Sapphire and steel.

“Ain’t Half Hot Mum” – complete with Rangi Ram in blackface and the Sgt Major making homophobic insults.

That would rattle a few cages 🙂

In the same vein; In Sickness and in Health

Spitting Image would just be a current affairs program these days.

Firefly would be ace.

“Live in Concert”. The BBC used to have a regular late night programme in the mid 1980s where they showed about 50 mins of a band live. These days the BBC appears to squander it’s entire music tv budget on extensive and frequently repeated Glastonbury coverage and the unbearably smug Jools Holland’s programme.

Tales of the gold monkey
Eurotrash
Starfleet

Since vondally has already posted my first thought, and most of my other favourites have been suggested, I’ll go for Minder.

Superstars.

I’d love for there to be a decent weekly sci-fi show again worth watching

Really? It’s never been a better time for sci-fi.

Starfleet

Ooh, yes! This.

Space 1999

The Tube

The answer is always The Trap Door, but done proper – no CGI.

But also…

Ultraviolet. Never understood why it never got beyond just one series.
All the Quatermass stuff. Potential to be a British X-Files.
Robin Of Sherwood. With a GoT budget.

Old Grey Whistle Test
Brittas Empire
Captain Scarlet & anything SuperMarionation
Test Match Special
Upstart Crow

Spitting Image – ripe targets at present.

The Great Egg Race.

Scrapheap challenge.

Kickstart.

The Munro Show.

Some great suggestions – had forgotten some of these.

Fun House, would love to see my lad as a contestant!

Kickstart

#spoiler

Dougie Lampkin would still win it 👍

One foot in the grave.

Definitely AirWolf and bring it on to a new series of EUROTRASH 🤣

Dinnerladies, bring back Dinnerladies..

Bullseye, hosted by Johnny Vegas.

Britain’s Hardest Pubs, with Piers Morgan.

The Hitman and Her, with Ben Stokes and Stacia from Hawkwind.

Alice in Wonderland – Alice Beer attempts to read the whole of Lewis Carroll’s masterpiece live, whilst ex winners of Only Connect decide which drugs she is given next.

The Late, Late Breakfast show with Frankie Boyle.
Widdecome doing the stunts.

Dinnerladies, bring back Dinnerladies..

Indeed.

As Gerard Depardieu said to me that day in Deauville “What’s the point in having a big nose if you can’t jam a banana up it?”

Alice in Wonderland – Alice Beer attempts to read the whole of Lewis Carroll’s masterpiece live, whilst ex winners of Only Connect decide which drugs she is given next.

That is genius

Rhubarb and Custard

Superstars

+1. Also Superchamps. And C5 used to have a weird, made-up olympics-type thing of odd Euro contests – head-first long jump, high jump into a swimming pool, slalom of blokes running down a steep grassy blank. Can’t remember the name but it was odd and fantastic. 🙂

Citizen Smith – 30/40 years on whatever……

Cast – Binners taking the lead role
Binners Wife – AKA the straight talking boss
Malvern Rider – Binners flamboyant city living best friend
Dez B – Creme Brulee style lead singer with a penchant for satin effect bodysuits

Act 1 Scene 1:

Set in the village of Bottomswood voted most up and coming in 2006 by Country Magazine. Binners lives in a 1930’s semi with shared driveway, Mr Greenwood/arsehole nextdoor.

Binners moving boxes of shit from his garage (his missus has been ragging him to shift for the last ten years) into the boot of his pristine, low mileage, white, remapped, 330D estate. He always wanted the M Coupe version but arrrrr well, it’s fast for a diesel, fastest production diesel engine for it’s capacity, shows them boy racer neon lit Corsa’s up at the lights!

The bottom of one of the boxes drops out onto the shared driveway, a hardback copy of Das Kapital and a moth eaten anarchist emblazoned bandana.

The visceral rush of nostalgia almost overcoming Binners, with flashbacks of thick acrid smoke, raining petrol bombs, running, baton charges, interrupted by the dulcet tones of the wife emanating from the bathroom window.

Wife: oiiii the toilets blocked again. When you’ve finished getting rid of that old shit, you better get this sorted before Boon Nam and Arabella come round. The borders need weeding as well, have you been sat on your arse all week watching Sky Sports again?

Binners: (mumbles under his breath) for **** sake those two pretentious wannabes, well Boon Nam is pretty tidy like……. Yes love I’ll get a few bottles of that flavoured gin and hickory chips for the BBQ.

Scene 2: The Tip

TBC……..

Sapphire & Steel has a ending still to be resolved. Could continue it recast as the characters are human projections of elemental forces so could easily appear in a different guise.

But again, it’s old and obscure to most people so any reference to what was would confuse people. Though could do it starting out introducing them afresh but with a mystery to most as to why they were stuck in a road cafe in space (though maybe chuck in a cross over with Doctor Who which made a TARDIS out of such a place!).

The Flumps

Ref 3-2-1

Even as a kid, I always wondered about this – whether the clues were deliberately obtuse so that they could manipulate the outcome.

Week 1: “well, it says use your mettle, and what else is made out of metal? That’s right, it’s the car!”

Week 2: “well, it says use your mettle, and what else is made out of metal? That’s right, it’s Dusty Bin!”

I suspected there was a bit of Hobson’s Choice going on. Even when the clues led you somewhere logical, it seemed fairly arbitrary as to whether ol’ Ted would tell them that’s what the prize was or that they’d just ruled out that prize. Didn’t help that he looked like someone you wouldn’t buy a used car from.

Still none the wiser. Absolute mystery of a telly programme.
Also don’t touch Bullseye – the 80’s outfits, Argos catalogue prize board, and speedboats look sooo much more authentic in cataract-square-o-vision.

Just because I want to post it here

Out Of Town with Jack Hargreaves and his pipe..
Changes – dystopian kids drama..
Rock goes to college ..
Late ’70s roolz!

Torchy The Battery Boy – I loved it as a 6 year old in 1960!

Just because I want to post it here

They remade Monkey not so long back.

and there’s been loads of adaptations of Journey to the West which Monkey is based on.

+1 for Monkey

I was South Korea last year, and in a slightly jet lagged/drunk state sat through about an hour of the modern remake of Monkey before I twigged what is was. Bloody weird, I can tell you.

Anyway:

The Machine Gunners
Sport Billy
Blue Thunder
1960’s Batman.

Oh Oh Men Behaving Badly but brought up to date.

Treasure Hunt.

I used to quite enjoy watching Anneka Rice’s bottom. And then we had the lovely Annabel Croft.

Drop the dead donkey.

A news room trying to make sense of current affairs is the only way to properly satirise todays world that I can see. The reporter who faked the news would be redundant though

Well they don’t make them like this anymore that’s for sure:

Highlander would be on my list too.

Green Wing.

Bring back the original cast, as they are now, after all the issues with the NHS, the tired haggard and disillusioned mindset..

That’d be fabulous..

Really? It’s never been a better time for sci-fi.

Maybe if you’re prepared to pay for Prime and Netflix, which I’m not.
Shows I’d love to bring back:
Firefly
Dollhouse
Pushing Daisies
Dead Like Me
Sapphire & Steel could be interesting, with good writers – certainly modern production standards could make it look really good.

The answer is always The Trap Door, but done proper – no CGI.

Let’s get a petition going!