Singletrack Christmas Gift Guide – Making Xmas Easy

by 5

The joy of shopping for Christmas gifts: the long queues of jolly people, the plentiful car parking, and that simply charming piped in Christmas music that you can never grow tired of. Don’t you just love it?

Screw that. You either love it or you hate it, but if you love it, you are wrong. Why give up all that valuable riding time to fight through the festering swamp of hideous tinsel, just to get some tat that no one wants, needs or will ever use. If you ask me, I would say your non riding partner would much rather you played on your bike and therefore stayed fit and happy (and frisky). And you know what… who doesn’t love an awesome tea towel?

Please step into the wonderful Singletrack merch store, and you can do a decent chunk of your Xmas shopping without mixing it with plagued masses.

When you let Charlie near Microsoft Paint…

Under £10.

Well, you have to get them something, but they are not really in the £11 category. Or maybe it’s Secret Santa and you got “sweaty Bob” from accounts, and he thinks cyclists should pay road tax. Bob is a dick.

For The Kids.

Share the ride with the wee ones with the awesome TowWhee Bike Bungy. And when it rains go indoors and have a thrilling time with our jigsaw puzzle. The deadline coffee is not for the kids, it’s to keep you awake whilst keeping up with the kids.

For The Boozer.

  • Deck the halls with boughs of holly. Fa la la la la, la la la la.
  • ‘Tis the season to be jolly. Fa la la la la, la la la la.
  • Nigel Farage is a wally. Fa la la la la, la la la la.

For Your Bike.

Be honest now. You kinda love your bike don’t you. So why not treat your loyal steed to some lovely new bits.

For the One You Love.

Nothing says “I love you” in quite the same way as a tea towel, some reused rubber, and a tub of Bum Butter.*

For Yourself.

Because you’re worth it, and let’s be honest here. Are they really going to get you the presents you really want? No chance. So just relax and smile nicely when you unwrap your Peter Andre Pubic Topiary Kit, or the Nigel Farage Blazer Badge, Tie and Duvet Set… because you know the next parcel under the tree is rad as hell.

For Your Next Adventure.

It’s been a tough year for adventures, but we are heading for the daylight savings at the end of the tunnel. Not long now to dry warm evenings, the wind in your hair, dusty trails and rolling into somewhere entirely new. Grab a book, make plans, and be ready for the green light. Make next year count.

There, brilliant, I have done it. I have written an uplifting and motivating post about Christmas shopping. Singletrack will sell loads of merch, which really helps the good ship Singletrack stay on a safe course. And our much loved members get to ride their bikes and not splurge their hard earned on low grade commercial crapturdation** that will be in landfill before the turkey is finished.

* Small Print: Singletrack accepts no responsibility for the condition of your marriage. Past performance is not necessarily a guide to future performance. The value of your marriage (including the income from them) can go down as well as up, and you may not get back the amount you invested.

** Some words are included as a special gift to Barney our word bothering expert.


Comments (5)

Leave Reply