The bar b didn’t get hot enough and mum had to finish the burgers off in the oven…. Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

Hang your head in shame 😐

You should be stoned to death…..

Pack your bags. Leave. Don’t look back. Your family deserve better.

bigbloke – Member
You should be stoned to death….

With part-frozen sausages 😆

wronger than a wrong thing. I admire your honesty, but, no, it’s just all wrong!

And opens by blaming his tools. Shakes head and tuts loudly in your general direction.

you’re fine, I’ve never even started a barBQ which apparently makes me camper than julian clarey riding a pink unicorn 😀

I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries

🙂

what”s pink unicorn meat taste like? mmn..

Jesus Christ Fenton …!!!

what”s pink unicorn meat taste like? mmn..

meaty with a slightly salty creamy sauce 😉

your failure was not the barbecue not getting hot enough.
it was the abscence of resolution.
petrol.

Whats a barbecue then ?

Is it some kind of outdoor panini press ?
You’ll catch something eating outdoors. Theres flies & things. Eurgh.

Whats a barbecue then ?

it’s a safe little grill for those that aren’t allowed to play with real fire 😀

I see this thread has attracted far more interest than my “what charcoal” one! Bastards 😆

Hand your penis back and leave with the little dignity you have left.

I’m especially liking the way that mum had to finish the burgers off under the grill – presumably because you weren’t allowed to play with electricity.

10/10 🙂 – we salute you

ha, today I had some amazingly tasty sausages, bacon, ( well pancetta) chicken and burgers all cooked on a oak fire, in the woods – Food allways better cooked this way

I managed to set the actual barbecue on fire… we had really rather burnt burgers and sausages! Oops…

<smug>my house has a BBQ built in, uses the same chimney as the fireplace</smug>

Less smugly, winter BBQs with a roaring fire indoors are out of the question, unless you want a house that stinks of chorizo and morcilla.

The only manly use of a hairdryer is to blast furnace a BBQ into rapid blazing action. Next time (see, leaving you a life line there) put down the straighteners, reach for the hairdryer (or paint stripper seeing as in your case even partial failure is total failure) and get it right!

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sab2Ltm1WcM[/video]

Thought op said “my mum” then. Had a whole new meaning to life skills.

Get yourself one of these and you wont go wrong…….

My best friend 8)

anyone that mentions even the thought of a gas fired bbq gets stoned to *Going to the offie to get the beers* to death.

I’ll get the beers in then 🙁

At least the food’ll will be cooked!

anyone that mentions even the thought of a gas fired bbq gets stoned to *Going to the offie to get the beers* to death.

Well, the aussies are renowned for BBQs, and they all use gas ones

I suggest to you sir, that all that is left for you to do is the honourable thing….

😉

Gas BBQ’s – a bit like alcohol-free lager.

i.e. what’s the point.

Ideal for the terminally lazy though, or people who can’t even manage to successfully set fire to something that’s naturally extremely easy to set fire to …

Burgers cook in about 5 minutes – were you using matches instead of charcoal? God help the chicken.

Fanny 😉

Gas BBQ’s – a bit like alcohol-free lager.

i.e. what’s the point.

I forget that it rains too much back in Blighty for you to use a BBQ to cook most nights 😆

They were morrisons “the best” apparently and you have to cook them from frozen???? I may never pick up my bar b tongues again as its left me thoroughly ashamed and traumatised!

And you read the cooking instructions too?

You really don’t have a clue do you?

Hand in your shed keys and report to the nearest florists.

Me and the lads will be round shortly to own you with 60 odd chicken kebabs and several empty lager cans.

Was the BBQ far away from civilization? Or was it in your garden? If the latter it is inexcusable, you have an electrical device designed to cook meat not a few steps away…

Gas Barby? You mean a ‘cooker’? Just one you, somewhat bizarrely, had installed in the garden instead of the kitchen?

😉

Oh… and hats off to Harry for sticking to the cooking lager while you were….erm… cooking 😀

Oh… and hats off to Harry for sticking to the cooking lager while you were….erm… cooking

Cheers fella,

We did it properly that afternoon.

20+ of us on a MTB weekend – Check
Pissed – Check
Sun burnt – Check
Kebabs – Check
Lager fuelled football match check – Check
Fairly nasty knee injury after chasing the ball and falling into a drainage ditch hidden by long grass. – Check

hairdryer / hot air stripper sounds fun, but what you need is a chimney starter. The best way i can describe it, is that it’s like the difference between bodging a headset in with wood and a mallet and having a proper press. Everyone should do it the manly way to show they can, but once proven then get the right tool for the job.

Load it up with charcoal, light a ball of newspaper, put the chimney down on top and then sit back with a beer for 15 mins. Blow on it a couple of times for effect (and to see what sticking your face onto the surface of the sun would feel like) and then pour onto the grate and start going.

(not me)

As for feeling manly. Camping holiday last year, my mate was blowing his grill to get it going hot enough for hours while I’d lit, cooked, and eaten on mine. Finally his wife snapped and asked if she could move her sausages onto the remnants of our grill so she could eat that evening. That’s proper pwned!