see that Julian. Nae worries - I can seee I have really annoyed people on here tonight. However I will never accept advocating violence as an answer. It just perpetuates the culture of violence.
Please note Ton is not denying he has done time for violence and has used violence to get his own way.
I know TJ pretty well - like to think of him as a good mate for life i hope. I can see his point of view and see where he is coming from and i think in real life he wouldn't be so 'vocal'.
However, i am more of the mind to take Ton's approach to the problem. He didn't say he would actually beat someone, but to warn them instead.
This works.
I went to a pretty rough boarding school and know deep down that punching the shit out of someone is the worst way to deal with a problem. The threat of it is a good substitute.
No kids yet for me but i reckon i would be on the Ton school of thought but until i have the experience of life TJ and Ton have then i can't really comment with any authority.
To stick up for Teej- he is the man in the pub you can have an argument with all night but he will have your back if stuff went wrong.
Both sides have validity.
teej is right.
i did time for wounding in my teens.
and if someone attacked my kids, i would do time again.....with a clear conscience and at ease to what i had done.
i have friends in the courts and friends in the kind of 'system' these people have never come across in their tragic lives.
a mother who is goading her daughter to get stuck in a bit more is not likely to respond to a quiet chat, or a slapping.
there are other ways. any violence on my part and the revenge won't be taken against me. i prefer to dump an apocalypse on their heads which they'll never have experienced before. although i hope it won't come to it as i'm a bit busy these days.
tomorrow will reveal whether it's going to go away, but i'll also be informing plod of the new threats.
simply saying
ton, you're saying very little "simply" mate. You know that though don't you? 
I'm just thankful I'm out of reach...I'd be scared if I was within biking distance of a big scary guy like you.
dd, come home for aweek in the summer to visit family...... 
we can meet up for a ride
kaesae - Member
Fair enough tandem jeremy restraint works on one person, but if there are more than one what then?The police must use violence to inforce the law by involving them you are a party to the violence they employ.
Why exactly did your flat mate hit you?
Probably bored him to within an inch of his life, as he would not shut the f%$k up..
It's the 'net, and for most of us, a hypothetical problem. Violence, as TJ says is not the answer, and anyone who thinks it is could do worse than spend a day or so in Intensive Care watching people weeping over the latest hero or his victim..
Any of you seen the results of a proper beating?
The shoe prints on faces?
The defence wounds on forearms?
The head swollen up to the size of a melon?
Any of you had to tell Mum/wife/children that he's not going to wake up?
Or worse, that he's woken up and that drooling moaning thing will need 24 hour care for the rest of his 'life'?
That's what I do.
Where's home then?
we can meet up for a ride
The guy who does my circuit training is a martial arts instructor. I'll see how much he charges
Now, TeeJ and ton...say sorry, shake hands and move on. You're only fuelling everyone else's enjoyment by fighting?
iDave - sorry for hijacking your thread.
to go back a bit - you sound very level headed to me. What my father did when I was being bullied was to ensure I had the physical and mental attributes to deal with it. I learnt self defence - not fighting and I learnt to walk away with my head held high and not to respond to provocation. ( I should remember that on here sometimes )
This was key to my way of dealing with teh bullies. Refuse to play their game, refuse to let it get to me and eventually I gained their respect and actually helped them stop being bullies.
I never once hit one of them.
TandemJeremy
I think in the situations you desribed you used the right course of action. In those situations violence wouldn't have helped at all, I do disagree that violence should never be an opition though. As we all find ourselves in situations where it is necessary from time to time.
Grappling and restraint might work on one individual but more than one and you'll be in real trouble.
Everything that has been said about dealing with situations is valid! all the name calling and provocation is bullsh1t. We don't have to agree, these threads could be about analyzing other perspectives and gaining a better grasp of the situation.
That said I'm all for chucking sh1t if everyone else is?
drooling moaning thing
Sounds like the offspring of a ton-TJ union 
Seriously though, you speak the truth crikey.
You might find this article of interest:
Me vs the Kids
It gives some insight into how the system worked in one particular case. Given some of the comments above, it's interesting to see the problems the victim encountered despite playing things by the book. Had he taken the law into his own hands, it seems pretty clear the outcome would have been much worse.
[The guy who does my circuit training is a martial arts instructor. I'll see how much he charges
Your point being? (read my earlier thread)
Your point being? (read my earlier thread)
Well, I was only (jokingly) letting ton know, I'd be able to look after myself if he got shirty when we "met" for a chat
Ok TJ, now you have managed a rational and non-abusive post your point of view becomes clearer. I myself was bullied as a child (the details are irrelevant) and I do not advocate violence. But it does have its uses.
My son at age 11 was bullied by two kids in his year; one day they both started on him in the toilets and he had them both up against the wall by their throats. No violence, just letting them know he wouldn't put up with any more crap. They've been mates ever since.
Last year I broke up a fight between two blood-soaked teenagers (both pissed) because my 6 year old daughter and her friends were about to come out of their Rainbows club and I didn't want them witnessing it. Got between them and fended off blows meant for each other but stopped it without further violence.
So I do see where your thinking lies.
When its your kids though and they're innocent it's different, and that's why they have a Man as a Father - evolutionary necessity.
Guys
My daughter was picked on by a scrote on her way back from school, I am no hero but saw the red flash went to his home and his daddy did not want to come out to play.
His dad had to drive past my house at times io eventually caughjt up with him, his son would not do any thing like bully.
Daughter showed to him still with gravel scratches to her face and side.
Shock he said he would deal with it.Fair play he came to our house with his son and apologised for the injuries caused Son not Father.
He then tried to laugh it of children would be children.Told to F--- o=f
Touch my daughter and do damage you die.
TJ gro up family especially offspring people would die for and this now means Grandkids.
You are a Tw@ children need to be protected until thier teens.
Bass
crikey, what you describe is what i want to prevent happening.
my daughter stood up for someone else, then had to stand up for herself.
now i need to stand up for her, which I will do.
if there is any escalation tomorrow the hounds will be let loose but there will be no violence from my side, just mayhem.
on the self defence thing, i'll ask the scrotums to hold off for a few months while she gets some training?
crikey
I agree! but still it is better the scum bag is in hospital than you or yours?
Given a choce of do nothing when you know someone intends your loved ones harm and hoping the police will sort it out? or doing what ever is necessary.
I would always be willing to do what ever is needed regardless of what it costs me in temrs of consiquences.
That said, you sound like you have a hard job to do, keep your chin up!
being a dad does make you sometimes see the red mist .
4 years ago on the morning I was setting off to drive to italy with a few mates for a cycling hol .
02.00 knock on the door so grogily go down to answer 2 plod there .
are you XXXs dad , fearing the worst i say yes we have had a phone call from her that she is being held against her will in a flat by an asian boy .
we have been round there but no one answered the door .
I says where is this flat , They say they cant tell me but if XXX gets in touch to let them know .
you can probably imagine how I am feeling now .
plod goes off .
I start making calls to her mates and eventually one that knows the guy in question and where he lives .
by now it is 06.00 so I go in my van round to this address and start banging on the door to no avail . this place is like a fortress with roller shutters on the doors and windows .
anyways an asian guy was coming down the street and he says hey the curtains up there moved so there must be some one in , by this time all rational thought has gone , My daughter is in there and I want her back .
So outside is this black toyota all shiny I go back to my van to see what weapons I have normally lots of tools but cos Iam going away it is empty except for my Kneekicker ( I am a carpet fitter )
so I grabs this and winds out the spikes to max .
goes back and stands next to this black shiny car and shouts up to the window " if XXX is not out of there in 30 second then I start dismantleing this car .
in 20 seconds the roller shutter starts to go up and he pushes her out in tears and quickly shuts the door .
at this time it was probably for me the best thing he could do because I would have killed him in the most painfull way possible because of the red mist and the thought he had my Girl , This was the most angry I have ever been in my life and I know I would have not stopped hitting him till he was dead , that is what it is like to be a dad with one of yours in danger .
Any of you seen the results of a proper beating?
Wot Crikey said +++++++.
Very hard to turn back the clock once you are in ICU.
Step back, calm down.
iDave
tai boxing, a lot of fun and very good range of weapons.
it's also a good way to keep fit, once a week and it shouldn't cost too much.
and yes it takes time to learn but once you do, no matter what the situation you will be more likely to come out on top.
genghispod
Thank you.
I do not accept that bullies should be allowed to be unchallenged and IMO Ton is a bully - hence I will challenge him.
you sassenachs are sooooo civilised 
I had the fortune of growing up in Glasgow.
A few lads used to bully a kid in my registration class quite badly. We must have been about 14 at the time.
The kid's dad and his fatty mate waited at the school gates one day and kicked the utter shit out of 5 of us walking home from school together - only two of the group actually bullied the boy. I had my nose broken by a fist and a cracked elbow from a golf club wielded by a 40 year old skin head for no reason at all
We all knew who did it, and why. None of us fancied another beating so we told our parents we got into a fight with some other lads.
I once started a rather harmless rumour at school that a lad was gay and I spotted him wanking our maths teacher off in the toilets.
About 2 days later, his alcoholic father knocked on my front door, politely asked my mother if I was around, and then, with my mother standing beside me at the door, dragged me outside and smacked me clean in the face. I was 16.
If you don't mind the risk of a criminal record (which you're running no matter who any threat or violent attack is aimed at), you might as well just punch the silly cow that beat up your daughter.
<moderated>
If it was me, I probably wouldn't take the violence route though.
Persistent threatening phone calls at 3am and sitting with your car headlights on the house just after doing it generally gives them the shitters and the cops are pretty powerless (unless you call from your mobile doh!)
trout
Sounds pretty horrific!
<moderated>
Jesus Christ.
What a great thread, violence, agression,bullying,swearing,and no real answers to the original question,but a whole similar situation it apears.
I dont agree with volence but could definately batter to destruction TJ,s keyboard tonight.
Jeezo trout - that sounds nasty indeed. Hope she was OK.
Peterfile - I grew up in glasgow as well.
Seriously fellas, I see things that I'd rather not have seen, things that really get through 22 years of experience.
I can sit all night and talk about the horror stories, but the point is that violence isn't an easily measured thing, it doesn't come in discrete packages, it doesn't have an off switch or a 'you've gone a bit far' monitor.
You can kill or seriously injure people, or get killed or seriously injured yourself, very, very easily.
Take it easy, step back a bit, think of tomorrow, think of the consequences...
i could show her some krav maga but don't want her in youth court for assault. for now i've told her to avoid and run.
<moderated>
Jesus Christ.
+1
Haven't heard one like that in a loooong time...clever.
idave - it sounds as though you've got this pretty much sorted, but good luck anyway. Again, to all you keyboard warriors, it's one thing fantasising about commiting acts of violence, but quite another when you actually have to face it. Yes, sometimes it's inevitable, but in my not inconsiderable experience, there are far better ways to resolve conflict. And without wanting to embarrass tj, I suspect with his background working in health, he's seen more violence and aggression than most of you put together.
And peterfile, you really might want to rethink that rape comment...
Kaesae It was
and the good news was both me and my girl both came out the other side OK with no lasting damage.
peterfile - Member
you sassenachs are sooooo civilisedI had the fortune of growing up in Glasgow.
I once started a rather harmless rumour at school that a lad was gay and I spotted him wanking our maths teacher off in the toilets.
About 2 days later, his alcoholic father knocked on my front door, politely asked my mother if I was around, and then, with my mother standing beside me at the door, dragged me outside and smacked me clean in the face. I was 16.
Posted 2 minutes ago # Report-Post
That must be the saddest most stupid comment ever,you could have ruined the teachers career,his life and his relationship with who ever,pity the dag didnt bend you over and.................,now that would be legal now at 16.
Just going to add this in.
There are of course times when you are caught in a situation where violence may be the only option to get you out of a trapped corner so to speak.
However, going round to sort someone out is very different. Of course it may be tempting but the point is that this is pre-meditated. The courts take a very dim view of this and your in an even worse situation.
Try your best to keep a level head, very easy for me to say here but it is in your best interest.
As a mate used to say - always try to run away. If you can't run away then try to talk your way out of it. If you can't talk your way out of it then hit them as hard as you can.... then run away.
I really do hope you get this sorted as soon as possible and back to your normal life.
This topic has been closed to new replies.
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
