Why are Steven Seagull films so rubbish?

Just 'watched' a particularly bad one called 'Hard Target'. Truly terrible.

Got me thinking; every single film of his I've ever watched has been shit. Why is that? Even some Arnie and Stallone films are ok. Far more watchable, at least.

So, is there any Seagal film that's all right? Because I'm perplexed as to how this man has made so many films, and had such along and lucrative career. Same character in each; a pissed off pony-tailed bloke incapable of displaying any real emotion or feeling. Very violent.

I don't remember a single one being in the cinema. Only on TV in my knowledge.

Shittest 'actor' ever?

He has one good film – Under Siege is a classic 'manfilm'. Everything else he's done has been sheer unadulterated pish.

Because I'm perplexed as to how this man has made so many films, and had such along and lucrative career.

Cos he's another one of them blokes what's made up his own martial arts, ent he! 😉

I quite liked the original Under Siege, mainly cos Tommy Lee Jones played such a mental character so well in it! Seagal was ok in it though, mind you it was pretty much his first big film. So it is more than possible it was the start of a slippery slope as fame and fortune set in. Can't say I've really ever followed him to be honest though!

He has one good film – Under Siege is a classic 'manfilm'

Pfft. That's shite too.

Hmmm – I suspect you may lack the testosterone levels required to appreciate action movies. Stick with rom coms and period dramas.

I wonder if John Woo's ever considered a remake of Pride and Prejudice?

He has one good film – Under Siege is a classic 'manfilm'

I'd say Under Siege was good despite Seagal. Tommy Lee Jones steals it. As he did in The Fugitive.

Why on earth do you keep watching them?

'cause he's dopey

Piss off you Ernie. You watch 'My Family' and you think it's High Art.

It was on while I was pottering around cooking, sorting washing and things out etc.

Hmmm – I suspect you may lack the testosterone levels required to appreciate action movies.

Actually my psychiatrist suggests the opposite is the case, as I have a propensity for real violence of occasion, and am certainly not lacking in aggression.

I suspect it's probably more to do with my intellect demanding more stimulus than a Seagal film can provide me with. 🙁

I find myself wondering if certain audiences really are that thick, that the mindlessness of a Seagal film can entertain them.

I liked Hard to Kill and Nico. That was when I was about 14 though.

I love em – getting drawn in wondering what new depths of cringeworthyness he will stoop to next

He's just a cook.

There was that hijacked plane film, where he only said 2 lines then got killed, I thought that was his best film.

There are certain types of film that you can get an audience for whether its good or bad. If you make a martial arts movie (as in a white-guy martial arts movie, ala Chuck Norris), or a Weirwolf movie, or a Zombie Movie theres an audience that will watch just so that they've watched all the Zombie movies, or all the White-guy-chop-socky movies. Thats why a lot of these films are so formulaic, they only need one action or horror scene to distinguish them, the rest is just filler. I also wonder if people just watch segal because he's funny. I can't remember the film now, but he was doing Chop-Socky moves in black pajamas and he looked like he was directing traffic.

I think the films are good fun. Hard to Kill and Under Siege particularly.

Are they running "Steven Segal – Lawman" in the uk yet?

a REAL Lawman

Lawman is classic TV…

however when Segal takes on voodoo Rasta gangsters in 'Marked for Death' it was one of his career defining moments. A true masterpiece of modern film..

He seems to have Produced quite a lot as well – http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000219/ – which might explain why he is so bad as an actor to watch.

His films are awful but like a moth drawn to a lightbulb, I seem to watch them – not often or with any real excitement but it tends to mean that anything else on TV is even worse so that is the best of a bad bunch!

He's a fat rug wearing knobber, end of.I put him in the same group as Jean Claude Van Gay (good in his era), made films at a time when there was a demand but then couldn't stop themselves making more and more pish….thus ruining their rep. They were never in the league of the big boys Arnie and Sly.

Chuck Norris though was a legend…..sadly made that dubious series in which he is a ranger and he also went down the former 80's heros trying too hard.

All his recent stuff was/is straight-to-TV pap; most of the ones I've glanced at (they are unwatchable) seem to have his voice dubbed too…

Most bizarre.

Under Siege should have only been 30 secs long…. these 30 secs (NS4W)

Under Siege, Marked for Death, Nico, Hard to Kill – classic! On Deadly Ground is also ace = especially the scene where he goes on am Inuit 'spirit journey' and wrestles with a bear. 🙂

If you thought the old ones were shit try watching one of his recent films – Jesus. Flight of Fury is one I saw a bit of recently – truly dire.

wondering if certain audiences really are that thick

Yes, they are. The current test question for audience intelligence….
'Did you enjoy Avatar?'

Southern Yeti

Excellent but it shows what a complete dick he is. Who in their right mind tells EE to 'whhooooaa' when she is getting her kit off ? 👿

See, I don't mind a bit of mindless fun. something like a Terminator film is enjoyable. Even Rambo! But I've never seen a Seagal film that has had any redeeming qualities whatsoever. Always the same formulaic 'one man band against evil' type nonsense. Granted, you're not always in the mood for the über-cerebral challlenges of a heavy Bergmann classic, or have the emotional energy for something like Ghandi, but Seagal films don't really fill any gap at all.

Some of my mates used to enjoy a Seagal film when we were young (VHS!), but I could never see the point.

Mainly because they are, after all, pointless…

Isn't he being sued right now for sexual harassment? And not just for being a bit forward in the office either.

Oh so he's a sex pest as well as a shit actor?

Knew it. Always felt there was something 'not right' about him.

Dirty bastard. Anyone who enjoys his films is a nonce.

I can't believe you're dissing on the main man seagall…aren't you scared he might be reading this?

What I particularly appreciate about his recent work is the quality of his tailor. The clean lines of his expanding suits is deployed like the highly effective dazzle camafluage used to hide the bulk of WW1 warships. IMDB reports he may actually wear a suit using this technique in his next project (much cheaper than CGI).

Also his fighting style has evolved to the point where he doesn't have to attack (and therefore get sweaty/jiggle) at all – his enemys run at him and are thence dispatched. Economical & awesome.

His films are what small boys watch before they discover girls.

Oh so he's a sex pest as well as a shit actor?

And he'd probably vote Tory….

Undoubtedly.

bigbloke – Member
in the league of the big boys Arnie and Sly.

fair shout, no-one comes close to arnie.

Talkemada – Member

Oh so he's a sex pest as well as a shit actor?

Knew it. Always felt there was something 'not right' about him.

Dirty bastard. Anyone who enjoys his films is a nonce.

Talk- I have never lol'ed or even typed lol for that matter… but your post did just that. 'knew it' like you had been harboring thoughts that seagull was a kiddy fiddler for years… at least you can go home tonight and tell the wife you were right all along!

All this back talk against the big Seagull is not on… anyone who can stop a crack head from running from the cops, purely for that fact that he is S. Segal should be commended

For all you 'haters' out there – go watch a few episodes of Lawman… than you will understand…

There's a series of Seagal?!
Oh lordy that's exciting *dusts off torrent client*

From Wikipedia:

Regarding his career, Seagal has stated, "I am hoping that I can be known as a great writer and actor some day, rather than a sex symbol".

Don't think he has to worry too much about the last bit…

Their rubbishness is all part of their incredibleness. I remember in one film he made a missile out of a load of old pipes and canisters?! As you do…..He also seems to disarm baddies just by glaring at them for abit. Magic.

We loved segal films when i was at uni – the thing about him is that he never seemed to get that in action films, the good guys get hit about a bit then come back to conquer the eveil doers , he just plods through the whole film never even getting scratched. it was like he'd never seen anyone else's films and thought he'd created the whole action film genre on his own – genious.

the voodoo rasta one was the best – 'you killed my bruther, now you gonna wish you was deeeeaaad' cue SS dispatching said voodoo rasta in about .3 seconds with no thought given to anything as boring as drama or concern for the hero. Not bothered with anything since under seige as it wears a bit thin after about 3 films.

His films are poor and he now waddles around looking foolish but don't slag off the martial art. It's a genuine art (aikido) and he was very accomplished in it before the whole movie thing.

It is rumoured he also well accomplished in the art of wife bashing.

Ray Mears is the man he will never be. Ray would **** him up. Then have a little cry about beautiful scenery.