[Closed] MTBing with the Missus?

90% of the riding I do is with the wife, we're at pretty much the same level, she might be a bit fitter than me but i'm a bit quicker on the tech bits. We've been riding together that long that its wierd when riding with someone else.

One thing i'll say is to make sure you comment on things she's doing well, dont get annoyed as it'll just make you dread riding with her. Focus on the positive and there's no reason you can't go for rides by yourself if you need to get out and ride as fast as you possibly can!

Think i'm pretty lucky though!

Yeah, pretty well summed up.

My wife is just the same. I realised that she wanted to do things WITH me, but not at my level, so riding with her and the kids is wheelie practise time for me.
Everyone benefits and I'm normally the slower one.

Unfortunately my lad now thinks this is normal behaviour and I can't really tell him otherwise!

never again will I try to get a partner to ride. The thing is with bikes is that I like the effort, and the challenge, and getting out of breath, if i'm not doing that then it's not really what I'm there for.

Nothing wrong with having separate interests, I for one will be keeping Bikes just for me (unless they already ride as fast or faster than me, which, in fairness wouldn't be that difficult).

Nothing wrong with having separate interests, I for one will be keeping Bikes just for me

amen.

My wife has this strange aversion to riding uphill... On the flat or downhill she flies and could easily join in our regular informal club rides. As soon as there is the slightest incline, she just gives in.

Very strange.

my beloved is the other way around. She climbs like a mountain goat!

Do what I do (I hate forcing a speed-up, it never goes down well). Just ride a BIT faster each time, she'll naturally keep up so as not to get lost off the back. The other option is a soft-target - we need to be back for 4:15 for a meal I've booked, lets see if we can make it...

Try taking her to a spin class. Lots of ladies. Lots of sweat and no one knows how hard or fast she's going. Maybe she'll get the idea and start to push it outside as well. And you can get a workout too.

Spin classes are a good idea!

Her radometer is set to pootle. With time it'll shift up a touch.

Woah, woah, woah, wait... it has a higher setting than pootle?

I ache, that vid.
Ermmmmm 😳 LOL

Mrs R can keep up if she wants to but needs to know how exactly where we are going, how far it is, and when it will end. I'm keen to get her on a skills lesson to build her confidence and hopefully she'll join the ladies at Hervelo soon.

I ache, that vid.
Ermmmmm LOL

Do tell then 😉

I just built another bike for the GF (my brothers old dirt jump bike wasn't really right for her). I've made it as light as I can, but I'm still not holding out much hope she's going to love riding it. (If it wasn't about 4 sizes to small for me it'd be about the fastest thing I've ever ridden though)

We ladies really hate being told what to do by our other halves when it comes to mtbing.
Maybe you could invite someone else along on your rides, another couple for instance. Then she may feel some competition and put a spurt on.

Also some woman really won't go any faster than pootle pace because real mtbing scares them. I'm still scared and have been mtbing for many years.

Promise of cake always speeds up my pace 🙂

go on a night ride with her, drop her, circle around and make strange noises and see if she speeds up

^^^This may work in the short term, long term consequences will be dangerous. 😉

At the moment it sounds like she is comparing herself to you, accepting you're "better", and taking the option of not trying cos' you'll always be faster. Sort of saving her pride , in a way. You can help by not competing, or pointing out the differences, just being supportive.
The group ride (Ride it etc...) sounds like the best idea. There'll be people of all abilities (and shapes and sizes) and she'll see that going a bit faster is ok. She may even find a hidden competitive streak when she gets overtaken by someone she sees as more of a "peer".

Have you tried telling her that she's ruining your favourite pastime?

I have two tips for riding with women

1. Accept any ride you take her on will be slow & scenic, don't get worked up about it.

2. If you get the urge for some alfresco sex use a condom or she will moan (probably justifiably) about her soggy chamois for the remainder of the ride.

😯

Grizla +1.

If you are going to get an irrational and negative reaction to your help, why bother? You'd walk away if it was anyone else.

Ladders

You're a decent roadie so your always going to be a lot faster than her - when Mrs and I first started riding I often thought she wasn't trying but she would insist she was, it took a fair while for her to build up speed even though she was a strong athlete and could do the distances.

Rather than a trail centre perhaps take her out to peaslake / holmbury where there's less road riding involved and she'll have to work a bit more (not just speed but upper body as well) than richmond park and esher common.

Can you find another couple to ride with? Then the blokes can "race" and the girls can enjoy a pleasant ride 🙂
There's nothing worse than having to play "catch-up" - I should know!
Dunno where you live, but we have a quite active group of ladies who "enjoy the scenery" here in the North West - we love pootling* up hills, and down hills.
* for pootling, read walking 😀

One of the advantages of being a somewhat sedate rider like me, is that most semi-competent women can keep up on a bike and are often faster in fact. I quite envy you all - being harangued by a furious partner for not being able to hack the pace is quite stressful. Be kind.

Go out on a 22x20 geared singlespeed and you'll be doing 8mph on the flat too.

Sorted.

BWD - it drives me mad though always having to wait for you 😉

Lady Gresley - ah ha I know who you are now. I once led a beginners ride around Lyme park. Lots of wags on that ride, a few years ago now. I'm sure you must be a lot faster and fitter now?

Well quick update. We're 7/8 months into her having the new bike and......

......What a waste of money! 🙁

After her not riding the bike for months as she wont go out on it if it's below 10ºc, I went to all the effort to take both the bikes on holiday a couple of weeks ago when we went to Cornwall. We had two or three days when the weather was surprisingly good.

I thought it would be really nice to ride the 2 miles to the ferry to Rock, to cross over to Padstow for fish and chips the first day we had some nice weather. After explaining my plan for a lovely day out all I got was 'where we going??' 'It's not going to be too far is it??' 'Which way we going?' in an irratated tone.

We set off anyway, 2 miles along the coast by the sea, beautiful scenery, riding on the beach in the spray in the hot sun! Stop, and it's 'Can't we put a basket on this (mountain bike) so I can carry stuff! (handbag, coat, bodywarmer etc etc!)' I give up!

Now wondering if I should ebay it!

'Can't we put a basket on this (mountain bike) so I can carry stuff!

Perfectly reasonable request.

Now wondering if I should ebay it!

What bike, size, how much do you want etc???

Now wondering if I should ebay it!

ebay her, and get another one in a similar size 😀

What bike, size, how much do you want etc???

Only wondering out loud to be honest! I'd get nothing for it 2nd hand really I should think

ebay her, and get another one in a smaller size

More than happy to give you nothing for it. Cheers.

ebay her, and get another one in a similar size

That likes mountain biking?? 😀

Tandem - thats what worked for us / why we got one

Ah but Jeremy, can you imagine the cost of a tandem and there's no saying she'll like riding that either?

Oh dear, I was very resistant to the whole mountain-biking thing when I got together with bf. Although I used to be quite handy on a road bike, I did wonder what those monstrous things on wheels were for. Started to see the light when he lent me an Ibis Mojo to get up an snow-bound and undriveable lane. It was a kind of grooming process. He just kind of left bikes lying around that I could use when I wanted. I *do* like being outdoors and they kind of became irresistible.

We've done loads since but it has been an interesting process - I wouldn't wear 'proper' gear at all to start with. He just left me to it. I would potter behind him working stuff out and if I did something well he was always very vocally impressed.

It took ages to get used to the idea of low gears (we live in Calderdale - I used to throw myself at hills in as big a gear as possible and end up in agony - he had to teach me to use the granny ring). If I got cross because I couldn't do things he would offer advice (I still have to chant 'elbows down' to stop my front wheel lifting on some climbs) but rarely does he tell me what to do. Although he did (quite recently) make me ride straight at a kerb to prove that forks actually work (I was having a scared-of-everything day).

I wouldn't say I wasn't confident in general but I did quite a lot of obfuscating - saying and doing slightly random things to obscure that I was a bit out of my depth.

Just been on a Great Rock skills course on Saturday - I only asked to do one after over a year of mountain-biking but it was *ACE*. I didn't realise until the following day - we were booked in to do the Dyfi Enduro and I was looking forward to the fire road climbs but not the descents. All changed - I did World Cup in one go. Wearing spds...

Obviously I don't know your girlfriend but maybe she just needs to do some stuff on her own to get her confidence levels up? It sounds like she feels a bit under pressure.

I'm with JT. My Mrs is not unfit and runs a fair bit too. But on a solo bike she's just sooo slow. So we got one of these! Now do local 10m TT's and sportives.
[IMG] [/IMG]

My missus rides bikes... she is teh awesums.

I still have more bikes than her though... can't let that statistic slide!

Does she genuinely want to ride or is you that wants her to?

I would suggest that she rides with other girlies to take the pressure off!

That was my reply to your original post ^^

Am probably one of the few, possibly only, girlie on here that wasn't 'persuaded' to ride. It was only my kids riding bikes that got me interested! Ex never wanted to so I just found myself pootling around the countryside on my own. 8)

I still feel my advice was good. 🙂

What Clover said I think...

Be honest, is your missus doing the riding for her benefit or yours? From what you're saying she's not enjoyed it so far. If she does no other exercise then she's probably going to want to start somewhere on her own terms first.

I would be the first to admit that mrsPJM1974 has in the past cycled under duress, but a nasty injury a few years back has put her confidence back a long way so I just let the issue drop off the agenda for a while. She's got an amazing bike - which has seen several "stealth" upgrades based on the feedback she's given me, but even with the most shapely brake levers possible, she'd still rather be sat scoffing a slice of Battenberg whilst reading Jack Reacher than honking up a rocky slope. And I cannot blame her for that.

Recently, she's been giving spinning classes a go and her progress has been remarkable. She turned to me this morning and said "You know, I'm thinking of taking my bike out later".

I don't care if she's the fastest woman on two wheels, or if she cycles to the local pub for a medicinal cider on the way, just so long as she's getting something out of it. I've just made it a little easier by consigning her Apollo Nasty to the skip and building her a Marin full suss up instead.

CB, I wasn't persuaded. Oh no, I am goat-like and obstinate so he knew better than to try anything that direct. I'd say 'groomed'. He's scarily subtle, never met anyone like him but I am sure others could learn. 😀

He just kind of left bikes lying around that I could use when I wanted.

Hey I do that and all I ever get is 'When are you going to move those bloody bikes?'. Still, at least she's just about accepted having them in the house. For a good while it was seriously suggested that they go in a cold damp cellar or even worse, in a garden shed.

It's an interesting one. I like cycling which predated me getting together with my OH. I still like cycling (and I've bought three bikes to his one in the last year...). But I prefer doing it on my own rather than with him.

On my own I can go along at my own pace and not be worried if I have to get off and walk sections. When I'm with him I get frustrated about how much easier he makes everything look, how much faster he goes on road, how much stronger he is on hills, how much better he is on technical stuff. The feeling that I'm holding him back or being pathetic then spoils my own enjoyment a bit.

I guess we get different things out of it. He likes pushing himself, whether that's technical off road stuff or beasting himself on the road. I like getting outside, seeing the scenery, stopping for refreshments but not worrying too much about speed or distance. My current plan is to get him jealous of my new cross bike and persuade him to get one to do less technical off road stuff where there's less of a need for speed, but nothing that will freak me out.

May I make a suggestion? Leave the bike where it's easy for her to get to, ensure tyres are pumped and chain is lubed. You never know, she may take it for a spin when you're not around!

Good luck. 🙂

PS What did you get in the end?

Clover - ah but it sounds as though you were hooked on two (larger) wheels anyway! 🙂

Am probably one of the few, possibly only, girlie on here that wasn't 'persuaded' to ride.

Clover - you do have the best boyfriend on here though for leaving bikes around 😉