Personally I wouldn’t be happy with this at all. A 14yr left alone for a couple of hours in the evening- fine. Overnight? Not a chance.

Yes there are some mature-heads on early teen children however who is making this judgement and is there a national set standard?

I’d avoid talking to the parents (why? They’ll make sure its not obvious the next time they need to do it) and I’d speak hypothetically to social services. Sorry my gf/bro/sister were often put in this situation and it affected my gf as she felt stressed and worried.

My 12-year-olds can’t be trusted to stay alive while I pop out to post a letter.

It only takes a few seconds unsupervised for one to kill and eat the other.

Can’t see them being capable of being left for two nights at 14, somehow. Or 16, or 18.

#sickofhalftermalready

“I reckon a fair few 14 year olds have no clue where a stopcock is these days” neither did I at 14 see my answer. but I guess a fair few adults don’t now .

camping and the law would be the same I had certainly been unsupervised camping for a weekend by 14 though it did all get a bit lord of the flies.

it’s the timings that give the clue, returning at 10:30 is coming back after the pubs have closed so the kids have basically been ignored all weekend. I’m sure they could fend for themselves but it’s not a great experience, will they have eaten healthily and done stimulating things? sleep? excercise? homework? also are the parents of their mates having to pick up the slack ??

14 and 11, they aren’t little kids but they aren’t adults either – they still need encouragement and advice

A 14 year old should be able to manage to exists for a few days. You do not help you kids by doing absolutely everything for them. My 3 year old already helps with the cooking and loads the dishwasher.

I will teach him about the stopcock on his 4th Birthday.

I don’t think it’s right that a 14 year old is left with the responsability of supervising an 11 year old.

Sure, some 14 year olds are pretty clued up and have natural maternal instincts, but if anything were to go wrong, that’s a lot for a child to carry on their shoulders. IMHO

but if anything were to go wrong

nicecupoftea has it IMO.

Many (most?) 14 year olds could survive just fine for a night or two. It’s not difficult.

The problem is what would happen if they or their sibling took a tumble down the stairs, took ill or somehow managed to lock themselves out etc. Fairly minor stuff that an adult would be able to deal with, but assuming that a kid would make the right decision in those circumstances, without the benefit of advice or experience to guide them, is risky.

If a neighbour or nearby relative is on hand, then not so much of an issue I suppose.

I should note that I accidentally set my garage on fire at 15 after my mum nipped round to my papa’s for an hour.

somehow managed to lock themselves out etc

That was the most common issue for me.

Once managed to lock myself in the porch whilst answering the door. That was a fun conversation with the poor lady who was actually at the door 🙂 Used to break in via the catflap often. Also figured out how to break into the garage when other people had taken all the keys with them.

Should add though there was usually an adult back in the evenings. I think the first time we were left at home alone for an extended period my sister was 17, I was 15.

I once locked myself in a porch – I went out of the inside door, locked it then pushed the key through the letterbox before realising that I hadn’t unlocked the outer door. I ended up climbing out of the window, ripping my school trousers in the process then had to spend the whole of a day-long school trip with those ripped trousers on.

🙂

“I reckon a fair few 14 year olds have no clue where a stopcock is these days” neither did I at 14 see my answer. but I guess a fair few adults don’t now .

I’m reasonably sure that at the age of 14 I’d have been the one showing my folks where the stopcock was.

If there were a modern caste system in the UK, Cougar, you’d be born into the ‘tech support’ one.

Seems too young to be solo for multiple nights imo. But then again I taught a 16 year old kid a few years ago who sailed solo across the atlantic and at the time applauded the parents for giving him (an amazing kid and now an amazing adult) the trust and opportunity, so what do I know. Two siblings left together at that age are most likely to get it wrong by having the mother of all arguments without an adult to act as moderator; and are potentially capable of endangering themselves by stomping off – that would be my biggest worry.

I once locked myself in a porch

In our case it was just begging to happen. The inside door had a Yale style lock that locked when you shut it. The outside door had a mortice lock requiring a key. Terrible combination when you think about it. I was in the house on my own, someone knocked at the door, so you can tell what happened. Fortunately the back door was open which it rarely was, so I had to tell the lady to come in via the back door and let me into my own house.

it’s the timings that give the clue, returning at 10:30 is coming back after the pubs have closed so the kids have basically been ignored all weekend. I’m sure they could fend for themselves but it’s not a great experience, will they have eaten healthily and done stimulating things? sleep? excercise? homework?

Pretty sure at 14 its was me that ignored my parents for the whole weekends and did none of the things you seem to think a teenager needs to do… despite my parents protests.

Most of the misshaps listed here (being locked out, falling down stairs, etc) happen to me in my 40s when I’m left alone overnight.

Also washing things ‘wrong’, breaking stuff, eating food past it’s use by date, answering the door to strangers, etc.

I’ve tried to report my other half to the cops but they’re not interested.

I am pretty sure I was left at 14. No big dramas.

To the op, did they have a adult phone in/call by at regular intervals etc.

14 y/o’s can actually possess some common sense so depending on the food in question can’t see the issue.

hmmmm… I wouldn’t do it either because I’m over protective and I thought it was totally against the law..

I was left alone at 14.. my Baby sister thought I was her dad cos I always cooked and cleared up after them and bathed them, changed her nappies and put them to bed and whatnot, got ’em up for school and took them to and fro etc.. and my younger brother would always turn to me for advice before he’d turn to his dad even up until late 20s (when he realised that I wasn’t good at advice)

My mum and Dad worked very hard to provide bigger houses or whatever it is people get it into their moronic minds that they ‘need’ but didn’t quite earn enough to afford a childminder 😉

worrying about stopcocks and being locked out and fires and falls sounds like the worries of dad’s that have never spent any real time with their kids to me

Most of the misshaps listed here (being locked out, falling down stairs, etc) happen to me in my 40s when I’m left alone overnight.

Also washing things ‘wrong’, breaking stuff, eating food past it’s use by date, answering the door to strangers, etc.

🙂

worrying about stopcocks and being locked out and fires and falls sounds like the worries of dad’s that have never spent any real time with their kids to me

sanctimonious-stay-at-home-dad to the rescue again 🙂

jumping from worrying about fire to dads not spending enough time with their kids is genius 🙂

I am pretty sure I was left at 14. No big dramas.

To the op, did they have a adult phone in/call by at regular intervals etc.

14 y/o’s can actually possess some common sense so depending on the food in question can’t see the issue.

Its not just the safety aspect- theres the insecurity/feeling alone/having to grow up alittle quicker than you should aspect.

Thats far more damaging than ‘someone knocking at the door/ok I’ve ignored it’- that easy.

Its the subtle psychological damage.

stay-at-home-dad to the rescue again

I reckon a fair few 14 year olds have no clue where a stopcock is these days

The wifes 40 and has no idea where the stopcock is, or how to change a wheel on the car.
Her argument is that “She would ring me, thats what I’m there for?!”

The dangers of using a throwaway example on STW. 🙂

I should know better, really. 🙄

subtle psychological damage

🙄

I used to love it when my folks went away and left me at home. I felt trusted and could watch whatever I wanted on TV. By 14, if you can’t be trusted not to throw a party, okay, that’s understandable. If you can’t be trusted to survive without emotional scarring.. well.. kids today eh?

Surely this was commonplace and seen as normal 20 years ago?

Hence all these psychologically damaged adults…

Like I said my gf worried a lot and often didn’t sleep properly until she heard them come home.

It was not normal 20yrs ago. My friends parents were normal. Its odd that we justify our parents as ‘norm of the time’. When really they were feckless with their children to a degree.

It still happens today but we can’t equate our parents to the folkcthat do it today.

Where’s Derek? Hiding in the basement flogging himself?

In less than 2 years the 14 year old can join the forces and will be trained to kill. Put 2 nights home alone into perspective. Depends on the kids but generally to be encouraged in my opinion

I was left alone at 9-10ish, used to drink the spirits and smoke stogies out of the ash tray. Never did me any harm.

Derek,

Are you going to actually have a conversation with your neighbours about your increasing issues with their life choices or are you going to continue to post passive aggressive threads about it on a mountain biking forum?

Either call social services or offer to babysit.

XXX – Member

Ok, you have THE best username ever.

twinw4ll – Member
I was left alone at 9-10ish, used to drink the spirits and smoke stogies out of the ash tray. Never did me any harm.

Quite. Now tell me again about physically ripped you are 😀

Bear, are you angling for a pic? 😯

fin25 +1. Whats going to happen is hes gotten worked up about it, got it out of his system and is now going to forget about it/not his problem/they’ll probably be alright if he doesn’t bother with the hassle.

Proper LOL’d at the Quagmire post. Reminded me when he knocked and Meg answered and his questions were angling ‘so youre still at school (yes) sooo when do you graduate’? 😆

The clue’s in the name…. He can’t cope without large hairy men sending pics*.

*may not be true

How hard would it be to gain access to a house without adults?

DONT answer the door?

What if someone said through the letter box ‘hi, its the Police love. We need to speak to you about your Father’ (etc).

I’m a grown man and even so if someone knocks I’m slightly apprehensive about what it is etc.

I imagine a young girl- even if they don’t answer it’d frighten them. Thats enough to affect them/insecurity etc as they develop.

Anyway- the OP wont do owt.

I imagine a young girl- even if they don’t answer it’d frighten them. Thats enough to affect them/insecurity etc as they develop.

Poor choice of words…
People don’t give kids enough credit some days, they also have vivid imaginations about weirdos roaming the streets picking off internet posts about young girls left alone and then goelocating the poster and then heading over there. Apart from the fact that the biggest danger to most kids is their own family.

So you’ve never jumped or felt slightly apprehensive when you hear a knock late? (as an adult).

Someones picked up on your constant curtain twitching OP- http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/is-my-neighbor-a-judgmental-misanthrope

Oh dear 😆

When I was 11 and my sister was 14, not only would we be left all night but we’d be forced to look after my nan all night too!

So you’ve never jumped or felt slightly apprehensive when you hear a knock late? (as an adult).

Yeah but I had just watched Dog Soldiers or Blair Witch and was staying in the middle of no where, there are a lot of people in the world. Sometimes people are not all bad and some can look after themselves. I’m more worried about Derek spying on his neighbours really.