboard development...why not! Or it might be just enough to fix a few pot holes on our roads every year.

I've just had an idea...

I'd make a brand new fleet of classic 'Cold War' jets - Vulcans, Lightnings, etc.

They'd look identical from the outside, but underneath the skin, they'd have modern avionics and engines so that they can be kept running for decades to come.

I'd buy New Zealand and rename it England. That way we might be better at rugby!!

Spose I could just buy the RFU, sack them all and get some one else to run it....

Tax reductions for cyclists. Free sausage rolls / pork pies, coffee for those that ride to work and a case of beer on Friday if you manage the whole week..

How would you get the case of beer home on your bike?

How would you get the case of beer home on your bike?

time travel to the past is never linear, the act of going back would land you in an alternate reality because you've already broken the linear continuum you came from - BttF 2 is more accurate about marty going back to 1964 with the sports results and it creating a violent schism (in the first one he's in an alternate reality but it's not obvious on the surface, until he goes forward to the alternative present)

I am in favour of Trident but if the money wasn't spend on replacing it I would spend it all on rebuilding the numbers in the armed forces and buying a lot more conventional weaponry

I would spend it all on independent studies and focus groups to work out what to spend it on.
If they could take about 10 years to do it and still not come up with a result, that would be optimal.

How would you get the case of beer home on your bike?

One or two in your bottle cages and the rest stored safely in your digestive system.. People don't actually work on Friday afternoon anyhow.....

Purchase all 282 Munros, and their associated subsidiary tops, in Scotland and have them systematically quarried with explosives to no bigger than 2999 feet.

Rebuild Hadrians Wall - but taller....like Game of Thrones taller.

To repel invading, envious, Munro exploders from the southern flat lands on their "Slightly Raised Mound" Bikes. 😀

1/3rd on some pretend subs to keep the badies guessing.
1/3rd on a bridge to france cos I don't like tunnels.
1/3rd on a new concorde because its about time we did something interesting.

"Slightly Raised Mound" Bikes.

I'd buy enough jelly mix, custard, sponge cake and strawberrys to turn lake Windermere into a trifle..
About as much use as Trident, but trifle....

Good plan, anyone that invaded us would be sure to get their just desserts.

Power generation. But apparently we can't afford to build that, we can only afford nuclear submarines costing more, so we have to slash renewables funding and get the chinese to build us nuclear reactors.

get a rocket and colonise the moon before the rest. It would be the first new addition to the commonwealth 🙂

I would keep trident but use it as a revenue generator like from the Blofeld book of nuke ownership.

"Nigeria, give us £20bn or we nuke you".

Then buy everyone sausage rolls. Probably.

/strokes pussy contemplatively/

Percypanther

"Carlsberg don't do wives, but..."