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  • What happens when my parents need care?
  • Premier Icon breninbeener
    Free Member

    Im mid 50s and my parents are in their 80s. Despite being in good spirits they are sadly becoming increasingly frail.
    They live in a large old property with their two best friends, another married couple.
    Whilst i have never understood this house share, the house is equally ownwd by all 4 of them.
    Mum has bone marrow cancer and a pretty nasty brittle/ceumbling bone condition. At the moment they are independant and both drive and if it wasnt lockdown or shielding would shop etc.
    What happens when one ofe my parents gets ill and needs some more care than a spouse or their housemates can provide?
    We live in Wales, and im mot sure what happens if th3 local authority have to provide some visiting care or perhaps something residential? How is this funded? Can they lose their home, or indeed all their homes?
    They dont have any savings and i work shifts amd already maxed out paying for yr 5 and 6 of my daughters medical degree. Is there an expectation that i have to pay for their care?
    Thisbis all hypothetical at the moment butbit feels like a very real and realistic concern for the near future.
    Thanks
    Ian

    Premier Icon thegeneralist
    Free Member

    https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/care/paying-for-care/paying-for-a-care-home/do-i-have-to-sell-my-home-to-pay-for-care/

    some info on there.

    The key thing you need to find out is whether the council can force you to sell the house or whether they just declare an interest in it for when it is sold later. This is obviously critical for your parents if one of their co-habitees goes into care.

    Is daughter taking out the graduate tax (student loan)?

    Premier Icon breninbeener
    Free Member

    Thanks for the link.
    Daughter has a 1yr BSc then her final year of Med School. There is inly loan for 4 yrs of undergrad study, so the extra BSc and yr5 living expenses are funded by me. We naively thought the government would want doctors….but they dont even allow you a student loan for those years. Lord only knows what happens to kids without parental financial support.

    Premier Icon thegeneralist
    Free Member

    Key thing is that the authority can’t sell the house if your spouse is there
    or any relatives over 60
    Or kids under 18 😉

    Premier Icon breninbeener
    Free Member

    So the potential exists if their friends need residential care, that the house could require selling to meet their financial liability?

    Im hoping in that case the deferred payment plan may apply….

    Premier Icon toby1
    Full Member

    They sound kind of cool and like old school hippies by the way (all living together like that, it’s hard enough with 1 other person, but with 3, fair play to them!)

    Premier Icon globalti
    Free Member

    We’ve a fair bit of experience of all this having gone through it with MIL and neighbours. Two things: watch for signs of malnutrition, this is when you will know they aren’t managing their lives any longer. The second; it takes a while to find out what buttons to press but when you do, Social Services and the NHS do perform well.

    Premier Icon the-muffin-man
    Full Member

    I’m no expert but I guess the complex ownership of the house could work in your favour in this case.

    From the little I know from friends they can’t force you to pay anything although they will put great pressure on and guilt trip you.

    Premier Icon poolman
    Free Member

    Your parents may qualify for a care allowance, 55 GBP pw is the rate for day needs. 80 I think if 24hr care needed. Just fill in the forms for each parent. Maybe wales is different I did it in England.

    For care homes you just have to fund the income gap, ie, care cost less their income. Once savings drop to 24k the state start paying.

    Go and have a look at care homes, I just walked in. Pre covid of course, we have decided unless it is really necessary we are keeping my mother at home but with care visits.

    Good of you to plan tho, most don’t. Good luck.

    Premier Icon tonyg2003
    Full Member

    Pretty much what Poolman says really. If they don’t want to / can’t sell the jointly owned house and can’t self fund they will get council care either in their homes or be placed in the council care home of the council’s choosing. Most council care homes were really grim when my mum went into care and we ended up getting her in a private place.

    Premier Icon mattsccm
    Free Member

    From my wife who is an adult social worker and DoLs team manager. If all the oldies have a share in the ownership, the house can’t be touched as long as one person lives there. More involved when house sold but ask your adult social care team or even check the website.

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