Took my lad to Legoland for his birthday today. Whilst in one of the queues a complete random stranger asks me if I would accompany her daughter (about 6) on the ride as she had to look after her son.

“Er….no”.

To my slight surprise the couple behind me then willingly volunteered and off she went with them. So, two questions.

1. Am I being overprotective by not even considering leaving my child in the care of an absolute stranger?
2. Am I wrong to refuse to look after a strangers kid, with zero knowledge of how they might react to being on a rollercoaster?

1. Nope. 2. That’s what I’d have said.

I’m with you and cubist. Good call.

I would have done as you did. My wife however would willingly have taken her on and had a go at me in the process for being ‘unkind’…

1. Am I being overprotective by not even considering leaving my child in the care of an absolute stranger?

2. Am I wrong to refuse to look after a strangers kid, with zero knowledge of how they might react to being on a rollercoaster?

1. Can see why you wouldn’t do the same. At the same time I think in a better world you should want to be able to.

2. Maybe yes wrong, but again can see why you would do as you did. A roller coaster is not the real world – in reality if she had kicked off you would not have been able to do anything about it and would have been back at the gate in seconds. Your role would have been a minimal one. ‘Care’ implies decision making duties and responding to an emergency – none of those things would have been down to you in any meaningful way.

We are naturally tuned into stranger danger in 2017 – imo it’s a real shame. A mum on her own should be able to give their kid to a dad with a kid to supervise on a ride. It should be ok – but instinctively warning signs now ring. The daily mail has a lot to answer for making us think we live in Pedoworld.

edit – Of course the actual STW answer should have been ‘was she fit?’ and ‘was she wearing a wedding band?’ This could be the ultimate chat up line and you missed it.

Even before everyone was paranoid about pedos (is it the Daily Wail’s fault?) a bloke accompanying a strange child would be a little odd, surely? A woman the kid didn’t know less so, I’d have thought?

I’d have done it though cos I’m a big kid and love to play

Pedoworld

If that’s the name of the theme park I can’t see it lasting very long.

Even before everyone was paranoid about pedos

The daily mail has a lot to answer for

It may have got worse but I can’t remember a time when the actual risk to children in day to day life wasn’t blown out of all proportion.

Does anyone remember Brass Eye? That was parodying the medias coverage of the issue nearly 20 years ago.

If that’s the name of the theme park I can’t see it lasting very long.

Not sure how far that idea would get on dragons den.

I probably would have said yes.

Yeah I’d have said yes but then I don’t think 2017 is some sort of stranger danger hype.

I’m not even sure it was the pedo/stranger danger aspect that made me say no to be honest.

I fully accept that rollercoasters are pretty safe bar the odd freak incident, but I do know that some of that safety aspect is having a responsible adult there to keep an eye on what they are doing. I’m just not sure I want to be the one responsible for the safety of a strangers kid. Maybe I’m just overly risk averse.

Depends on the kid, really – if they seem polite and okay with the arrangement then no problem. If it’s a brat with chocolate all over their face then no – I have standards.

I assume the mother and son were in the same queue / going to be on the same ride / even in the same carriage, as opposed to having the kid thrust on you while they went somewhere else.

Can’t see an issue – would do it / have done it, on rides where kids under a certain height have to be seated with an adult.

Certainly have done it skiing where the ski schools get priority queues – have been on chair lifts for 5-10 mins at a time with me and a random kid…. most memorably a kid was slapping his skis together and knocked one off, turned to me and with bottom lip a-tremble “Monsieur! J’ai perdu mon ski”

I didn’t know what to do so just shrugged and helped him off at the other end.

Had the ski lift ones a number of times, though it’s usually a ski school instructor and they’ll ask random strangers if they don’t mind their kids on the lift. Get concerned when they’re younger ones and whether I’m expected to help them off the lift. Responsibility and all that! Not me.

Mainly though I’d be worried about liability in some way. Accident happens and you’re the one accompanying them.

haven’t been skiing for 20-odd years mind, but back then it wasn’t an option – you were next in the queue as the ski-school rolled up and you were just given a child as the priority queue filtered in.

Sometimes it would be one added to a lift of 3 or 4, sometimes it was just you and them.

Yes I’d be happy to help. Was there a younger sibling too small to go on the ride? Parents are stuffed in those situations, one big enough to ride, just not on their own, the other too small and can’t be left alone.

In fact I’ve sat on the pirate swing at Legoland for eight rides at a time so kids can ride it. You need an adult each end of the bench seats or the ride doesn’t go.

I can see why you wouldn’t possibly but I would have myself, can’t deny the little ones the fun of a roller-coaster, I would have felt a bit mean.

I’d have been very happy to help too (on the rollercoaster or the ski lift).

And I’d be pleased that I appeared to be the kind of parent that other parents felt they could ask.

If anything goes wrong you’re going to be in a world of hurt.

If anything goes wrong you’re going to be in a world of hurt.

Mmm.. maybe, I doubt it though.

That’s also a pretty negative way to look at it I think: avoiding responsibility just in case something goes wrong. I’d rather help.

skiing last week (school hols and start of season down under) and got asked several times to take random kids including one with no real experience of lifts but I just flagged that up to the lift attendants – parent, former beaver leader, football team manager, etc – as far as responsibility goes I’ll just do my best, same as I did for my kids

“A woman the kid didn’t know less so, I’d have thought?” I’d question that…if you read the reporting on a lot of the current CSE cases you’ll see that women are quite often involved – its a trust thing and its mistaken

I’m confused by the request.

The kid was either old enough to go on the ride or she wasn’t. If she was, she wouldn’t need accompanying; if she wasn’t, she shouldn’t have been on it. Pretty much every coaster I can bring to mind has had a height restriction rather than an age restriction anyway.

Was the connotation “will you be responsible for our our daughter?” Um, no.

To quote legoland rules:-

Must be a minimum of 1.0m to ride.
Guests under 1.3m height must be accompanied by an adult.
1 adult can accompany 1 child only.
Q-Bot’s are available for this ride

I’m guessing the daughter was >1.0m<1.3m and the son <1.0m

one big enough to ride, just not on their own,

Again, I’m not intentionally being a dick, but this makes no sense to me. In what way are they big enough to ride but not on their own? Drop them off at the entrance, pick them up at the exit. What is someone adding as a guardian present on the ride? Reassuring words?

If she was, she wouldn’t need accompanying; if she wasn’t, she shouldn’t have been on it.

She might have been tall enough to ride lone but the nervous parent just wanted some reassurance that someone was watching out for her daughter.

Or she may not have been tall enough to ride unaccompanied.

I’d have helped either way if I could.

Again, I’m not intentionally being a dick, but this makes no sense to me. In what way are they big enough to ride but not on their own?

Dem’s da rulez innit?

Pretty common on kids’ rides in my experience.

Cougar – Moderator
I’m confused by the request

I’d assumed maybe the adult didn’t like rollercoasters

She might have been tall enough to ride lone but the nervous parent just wanted some reassurance that someone was watching out for her daughter.

Isn’t that what park staff are for?

I’d assumed maybe the adult didn’t like rollercoasters

A grown adult couldn’t ride Legoland “rollercoasters” deemed suitable for a six year old? I can only assume some form of non-visible disability, in which case I’d have thought that would’ve been disclosed to the OP as grounds for the request.

Isn’t that what park staff are for?

They don’t actually ride on the rollercoaster though. An anxious parent might be worried her little girl would get scared on the coaster, or just want the reassurance that someone is there making sure sure her kid doesn’t get hurt, or simply hates rollercoaster but doesn’t want to disappoint her little girl.

A grown adult couldn’t ride Legoland “rollercoasters” deemed suitable for a six year old?

Some people really don’t like rollercoasters. Some people get motion sick. Some people have heart problems. Or she may just have had another kid to look after.

An anxious parent might be worried her little girl would get scared on the coaster

Good point, that’s fair enough. Could’ve communicated that better though, perhaps?

Or she may just have had another kid to look after.

Assuming a much younger kid then yes, I retract my earlier comment, that’s clearly why they can’t ride.

To be fair the OP did say: “..if I would accompany her daughter (about 6) on the ride as she had to look after her son” so I guess the son was too young to leave on his own and couldn’t be taken on the ride with them either as it is a one adult per child policy.

to be fair, in most north american ski resorts, almost every chairlift you run the chance of being asked to accompany a kid in a ski school program.
Same difference really. Hopefully you’d do due diligence to make sure the bar is down and the kid isn’t going to fall off and you’d engage them in conversation on the ride up?

Wouldn’t bother me, as long as the kid appeared reasonably behaved.

Regarding the first point:

Am I being overprotective by not even considering leaving my child in the care of an absolute stranger?

Your choice. I wouldn’t second guess your parenting.

But we’ve done it regularly since they were six months old: nursery staff, school teachers, day care, childminder, nanny, ski instructors, beavers, ballet teachers, karate, etc etc

1. Am I being overprotective by not even considering leaving my child in the care of an absolute stranger?
2. Am I wrong to refuse to look after a strangers kid, with zero knowledge of how they might react to being on a rollercoaster?

You choices, not wrong and perfectly reasonable.

Personally, I’d help out and take the girl and I wouldn’t have a problem with letting a stranger accompany my 5yo on a roller coaster. (I’d pick people who had a child of same gender/age.)

I’m struggling to see how it could go wrong really – roller coasters are pretty safe and provide zero opportunity for someone to deliberately harm a child. (In the vanishingly unlikely scenario that the OP *did* want to harm a child in some way.)

iancity1 – Member

I would have done as you did. My wife however would willingly have taken her on and had a go at me in the process for being ‘unkind’…

You are married to my wife and I claim my £5 divorce.

Pedoworld

Is it cheaper than Alton Towers? If so we’ll chance it.

If they’re prepared to take the risk, it’s a free country.

In what way are they big enough to ride but not on their own? Drop them off at the entrance, pick them up at the exit. What is someone adding as a guardian present on the ride? Reassuring words?

All sorts of stuff. Helping them into seats, ensuring belts / restraints are done quickly and properly, stopping them from dicking about. Yes there are staff but maybe one or two supervising loading and unloading loads of people every couple of minutes and without the time to do much more than a cursory check (running past pulling the bars up to ensure they have locked down for example). And yes there are interlocks on the rides to also show that bars are locked down, but for most rides the purpose of the staff is to get them loaded and unloaded as quickly as possible, and to keep queuing down and the experience positive without compromising safety.

As noted, rollercoasters are incredibly safe in terms of numbers of riders to incidents, but they do also rely on the users operating them properly too. The height (and in some cases age) restrictions are one means of weeding out physical capability such as will the bar come down far enough to prevent them slipping under, but not all kids have the same capability to follow the instructions and rules.

thegreatape – Member

Wouldn’t bother me, as long as the kid appeared reasonably behaved.

This