This could definitely be up for weirdest story of the year!

https://www.indy100.com/news/bomb-disposal-shell-gloucester-hospital-wwii-b1969263

Well, that would have wrecked ‘um.

Man who had a WWII shell removed from his rectum identified as Mark Francois

I was fully expecting it to be not that weird, and to post “disappointed by this, I’d assumed it was up someone’s bum”. But you have exceeded all my expectations.

“Slipped and fell”…..

“Slipped and fell”…..

My wife is a Dr and you’d be surprised how common it is to “slip and fall” directly onto some random object that’s is by pure fluke, lined up perfectly with your ring piece. Perfectly aligned, as not as most of these “accidents” don’t result any damage when the item accidentally slips in.
I’m no expert but. If I fell out my bath across the bathroom and landed in the toilet brush (that is next to the very hard and immovable toilet) and landed on said brush. I’d expect to have a few bruises???

Yeah, weird one indeed, some poor lad in 11 EOD is washing their eyes out as we speak!

I wonder if it was deployed in the Battle of Arras?

He didn’t like it up ‘im 😁

Mate who used to be a psychiatric social worker always refused a tea in one household. He knew where the teaspoon had been.

Weapon of ass destruction.

(pinched from a commenter on APILN)

My mother in law was a nurse at RAF Odiam. Similar “accidents” happened quite frequently including a bloke who got a plastic coke bottle stuck – it formed a perfect seal and could only be removed when a small hole had been drilled to relieve the pressure.

Guess his pants and trousers just happened to slip and fall moments before too?

could only be removed when a small hole had been drilled to relieve the pressure

Imagine bending over and knowing someone’s poking a Black & Decker where the sun don’t shine.

Based on the frequency of ‘slipping and falling’, I am sure that Abraham Wald would have something to say about where we might need protection from said objects.

 Abraham Wald would have something to say

The famous illustration of hits on the aircraft was not the main part of his report and indeed is misleading as it’s based on aircraft that returned rather than those that were shot down.

In this context we’re missing all the people who successfully remove whatever they’ve “fallen on”.

I wonder if it was deployed in the Battle of Arras?

Asschendaele, shurely?

(probably the wrong war, but I don’t care.)

It was just a piece of military memoribilia being returned to its arsenal.

I thought the best quote was from the actual article

The patient has since been discharged

you’d be surprised how common it is to “slip and fall” directly onto some random object that’s is by pure fluke, lined up perfectly with your ring piece.

Since in this case the unfortunate man was unable to retrieve the object himself it has to be assumed that it went up his arse in its entirety.

At 17cm long I can only assume that it was well lubricated and not dry. Presumably he must have done something like accidentally knock over a bottle of olive oil, which happened to be nearby, before the unexpected anal intrusion.

So unlucky. And to think I sometimes complain “what’s the chances of that happening?” when events appear to conspire against me.

I was fully expecting it to be not that weird, and to post “disappointed by this, I’d assumed it was up someone’s bum”. But you have exceeded all my expectations.

Thank christ it’s not just me.

ernielynch
Free Member

At 17cm long I can only assume that it was well lubricated and not dry.

Well, brass has self lubricating properties

“Girthy”

“Discharged from hospital”

Some journo has been earning his keep today

I feel a little worried that I don’t understand the attraction of shoving large items up my arse though.

I normally insert things at the other end to suffer explosive diahhrea!

I feel a little worried that I don’t understand the attraction of shoving large items up my arse though.

I think some philosopher professor said something along the lines of, “The enemy of freedom is not intolerance, it is incomprenension.” Personally, and I don’t want to sound like a bigot, I cannot comprehend why anyone derives pleasure from inserting anything larger than a finger up their bums. It’s just not natural.

It’s just not natural.

Well… If you’re a regular every three days, like me, you too will have done larger number 2’s. So I’m not surprised it would fit.

What’s the frequency of slipping and falling onto toothpaste pumps? Dangerous places, bathrooms. Wet floors too. And 99x more likely to slip and fall if male.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17563678/

These might make your eyes water a bit!
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20224259/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31579741/

‘No, no I would absolutely not like to pull your finger.’

I cannot comprehend why anyone derives pleasure from inserting anything larger than a finger up their bums. It’s just not natural.

My mate’s a 6’8″ farmer with hands like shovels, hardened by 40 years of manual work. I think I’d rather have an artillery shell …..

I’ll just leave this here

Maybe they were hoping for a blow job?

What, like the back of a Volkswagen?

There’s a few beautifully subtle lines in that article. My favourite:

A source told the newspaper that the patient found the shell as he was doing a clear out.

I cannot comprehend why anyone derives pleasure from inserting anything larger than a finger up their bums. It’s just not natural.

Over dinner last week, my father in law regaled me with the tale of his prostate being checked. Firstly by an attractive 30-something female doc, then a 50-something male consultant. His description was markedly different for each experience, and I was quite glad I wasn’t having sausages for the meal.

Suicide bummer??

I cannot comprehend why anyone derives pleasure from inserting anything larger than a finger up their bums. It’s just not natural.

I’d suggest you stay away from the internet, then. Or be very careful what you search for…

Actually, just make sure ‘safe search’ is turned on.

“Slipped and fell”…..

To be fair, we’ve all done it.

I’d suggest you stay away from the internet, then. Or be very careful what you search for…

Actually, just make sure ‘safe search’ is turned on.

When the Trainspotting spin-off Filth came out as a movie, I did a BitTorrent search for it. I was expecting some “interesting” search results, but nothing like the torrent of filth that came up. I gave up the search and never watched the movie, I just could not bear to scroll through all those pages of nasty porn results.