I’m sure its been posted before but I’m finding the loneliness and lack of social contact of working from home really troubling at the minute. It’s been a year now and there’s no real end in sight with talk of this becoming the standard way of working. Its troubling me so much now I’m considering a change of jobs. Anyone else feeling this way.

Nah, I’m all good. I enjoy WFH.

I’d like the option to go into the office if I wanted to.

I don’t really want to though.

So i’ll probably stay at home.

I’ve got 3 hours a day spare now I don’t have to commute. That’s 3 hours playing on the bike!

Well you areent really alone, not really given this is a post where you are talking to real people(real being a subjective word 😆 ) And it’s not like you are alone on a deserted island, as you will interact with people outside your home, shopping and the like.

But if you are concerned that it is affecting your mental outlook on life, there will be counseling groups you might be better talking to, at least to share your thoughts on the matter, they being a better form of communication than a forum, having more subjective experience.

Not lonely at all but find it very hard to get anything done (he says on a bike forum at 2pm on a Thursday…)
Motivation is very low and distractions are legion

I’m with the OP – get up, shower, work, eat, watch telly, bed, repeat. It is doing my head in and it is going to get worse next week when my wife and kids go back to school / work and I am sat in an empty house all day every day.

I enjoy WFH. But start by remembering that those things aren’t pandemic specific @airvent – they apply to WFH normally as well, but they are exacerbated right now. It’s a skill, you need to take steps to manage the risks. Those of us who WFH normally had a headstart here. But the basics are: get out of the house routinely, step away from the work periodically, keep work in its place, and (more pandemic specific) find ways to maintain the social contact (esp the work related side of it) that’s imperilled and replace the contact you can’t maintain to keep your sanity. Easier said than done.

I struggle with it from a professional and personal basis. I’m lucky in that I’m quite sociable with quite a few of my work colleagues. Don’t necessarily socialise outside of work but have a few giggles in the office which makes time fly and fun while you work etc. So miss that also I’m just not as productive. I now realise I rely alot on the informal network to just get a broader view and context of what’s going on in the business and that help inform me massively and makes me far more productive. I’m missing out on all that sat at home. Also I struggle getting into a routine at home. Sometimes I suddenly realise its been a few days since I’ve had a shower, my exercise regime has gone out of the window and I find myself sat at a desk not mobile for far longer than I did. On the plus side e’ve got a dog and that helps with the routine thing and forces me out a couple of times a day for a 30 min walk.

Think I’ll never work full time in an office again which might be good but will have to organise my week better and organisation is not a strong point of mine, but the flexibility will be good if I can organise myself better.

But I know of alot of friends and colleagues who are really struggling. just not good for alot of people and the fantasy of us all ditching the office and working from home is just a pipe dream. More people prefer and want that work/home separation.

Same as OP. A few of us are let into the office a couple of days and it helps to see other folk face to face.

I’m the opposite. Loneliness would be a blessed relief.
I’ve been cooped up with my family for a year and can’t wait till I get the chance for some sweet, sweet solitude.

There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who recharge themselves by being in the company of others and those who recharge by being alone.

The first kind can suck the life out of the second kind and never even realise

My niece is suffering a lot with this. She works in child services for a council and has barely stepped into the office since last March. She lives alone in a 1 bed flat with a cat but her family (us) are over 150 miles away.

We try and keep in touch and offer support as much as we can, but it’s just not the same.

There has been several threads, yes.

I think it’s great, but not everyone is wired the same (weird) way as I am. I’d suggest two things:

1) Don’t forget to take breaks. Get your “daily exercise” by getting out of the front door at lunchtime even if it’s just for a walk round the block. A change of scenery and a lungful of (virus-free) outdoors air will do wonders.

2) Talk to people. Zoom, Teams, whatever. We have a minimum of three team meetings a week. Sometimes we discuss the hot work topics that have been plaguing us, sometimes we discuss my new kittens and how badly John needs guitar lessons.

It’s perfect if you’re a misanthrope but less than ideal if you like to interact with people.

If you’re in a town, take a walk at lunchtime and say hello to people. Find the dog walkers between 2 and 3 around ours and compliment their dog, then struggle to disengage. Older people outside are also good for a chat as some of them are also floundering in isolation.

WFH doesn’t have to be 9 to 5, though you do need to fit in with your household for later working on a split day.

I love it but I think that is for two reasons

1. I don’t really like people
2. I like hanging out with my dog

I totally understand why others find it tough though.

Same for me OP. I miss banter and general chit chat at work. Also harder to pick up on informal work stuff

Obviously made worse because I’m not seeing my friends for biking etc or going to the climbing wall which is pretty social.

I’m with the OP – get up, shower, work, eat, watch telly, bed, repeat.

Several of those are optional.

Nope – also not lonely at all, actively trying to reduce the number of Teams calls & phone calls I seem to have to go through each day. My work/life balance has improved significantly, exercise has increased & ride my bike a shed load more. At a director level I wouldn’t say I have ‘friends’ at work now anyway, so I have no need to socially interact with the teams (other than do the right thing of turning up at the odd night out, buying a few rounds & leaving so they can slag us all off) 😀

I’m used to WFH though, I would never apply for a job that forced me into an office 5 days a week now, the whole experience would turn me off an employer very quickly. Even the thought of what was a 30 minute commute each way. Solved it by moving miles away so the expectation is no longer there, and I have a progressive CEO as a manager.

There are certainly people struggling with it in our workplace though – literally pining to be back, I think it’s because they have just been conditioned to it being ‘normal’, not sure how they are going to cope as we have decided that there will never be full time office based staff again now. Maybe a blended mix will be enough for them.

Certainly an observation shared by the others in our SLT, but those who are the noisiest about being back in are the least productive when there – lots of chatting at other peoples desks & taking a considerable amount of time making coffee, collecting things from printers, etc. Since being remote their productivity has gone up considerably, yet their happiness has gone down.

Totally understandable really, I used to WFH 4 days a week anyway, but used to like going in to the office just to maintain contact/realtionships/change of scenery.

It didn’t bother me at all really, as most of my social life was outside work anyway, be that sports/pub etc.
But now, when the weather has been rubbish, and we cant see anyone anymore* the weeks just seem to be a dreary drag when I am just living to work.

Totally get lots of people worse off than I lucky to have a job etc, I could leave the house for a walk round the city streets, I could arrange to do so with one other person, but its just not appealing…

I told my boss that if I couldn’t start going back into the office 1 week in 3, there was a big chance I was going to get signed off for a considerable length of time. He made it so, and I started back in the office this week.

There is still only a skeleton staff in the office, so I still don’t see many people, but just having a normal working day starting and ending with a small commute really helps, I feel considerably happier.

I live alone so that hasn’t helped.

When it all ends I still hope I can work from home a couple of days a week, but I just can’t stand being alone all the time.

I’m typing this from the office now – first time I’ve been in since December 21st. It is nice to speak to people but because of the situation there aren’t many people here, rightly of course, to speak to.

I’m generally managing WFH by going out every day for a 30-35 minute ride at lunch time. Means I can get a ride in and have a shower after, before my lunch hour is up. I’ve also taken to getting up and starting work at 6 am once or twice a week, so that I can finish early.

Both of these actions are really helping me get through the days.

It’s got a lot worse for me since the gym/swimming pool has shut near my house. I try to go for a walkabout each day.
Been working from home for 6 years now and lately is not so good as weekends and weekdays are merging.

I love not commuting. Hoping for something in the middle to maintain relationships and face to face meetings.
But I’m lucky as I dont live alone, have things i like to go and do.

Living alone and wfh 100% of the time would be more difficult for me.

I can only suggest taking up more activities, cooking. Keep in touch with friends etc.
Hopefully once lockdown ends you can socialise more and reduce the burden of Wfh.

I feel totally the same Airvent. Luckily my job does mean I leave the kitchen table occasionally, but I’m still on my own when I do.

It worries me that my management are happy as pigs in smelly stuff WFH as it suits them and they don’t have us pesky staff hassling them so much. They keep saying we’ll not being going back as we were, remote working is ace etc and it winds me up. Other than the social side and liking the structure of getting up ad going to work, there are plenty of operational reasons why being in the office is more effective on the work front too for me and my job.

I moved to scotland leaving all my friends and changing to working from home at the beginning of 2019. I started getting friendly with some people through cycling and kayaking clubs during 2019, but not close enough to feel I can contact any of them individually just for a chat. This was the 4th move in about 10 years. I’m left with no close friends outside my family. I was never that friendly with my work colleagues, they aren’t the easiest to get along with at the best of times but an odd meetup with them once a week used to make it ok. It’s not going well, minor misunderstandings and lack of tone in work chat regularly end up in bitterness and resentment, that isn’t getting resolved.

I havent seen my family in over a year now, and with Scottish lockdown rules there have only been a couple of weeks where visiting them down south was allowed, and circumstances meant I couldn’t make the trip at the time. I’m not lonely as such, my wife is great. It’s certainly not doing my mental health any good, motivation is increasingly hard to come by for work and weekends are getting harder to fill. I’m beginning to worry about my lack of friends though. The weather getting better and the days getting longer can’t come soon enough long rides in the hills are one thing that help.

I was actually thinking about posting something similar here a few days ago – the OP beat me to it.

I’ve spent 13 months WFH in a small bedroom that has low ceilings – so I constantly bang my head when I stand up – I know I know – a slow learner, right?

For the last 4-5 months I’ve been sleeping in the same bedroom as well due to chaos with kids overnight – so I pretty much spend 18 hours a day in the same room. I’ve lost work and started new jobs a couple of times now so I’m not even working with people I’ve ever met – which makes the sense of loneliness feel more acute as I don’t really “know” my colleagues.

The constant chaos of young kids also means that I spend quite a lot of the day trying to appear professional on Teams calls / video when the kids are banging on the bedroom door / shouting / screaming / fighting each other outside. It’s been incredibly wearing and my ability to focus and get detail right is completely shot – which is a problem when work requires me to engage from 07:30 to 18:00 most days.

My partner has the short straw of wrangling young kids all day which has its own challenges – the only saving grace to that is they can all get outdoors in daylight a lot more than I’m managing – I typically get 45 mins in daylight each day.

I know I should be grateful that I’ve managed to find work and am not having to share a kitchen table in a flat as many people are doing …but the current existence is very challenging, not least as I know I’ve got at least another year of WFH unless I change my work.

I’m not expecting any real response to this. I’ve shared my mental state with my partner but I guess you have to walk in someone else’s shoes to understand them – and she would probably say the same.

Roll on June when at least we’ll be able to see family and friends again and maybe get out on the bike – I haven’t ridden since last Feb due to the worry of getting knocked off and landing up in hospital. I’ve been pretty strict at doing 45 mins on the turbo trainer though so my overall fitness is ok all things considered – and the daily workout probably helps with mental health as well. God knows how bad I’d feel without that!

Try not to conflate WFH and pandemic.

I’ve been WFH for a number of years, this last year has definitely been harder in many ways.

I do not enjoy working from home much either. The office I worked was hardly a hotbed of social activity but provided a background level of social contact that I found useful. It is also located a good distance for cycle commuting and I liked that exercise was naturally integrated into my daily routine.

 Anyone else feeling this way.

TBH it would be odd if many weren’t feeling exactly as you do right now. It’s a perfectly normal and understandable reaction to a really lifechanging experience for many folk. Does your work offer counselling services that you can approach? Many do, and mostly they are both free to employees, confidential (of course) and you can contact many of them as often as you need. If not, your GP may be able to put you in touch with some local services that offer the same thing.

while in might not offer much in the way of comfort, we’re nearly there, End of march you’ll be able to travel for exercise, and meet others outdoors for a ride, and by Mid April you can get out to the shops and cinema. That’s only 6 weeks away…

Yeah, been wfh for 23yrs now, although I do go out to sites 2 or 3 times a week which breaks it up a bit. Have found it socially isolating in the past (no work friends) but Mrs dB has been whf and daughter is furloughed for the past year. I don’t think wfh will be a std as it really doesn’t suit some people or their home situations and is especially detrimental to the learning osmosis that happens between people. But mostly wfh + lockdown really sucks ☹️

Yeah, I’m struggling big time. Was working from home before lockdown, but usually on average I would be out at least once a week to various locations across the country for meetings etc, sometimes it could be 2 or 3 timea a week.

But for a year now, all I’ve done is look at same 4 walls and its driving me insane. Apart from talking to wife when she gets home I have no other daily face to face interactions. A trip to the supermarket once a week is my social highlight and I normallyhate going to them!!

I do the regular zoom/teams meetings but its not the same as face to face. I was always happy in my own company before and didn’t think I was that social, but turns out I do need to see other people. So much so last year I’d planned a few small solo touring trips, but in the end I couldn’t face going away by myself, whereas I normally jump at the chance.

I dislike 99% of the people I work with – WFH is mint.

Just thinking about this today. For me it’s not loneliness – it’s lack of stimulation generally. It’s doing my nut. I mean I’ve been WFH for ages but I had travelling and client visits and stuff – not exactly prime adventuring but it broke the monotony.

Yep, I find it a problem too. I’ve been wfh for 4 years now, and I suppose the neverending lockdown actually makes me feel slightly better as there are now tons of other people in the same boat – we’re all lonely together. I have got used to it for the most part; and before everything was shut I’d make an effort to meet at least one person each week for a coffee/ lunch/ chat whatever. And I’d go for a beer with mates at least every couple of weeks – otherwise I’d start going a bit loopy.

F2f video calls help a little, but of course it’s not the same. And talking to the family isn’t really the same – it’s not really socialising in the same way.
My 2c, all I can suggest is now the weather’s improving a bit, go out on social rides; get out for an outside coffee or beer with a mate etc. The 9-5 still feels fairly isolated, but at least you’re not totally unplugged from human contact and just shooting the sh*t with people.

Interesting to see the broad range of responses, thanks all

But for a year now, all I’ve done is look at same 4 walls and its driving me insane. Apart from talking to wife when she gets home I have no other daily face to face interactions. 

I do the regular zoom/teams meetings but its not the same as face to face. I was always happy in my own company before and didn’t think I was that social, but turns out I do need to see other people

Strange, that’s exactly how I feel. I’ve always been very content in my own company but I wonder if that was because I was forced to be around others every day and being alone balanced that out. Now there is no balance as it’s all one side of that coin so it doesnt energise me the way it did.

get up, shower, work, eat, watch telly, bed, repeat.

Thats how I feel at the minute. I cant go out and exercise as my hip is knackered too.

I am not lonely as family around, but its starting to feel like life is passing me by which it hasnt done before.

Its also becoming apparent in my line of work (setting up Vaccination Services) that remote working is really unhelpful and things that would be resolved with a quick convo face to face are being protracted.

I went from being made redundant 2 weeks before lockdown to WFH in a new job as the first lockdown started getting relaxed. It’s been a bit challenging with kids but luckily the wife takes care of most of that. However, being new to the company means I didn’t know anyone just to bounce off when I got a bit bored which started to take it’s toll. Managed to get a few site visits in through the latter half of last year but I haven’t been further than Sainsburys since January. Once the eldest goes back to school next week I’m going to start getting a half hour walk/ride in at lunchtime.

I haven’t ridden since last Feb due to the worry of getting knocked off and landing up in hospital.

I find stuff like this quite bizarre. Is it a mental health issue? The roads are emptier than they’ve ever been (except for during the actual lockdown last year) and no more dangerous than they ever were. I couldn’t get through the week without riding most days. After work today I’m going to ride offroad. I think I’d go even more mental if I sat in the same house I’ve been working in all week riding a **** turbo-trainer!

100% agree with the OP I HATE working from home i like the people i work with and can’t wait to get back to the office mon-fri 9-5. I have found a few things that make it better though. I “commute” to work in the morning which is basically a loop from my house, leave the house and lunch to get coffee / food and meet my partner after work at the station. What I really struggled with was my days blending and working later – having those defined stops in my day really helped.

A decent stash of a records playing helps too, find vinyl really relaxing.

“I haven’t ridden since last Feb due to the worry of getting knocked off and landing up in hospital.”

“I find stuff like this quite bizarre. Is it a mental health issue? The roads are emptier than they’ve ever been (except for during the actual lockdown last year) and no more dangerous than they ever were.”

With the requirement to stay local that pretty much means cycling on roads – and with them being a bit quieter its noticeable that it’s brought out the stupid contingent in great numbers – much faster speeds and the like so it doesn’t feel very safe to be honest.

I’m also the sole source of family income so if I can’t work it immediately has a massive financial impact – I haven’t yet paid off the credit card bill from I was out of work last year so I don’t really want to chance having another period unpaid and losing the work I have in hand.

That really sucks dude, it annoys me that drivers are such idiots it means you feel unsafe on the road. No one should feel like that.