For me, it’s sunny stick insects. I mean WTAF? I was expecting a curry so thought nothing of the large Tupperware box in her hands but no, instead of an arse stingingly hot delicious Indian delight I have 4 bloody stick insects.

I’ve spent the last hour trawling the web for a suitable terrarium, learnt all about the required humidity and tomorrow need to find a ready supply of brambles.

Oh and in case you were wondering I had soup, it was rubbish!

not much meat on a stick insect, maybe try ribs next time?

An appointment for a job interview.

I went and got one too; six months later we’d sold the house and car and moved to a new life 18,000km away.

A crow, it had been hit by a car. She was absolutely soaking as she had it wrapped in her jacket during a downpour.

Called the SPCA expecting a dismissive attitude but no. They were right round taking care of it.

Up till that point i had absolutely no idea how smart and intelligent crows are!!

Up till that point i had absolutely no idea how smart and intelligent crows are!!

Wait until you get the letter from the solicitor for injuries caused.

Me, probably.

tomorrow need to find a ready supply of brambles.

They love privet too.

They love privet too.

I wish this were the case as there is privet everywhere, only this species of course are the difficult arseholes that have a very specific diet!

Bramble, Hawthorn, Chestnut, Raspberry, English ivy and Beech are their foodstuff of choice, my wife’s “expert” friend (who incidentally I can’t wait to meet) has said bramble only.

Dozens of Swan plants to encourage the Monarch Butterflies

They love privet too.

Do they “value your privitcy”?

Weirdest thing my OH has bought was a pair of foot stools. Nothing wrong with that other than that we were on holiday 200 miles away, and getting them in the car along with 6 people was something of a challenge for the journey home.

Up till that point i had absolutely no idea how smart and intelligent crows are!!

When I was a kid we nursed a young one back to health after he had (presumably) been abandoned. Crafty little bugger he was.

Used to visit us every now and then for years afterward for a bit of food/banter. *Tapping on the window* ‘ah, that’ll be Douglas back for a catchup’

My other half absolutely loves decorative items, eclectic weirdness etc.

She virtually lives in the ‘tip shop’ at the local recycling centre.

This wasn’t from there, but one of the most awesome things she came home with was this bowl.

[url=https://flic.kr/p/TcMF6Q]Untitled[/url] by kayak23, on Flickr

It’s actually pretty massive too. Lives on the side in the kitchen.

It’s random yes, and I’ve put some aging potatoes in there at the moment, but actually,I love how mental it is 😂

We also have lots of bent spoons, squashed and dried out frogs, candellabras(sp) and lots of them, taxidermy ducklings in glass domes and lots of scientific test tubes etc.

I just generally smile when I see what comes through the door next. 🙂

Do they “value your privitcy”?

and lots of them, taxidermy ducklings in glass domes

😂 my wife proudly presented me with one of these last week as a gift of freedom after I left a rather toxic job.

That bowl though… 😉

Another baby?

My Mrs is a physiotherapist, specialising in continence (so bladder rehab, pevlic floor etc). She has a variety of “devices” that end up at home, usually after she’s been to some seminar or other.

Things like:

Must have some advantages though.

Me.

I’m random A.F

woody – Your wife must think you’re the most gullible person 🙂

Recently – A decorative tree made from Toffee Crisp (trunk and branches) and Haribo (leaves).

It was 2ft tall.

Must have some advantages though.

I’ll have a never ending supply of Tena for Men when the time comes 🙂

3 banana trees someone had put out for green waste collection. Banana trees I planted and have actual fruit growing.

Amazon parcels. About 12 a day.

🙁

Toffee Crisp

My fave choc bar 🙂

A full size upright piano.

A Black Man she met whilst out clubbing 🥴

Mrs Stern is as mad as a box of frogs. If I start listing all the totally random things she‘s done this thread would be longer than the Brexit thread. Two examples; last year I came home to discover she’d put our house on the market without telling me.And now in our new house two Workman arrived yesterday to change all the glass panes in the house because they were ‚the wrong tone‘.

Five large blue rubber penises.

My wife brought home an owl in a peg bag recently, her aunt and uncle rescue owls but they were going away for the weekend, the barn owl had broken a wing and was happily sitting in the peg bag to restrict its movement and was hung up by the Aga

Five large blue rubber penises.

That’s Numberwang!

last year I came home to discover she’d put our house on the market without telling me

WT a F

I mean, I came home once to find my wife (and her mum & dad) had taken a dividing wall down which I was quite surprised about, but that’s a whole different level.

Either a four foot long stuffed toy in the shape of a salmon for my lower back when using my desk chair a few years ago, or a viola in case she bought on EBay that I’ve never heard her play once in the ~6 years it has taken up refuge in the hall cupboard!

Hedgehogs, two off.

We were out on the motorbike and she spotted 2 hedgehogs on a busy road, so we had to stop to move them to safety.

Then she got the bright idea we should take them home instead because “they’re good for the garden”. We had nothing to carry them in, so of course they had to go inside my shirt – couldn’t be hers because they’d get squashed between us – or so I was told.

They weren’t too happy about that, nor was I, the little pricks.

But we got them back to our place safely, she put a saucer of milk out for them and left them loose in the back garden.

Next morning they had disappeared, but I still had all the reminder punctures on my belly. That wasn’t a real problem though, it was the itching.

No one had ever told me hedgehogs can carry 10 times their body weight in fleas, and those fleas decided my motor bike gear was Utopia. It took ages to get rid of the little feckers.

You’d think job done, but a few miles into a ride and the itch would start. I get itchy just thinking off it to this day over 40 years later.

Hedgehogs, two off.

We release HHs, had one delivered yesterday from the local HH Hospital, to go into the release pen. Have loads in the garden at the moment, get 20+ visits to feeding stations each night (prob half a dozen HHs visiting multiple times).

Five large blue rubber penises.

That’s Numberwang!

This deserves a wider audience.

Beehive.
Full of bees.

last year I came home to discover she’d put our house on the market without telling me

And here’s me flipping out because I wasn’t consulted about some stick insects 😳

Some quality ones, keep them coming.

Wife,”I’m popping to the shops, do you want anything?”
Me,”Yes,bring me something nice”
Wife,”like what?”
Me, “ I don’t know, surprise me”
1/2 hour later I’m the proud owner of a action man.
Needless to say I was surprised.

A few weeks later similar conversation with me ending it with “And don’t get me me an action man”…. Ended up with a carrot that time.

Half a cow in a box.

Titanium rods that have come out of people

A phonograph-

Not that exact one, but one very similar. With 78s. Punted on shortly afterward when he couldn’t get in past it to play his drums.

edit- the five or six demijohns (out of some old boy’s shed) all full of decade-old country wines with the airlocks still in and still sat on the expired yeast was a good one too.