I think you need to MTFU and get out there.

lol, can I finish my divorce first please if that’s ok? may screw my little boys brain up otherwise 😀

If love ever bothered to come looking for me…..I’d be out riding.
Don’t really see the point meself.I’m perfectly capable of making myself miserable without a womans help.

Houns live your life ffs. Do what you want. If it ever happens it happens. Im sick of social convention ‘must get married’, must have a sibling’, etc etc.

Relax.

I don’t think you get to choose on the sibling thing, Hora…

Rachel

OMG I agree with Hora…Kill me now….there is no hope!

I don’t think you get to choose on the sibling thing, Hora…

😀

Allthegear mrshora partly wanted a child because it seemed all her friends were… now everyone is having a second and ‘he will be lonely in life without a sibling’.

Sounds grumpy/harsh but why the social pressure bollocks. We all get one shot at life. Why the pressure to conform, to follow a conveyor belt, a conformist critical path?

Btw allthegear- I hope your tickle tackle all works good? 🙂

Pathetic.
I flipped on to this forum to help pass the time with thoughts of riding.

You’re wasting your time and more importantly mine.
Grow a pair and get out there.

Interesting way of putting it, Hora!! LOL

From walking round Liverpool today, a lot of the male female couples seemed to be haveing either tantrums,toys out of prams moments,or being all lovey dovey for a very small proportion.

Where as there where quite a few paired males, having a laugh, chating, drinking,being freindly and in a few cases being a bit gay.

The second option may well be the way to go, and if you dont fancy hairy men, find a roadie they usually shave their legs, you can talk about football, go drinking, theres no problem with unwanted preganancies, and most important they can help you fix your bike, and dont moan about a bike in the kitchen.And soon you can even get married.

find a roadie they usually shave their legs,

Are you equating men who shave their legs with being gay, project?

I don’t consider being called gay an insult, but the way you use it is a very useful idiot detector. Maybe you’d like to crawl back to the 1950’s before someone takes offence?

To be fair, I think he’s saying people who shave their legs are not hairy. That’s all.

Some of them may be gay.

Rachel

For starters buy a mans car,get rid of the moggies get a dog then come up to Kendal for a night out!

Rocketdog he makes damn fine chocs but cannot ride his bike without hitting street furniture!

I’m enjoying this discussion.

But that’s because I’m 46 and my marriage of 20+ years has fallen apart over the last three years.

She says it’s because I spend to much time doing my own stuff and don’t share my life with her – I can’t help but feel there’s a good reason for that!

I’d agree with so many other voices here. Stop looking, get happy and see what happens 😆

…that’s what I plan to do eventually.

When a mate at work was between wives (married + kid -> affair with mad lady -> another kid) he actually told me he was jealous of me being a gayer because (his words) “You can have a good shag then talk about football and eat pizza afterwards”.

Saying that I have a gay friend who is constantly looking for “the one” which will never happen as no-one is ever perfect. Very sad.

I found MrAdamW after I stopped looking and just went out and about just to have a laugh. About a week after I stopped, as it happens.

Just live your life. I understand that ladies are very attracted to men who make them laugh and who are confident without the alpha-male bollox stuff. Make a fool of yourself and laugh a lot. You’ll end up beating the ladies away with a big pooey stick. 😀

EDIT: Somafunk want to marry me too?

Exactly what Adam said, but as an added extra be Cool Hand Luke.

The minute you stop looking for that one person, the minute you stop going out of your way to impress the opposite sex and the minute you appear not to give a **** is hilariously the moment when you can’t beat people away from you fast enough.

Even if you aren’t brilliantly attractive, having some real confidence about who you are, self esteem in what you’ve achieved, are at peace with yourself and are internally driven instead of being driven by how people around you perceive you….then you’ll do fine.

There’s a reason many women find older successful males who don’t say very much, attractive.

At 40 and having had a girlfriend-free life for the last 10 years, loads of my friends are pushing me to not be single.
The main difference between me and them is there’s loads of stuff I love doing: riding, running, mountaineering which I need time and money to do.
I’d love to be in a good relationship but there’s loads and loads of benefits to being single that I don’t want to lose. Namely doing those things I love as often as I want and take the very best of any opportunity to do any fun stuff that comes along.
I’m fitter now than I’ve ever been- training 6 days a week, in part because I can
If I find a girl who wants to do all this stuff with me, awesome, but there are few really active girls IME

I spent the first half of my 20’s wasting my life cos I was in a crap relationship with a miserable girl. I learnt my lesson there…

Plus I’m always in good company 🙂

http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/pictures-that-will-make-you-believe-in-true-love

IT’S A **** TRAP… RUN AWAY!!!

Rocketdog he makes damn fine chocs but cannot ride his bike without hitting street furniture!

There’s now’t wrong wi abusing street furniture, it enables my dentist to continue to waste £100k on Range Rovers to transport his fat arsed wife everywhere, and hitting the pavement with your face at 20mph+ is a fantastic ruse to get free nose jobs.

Admittingly i do make exceedingly good chocs though……

😉

Stop looking for the “perfect one”

I found two; one left me, and I, stupidly, left the other. For, what seemed like good reasons at the time, albeit reasons that weren’t clearly defined in my head, but if I’d had the sense to go back and talk to her, it would have been salvaged.
But I didn’t. Only found that out a year or so later. Bugger. 😐
Dumbest thing I’ve ever done. The other one? She’s still a good friend, haven’t seen her for ten years, only spoke on the phone a couple of days ago, picked up where we left off the last time we spoke, about a year ago.
Married, sadly, but there you go. Beautiful girls, both of them. C’est la vie.

should have called this thread….FAO all 14yr olds…………….

Normal people don’t fall in love. They just tolerate each other. I’m normal, tolerating marriage, and in love with Charlize Theron. It’s a living hell.

Once again, in typical STW fashion, those with a complete lack of self-awareness see fit to post unkind comments.

It’s sad to see someone at a low ebb and who’s shown courage in posting on this minefield of a subject.

I don’t have anything really to add except as a starting point you need to work on your self-confidence, like yourself and be comfortable with your personality and its associated traits.

You state that ‘your standards are high’ which is all well and good but sometimes it’s hard to see the word for the trees. First impressions aren’t always correct so perhaps you need to open your eyes and perhaps be less judgemental? Don’t judge a book by its cover as it were.

I wish you well. 🙂

Before I met MrsBouy I was very single, in that I mean I really couldn’t give a **** about meeting a partner. I’d been single for 7 years previous to MrsBouy, by choice, having split with my ex of 12 years. I’d come to the realisation that sticking in a relationship that was giving each of us no happiness (towards the end) was just wasting both our lives.
So, so I ended it. It was difficult. However, once done I felt empowered, no not to go out and shag anything that came along, I’m far away from that mentality in fact chose to be both single and celibate. Sounds a bit introspective now to think that I needed something higher to believe in but it felt right to me so I chose to believe in myself and enjoy what life and living gave, or have the opportunity to experience. I chose to sail a lot, ride places I’d never been, kite surfed, windsurfed, worked bloody hard, see some spectacular places and met some fabulous people. In essence I just got out there and enjoyed myself, and revelled in it too, life came to me it seemed, I really made no effort as opportunities came my way….
I met MrsBouy via a cross word/argument with an acquaintance at my sailing club who was being a bitch, i thought at the time she was being rather obnoxious for some reason. Turns out she went on to introduce me to a couple of her friends, no idea why, then MrsBouy popped up one day and she took me by the arm and we fell in love, no she really did take my by the arm…

I still to this day have no idea how it happened 😆

Take the time to rekindle the You, find out what makes you happy and smile and do that a lot, I mean really do it a helluva lot.

Best of luck.

… and dont moan about a bike in the kitchen …

What kind of crazy person keeps their bikes in the kitchen?? That’s where the treadmill lives, bikes live in the living room

Does anyone really have an idea of what “The One” should be like, ok some people may have preference to blondes, Redhead or brunette others may prefer sporty types for instance. Yet how often is the person you meet the polar opposite if what you first imagined to be your type. Perhaps we compartmentalise people to much and hence put up boundaries were not even aware off.

As others have said. Don’t look, just get out and enjoy yourself. Do all the things you can’t do if you had a partner and once you’ve reached that point of balance, happiness and freedom in your own life, I guarantee you someone will come along and take it all from you 🙂

Seriously though, it will never be where you think it will.

I met Mrs File when she was checking me into a nice hotel after a miserable day at work.

Morning

Just woke up after very little sleep after my night shift so shall just add some points. I’ll try and construct something better later

Kids?! Don’t go down that route, but no!
Meeting girls/ being confident around them not a problem
Women being interested in me (without sounding big headed ) there are plenty
Humping around.. Can be done easily, not what I’m looking for
Enjoying doing my own thing? Enjoyed it and had enough of doing everything on my own
Self confident? Yes, disheartened? Yes!

Erm I think that’s it, need to sleepzzzzzzzzzzzz

After my ex-mrs left for someone else and I (foolishly) rushed into another relationship which inevitably went horribly wrong, I kept trying but women just avoided me (this inlcuded driving 400 miles fir a blind date!), i remember clearly suddenly arriving at where you are one evening and just giving up on the whole thing.

I have no idea how it happened but I met the wonderful mrs o within a couple if weeks at gate 9 of Rome airport. And at long last it was just right.

Whereabouts are you, houns?

I haven’t read all the above because I cant be arsed but,

C’mon Houns pick yourself up, I think you are aware of my situation, the love of my life (together 14 years) left me last year and I was devastated, but a year on (to the day in fact) I’m with someone new who I love and adore.

I’m 45 you are 35 you have plenty of time just chill, it will happen.

Thing is, all I’ve ever wanted in life is to be in love and get married. Job, money, possessions don’t really bother me, just wanted to meet the ‘one’

That’s the opposite of me but I was in the same boat about 12 years ago. I completely stopped trying to even bother chatting to any women, just couldn’t be bothered. I now have a 4yo with the barmaid from my local 😕
Strangely, that’s the exact same circumstance that caused me to be on this earth! 😐

Just woke up after very little sleep after my night shift…

Speaking both from personal experience and from several courses, there is a definite link between shift work and mental health issues, with night shifts being the worst. Those of us that have mental health issues can be tempted to ‘hide away’ on nights, which in itself isn’t conducive to good metal health.

Is your mental health all it could be?

Just to say thank you to all the posters who have shared their experiences on this thread 🙂 I am just working my way through a rough time, and reading some of these posts have really helped to sort my mind out.

Get out there, ride my bike, walk my dogs, take every opportunity that comes my way and try not to look back.

You will be aright flowerpower believe you me, a year ago to this very minute my whole world just fell apart around me, today well, I’m pretty damn happy.

Its a well worn platitude, but time really does heal.

crikey – Member

find a roadie they usually shave their legs,

Are you equating men who shave their legs with being gay, project?

I don’t consider being called gay an insult, but the way you use it is a very useful idiot detector. Maybe you’d like to crawl back to the 1950’s before someone takes offence?

Obviously someone has had a humour bypass then, possibly only you has taken a fence, and in no way was it meant to cause offence to gay people being called roadies.

[/quote]Anyone just given up on finding love?

just Ship sailed looooooooong time ago…

If I find a girl who wants to do all this stuff with me, awesome, but there are few really active girls IME

As an active girl, I have found in the past that being active is a negative for a lot of guys. They want a girl who looks like a Barbie doll – most active outdoor type girls don’t, and shock horror, we have muscle definition. I’ve had negative comments, totally unsolicited, from men, about the way my body looks as a female cyclist and triathlete, and even Mr Panda was not over thrilled with the changes in my body shape when I started to train for events. However, he has seen the difference it makes to my confidence and happiness being fit and healthy and having fun doing events, so he’s kind of accepted that a bit extra muscle tone really isn’t a deal breaker.