Uncle to be – living away/got holiday booked makes me selfish?

Wow! A thread on STW where everyone agrees… We must all be going soft due to the imminent arrival of the OP’s sister’s wonder child.
I have nieces, nephews and great nieces and nephews. I did not attend the birth of any of them and I would have thought it very odd if I was invited and expected to attend.

That is an absolutely ludicrous expectation. Don’t cancel your holiday. Buy the baby a Fisher Price rattle or something. Gift lists for babies? – **** right off.

+2. if youre in the sh*t with your family over this so be it, but it really is them having unreasonable expectations. go enjoy yourself, maybe a congratulations phone call a day after the birth if youre still away and a visit when you get back.

Just adding a +1 to the unequivocal “you’re not the selfish one here” chorus.

I just remembered this thread. Is there something we’re not being told?

OP – is your name Jaime Lannister?

Baby list? Ffs

This must be a wind up.

If you want to buy a gift I can recommend some thing from socialbaby. They make books, mobiles and posters with high contrast patterns. Very young babies are absolutely captivated by them due to how their vision is processed when they are tiny.

I’ve given these as gifts many times now and had a universal ‘wow’ from everyone. People are always amazed how focussed on them their babies are.

Her request is Normal for Norfolk.

But batshit mental anywhere else.

To give somebody, anybody, the benefit of the doubt, the OP didn’t say that it was his sister that made the request, just the “family”. The pressure could be coming from his mum, which wouldn’t surprise me that much, given how crazy some mums of mums-2-be go when a baby is due…often feeling that a show of force from “the family” is needed for outward appearances as much as anything else. So let’s go easy on saying “your sister is weird” (even if I think a gift list is a bit me, me, me).

Superb, this is so weird it’s hilarious 😀

Crikey, sometimes I’m so glad I’m an only child, I can’t stand this culture of people thinking everything they do is so bloody important and everyone else must act as though it’s never happened before.

As for the Amazon gift list for a birth, **** I hate the modern world.

Let’s face it when you do hold the baby for the first time you’ll be like the rest of us “what the **** am I meant to do with this?”

Is this the OP’s sister?

Given our baby is just 5 months old I can quite happily say your sister won’t give a toss if your there or not, the last thing me and the Mrs wanted was people around when she was in labour, we quite firmly told our families that we wanted no visitors for at least a week as we wanted bonding time with our daughter. My mum wasn’t too impressed but then she’d turned in to one of those weird overbearing grannies-to-be but she just had to accept it.

Just go on your holiday and enjoy yourself, get some clothing for a 6 month old as they’ll have tons of newborn stuff or a toy and ignore the Amazon gift list as that’s just taking the piss.

you weren’t there for the birth of either of my children. This is just another in a long list of let downs from you OP.

I assume this is their first child?

Go on holiday …
– there’s a good chance the baby will be late (upto 2 weeks)
– it’s possible you won’t even be allowed to visit on the day
– they’ll be tired
– they’ll be upto their elbows in piss and sh**
– day 1 isn’t the only opportunity to visit

Human babies are so common there just isn’t any attraction in being there, if she was giving birth to a Panda or little spider monkey it would be worth turning up to.

I presume it isn’t a Panda or Spider Monkey?

It might be because you are good at catching….
(sign of spending far too long with midwives and delivery docs this week….)

Wow! A thread on STW where everyone agrees… We must all be going soft due to the imminent arrival of the OP’s sister’s wonder child

Yeah, but it’s right on form in that most people haven’t actually read the opening few posts where the OP said it was a c-section. About 1:3 posts are people saying “Pah, it’ll be late”. Not unless the surgeon has massive problems with traffic…

If you were there at the conception though…

deadlydarcy – Member
To give somebody, anybody, the benefit of the doubt,

Where on list is that? Before or just after the placing for “forgive and forget”?

To those having a snipe at OP’s sis, yeah, lay off having a dig at OP’s sister whom most don’t know and isn’t here to participate.

OP.
As we know, in the eyes of Men, Women can appear to be inconsistent, even incomprehensible.

Perhaps your sister “just needs” her brother, perhaps this is her first child, etc.
As well as if for no other reason, perhaps be a better brother to her now, than she may have been sister to you in the past.

Good luck to all.
🙂

The most striking thing about this is that someone is about to get a serious dose of reality. She’s obviously getting her impression of childbirth, and subsequent baby arrival, from NCT classes, Mumsnet, and baby milk adverts. She’s probably planned a CD of whale noises while giving birth, then a nice itinerary involving a roster of cooing visitors, delivering gifts (like the 3 kings) while she looks proudly on, glowing in her pristine motherhood, with her lovely, softly sleeping baby by her side.

Well Is she about to get a rude awakening! As all that flies right out of the window from minute one.

I’d go and witness it. It’ll be absolutely ****ing hilarious 😆

Wow, loads of replies and they all seem to agree, that’s gotta be a first! Too many good/funny comments to reply to them all 😀

Thanks all, makes me feel much better about the whole thing and I’m looking forward to my holiday. However this does sum it up:

Seems odd to me and, although it seems odd to most/all folk on this thread, it seems like your family believe you should be there so it doesn’t matter what we think and its going to take some serious diplomacy to come out of this not looking like a sh$t in your families eyes…good luck with that!

In fairness to my sister (given she is probably hormonal/excited/whatever), my mother is equally (or perhaps more) to blame for starting this, and will most likely be the one that drags it on until the babies 1st Birthday (which I shall have no excuse not to attend as I’ll have had 12 months notice!).

I’m a second child so the thrill had worn off, I just count myself lucky my mum could be bothered to turn up never mind anyone else

I’ve seen my 3 year old niece once, I live on the other side of the world and my brother lives in Essex so not top of my list. Life is life, enjoy yours. Doubt they will remember much from pre 10 when it really matters so plenty of time

don’t forget to make an amazon gift wish list for things for your holiday and forward it to them all.

I’ve been present at two births, my own kids, and if someone wanted me to suffer their event with them I’d quickly book a holiday myself.

Weird.

Absolutely not normal

Very odd

Yep just plain weird

etc

We have a consensus!

Err. Nope.

Have 3 and had no expectations of uncles / aunties being anywhere near us at the time.

In fact, allowing a week for just ‘the family’ (Mum Dad and other siblings) makes a lot of sense to me before the bun fight begins. We didn’t tell them on the third (home birth) till the next day.

a bit strange for them to expect you to be there at the birth. tell them you’ve got the holiday booked and you cant cancel it and for them to accuse you of being selfish is massively unfair.
also for her to send you a list of things she wants for the baby is unfair too seeing as she has little contact with you…if anyone is being selfish its your sister OP.
i’ve got 8 nephews and 10 nieces, my wife has 11 nephews and 9 nieces…and we’ve never been expected to be at the births of any of them.

Gunz – Member

I’ve been present at two births, my own kids

You were grown in a petri dish?

I expect you can take the holiday and still come out with brownie points

In my experience new baby excitement last 3 months max, probably less. So early on everyone will be turning up with little gifts and outfits

Pop over about 5 months in with a 6 month plus baby grow and mutter about all the people only in it for the short run and you’ll be ahead. Every new born has a stack of free cloths. Its the 6 month stuff is where reality kicks and you realise you have to pay for this stuff in a shop