Anyone had any experience of these? Our girls (4 months this week) are about to be shipped into their own room (whey!) but my wife isn't keen on doing it until we have those monitors that beep if they don't sense breathing for 30 seconds.

Now I am not particularly convinced about the need for them, but as my wife carried the girls, gave birth to them and does the vast majority of their care, I am not about to argue with her – whatever makes her feel comfortable I am happy with.

So – any recommendations etc?

Cheers

M-F

What would you do should one of them stop breathing? You certainly need to know the answer to that question before it's worthwhile getting a monitor. Mouth to mouth and chest compressions are not so simple with tiny babies….

I wouldn't go there. I don't know how reliable they are but any false positives will give freak you out. Assuming they've been healthy so far you've got to appreciate they're robust little things. Besides if you believe the twin thing they'll look out for each other… 😮

Of course there's a million anxieties when you're a new parent so it's your decision but we decided pretty quickly this was one thing we didn't need.

What are you going to do if they stop breathing?

A lot more if we know within 30 seconds of it happening than if we find out the following morning.

Mouth to mouth

Is simple – the mouth goes over the mouth and nose of the baby rather than pinching the nose with your fingers as you do in other circumstances.

and chest compressions

Are treated in the same way as you would with a child/adult.

MF don't do it – you'll be running upstairs every 2 minutes & you'll be a nervous wreck
babies stop breathing [or at least they sound like they have] regularly

And anyway – I said up front I am not convinced about the need for them but if it makes my wife more content then I am happy to use them.

Calm down – I'm only making the point that education on first aid procedures specific to babies is required if your potential purchase of a breathing monitor is going to be an effective measure.

A friend has a "respisense" monitor that attaches to the nappy and despite some false alarms, he is happy and the nipper is still alive.

I understand the anxiety but I'm not sure these things are a good idea, I can't see how they could work reliably with the babies moving around. We decided against. Do you use dummies?

MF – as your wife has expressed her wishes on this one, you're not left with much choice really
What are you going to do when babysitters are looking after them? – it's very easy to get yourself into a situation where you can't let go a bit & that's not healthy for anyone
When our first one was 6 months we left her with her grandmother & tootled off to Scarborough for a weekend – we got there Friday @7 & left the next morning @ 5 because the missus couldn't settled or believe that my mother could cope 🙂

If it makes your wife happy – why not.

Checking the Which? website, the 4 'best buys' do not come with a motion mat, but the 5th best overall does, with a score of 83% against their number 1 best buy at 88%. It is the Tommee Tippee Suresound Deluxe Ultimate.

about £85

Is simple – the mouth goes over the mouth and nose of the baby rather than pinching the nose with your fingers as you do in other circumstances.

Are treated in the same way as you would with a child/adult

Are you sure I was told you could literally burst their lungs, also chest compressions are carried out with no more than 2 fingers…

tbh I wouldnt bother with breathing monitors unless they have stopped breathing in the past. Weve never needed more than a normal monitor with our littlun and will be using it again with the new baby…. due about nowish..!

And how do they work im assuming they dont have to wear HR straps…??

Are you sure I was told you could literally burst their lungs, also chest compressions are carried out with no more than 2 fingers…

That is what we were told at a first aid presentation at the SCBU (Special Care Baby Unit) at Harrogate Hospital. Regarding the chest compressions, we were told they are much more resilient than you would think and a reasonable amount of force is okay.

At the end of the day, I wasn't asking the question about whether or not we NEED one and only Barry Bethel seems to have understood my question.

My only real concern is to make sure we get the most recommended one so my wife has the reassurance that she is doing what she can to look after her babies and we have the best kit for the job. And if that helps her relax and sleep of a night then I am a happy man.

m_f- chest compressions on some adults requires serious force (rib-cracking isn't unheard of). The same force on a small child or infant would crush their ribcage and severely damage internal organs.

I know exactly where MF is coming from. I managed to talk the wife out of it by evidence based logic – SIDS / cot death is incredibly rare and the majority of cases seem to be ultimately not random, there are other risk factors such as loose covers vs sleeping bags, smoking in the house, sleeping on their fronts, and so on. But if it make her happy, that's what counts. I'd also suggest that at 4 months they are well past the significant risk. However – the first night our youngest starting turning over I was in every 10 minutes turning her back over in case. Soon gave that up though!!

As for the infant resuscitation thing. On the First aid course I did (admittedly not a child / baby specific one) the same question was asked. The answer given was that you need to compress the chest cavity to compress the heart to push blood around, that's the purpose. If done right you should sense that oxygenated blood is going round; if wrong baby will go grey pretty quick. And of course, if facing a death through hypoxia vs a rib / chest injury, push hard enough to prevent the first and sweat the second afterwards!

What possible purpose will these monitors serve? Are your children at risk? Have they stopped breathing in the past?

I think you really need to have a good think about this – I know you were trying for children for a long time but they are very resilient creatures and I think you are in danger of being to "precious" about them and creating a millstone for yourself.

m_f- chest compressions on some adults requires serious force (rib-cracking isn't unheard of). The same force on a small child or infant would crush their ribcage and severely damage internal organs.

Go tell Harrogate SCBU – I am just saying what we were told four months ago.

And I say again, I am asking for advice on the kit, not on whether or not we should use the kit – I am not at all convinced we actually need it, but my wife is St John's Ambulance trained and also went to the CPR presentation at SCBU so she is reasonably confident she could administer emergency CPR. And if she wants the REASSURANCE of having a monitor then I am all for it – for her peace of mind rather than to actually (realistically) ever having to be needed.

We have the Tommee Tippie one given above by Barry. Works pretty well and is amazingly sensitive. Be warned though, you'll have nights when it goes off every 30 minutes and you become a quivering wreck! Oh, and if anything else sounds similar it has the same effect when your heart stops … my Missus' watch hourly chime is the same sound and still gives me a heart attack and we haven't used ours for nearly a year (nearly two now)!

🙂

My daughter arrested aged about 6 months. Luckily my wife had recently finished a 3 year course in paediatric nursing and was able to resuscitate her! When she showed me how to do the compressions she used 3 fingers, not the whole hand…

and I think you are in danger of being to "precious" about them and creating a millstone for yourself.

Perhaps my wife is. I am a realist. But a realist that lives with an anxious wife whom I want to be able to reassure as best I can.

St John's Ambulance trained? Keep her away from medical emergencies then! 😉

Unless there is a history for your kids I would do everything to talk her round to not doing it. Peace of mind works both ways.

For once I'm with TJ!

Anyhoo, I did read your question, sorry I haven't answered it because I have no experience. I also found it bizarre so IGMC.

mastilles how do they work?? Is it sound activated, HRM activiated? I do know where youre coming from would speak to your wife regarding the reliability of them and how it could have her running up and down the stairs every ten minutes – normal monitors do this anyway! Due to our cats loving warm spaces to sleep in my son was in his own room (with a closed door) from day one, with a normal monitor to listen in, but saying that when he managed to roll over for the first time my other half spent the night in his room holding his arm, despite having a pur flo mattress (impossible to suffocate with one!)

I don't thin the monitors will reassure her – I think they will increase anxiety due to the continual false alarms you get from them. answering the wrong question IMO

mastilles how do they work?? Is it sound activated, HRM activiated?

I have no idea! I am simply asking for anyone's best recommendation and the Tommy Tippee one seems to be the one getting the (few) recommendations.

I don't thin the monitors will reassure her – I think they will increase anxiety due to the continual false alarms you get from them. answering the wrong question IMO

Perhaps they will, perhaps they won't. Do I just tell my wife the MTFU and stop being so neurotic? Or should I be a supportive and understanding partner doing my best to ensure I make her feel as reassured as possible.

I should have known better than to ask this question on here 🙁

MF – how about a third way? Show her stats on infant mortality and discuss her unreasonable fears to put them in a reasonable light? You cannot reassure her on this – the goalposts will constantly move as it is clearly an irrational ( if understandable) anxiety.

All I can say is make sure it's loud or you won't hear it if you're prperly asleep. If I was as worried as your wife I think the best device is your own ears and keep the kids in the same room so given what you're asking I'd say ditch the electronics and maintain the status quo.

And now for the advice you don't want (but you posted a potentially controversial topic on an open forum so live with it), get a grip, both ours were in their own cot in their own room from coming home from hospital. We used a normal baby monitor when they were very young and we were downstairs, upstairs with the bedroom doors open we were able to hear anything significant.

I also think some of the advice above is very pertinent, unless you know exactly how you're going to respond I think they are a dangerous waste of money. You need to learn to go with the flow more, for your sakes and the kids.

If I sound a bit off it's because my youngest has just come out of hospital this morning after being admitted on Sunday with a serious post surgery infection complicated by an existing condition. Don't wish ill health on them, take each day as it comes, they're too precious to waste, if your own kids get ill enough to need hospital treatment (and I sincerely hope they don't) maybe it will put this debate into context for you. If they have some underlying condition you haven't mentionned fair enough maybe they have some worth but if your kids are healthy be tahnkful for it.

ok a quick look around would seem to say that theyre a pad under the mattress that detects movement – wont work with some matresses (mine partcularly) and if the baby doesnt move for ten minutes youre not going to be getting any sleep…

I did see some with a little hrm that attaches to their nappy too – could be painful if they rolled onto it…

I don't thin the monitors will reassure her – I think they will increase anxiety due to the continual false alarms you get from them. answering the wrong question IMO

Utter bollocks – we have not had one false alarm from ours. And yes it does work, I've experimented!

Our 4.5 month old went into her own room after 2 weeks, we use one of these monitors – she's at the stage where she's just starting to roll over – but often ends up face down and can't move when she does – i'd rather know if she did suffocate than find out in the morning. Anything wrong with that?!

Sounds like the perfect solution would be to get a monitor and remove the batteries without telling the missus.

myfatherwasawolf – get one of these that was exactly why we bought ours..

http://www.purflo.com/acatalog/PurFlo_Cot_Mattress.html

We had one because junior 1 was 2 months early. We had false alarms less than 10 times and we used it for junior 2.
If if makes mrs mf happy, go for it. I'm not sure I'd use one if we had another, but neither mrs j, me or the sprogs appear to be psychologically scarred as a result.

BUT if you do, make sure you get spares for travelling etc., because once you start to use them, you won't want them yo sleep without them until they are about 1 and you will forget to take them with you on holiday. Not that I'm bitter about wandering round Italian supermarkets at 7pm on a Saturday night looking for a replacement or owt 🙂

Of course I could just reason with my wife and convince her not to get one. Imagine what would happen to my life if the worst was to then happen.

but what would happen if they stopped breathing whilst not in the cot (ie pram, car seat etc…) and you didnt notice?

or even if he was on his three wheeled trike and tried to ride down the back steps (approx 1 1/2 feet!!) and landed on his face… (no bruising I was impressed, but he was wearing a helmet!)

its almost bizarre how quickly you go from totally wrapped in cotton wool to 'yeah but thats what kids do'… I used to wind the other half up by commenting that she couldnt be using enough cotton wool as I could see his nose…

Hi Guys not sure if this is allowed as I am essentially hijacking hubby's username, but he left it on the computer so have decided it's fair game!
We got one of those Tommee Tippee Suresound ones with the pad that goes under the mattress in case they stop breathing.
I've got to be honest and say we used it for about a week when our baby went into his own room at 3 months but it kept going off when I'd get him out to feed him and freaking us all out!
I don't remember it going off for no reason, but then we didn't use it for long so probably not good test. Had friends who used them and were pleased with them. For peace of mind they're worth it. We got ours cheaper at TK Maxx- worth a look. Good luck!

We had one (mat undere the matress job), used it for all 3 of our children and lent it out to a couple of friends inbetween babies. Never ever went off by mistake. Altough it did shit you up in the night when one of you got them up to feed and forgot to switch it off, woke the other one pretty quick.

Worked for us and I would say if you are worried, get one. If the worst thing to worry about is false alarms, whats the problem.

but what would happen if they stopped breathing whilst not in the cot (ie pram, car seat etc…) and you didnt notice?

Then there is little we could do – we are considering ways of managing and reducing risk, not eliminating it. And seeing as the cot is where they spend at least half their day every day, it seems sensible to monitor it if possible.

Mrs BillOddie – yeah, Mrs M-F saw some there a few weeks ago but they have been sold.

We borrowed one and found it useful but not sure we will use straight away again when our next one arrives in January. We used it in the moses basket to start with and kept forgetting to turn it off each time we picked our daughter up which would then wake up which everone of us was trying to catch up on some sleep!

If your wife's that nervous why is she putting them in their own room?

Four months is much earlier than most parents of premature babies do so.

We used one with our prem baby for a year or so till the couple who lent it needed it back.

worked fine – very few false alarms usually caused by us when we took her out of the cot.

Whether you want one is all up to you.

My logical mind told me we didn't need one and that there would be little we'd be able to do in any case. I was wrong because I was only thinking about the child and not me or particularly my wife. The reassurance meant that we could actually relax, which I"m sure had a direct impact on the child. Dawn thought giving it up would be a problem, but it wasn't becuase we'd got used to not worrying.

If your wife's that nervous why is she putting them in their own room?

Four months is much earlier than most parents of premature babies do so.
Because she wants to ensure they do not get used to being in with us and needs to start recovering her own sleep patterns. And they weren't premature – they were in SCBU because of low blood sugars but were born at 37 weeks which is classed full term for twins. 🙂