MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
At the weekend I know I'll be in a social situation with loads of old friends' parents who will doubtless ask us yet again why aren't you getting married. In fact they'll probably be so rude to ask why we aren't planning on children as well!
Anyway, we are very happy together and have been for the last 12 years and looking forward to spending our lives together but I'd love some comedy replies. Especially if it raises an old "stuck in the mud"s eyebrows.
So, what'ya got?
Marrying a transvestite isn't legal yet ?
Takes more effort and commitment to remain un-married, no legal ties and no contract written, meaning marriages are the easy way out- they're all lazy.
'I'm not a sheep: mooooo mooooo'
marriages are the easy way out- they're all lazy
HA.
"cos she'll probably stop doing xxxx"
I heard on TV once, a young couple kept being told "you're next" by older family members when attending weddings.
They started saying the same to the older family members, when attending funerals.
Cos I've already done it twice?
"I am, you weren't invited because you're a knob who asks too many questions"
I can't marry her until my divorce to the twins cones through.
"Because I've seen how f*cking miserable you've all become since you got married"
Or
"I'm not getting married because I want to continue having sex"
🙂
Living in Sin hasn't become 'normal' and we enjoy sex too much for marriage to ruin it!
Good work! Keep 'em coming.
She isn't pregnant?
The one I alwasy use which stops people dead is "well I don't plan on being with Mr MC in 10 years time", the first time I got silence then a hesitant "Does mr MC know this?" ..... I didn't answer told them it was none of their business. Use it a lot now and it's great. Why does society fell the need when you hit 30's to say "when you getting married?" then "when you having children?" or "why aren't you having unprotected sex?" is the version I prefer!
Most people I know who get married get divorced .... so why waste your time and a WHOLE HEAP of money!!!
What Woody said, (and I noticed about my friends and family). 😀
woody2000 - Member"Because I've seen how f*cking miserable you've all become since you got married"
Or
"I'm not getting married because I want to continue having sex"
a few of the GF's relatives at her sisters wedding asked the pair of us why we weren't getting married (we've been together for - gulp- nigh on ten years, her sister and her man for two). the GF pointed at me and said "what... to him?". we laughed.
... i punched her later, mind. cheeky bitch.
Lol MC I always used to say 'what's the point, id only have to divorce him in a few years'. T'was by far my favourite response 😀 always got funny looks
oh, i thought you had died
How about "cos with relatives / friends like you the gifts would be hideous"?
Because we are both gay, this is a sham relationship to make social situations easier.
Or
Because we figure we can each make more money by have sham immigration marriages for money.
Or
To make conversion, otherwise what would you have to talk to us about?
TJ has it so far
Why does society fell the need when you hit 30's to say "when you getting married?
Possibly because this is still thought to be the norm by society, particularly those of an older generation? I don't see why anyone would get so aersy about something like that once they appreciated the view of the world from another standpoint. Everyone has a different idea of 'normal.
wse are married , we just didnt tell anyone.
Isnt marrige what old people used to do,
My boyfreind wouldnt let me marry a woman,
Because I would lose my benefits.
Because that would mean I'd have to stop seeing other women.
We prefer expensive holidays to spending a fortune feeding and entertaining you lot
To quote someone famous who's name escapes me.
.
"I'm not going to get married. I'm just going to find a woman I don't like and give her my house"
.
I think it may have been Woody Allen.
a casual I already am has raised a few eyebrows before now.
Just tell them it's a BLACK CARD situation. Make an actual black card to wave at them if it helps.
'Im not sure she's the one for me yet, and I don't want to rush into anything.'
3 grown up children and 20 odd years in.
We're still waiting to find the right person.
oh, i thought you had died
Proper lol! 😆
mmm it's awkward.
court order
don't want to encourage her
she wants me to give up the mistress
because it is a foul outdated contract that allows a man to take ownership of a woman degrading her to a farm animal. is that what you believe in. is it? well is it?
I was going to buy her a ring and then thought F%^^ it I could get a good full sus bike for that money ( this STW after all)
"Because I don't love her"
because I'm her pimp.
"Because she keeps running away when the drugs wear off".
anagallis_arvensis - Member
a casual I already am has raised a few eyebrows before now.
Similar to this, I was going to suggest one of you saying:
"He's/She's already married. It would make things complicated if we got hitched too"
my wife would object....
Because she moans when i keep digging up the patio so I have somewhere to keep the hitchhikers.
Cos she will stop taking it up the arse
8 1/2 years with my GF and no wedding, I'm liking some of these responces a lot.
'She won't have me' followed by bursting into tears.
Just say you can't tell them due to a superinjunction.
30 years together here without a wedding
We're holding out for more money from OK magazine.
I tend to use: "I'm holding out for a better offer", people laugh because they think you're joking.... conversation moves on
+1 for most of the "why aren't you married ones" - used a few up to when I got married (9 years together at that point). Actually, that reminds me of a classic when my now-wife's housemate said with quite a superior tone 'When you've been together as long as my husband and I have been...'. Then we pointed out that we'd been together 2 years longer than they had been.
Thing is once you do get married, people then ask when you're having kids which IMO is much worse. For a start, I've seen friends who are having trouble with conceiving/miscarriages asked...
As such, I did famously once stop a particularly annoying woman in her steps when I stated loudly that 'We can't have kids, it's devastating, we've been trying for ages, etc'. None of it true but the look on her face and the looks at her from everyone else (who also didn't know it wasn't true) were priceless 🙂 I don't think she asks people that anymore.
Thing is once you do get married, people then ask when you're having kids which IMO is much worse. For a start, I've seen friends who are having trouble with conceiving/miscarriages asked...
Yeah, I get asked when I'm going to start popping kids out. :s The worst one is the guy who's the head of my department - I say that I don't want kids, and he says, "Aaah, but you will. I guarantee it". Oh good, I'm so glad that he knows more about whether I want to have my career, independance and body ruined than I do. It makes me worry that it's impacting my chances of promotion - whether he's assuming that in a year or two I'm going to sally forth and multiply.
I'm tempted to say that I can't have kids, maybe that will shut them up. Or maybe that I have AIDS.
whether I want to have my career, independance and body ruined
People who put things in such strongly negative terms often do so because they don't really believe what they say - overcompensation. Reckon that's where he's getting his ideas from...
So when are you going to have kids? 😉
On the question about having kids, I always just say that I'm too selfish and don't want my life ruined.
I'm sure most of those with kids are extremely happy with their choice but they find it hard to understand that it isn't for everyone. Often they look offended at my anwser; good. Stop being such a nosey parker.
Prefer to ride my bike.
Still test-driving.
Waiting for an upgrade.
Just tell the truth: "I just don't love her that much and I'm pretty sure something better will come along sooner or later." 😈
thegman67 - Member
Cos she will stop taking it up the arse
"Because after years of rejection, I still haven't grown up enough to understand what the point of marriage is..."
Cos she will stop taking it up the arse
You can write your own vows y'know.
I LOL'ed at that
Cos she will stop taking it up the arse
She does with everyone else so we've been told..
because she used to be a man and I'm not sure of the legality of that situation. that said, looking at that beast you're passing off as a wife (and well done on that front, I have to say, I'd never have guessed), you can maybe advise on that.
No questions again, ever, guaranteed
Why aren't you getting married?
"Because one of us already is."
'I will when I find the right woman' is my stock resonse. But it's getting a bit old now, so I'll probably test ride some of these others. (13 years, one child)
Can't afford it, we have spent all the money kitting out our s&m dungeon.
You could try..
"I'm not too sure I can marry my sister"
"HA! i'm trading her in for a newer model the moment she starts to sag"
MrsToast, shame you caught the AIDS but you [u]can[/u] still have children.
She's not my GF she's my PA
When irritated I've usually just been honest: we both regard Marriage as an irrelevance.
.....because I'm still waiting to meet the right one!!!!