Work taking over your life

Viewing 35 posts - 1 through 35 (of 35 total)
  • Work taking over your life
  • Boba Fatt
    Member

    Can anyone explain how not enjoying your work equates to a cloud over your whole life?

    I hate working here and it’s getting worse by the day, now I know what I need to do, but in the meantime, how are you supposed to deal with it?

    twinw4ll
    Member

    Hatch a plan, execute said plan.
    I made mine ten years ago, now retiring age 54.

    Premier Icon riklegge
    Subscriber

    In my old job, I was extremely unhappy. I suffered from depression and anxiety, and the work situation exacerbated these feelings. Once I had decided to move on, it was as if a great weight had been lifted, and I was able to enjoy things again; riding, family etc.

    It sounds like you have already decided to leave this job. I would suggest trying to mentally take a step back to remove yourself from the work environment. I found that once I had stopped being immersed in my work, I was able to cope much more effectively. Easier said than done though, especially before you have something to move on to.

    Premier Icon jekkyl
    Subscriber

    Took the words out my mouth. I deal with it by retreating into music while I’m at work as much as possible so I don’t have to listen to all the (word extracted as on work PC) going on around me.
    It’s just the banality of it that really gets me, people talking about our industry like it actually interests them. I just can’t pretend to be that banal, so from time to time, about every 6 months I get really wound up about it almost to the point where I think I might stand up shouting, tipping over tables and telling people exactly what I think of them. Fortunately I have a wonderful family and cycling to keep me sane.

    Premier Icon seosamh77
    Subscriber

    twinw4ll – Member
    Hatch a plan, execute said plan.
    I made mine ten years ago, now retiring age 54.

    you gonny share this plan?

    P-Jay
    Member

    You’ve got to remember you always have options, if your work is making you unhappy you have to do something about it – even if it’s 3 years of giving up your evenings to a OU course to get a different job working towards something will make you feel better 9-5.

    Bad jobs eat away at you little by little everyday, IME if you don’t do something proactive about it you’ll become increasingly self-destructive, there’s nothing worse than seeing someone purposely piss people off until they’re sacked because they can’t bring themselves to move on.

    Premier Icon prawny
    Subscriber

    Crap isn’t it.

    It’s ok though, I’m going to win the Euromillions tonight and I can relax 😡

    I don’t think we’re programmed to do the same thing day-in, day-out for forty-odd years… Sounds like you’re ready for a change.

    Crack on, and when you get bored with that, do sommat else.

    Premier Icon big_scot_nanny
    Subscriber

    Above what those above have said:

    Maybe not the most professional attitude, but after it being very clear that most/all organizations do not GAF about us, I apply a healthy dose of not GAF about them or the work either.

    Seems to work well for all concerned, but I understand and empathize with your sitatuation. You only have three ways forward:
    1) do nothing , continue as is
    2) do something to change the situation in current job
    3) get new job

    You have the power, do what you need to do.

    Sorry Prawny – already bought the winning ticket…

    Premier Icon jekkyl
    Subscriber

    Ironically enough we have a massive work syndicate for the lottery.
    The people who work compressed to have friday off will be right tee’d off when we win later.

    Boba Fatt
    Member

    Thanks guys, i think you’re echoing what I already know but haven’t quite been honest enough with myself.

    The downsides:
    Hate the place
    Management are amazingly incompetent
    It’s not like i’m busy, more boredom than being swamped with work
    Shifts so It’s not 9-5 or even close

    The upsides:
    Moneys not too bad
    I have full access to external training and am learning what I need to know to get in to Web Development

    Premier Icon Kryton57
    Subscriber

    Within the last two years I moved into Sales – honestly the hardest job I’ve ever done and little appreciated by people outside the role (I know, I was one of the doubters). I had a terrible first year. I’m just having a great second one, but its easy for it to take over you life. Things I learned or was given advice on:

    a) work 45 minutes, take a break away from the ‘puter for 15.
    b) have a lunch, and something very different
    c) save overtime for when its really needed
    d) accept that any time now, you may soon be leaving to do something else
    e) remember that between <insert working hours here> you’re company rent your time. They do not own you.
    f) take opportunities. Vis a Vis if you find yourself waiting for a train in Costa, get a coffee and make a choice, Use the time wisely – do some work and check your emails, or sit and do nothing for 30 minutes but make the choice and stick by it. Don’t vary.
    g) You can choose to leave/change. Its your choice[/I].
    h) Turn your work phone off at a suitablely defined time.
    i) spend time with family/friends – phone off.
    j) learn about mindfulness and apply it, even to small moments like brushing your teeth.

    Good luck.

    Premier Icon binners
    Subscriber

    3 years ago I was in a job I hated, with people who i felt nothing but withering contempt for (they were complete imbeciles). So I started making tentative steps towards the exit.

    Then I had a ‘straw that broke the camels back’ moment, threw my toys out of the pram in fairly spectacular fashion, told them all what I thought of them (the words ‘clowns’ and ‘****ing circus’ may have been used repeatedly) and walked out. I then went for a big long walk in the hills, and planned what I was going to do next

    I’ve been freelance/self-employed ever since, doing stuff I absolutely love! Best thing I ever did. Never looked back. I felt a weight had been lifted off my shoulders the second I walked out of the building. I may have literally been skipping. Never had a single seconds regret in the last 3 years

    Just do that! Its worth it just to see the looks on the faces of the educationally sub-normal chimps you’ve been saddled with, when you deliver a load of home truths 😀

    Being unhappy at work = an unhappy life because, in our society, it is the main focus of your being and is the key to what you can do outside of work too.

    It stresses and effects (housing, car ownership, free time etc) extend far beyond the hours you spend there. Other than sleeping, it’s the major place you spend your life.

    If you’re unhappy, cut your hours or change your job. Accept that a wage cut /= a cut in your worth, which can be appreciated regardless of your employment.

    Anyway, in practice:
    Go part time
    Be a contractor
    Change your career

    Something like that.

    And don’t career change IN to web development. It’s shit. Two of my pals are doing so and while it’s better than what they were doing I think it shows a distinct lack of imagination.

    I’m currently at uni, aged 35, studying brewing.

    It’s important to pay attention to your feelings – I know us men aren’t really allowed to, and certainly not allowed to say it, but it is.

    It doesn’t mean you gave to stop doing whatever it is you do – a sideways step can make the world of difference – did for me. Stress gone (income admittedly slightly depleted).

    Premier Icon davosaurusrex
    Subscriber

    My job is OK, properly stressful at times but it ebbs and flows so I can live with it. Money not bad, plenty training opportunities and that.

    Did one of the most casually unprofessional things imaginable in a meeting last week though. Anyone care to have a guess?

    hodgynd
    Member

    For the last 10 years it’s been time over money for me ..
    Time to do the things I really wanted to do which basically was to ride my mountain bike ..and spend more time with the family
    I’ve been self employed running my own business(es) for the last 20 years with varying degrees of success..but more success = more stress..so I stripped things back and although the money is nowhere near as good as it has been the good times on my bike have more than made up for it ..living in a fantastic area for mountain biking also helps!…
    Listen to the voice in your head ..but do it with a bit of class ..no need to spout off ..say nowt and leave them wondering ..
    Good luck ..hope it works out .

    I took a pay cut and dropped responsibility went back to doing the bits I enjoy.

    I once had that. It is awful. It got to the point that I’d wake up some mornings and phone in sick. I think by today’s standards I was. However, I saw that was not the way to go and just kept trudging along. Thankfully a friend popped by a few months into me getting more and more fed up. Her job looked great and she said they were recruiting. An interview/chat with the MD a couple of weeks later. Then notice given. Then 4 years of tough and really enjoyable work with some dedicated and brilliant people in a number of countries. Oh, and while the pension wasn’t as good the pay was better. And it let me meet some amazing people and led me gently to my next step. And that was even better: more countries, more fun, and while a took a 1/3 pay cut to start, that changed rapidly. That journey ended at the start of this summer and I’m now about to start on an even better venture.

    I think the only times I’ve despaired have been when I did not like where I worked and what I was doing (once) and when I’ve lost sight of what I really enjoy doing. That latter problem is readily fixed with a plan as a few folks have suggested.

    gauss1777
    Member

    Did one of the most casually unprofessional things imaginable in a meeting last week though. Anyone care to have a guess?

    Asked a question? – I’ve been reprimanded so many times for asking questions in meetings.

    Broke wind really loudly??

    Premier Icon davosaurusrex
    Subscriber

    I’ve been pulled up for making unprofessional comments many times but they amuse me and meetings are usually dull.

    This time though I quite openly did a scratchcard. Got some looks.

    dirtyrider
    Member

    This time though I quite openly did a scratchcard. Got some looks.

    😆

    If I could get £285k together I’d change my career and my
    Life in a heartbeat!

    Been there and done it. Got depressed, got fat – changed jobs and it was all better… until history repeated itself. Changed careers and it has been okay for 12 years or so.

    Until the last few months.

    Problem now is that if I quit my Dad goes out of business and it is pretty much all that is keeping him going since my Mum died a few years back. I am not earning a great deal so finances are not the main worry. Like you, I know I need to do it – my Dad is financially fine, it is purely a quality of life thing for him – but I just can’t quite bring myself to do it yet.

    bear-uk
    Member

    I told myself I am not a prisoner and left my job. Became a porn star, its hard work but enjoyable.

    dannyh
    Member

    riklegge – Member
    In my old job, I was extremely unhappy. I suffered from depression and anxiety, and the work situation exacerbated these feelings. Once I had decided to move on, it was as if a great weight had been lifted, and I was able to enjoy things again; riding, family etc.

    It sounds like you have already decided to leave this job. I would suggest trying to mentally take a step back to remove yourself from the work environment. I found that once I had stopped being immersed in my work, I was able to cope much more effectively. Easier said than done though, especially before you have something to move on to.

    POSTED 4 HOURS AGO # REPORT-POST

    Have you been living in my head? This is an exact copy of where I was about 18 months ago.

    Just take a step back. Make a decision and go for it whatever you decide (unless it involves a tall building and a rifle). 🙂

    Premier Icon slowoldman
    Subscriber

    My entire working life I’ve managed to separate out work and life. I’ve never taken work home.

    The past year or so I’ve been totally wound up by the appalling nature of my corporate existence – crap systems, crap management, crap communications – all of which interferes with me attempting to do a decent job. For the first time in my life I find myself mulling over this shit at home. I don’t like it one bit and although I’ve only got 18 months to retirement I’m not sure I can stand it.

    Premier Icon matthewmountain
    Subscriber

    Thanks guys, i think you’re echoing what I already know but haven’t quite been honest enough with myself.

    The downsides:
    Hate the place
    Management are amazingly incompetent
    It’s not like i’m busy, more boredom than being swamped with work
    Shifts so It’s not 9-5 or even close

    The upsides:
    Moneys not too bad
    I have full access to external training and am learning what I need to know to get in to Web Development

    Is it the shifts that are getting you down? Or the work? Or both?

    jambalaya
    Member

    OP you deal with it by focusing your energy on that bright future you are working towards

    Sounds like you’re well paid and don’t have to work too hard. Ideal, anything else is a step backwards…

    dannyh
    Member

    Starting afresh also allows you to set your stall out a bit.

    In my current job I got given a laptop and a company mobile. I made it clear I wanted a desktop and that I had no intention whatsoever of even charging the mobile let alone answering it.

    It seems to have worked. I have used the mobile once whilst I was traveling by train for work and during work time. I have never done any work at home in this job.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’ve stayed late a few times when stuff really needed doing and pretty much always do an extra hour by being in 8 when I supposedly start at 9, but I am happy with this and no one seems to mind that, shock horror, I actually don’t want to think about or actually do work 24/7.

    If you can get a new job and get to a point where you are respected for your work and people know your boundaries then you have ‘made it’ to a certain extent.

    Boba Fatt
    Member

    Is it the shifts that are getting you down? Or the work? Or both?

    Partly the shifts, I don’t see my wife or kid for 3 days other than in the passing or when I video chat with my daughter before she goes to bed.

    Work is a dead end of fire fighting and things just keep going further downhill

    So a bit of both

    Premier Icon Trekster
    Subscriber

    I’m at the opposite end of the scale from the majority on here and in a manual job i.e. a fitter in a factory manufacturing polyester film for the packaging industry. At my age I can quit tomorrow, however after deciding to quit working shifts 2yrs ago I am enjoying my work again.
    Unlike most on here I am in my 39th yr with the same employer(name change a few yrs ago). Something which seems to be totally alien to many on here 🙁
    There have been many. Many changes over the years, some good and as today proved some so Friccing bad they are dangerous……
    I am what is probably classed as a “floater” or as some say “so laid back I could fall over”
    Today my ‘relaxed” demeanour meant a colleagues life may have been saved, he thanked me for that!!
    I have 2 “carter ” driven kids, no idea how that has come about but managing that is just as challenging as when they were school kids !!!!!!!
    My ranting may not be much help but I have many years of experienceing what “young” people’s aspirations versus their skills, actual abilities and life expectancies may be available to them.
    Our current apprentice is reasonably capable but we have a doubt that “fitting” is what he really wants to do, he has a year to convince our Boss…
    P.S. 2yrs ago I took a what to some was a drastic desicion, I quit my shift job losing £7k!!! Why? 3 reasons. I would have quit earlier but my Mum suffered a post op stroke which left her with a mobility issue, memory and subsequent Altziemer /Dementia
    Dad became a cater for Mum, I became cater for both.
    Long story(13yrs) short when Dad was in hospital I was loving across at work, my manager(arsehol)was by his (now ex)his partners mothers bedside I made the decision to either quit if a “day shift” job wasn’t available

    hodgynd
    Member

    Trekster ..I was reading that with interest ..but had you finished ..seems an abrupt end ?

Viewing 35 posts - 1 through 35 (of 35 total)

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