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  • Universal Truths?!
  • jekkyl
    Full Member

    Can be lighthearted or serious and philisophical.

    Give us your universal truths or argue the validity of other’s suggestions.
    Here’s 2 to get started.

    .Everything is in decay
    .Time never stops.

    northernmatt
    Full Member

    You can’t lick your own elbow

    scruffythefirst
    Free Member

    Youth is wasted on the young.

    tazzymtb
    Full Member

    Love should happen naturally like a fart, if you have to force it you’ll end up in the s**t

    montgomery
    Full Member

    From a recent episode of The Boys:

    With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right c**”.

    tazzymtb
    Full Member

    The Universal truths that all religions are based on:
    We are right
    everyone else is wrong
    We are better than you

    greatbeardedone
    Free Member

    “Life is wasted on the living”. (Slartibartfast)

    jekkyl
    Full Member

    A big dashed line on the OS map does not necessarily indicate a cycleable trail.

    SSS
    Free Member

    No good deed ever goes unpunished

    Gunz
    Full Member

    Never drink in a flat roof pub.

    theotherjonv
    Full Member

    Life is often unfair. Sometimes you can just be happier by accepting it rather than trying to change it – knowing which injustices are worth your efforts is the key to survival.

    Klunk
    Free Member

    5 laws of stupidity

    1. Always and inevitably each of us underestimates the number of stupid individuals in circulation.

    2. The probability that a given person is stupid is independent of any other characteristic possessed by that person.

    3. A person is stupid if they cause damage to another person or group of people without experiencing personal gain, or even worse causing damage to themselves in the process.

    4. Non-stupid people always underestimate the harmful potential of stupid people; they constantly forget that at any time anywhere, and in any circumstance, dealing with or associating themselves with stupid individuals invariably constitutes a costly error.

    5. A stupid person is the most dangerous type of person there is.

    BillOddie
    Full Member

    Never trust a Tory.

    woody2000
    Full Member

    “Man who go to bed with itchy bum, wake up with brown fingers.”

    theotherjonv
    Full Member

    (slightly more light hearted)

    Never

    Fight

    A Man

    With a Perm

    onehundredthidiot
    Full Member

    Above these clouds the sun shines.

    andrewh
    Free Member

    “Life is wasted on the living”. (Slartibartfast)

    Actually, that was Zaphood Beeblebrox the fourth, Zaphod Beeblebrox’s great grandfather (there was a mix up with a contraceptive and a time machine)

    maccruiskeen
    Full Member

    Any cafe called ‘The Coffee Pot’ will be run by someone who has very little interest in selling coffee.

    martinhutch
    Full Member

    Rich blokes always want to get married.

    teethgrinder
    Full Member

    northernmatt
    Free Member
    You can’t lick your own elbow

    You need to be specific. If you have 1 or 2 fully complete elbows, one can lick their own elbow-pit. However one cannot lick their own elbow-cap.

    Klunk
    Free Member

    Rich blokes always want to get married

    It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

    LMFTFY 😉

    shermer75
    Free Member

    Never attribute to malice what can be better explained as stupidity

    shermer75
    Free Member

    “At fifty everyone has the face he deserves.”

    – George Orwell

    willard
    Full Member

    Bad shit happens to good people

    nickc
    Full Member

    Companies get the unions they deserve

    greatbeardedone
    Free Member

    You can’t polish a turd.

    fazzini
    Full Member

    The Sir! Keir! Starmer! thread will continue and outlive humanity, points of principle being argued over by AI ad infinitum.

    gowerboy
    Full Member

    You will never be fully satisfied that you have the best tent and won’t need to buy another.

    shermer75
    Free Member

    You will never be fully satisfied that you have the best tent and won’t need to buy another.

    Yep!

    My tents have finally outnumbered my bikes, and is only outnumbered by my backpacks and bags

    fazzini
    Full Member

    You will never be fully satisfied that you have the best tent and won’t need to buy another.

    You will never be fully satisfied that you have the best bike and won’t need to buy another. FTFY

    riklegge
    Full Member

    You will never be fully satisfied that you have the best (insert any item) and won’t need to buy another.

    LMFT

    Edit- sort of beaten to it!

    creakingdoor
    Free Member

    Eventually engaging neutral and applying the handbrake always makes the lights change.

    fazzini
    Full Member

    Damm it, beaten too it!

    Shall be uttered by all forumites at least once in their own existence having procrastinated over their initial response

    jekkyl
    Full Member

    I’ve just been informed by my work colleague smart a**e that honey doesn’t decay. So my universal truth opener is not technically correct. Will a jar of honey outlive the human race??
    Apparently because of the make up of honey it doesn’t allow bacteria to flourish, there so now you know a thing.

    supernova
    Full Member

    Nobody useful to society ever got out of a Range Rover.

    IdleJon
    Full Member

    Actually, that was Zaphood Beeblebrox the fourth, Zaphod Beeblebrox’s great grandfather (there was a mix up with a contraceptive and a time machine)

    I was that young or naive when I read HHGTTG that I asked my mother what a contraceptive was. As parent of teenagers, I can now imagine her horror, embarrassment, astonishment… And before anyone suggests it, I wasn’t 32 when I read it! 😀

    fazzini
    Full Member

    Nobody useful to society ever got out of a Range Rover.

    I beg to differ…the SAS did during a siege…no, wait, hang on…was that a film? I struggle to tell reality from fiction these days

    supernova
    Full Member

    Surely the SAS would use Land Rovers? Can’t get too comfortable, or they’ll go soft.

    scruffywelder
    Free Member

    Also:

    1 halfwit working with a sensible person will have the overall effect of one halfwit…

    2 halfwits working together will have the overall effect of one quarterwit…

    3+ halfwits working together? Run. Just run away, quite fast…

    I have witnessed this phenomenon many, many times…

    scruffywelder
    Free Member

    A favourite from Still Game:

    He who hingeth aboot geteth heehaw

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