Worrying about everything

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  • Worrying about everything
  • philxx1975
    Member

    Anyone else constantly worrying about lots of things, not jobs or money don’t need one have enough to be fine, but just “what if”.

    Sometimes I worry to the point of being overwhelmed.

    You should read…..

    **** it – The Ultimate Spiritual Way by John C. Parkin

    It’s not a bad philosophy by which to live your life.

    patriotpro
    Member

    Have you tried/heard of Solfeggio Frequencies?

    nickhit3
    Member

    Have you tried/heard of bongs?

    sbob
    Member

    Have you tried/heard of bongs?

    Now the username makes sense.

    core
    Member

    Yep, pretty much worry about something all the time, overthinking and agonising about insignificant things, getting mildly anxious about trivial stuff/situations sometimes.

    I’ve got better since I made some major life changes (partner and thus house, lifestyle) and decluttered my life a bit in terms of possesions, hobbies, long term ambition/expectations.

    Exercise really helps me, walking, running, biking, generally being active, gives me decent thinking time, and allows me to switch off, no distractions or crap. Proper down time is my enemy generally.

    I think you have to teach yourself to prioritise what’s important and not to sweat the small stuff.

    nickhit3
    Member
    yoshimi
    Member

    Yes – but I have no answers, wish I did!

    patriotpro
    Member

    billabongs?

    jekkyl
    Member

    Cycle more and drink more.

    biggedy biggedy bong?

    stumpy01
    Member

    Not sure about worried, but perhaps stressed is a better word in my case.

    It mainly comes down to time, or lack of.

    This needs doing, that needs doing, still not got round to x, y, z on my list, haven’t visited so & so for months, when am I gonna find time to ride my bike, bloody hell that’s just packed up so needs sorting out, am I spending enough time with my daughter/wife….

    Seems to be my default thought process at the moment. I have a few days where I make some progress & relax, but then it slowly builds up again as I feel like I need to get on with stuff.

    Premier Icon spawnofyorkshire
    Subscriber

    Go seek a bit of counselling. I got to the point where my worrying/anxiety started causing me some pretty hefty depression.

    Going and speaking to a professional really helped me to identify my trigger points and gave me some mechanisms to deal them so they didn’t overwhelm me.

    She was able to help me with the mechanics of why my head was being such a dick to me when there was no reason for it to be doing so. I’m not cured, but i’m in a much better place than i was

    If money isn’t a problem go private so you don’t have to fight through the NHS system which is severely underfunded and under-resourced. Shop around for a Councillor/therapist who you like as well.

    nickhit3
    Member

    apologies for my flippant remarks to the OP, the chronic is NOT the solution. Ironically back in the day, it contributed to 2 years of panic attacks for me but that’s another story.

    I echo the sentiments of others regarding counselling- i am a worrier, and always have been, but the only thing that i have found that helps is talking about It. Don’t isolate yourself, you’re not alone. Not by a long way. Professional help is valuable.

    Premier Icon deadkenny
    Subscriber

    Yep, pretty much worry about something all the time, overthinking and agonising about insignificant things, getting mildly anxious about trivial stuff/situations sometimes.

    Trivial things all the time. My house could burn down and I’d just shrug and be all “oh well, shit happens”, but get really stressed about the naming of a variable in my software development work or the choice of this or that bike component/tool. Lack of confidence in my own choices probably, and yet something that happens without my control is not really a worry. Probably explains my inabilities to just go for it on the bike (jump, drop, gap etc) as my mind is questioning the decision I may be about to make, rather than just “what the hell”. With proof that the choice is right (do the jump and it’s fine) then I’m happy, but I have to repeat the process for the next one even if it’s technically identical.

    I’m guilty of much increased anxiety and indecision when I’m tired, which has been an awful lot recently. Which is quite odd for June, this is more like the normal me Dec-Feb.

    If I’m not worrying about traffic in surburbia on the way out and/or return, I’m undecided on where to go or worrying about the weather, which has massively reduced my riding recently after a really good May.

    But at least I got out this morning, albeit my traffic anxiety was rising when I hadn’t set off by 0715.

    i was very anxious until i stopped drinking, it made a massive difference.

    DT78
    Member

    in on a 6 session ‘managing your worries’ course via my GP.  only on session 2 but quite useful.  started my ‘worry diary’ today and wrote down 13 immediate here and now things I’m worrying about.

    they ask you to define then as practical and hypothetical and use a ‘worry tree to decide what to do.  a bit simplistic a model as it doesn’ take into account risk which I think is a big thing…maybe later session cover that

    also covers relaxation techniques.

    I’m a bit unusual, im aware part of my brain is off worrying but the rest of me is ignoring it and getting on with stuff as I simply don’ have the time.  problem is the worrying part of the mind has started causing physical problems. Main ones being difficulty breathing and choking in my sleep thinking I’m dying.  apparently a night time panic attack….**** horrible

    so go see your GP as ignoring it doesn’ work

    doggycam
    Member

    I got this advice from my GP. Seemed a bit pointless at first, but surprised me that it actually helped,,,,,,,,,,,a lot.

    Make a list of all your worries. Doesn’t matter how long it takes, go back to it and add stuff.

    When you think you are done, go through the list and cross out all the things you cannot change or do anything about.

    What you are left with are the things you have to action and are worth “worrying” about.

    My list was approx 15 things. After this exercise there was 3

    Premier Icon deadkenny
    Subscriber

    i was very anxious until i stopped drinking, it made a massive difference.

    It’s definitely part of it. I worry my life will be boring without booze though 😀

    Though seriously, it’s on the bad list for anxiety, sadly.

    Premier Icon highpeakrider
    Subscriber

    Something I picked up from a program called Thrive, it’s not easy to keep it up but it does seem to work.

    With most worries and thoughts you feel them or are aware, at the point you come aware actively think of something else. In effect you cut the thought off, over and over. You should find they go away because you never give them power to grow.

    slackalice
    Member

    I see what you did there PP! 😉 So far, so good…

    OP, the good news is that it sounds like you’ve reached that point of being completely fed up with anxiety and the ‘what if’s’ and you’re now starting to look for your way out. Sweet 😃

    There are lots of ways, or paths that lead us from our insanity and sense of dis-ease. We each find our own, for those who choose to seek an alternative way of dealing with life. None of them are right or wrong, although you’d be forgiven to think otherwise in our post modernist society, except there will be a right one for you, it’s a case of finding it, bit like kissing frogs.

    If that’s your thing?

    Tenacity and perseverance are two very good words 😉

    Good luck and enjoy the process. 😃

    handybar
    Member

    I’ve always been a worrier, and since my 30s it has started to get out of control. I’ve tried CBT and counselling – both of which have helped – but it is important to keep at it. I’m now trying mindfulness in addition.

    jonba
    Member

    https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/generalised-anxiety-disorder/

    Lots of people worry. It can be normal/healthy but it can also get out of control.

    Lots of ways to combat it. The mind webiste has some good info

    https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/anxiety-disorders/#.WyEHRWaotQs

    What works can be different for people. It depends on whether these are hypothetical worries of real worries. It also depends on how you react, some people try to take control of the situation (good for real, bad for hypothetical) while others hide (bad for real, good for hypothetical).

    If it is genuinely over whelming then ask for help (GP, work occupational health/private cover). It isn’t easy, but you’re not uniquely afflicted by this and there is help available. Things like CBT and ACT can realy help.

    globalti
    Member

    Nice to know I’m not the only irrational obsessive worrier!

    As I get older though I do seem to be getting better at moving on and keeping stuff in perspective. A certain amount of stress and worry is good and needs to be used in a positive way.

    johndoh
    Member

    I worry that you still find things to worry about given that one of the biggest worries many of us have isn’t a worry for you.

    philxx1975
    Member

    I worry that you still find things to worry about given that one of the biggest worries many of us have isn’t a worry for you.

    “many of us” being you then, well done for being the first dick of the thread.

    Premier Icon Kryton57
    Subscriber

    I can recommended CBT.  Its helped stop me doing this, and has given me the tools to keep managing it.  Practice makes perfect.

    Premier Icon spawnofyorkshire
    Subscriber

    My therapist used the transactional analysis model which resonated to me because a lot of my worries were irrational, i knew the answer or i knew there wasn’t a problem, but my stupid brain kept making them into bigger and bigger problems.

    Now i know the tell-tales* and trigger points i can tell my brain shut the f*** up and be rational before i start spiraling. It made a massive difference.

    *In my case i hold my breath and my heart rate slows when i start getting anxious

    johndoh
    Member

    “many of us” being you then, well done for being the first dick of the thread.

    A bit harsh when you open with a line like you did – not sure why you felt like you had to tell people you don’t have to worry about money when, as I said, it is probably the most consuming worry for the vast majority of us. You know, like real ‘wake up in the middle of the night wondering how to pay for the next mortgage repayment’ kind of worry.

    Premier Icon Kryton57
    Subscriber

    My therapist used the transactional analysis model which resonated to me because a lot of my worries were irrational, i knew the answer or i knew there wasn’t a problem, but my stupid brain kept making them into bigger and bigger problems.

    Now i know the tell-tales* and trigger points i can tell my brain shut the f*** up and be rational before i start spiraling. It made a massive difference.

    +1    Mine calls it a “safety behaviour” which actually is contradictory.  Vis a Vis, when I approach a motorway bridge, I move my right arm to lean on the drivers door window ledge in an apparent act of relaxation whereas actually its an activity which reinforces my anxiety.   I can now tell myself, “its makes no difference whether I lean on that with my elbow, or it doesn’t.  I’m a good driver, I equally safe otherwise”.  As he says, it stops the spiral.   Stopping the spiral is the key.

    philxx1975
    Member

    thread.

    A bit harsh when you open with a line like you did – not sure why you felt like you had to tell people you don’t have to worry about money when, as I said, it is probably the most consuming worry for the vast majority of us. You know, like real ‘wake up in the middle of the night wondering how to pay for the next mortgage repayment’ kind of worry.

    Indeed I read it wrong and I apologise for my response to that , my mention of money was exactly what you wrote and that I don’t have that on my mind, as its one of the major worries indeed I figured best get that removed from the thought Process

    <span style=”font-size: 0.8rem;”>I still sit and over analyse, despite the big ones not being a problem as you rightly pointed out thsome have bigger problems money being one. </span>

    <span style=”font-size: 0.8rem;”>Hence my lack of understanding of how a relatively carefree life has come to be a worrisome one. </span>

    <span style=”font-size: 0.8rem;”> I will admit to being the first dick of the thread. </span>

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