Wife's Birthday – I asked what she wanted…

she’ll apologise

Hahahahahahahahahaha.
Not ever ever ever will she apologise. EVER.

Basically whatever you do or don’t get her, you’re a dead man walking. The moment “nothing” appears in a conversation with a woman means the no.2s is very close to coming into contact with the whirry spinny thing.

Id get yourself booked out of Southampton on the next freedom moped pronto.

Easy answer is always a couple of days at a spa, women love spas!

Many a good deal about too. Book it for you both and you get the added benefit of a present for yourself.

Careys manor is OK and quite reasonable take bike and ride around new forest while they beautiful her up.

Get her something that you think she will really like , wrap it up etc and hide it , but on the day of her birthday just give her a card . If she’s fine with that keep the present for next year , if she goes mad just tell her you were only joking and give her the present .

I know !! Tickets to the Big Bike Bash!!

I’ll add, and I’ve never been this stupid but a friend has, that in the highly unlikely event that she actually says something, that’s also a trap.

You’re not supposed to get what they say, or if you do then you *must* get them more stuff as well.

So my friend’s wife said ‘a camera’. So, and it is in no way his fault because he’s a bloke and it’s built into his genetic structure to behave in this way, my friend went and bought her a camera. He even told us about it. I should point out that my wife didn’t warn him of his impending doom and while I tried, he was convinced he’d nailed it.

They say what they want, you buy it, everyone is happy.

NO NO NO

a) It’s not a suprise
b) She wants other stuff
c) The other stuff needs to be well thought out and caring. Whatever that means.

In fact, buying her what she asks for is probably more dangerous than getting no answer at all.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Buy something completely and utterly unexpected. Aardvark, machine gun day, 17lbs of black pudding. Girls can’t deal with being angry when they’re confused which leads to the most important thing, you don’t get a kicking.

Not ever ever ever will she apologise. EVER.

Yep, I *was* being silly. 😉

Send her for a day at Spar, she can shop til she drops !

Easy:

A Jar of Air!

From the advert

“Comes full of Lancashire fresh air!

with novelty verse inside along the lines of you asked what the receiver wanted as a gift – they said ‘nothing’ so here it is

a jar of just that!”

Everything.

binners – In the same way nothing strikes fear into a mans heart like the words ‘I’m fine’, when you’ve just asked if she’s ok, as she looks a bit miffed?

😀

I always take that answer at face value and will then wander around being painfully happy, whilst talking at Mrs f about all sorts of random rubbish (this is usually accompanied by slamming of kitchen cupboards/utensils by Mrs f). Eventually she will relent and we will enter into violent negotations.

She has now learnt to skip the foreplay and go straight for it, which is a relief and saves time, and cupboard hinges…….

Ramsey Neil – Member

Get her something that you think she will really like , wrap it up etc and hide it , but on the day of her birthday just give her a card . If she’s fine with that keep the present for next year , if she goes mad just tell her you were only joking and give her the present .

Genius.

Its a test. You failed.

She has now learnt to skip the foreplay and go straight for it, which is a relief and saves time, and cupboard hinges…….

That could be taken out of context…

Eventually she will relent and we will enter into violent negotations.

So could that 😯

Something expensive and sparkly. It’s the best way of saying: “you’re worth it”.

Buy yourself something instead.

Nothing == Diamonds
Nothing != Nothing

Buy something anything,keep the receipt, but do not give her it if she is happy you can then return the item for a full refund under the 28 days trading laws.

However do not expect for this to go well make sure that back up plan of having something i good.

MY back up plan was a day paragliding, something she would never have expected.she felt bad and gave me lots of brownie points and coupons for doing what i want as an apology.

I have found that something different is defiantly the way forward from an item, as an experiance can’t be turned down and you can’t know if there going to like it or not, a item of jewelry clothing or perfume is like walking on egg shells over a fiery pit of doom, covered in spikes and broken glass all doused in a helping of tetness on the way down.

You’re screwed.. If you asked and she said ‘nothing’ that means you’re supposed to have used your brain and thought of something nice on your own, now she knows you can’t be arsed to think of something yourself and she feels hurt..
.
.

give her your car.
you know, that ladies one you bought.
then you can buy yourself a proper man’s car like waswas’s brother’s.

😀 LOL 😀

A facial

🙂

Nothing means “surprise me but don’t break the bank to do it”.

She got a laptop? Get on it, on stw and you’ll find all the ads are for stuff she’s been looking at.

Or it could work the other way round – coming up to her last birthday, pop onto stw on MY laptop, thinking ‘What the f*** is going on with all these ads for ruby jewellery?!’

This year I’m taking her to Ireland for a couple of days. I get a holiday, she gets a present, win win.

Tuppin’ togs!

This is the first year MrsMCTD has actually told me what she wants – and I’ve actually managed to go and buy it in time!

Hoping my back recovers before her birthday, in case she is grateful…..

A new hoover?

Get her a dildo then if she no like she can %%%%%%%%%%% herself.

A mate of mine used to work at a place where one of his (female) colleagues one day received a parcel delivery. It was a special delivery, apparently, came gift wrapped in see through cellophane. Said gift was a large dildo, and she had to walk back through the office to her desk holding it…

Weekend in Bath. Nice hotel, afternoon at the Spa(r), nice dinner, bish bash bosh.

unknown

See, I have the opposite problem. It’s my birthday soon and seeing as I don’t really consider being born as a particularly big achievement I would be entirely happy to ignore the whole sorry spectacle….

…I’ve tried to explain, over the course of many years, that the present I really want is for no mention to be made of the birthday, but it doesn’t compute.

I’m very similar and really cba with the whole thing. I keep meaning to sort out a pressie suggestion but IIRC this year will be the fourth bday I’ve not done so.

Interestingly I didn’t sort out a pressie for Mrs A this year and the matter has gone by the way side without much of a murmur.

We’re going to hit 25 years this year so that may or may not make a difference in our whole approach / relationship.

WorldClassAccident – Member
… and she said “Nothing”…

Believe that and it will describe your sex life 🙂

A threesome with a high class Eastern Euro callgirl?

She won’t be expecting it and it may yet ask unanswered questions.

I know !! Tickets to the Big Bike Bash!!

Pete wins!

Power tools.

If you get her nothing I see another WCA happening that may lead to more time off the bike.

Baby.
^this.

The comment about using her pc to look at STW is a great idea. You’ll likely find a hint, STW gets a thousandth of a penny from google et al.

Just don’t look too deep into the history…..she may turn out to be a Darksider!

My wife would not thank me one bit if I bought her a spa weekend. She absolutely hates the thought of it.

She said nothing, which means she’s a woman who has everything, in which case get her a course of penicillin. 😀

A tree for the garden, that way she’ll always have it as a reminder of not wanting anything, winner!!

She’s obviously a happy girl. Happy girls like Happy Meals at McD. A winner for sure. She’ll feel very special.

Just do it after a bike ride otherwise I find I can’t keep the McFlurry or thick shake down.

Take her to Manchester airport to see that ginormous Russian plane

WCA .. haven’t read all of the above but if you’d like a female perspective then ‘nothing’ either means:

1. nothing … no really, she has what she needs and doesn’t want you to go spending money unnecessarily – or –
2. ‘seriously you have to ask, you don’t know me well enough to think of what I might like, or can’t get your act together to surprise me with something I would never have expected, but, because you know me so well you’d know that I’d love’ [hint – can be an actual thing like jewellery, or even better an experience – see above for suggestions..!]

I would go with 2 and rest assured that contrary to the above it most certainly does not mean ‘baby’.

HTH 😉