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MTBing with the Missus?

112 posts & 61 voices | Started 3 months ago by Ladders | Latest reply from littlemisspanda

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Ladders - Member

Could do with some advice here, will help as there are lady riders here who can give me there view as well.

Last autumn my wife and I decided we would go out biking, so we could do something that we both enjoyed doing together. She also does no other exercise and we thought this would be a fun way to get fit together.

She used to do lots of riding when she was young, and we have often done rides in the past together (some over 20miles).

I thought I would start things off by a gentle ride round the local park. It's a 13mile round trip in total and I took it extremely slowly and patiently as she hadn't done any riding for a bit. She did this fine, although struggled up the first 'hill'. I suggested to her that her Shopping Bike she was riding wasn't up to proper riding, and I bought her a proper MTB a few weeks later, which she now loves.

We did this every saturday for about a month until she went off on one saying how she didn't want to have to do this every week and was getting bored of riding the same route.

So next time we went to the local common and did some more 'off road' stuff and she loved it. Did about 15 miles which again she did no problem.

Now the problem (?) is that she manages these rides extremely easily. Isn't tired at all when we get back. But she literally rides on the flat on the roads at about 8mph, so slow I am freewheeling and I'm still pulling away from her. Even mums with their little kids are overtaking us! When we're offroad though she seems to speed up a bit and keep up.
We went out again last week and I tried suggesting to her that she needs to go a bit faster as she is trying to get fit as well as going for a ride, but she went mental at me, said she was trying as hard as she could and it was because I ride all the time that I was finding her slow. I know she can ride harder though as she gets back and isn't tired at all, and she's not even out of breath as she rides along.

So what I'm wondering is am I being unreasonable, or do I need to somehow need to keep persuading her to go just a little quicker on the flat so we can ride together?

Anyone else been in the same situation?

Posted 3 months ago #
sobriety - Member

Anyone else been in the same situation?

Yes, she is no longer my Missus, and I got a jump bike out of it. Win.

Posted 3 months ago #
Ladders - Member

Yes, she is no longer my Missus, and I got a jump bike out of it. Win.

Lol Her bike is to small for me though!

Posted 3 months ago #
schmiken - Member

If you want to keep riding with your missus, just accept that she won't be as fast as you. When I ride with Lizzie I just accept that I'm not going to get a workout and just enjoy spending the time sharing what I love with her.
Don't force her to do speeds she's uncomfortable with, or you'll soon find she won't want to go biking with you.

Posted 3 months ago #
SiB - Member

Don't force her to do speeds she's uncomfortable with, or you'll soon find she won't want to go biking with you.

There's your answer

Posted 3 months ago #
juan - Member

Well is she able to manage gears? Do you want to push her? Do you consider riding with your GF "riding" or is it just a social activity you enjoy together?

Posted 3 months ago #
cinnamon_girl - Member

Does she genuinely want to ride or is you that wants her to?

I would suggest that she rides with other girlies to take the pressure off!

Posted 3 months ago #
hels - Member

Well, you could also make sure her bike is right for her. If you haven't already, check the saddle height and reach and all that sort of thing. Get her sorted out with SPDs too.

Make sure she has all the right clothes and they are comfortable too. Is she getting dehydrated - make sure plenty water.

If that doesn't work tell her there is a giant snake chasing her down the road.

Posted 3 months ago #
joao3v16 - Member

I've no idea what to suggest, other than don't force the issue.

Fingers crossed she gets more confident/faster over time.

If I were in this situation I would struggle with this though, knowing that it's impossible to be 'trying' whilst only achieving 8mph ... my 5yo son can go faster on his kids bike

Posted 3 months ago #
hels - Member

P.S If that still doesn't work, get one of your friends to dress up as a giant snake.

Posted 3 months ago #
molgrips - Member

Don't put any kind of pressure on her at all. You wouldn't like it, why would she? She's probably acutely aware of how slow she is, you just highlighted it.

Posted 3 months ago #
Ladders - Member

Well is she able to manage gears? Do you want to push her? Do you consider riding with your GF "riding" or is it just a social activity you enjoy together?

She can manage them ok, I have explained how they work, and suggest to her what gear to be in for where ever we are riding.

I don't want to 'push' her, I just know she could keep up if she tried and I think we'd both enjoy it more than me rolling off having to wait all the time

Posted 3 months ago #
binners - Member

I bought t'other half (Bagpuss of this parish) a bike earlier last year.

When I ride with my beloved, I'm quite happy to potter. That way we both enjoy it. Nice to have a bit more time to take in the scenery too. Its the opposite of the testosterone fuelled 'who's going to ride down the steps of doom?' aproach. Its nice.

Have you tried any rail centre's? Thats worth giving a go. It makes the ride a bit more interesting. And trail centres like Llandegla are full of a really mixed set of ages and abilities, so she won't be overwhelmed. Plus there's the whole social side of having some lunch at the cafe afterwards

We've done Llandegla and Gisburn. Both of which she really enjoyed. Stick to the blues and the occasional red and you're fine.

Posted 3 months ago #
Ladders - Member

Does she genuinely want to ride or is you that wants her to?

I would suggest that she rides with other girlies to take the pressure off!

I don't think she would come out full stop if she didn't want to.

She says she doesnt want to go out with other girls!

Posted 3 months ago #
Klunk - Member

If you want to keep riding with your missus, just accept that she won't be as fast as you. When I ride with Lizzie I just accept that I'm not going to get a workout and just enjoy spending the time sharing what I love with her.
Don't force her to do speeds she's uncomfortable with, or you'll soon find she won't want to go biking with you.

this ^^ i've given up explaining what all the levers do, just glad she rides.

Posted 3 months ago #
juan - Member

Get her sorted out with SPDs too.

Don't... That as to come fro her. SPD is probably the trickiest bit of riding. The SO can ride her way down to a fair amount of the local stages of enduro, in flat. She is absolutely adamant that she won't ride in flat as the idea to being stuck to the bike scare the living crap out of her.
Keep in mind that woman can't switch their brain off. They will always react and think more than bloke will. So as for riding

Posted 3 months ago #
Stoner - Member

I occasionally ride with Mrs S.

She can run sub 3hr marathons, run races 4,000ft of climbing, be first out of the water in a tri swim, and generally beast me in the fitness stakes. BUT she's not a particularly strong cyclist. The last 6 months she's been doing a bit more bike work to get her strength up and she's now much better just about able to keep with me on the climbs. And Im a 90Kg biffer, but I have quads (hidden under blubber) that are used to cranking me and SS around 4 nights a week.

I wont bother riding anything more technical than gravel double track with her though, as she just doesnt have the handling skills to keep up on twisty singletrack (or indeed to want to keep up - it's just not something that interests her).

But if Mrs S, who's a fitness nut, can only just keep up with a casual riding beer swilling monsta like me, then bear in mind just how much of a difference your physiology over hers can make.

Posted 3 months ago #
Ladders - Member

Well, you could also make sure her bike is right for her. If you haven't already, check the saddle height and reach and all that sort of thing. Get her sorted out with SPDs too.

Make sure she has all the right clothes and they are comfortable too. Is she getting dehydrated - make sure plenty water.

If that doesn't work tell her there is a giant snake chasing her down the road.

The bike is set up right for her now. I don't think she would ride with SPD's. She doesnt like any 'proper' cycle kit! I always make sure she has plenty of water etc.

Posted 3 months ago #
PJM1974 - Member

Don't force her to do speeds she's uncomfortable with, or you'll soon find she won't want to go biking with you.

+1

If she's got girlie friends who like to ride then so much the better. Take the pressure off for a while.

You can also play to her strengths. I'm fitter than MrsPJM1974 as I cycle more, but she's really, really good at some of the technical stuff when she's not thinking too much about it. The moment she feels pressurized then she'll stack it, much like myself. Mrs PJM1974 is also a pretty handy rock climber and is capable of achieving climbs a several grades higher than me, so it's swings and roundabouts.

Posted 3 months ago #
Ladders - Member

I've no idea what to suggest, other than don't force the issue.

Fingers crossed she gets more confident/faster over time.

If I were in this situation I would struggle with this though, knowing that it's impossible to be 'trying' whilst only achieving 8mph ... my 5yo son can go faster on his kids bike

That's what I thought! But if anything she's getting slower!

I almost think I need someone else to come out with and to say 'your riding at 8mph, that's not trying!'

Posted 3 months ago #
FuzzyWuzzy - Member

+1 for getting her to ride with other women instead a couple of times.
Or buy her a HRM and prove she's being lazy
Or go on a night ride with her, drop her, circle around and make strange noises and see if she speeds up

Posted 3 months ago #
juan - Member

But if Mrs S, who's a fitness nut, can only just keep up with a casual riding beer swilling monsta like me, then bear in mind just how much of a difference your physiology over hers can make.

I hate thread when I have to agree with him... Have a read at the Issue 69 (IIRC) about why blokes ride better than girls.

Posted 3 months ago #
Ladders - Member

Have you tried any rail centre's? Thats worth giving a go. It makes the ride a bit more interesting. And trail centres like Llandegla are full of a really mixed set of ages and abilities, so she won't be overwhelmed. Plus there's the whole social side of having some lunch at the cafe afterwards

I'm thinking of going to some trial centre etc and trying that sort of thing, make it more interesting.

Also was going to go to a few of the Ride It events and see if those inspire her a bit? (she seemed quite up for it!)

Posted 3 months ago #
Ladders - Member

Lol at the Snake and Night Ride comments!

Posted 3 months ago #
PJM1974 - Member

Maybe find some points of interest along the way...for example one of our local pubs sells cupcakes. Mrs PJM1974 rides like bloody lightning when there's the promise of a cupcake there.

Have a read at the Issue 69 (IIRC) about why blokes ride better than girls.

They do? Crikey, I've lost count of the amount of times I've been passed by a rider with better balance, control and fitness than I that just so happens to be female. And believe me, I'm no slouch!

Posted 3 months ago #
emsz - Member

Weirdly my gf is like mrs stoner, she's a demon on a road bike, and can run all day, but she's rubbish off road, really slow, can't do anything remotely techy and gets flustered and cross.

All our MTB rides are gentle pootles to the pub or along the river or out for a Picnic and back.

If I want to get bashed in I go out with my dad LOL

Posted 3 months ago #
K - Member

Try riding behind her then you will find it easier to regulate your speed to match hers.

You can also practice your wheelies and manuals whilst you are out of sight. (just don't crash your brains out and get left behind)

Posted 3 months ago #
scaled - Member

Get a BMX and lark about while you wait for her and pop off every root/stone/kerb?

Posted 3 months ago #
Klunk - Member

luckily Mrs Klunk is pretty good off road though quite slow, loves penmachno and will ride the Beast at CyB, though the noises she makes suggest shes terrified

Posted 3 months ago #
B.A.Nana - Member

ladders
... and I think we'd both enjoy it more than me rolling off having to wait all the time

This will be her biggest issue IMO, struggling at the back on her own all the time, punctuated by you stood waiting for her round every corner/top of every hill. Very demoralising, very quickly I think.

so we could do something that we both enjoyed doing together.

... and I think we'd both enjoy it more than me rolling off having to wait all the time

Run that by me again ladders? cos I bet she doesn't feel like you're 'doing it together'.

Posted 3 months ago #
Ladders - Member

+1 for getting her to ride with other women instead a couple of times.

She wouldn't ride with any woman she sees as 'proper cyclists' unfortunetly.

Posted 3 months ago #
sobriety - Member

Try riding behind her then you will find it easier to regulate your speed to match hers.

I tried that with my ex, she got nervous about me following her/holding me up. I just couldn't win!

Posted 3 months ago #
juan - Member

They do? Crikey, I've lost count of the amount of times I've been passed by a rider with better balance, control and fitness than I that just so happens to be female. And believe me, I'm no slouch!

You too should read the article then

Posted 3 months ago #
mountaingorilla - Member

If she's faster on the more technical rides then perhaps she's just bored with the stuff you're currently doing. I'd take her on some more challenging rides - just don't push it too much. MountainMonkey (the wife) ended up stuck in a tree on one of our first rides together...

Posted 3 months ago #
Ladders - Member

Think your twisting my words B.A.Nana!

Thing is, it's really, really hard to ride with, or behind someone who is riding at 8mph! Perhaps I'll just trying riding behind her (again) then next time.

Posted 3 months ago #