Viewing 39 posts - 1 through 39 (of 39 total)
  • When is the right time to move…
  • jolmes
    Member

    house during pregnancy? While pregnant or after baby is born?

    The Mrs doesn’t want to move before next baby is born (due July) but the current house isn’t going to accommodate said new baby and all the things that brings, its already small enough for a crazy soon to be 3yr old and a daft Old English Sheepdog and all our stuff.

    I’m more than happy to sort out everything to reduce the stress she’d be under and take everything on board, I took care of the house purchase before and all she had to do was sign on the dotted line.

    I also understand that a house move during pregnancy is one of the most stressful things you can do for a mother and unborn (this should scream at me I know), from everything that happened during our last pregnancy she needs to remain stress free.

    Think I must be in nesting mode and want everything ready and have our toddler settled before his life is “ruined” (his words) before his brother/sister comes along, I cant think of anything worse than moving house with a new born.

    I’m being selfish and unreasonable aren’t I?

    FunkyDunc
    Member

    Just get on with it

    When is the right time to move…house during pregnancy?

    Whenever your wife decides.

    Premier Icon stumpy01
    Subscriber

    I think it’s one of those things when there’s never a right time. Holding off just brings up a different set of ‘issues’.

    I’d aim to get it done before the baby arrives, if possible.

    Premier Icon weeksy
    Subscriber

    TBH i didn’t think moving house was stressful at all…. It’s as stressful as you want to make it. We ended up moving into a rented place for 3 months to keep our chain easy, which some people may think is stressful as it was 2 house moves in 3 months… but really ? is it ? No, it’s just putting stuff in boxes.

    IHN
    Member

    I know someone on here who moved with a week-old baby.

    Premier Icon nickc
    Subscriber

    Damned if you do  and half a dozen of the other.

    There’s no right or wrong, but if you’re wife is against a move before, listen to your wife.

    Premier Icon tomhoward
    Subscriber

    If grand designs has taught me anything, it’s that you must time it so that any delay whatsoever may mean your little one coming into the world in the back of a removal van.

    fasthaggis
    Member

    Same as Weeksy,don’t find moving stressful.*
    Make a plan,stick to the plan.
    We moved with the then toddler before our second arrived.
    * Of course some people/couples seem to get stressed about a long list of things.

    mashr
    Member

    The real answer is before. Simple things become wwwaaayyyy harder when there’s a wee one involved. EDIT: just seen there’s already a wee one involved, so its just:

    The correct answer for your situation otoh is what Perchy says

    Bear in mind there’s very little on the market in winter so choice is limited.

    If the baby is born in July and you leave it a few months to think about moving you’ll probably be waiting until the following April/May before anything suitable comes up.

    That’s a pretty strong reason to start looking this spring AFAIC.

    Academic because your wife will be making the decision and if you move this summer she won’t be able to complain about the house being too small all of next winter!

    A colleague tried to move just before the birth.

    The stress of moving induced a premature birth.

    Joking aside – early enough to spend a week in the premature baby unit, not early enough to have any long lasting problems.

    A colleague tried to move just before the birth.

    The stress of moving induced a premature birth.

    We moved 1 week before the due date. It was insanely stressful but not because of the new baby and the ‘impending baby’ aspects of the move were fine for all involved.

    Full disclosure: 7 years later the “baby” fell over and split her lip. Makes you think…

    jolmes
    Member

    A colleague tried to move just before the birth.

    The stress of moving induced a premature birth.

    Baby no1 was two months early due to eclampsia/HELLP Syndrome, found her at home having a seizure and then went in for an emergency c-section. babyno1 spent a month in SCUBU and the Mrs spent 5 days in the ICU, very touch and go for both. She doesn’t remember a thing. Hence why we’re trying to keep stress levels down this time.

    scruff9252
    Member

    An acquaintance of mine did as you suggest OP and buy & move into new house before their newest popped out. All went quite well, up to moving day.

    His wife walked into their new house on day of purchase then stated, “We’re not living here”. T(he)y then had to sell that house and buy another one. Quite a stressful experience from what I understand.

    I’d make sure your wife was fully on board with the moving thing before taking steps!

    sharkbait
    Member

    His wife walked into their new house on day of purchase then stated, “We’re not living here”

    Had she not seen the house before they bought it???

    We moved house in the November – twins born [a couple of weeks early – but we knew that would happen] beginning of the following May (we already had a 20 month old daughter).
    Worked for us.
    The thought of moving house after having twins was an absolute non-starter and your wife may not want to move for a while after the birth.

    edit: the house we moved into had no carpets, no curtains, needed the kitchen knocking into the next door room and a few other messy, structural, bits … and then it all needed decorating. These bits were done before the birth.

    Premier Icon Jon Taylor
    Subscriber

    Hence why we’re trying to keep stress levels down this time (during pregnancy)

    Well just do it later then. If you have too much stuff/too small house, rent some storage for a year.

    Baby no1 was two months early due to eclampsia/HELLP Syndrome, found her at home having a seizure and then went in for an emergency c-section. babyno1 spent a month in SCUBU and the Mrs spent 5 days in the ICU, very touch and go for both. She doesn’t remember a thing. Hence why we’re trying to keep stress levels down this time.

    I don’t know what most of that means but I think it moves the question beyond the capabilities of many STWers to meaningfully comment. Certainly ignore my comments. (A good idea anyway!)

    Premier Icon pocpoc
    Subscriber

    Before you rush to move, bear in mind that the baby will be in your bedroom for the first 6+ months anyway.
    We had 3 children (and a Spaniel + Cat) in a 2 bed terrace for 8 months until we moved somewhere bigger.
    5yo and 3yo were happily sharing a bedroom and baby was still in with us until we moved. We completely stress free by that point as baby was old enough to be left with Grandparents with her siblings during the day as we moved.

    Premier Icon cinnamon_girl
    Subscriber

    Before you rush to move, bear in mind that the baby will be in your bedroom for the first 6+ months anyway.

    Is that a thing?

    jolmes
    Member

    Before you rush to move, bear in mind that the baby will be in your bedroom for the first 6+ months anyway.

    Yeah sounds about right. First born still comes into our room and hes nearly 3! He spent a good year in the Next To Me in our room. Mainly because it was so much easier for night feeds and meant we actually got some sleep.

    Premier Icon edhornby
    Subscriber

    “The Mrs doesn’t want to move before next baby is born (due July)”
    “Baby no1 was two months early due to eclampsia/HELLP Syndrome, found her at home having a seizure and then went in for an emergency c-section. babyno1 spent a month in SCUBU and the Mrs spent 5 days in the ICU, very touch and go for both. She doesn’t remember a thing. Hence why we’re trying to keep stress levels down this time”

    Stay where you are. Have a massive clear-out of all the stuff you don’t need. Spend your energy and time being fun dad with the eldest 🙂

    Is that a thing?

    For us it was. Moses basket by the bed then cot by the bed.

    Premier Icon piemonster
    Subscriber

    I didn’t find moving at all stressful

    The other half reaction however, now that was hard work!

    Is that a thing?

    Yes,

    That is very much a thing.

    avdave2
    Member

    We moved when our twins were 3 months old and their sister 3 years. Once we knew twins were on the way we knew we’d have to move! As others have said start looking around and getting rid of anything you won’t take with you but even if you wanted to it’s not likely you’ll have everything organised and be able to move before July. When we did move my wife went with the kids to my parents and I stayed and did all the packing and clearing.

    And you definitely don’t want to introduce any stress given the previous circumstances. A very good friends daughter was in a similar position and basically told this baby is coming right now as the chances are you won’t survive if we wait. It’s a very serious condition but I’d hope given the previous history your wife is being closely monitored.

    Both mother and baby are doing very well 2 1/2 years on despite him being 2 months early and with barely any time to administer steroids.

    jolmes
    Member

    your wife is being closely monitored.

    She is yes thanks :), daily dose of aspirin, extra scans and York Hospital are part of the trial to predict eclampsia so at 20wks she’ll have her bloods taken and they’ll check for how well the placenta is growing, apparently its pretty darn accurate.

    fasthaggis
    Member

    Is that a thing?

    Nope, in the coal shed after the first week, kept the noise down*

    * Did have a baby monitor in beside them turned down low, we are not total savages

    Premier Icon simon_g
    Subscriber

    We agreed to buy our house about 6 weeks before first was born, although it took 6 months from then to actually move in. As said, they’re in with you early on which is why I find the whole thing of “getting the nursery ready” for new parents to be a bit bonkers.

    We were in a small flat at the time, I just rented a small storage unit and moved anything that we weren’t likely to need into there. If you can sell or give away stuff then do. Easily freed up enough space for the new baby stuff.

    Paying the extra for your moving company to pack for you is 100% worth it once you have kids, whether before or after a birth. Team just swarmed in, we went off shopping, and they had it all done by lunchtime.

    Premier Icon Jon Taylor
    Subscriber

    Paying the extra for your moving company to pack for you is 100% worth it once you have kids

    Also this. It cost us, maybe £300 extra on top of the move? They look far longer than estimated and damage a few minor things, but it was still worth it to not be living out of and around boxes for the weeks it would have taken us to do it in the evenings.

    Don’t rush it, don’t stress. Maybe start looking but then there’s a risk you’ll find the perfect house and have to GO NOW, which is going to be stressful….

    jolmes
    Member

    I’ve never paid for a moving company, always just hired a van and done it myself, I’m pretty damn good at packing, I associate this with a slight OCD about it, things fitting together nicely and Tetris, albeit I’ve never tried moving with a child or two. There is a a first for everything!

    I have some storage in terms of my mums garage where we can put stuff. The house is in need of a clearout I think so if anyone wants some wheels and a turbo they’ll soon be on the classifieds…

    Maybe start looking but then there’s a risk you’ll find the perfect house and have to GO NOW, which is going to be stressful….

    Yup already done that, bigger house, garage, huge garden, garden hideaway/chalet, within budget, scope to extend in the realm of 2 extra ground floor rooms and 2 upstairs bedrooms. Only house I’ve looked at in a year of rightmove searches that I actually liked…

    Yup already done that, bigger house, garage, huge garden, garden hideaway/chalet, within budget, scope to extend in the realm of 2 extra ground floor rooms and 2 upstairs bedrooms. Only house I’ve looked at in a year of rightmove searches that I actually liked…

    Love it how you keep drip feeding bits of critical information into this thread! 🙂

    I moved with a 3 week old baby. Worked out fine.

    I would say, on that occasion, it was worth paying someone to turn up, box stuff up, and move it for us, because there were three of us that had had approximately zero sleep.

    Premier Icon TiRed
    Subscriber

    We moved within three months of the first. To a bungalow in the middle of nowhere on a farm. With no heating. In winter. Whilst the new house was being built about four doors down from our orginal house.

    Mrs TiRed was very understanding.

    The we moved shortly after number 2 was born to th enext road.

    Just do it. You need a bigger house. The mother of your children will not be doing much packing as she will have her hands full at any time. Get on with it.

    NZCol
    Member

    We moved halfway round the world when ours was 12 months old. To a house my wife had never been in, in a city neither of us had lived in. Was fine. But honestly do you need to ? If not then don’t bother

    Premier Icon SaxonRider
    Subscriber

    We bought our first house when Mrs SR was 6 months pregnant, I promptly went away to Ukraine for a month on my own, and we moved into said house when baby was 1 month old.

    So, yeah, as @FunkyDunc said… just get on with it.

    But do try to make it fun while you’re at it. And don’t go off to a far away country immediately after.

    Is that a thing?

    Yes,

    That is very much a thing.

    Yes. It’s a thing for wrong people.
    Don’t do it. Just don’t.

    Premier Icon jsync
    Subscriber

    My daughter was born 2 weeks before we got the keys to the house and we moved in just under 3 months later (the week before Christmas). In those 3 months I had to manage kitchen and bathroom refit, decoration and CH redo, whilst moving by myself. Personally if I was doing it again I’d do it before the birth and pay someone to move for me. Saying that whilst it was a bit rubbish we did it.

    Good luck whatever you do, make sure you both agree though as life’s too short to stress.

    Yes. It’s a thing for wrong people.
    Don’t do it. Just don’t

    The NHS seem to think otherwise.

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