Sadly we lost my older brother this week.

We have had to look at burials. The issues that we face are:

None of us want him buried in a traditional graveyard – this is just not him.
He isn’t religious at all
My mother hates crematoriums – she was scarred by the sight of her mother’s coffin disappearing behind a curtain when she was a kid.

We had our hearts set on a woodland burial – he is a tree surgeon and he loves the outdoors. We visited the Natural burial site near my mum’s this afternoon and we didn’t like it – it is really small – not woodland-like at all and the graves were lined up just like a graveyard – which was what we were trying to avoid.

We have a little time as due to the manner of death there must be a post mortem, but this always a pretty decent place for this kind of knowledge. Does anyone know of anything that might suit? We want somewhere to take our kids to visit him and my mother is pretty stuck on a tree being planted – which rules out burial at sea etc…

Sorry to hear of your loss.

Just thinking, it might help if you said which part of the country you’re in

Hugely sorry for your loss OP.

I’d press on with the search for a suitable woodland site. Everything you have described point to it being the perfect place – I’m sure there are other nicer places than the one you saw?

Condolences to your family.
No idea about location but you can get some pretty amazing cardboard biodegradable coffins nowadays. My MiL had one 🙁

I know you said no crematorium…but if you had that you could have the ashes to spread wherever you like (within reason) have a little gathering etc

Thanks. My mum is based in East Kent. This was the only natural burial place within easy access.

There is another in Edenbridge, but she thinks it’s too far. I may go over and have a look.

There’s a lovely place near Guildford, but that is a fair trek obviously

Home

Clandon wood is lovely. I often ride by there. Unfortunately it is too far.

The last crematorium funeral I went to the coffin didn’t go on a conveyor belt through a curtain, they just took it away to another room IIRC. Might be worth talking to the crem to see if they can do something different for you?

Ok. Thanks. That’s good to know. There is a crematorium at Barham which is very nice and you can do tree planting ceremonies behind it.

I’ll give them a bell tomorrow and ask.

Barham is good, nice views across a wooded valley iirc. The one at Hawkinge is less so.

The last crematorium I went to the coffin didn’t go on a conveyor belt through a curtain, they just took it away to another room IIRC.

Last one I went to the coffin was placed on a plinth and during the service it was lowered into a recess like it would be in a grave burial. It was collected after the service for the cremation part when everyone had left. It was a nice way to do it, sort of like an indoor burial.

Since you have some time it would be worth visiting crematoriums nearby to see.

None of us want him buried in a traditional graveyard – this is just not him.
He isn’t religious at all

Neither am I, but there’s a lovely little church a few miles away where some of my family are buried, and I’d like to be buried there. It’s old, Cromwell trashed it on route to Ireland, and it was restored by the Victorians, it sits in the middle of a field in the village, with a wall around it, and it’s just such a peaceful place, I love it there.

Plenty of churches accept cremation chambers in church yards..

try these people http://www.naturaldeath.org.uk/index.php?page=the-natural-death-society lots of info on death etc.

sorry for your loss.RIP.

Sorry for your loss.

The last crematorium I went to the coffin didn’t go on a conveyor belt through a curtain, they just took it away to another room

Last one i went to it didn’t go anywhere. it was at the front of the room the whole time; then we walked out, with it still there.

I honestly can’t remember what happened to the coffin at my dad’s cremation 🙁 though I do know whats happening to his ashes when my mother dies 🙂

Sorry for your loss – My brother died 4 years ago so understand a little of what you are going through.

Have a chat with these guys –
poppys funerals

They did are very tasteful, simple funeral for my brother, and I’d certainly use them again.

I saw this not long ago, not sure how “green” it is

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-sh/dissolving_the_dead

Unfortunately I have been in your shoes, and especially with an unexpected death there is pressure on to make decisions you never expected to.

Which part of the crematorium scares your mother? (My missus hate coffins going through curtains or being lowered out of sight, so I get that – but she is OK with cremation as a process). If that is the case then the coffin doesn’t need to move at all. In fact, the coffin doesn’t even need to be in the room.

Different cremetotioums are different.
I lost my younger brother and we did the service about this time last year.

There were no curtains etc. Just a service with the coffin on stage, as the service drew to the end, close family approached the coffin one at a time for some contemplation if they wanted to and walked out followed by whoever else was there.

That was it.

I think a lot of crematorium do this now rather than the whole curtains thing as it’s understandably quite traumatic.

Also pro tip, get an independent florist if you want any flowers, they are less than half the price for something that’s already very expensive.

I was going to go through co-op funerals, I approached a local florist who said they go through them anyway, I can’t remember how much cheaper it was going directly but it was around 50%

We had our hearts set on a woodland burial – he is a tree surgeon and he loves the outdoors

Maybe to early to think about it, but scattering ashes in a carefully chosen area might be a nice final send off. Ashes are good fertiliser, so if he loved trees and nature.. Seems fitting.

Thanks everyone. Lots of food for thought there. My mum’s coming down tomorrow and we’ll look at the options.

Take care Scott.

My ashes are being scatter in my favourite location with my dogs,
Don’t worry, they’ve already died, I’m not a monster.

We have used this place twice, it’s up near Ipswich.
Green burial Wrabness

My Father said he would like to be buried at Wrabnesss, after attending his friend’s burial there.

Hi Scott

A tough time – hope it all goes as well as it can over the coming weeks

We buried my mum at the chiltern woodland burial site. I can really recommend it.

It’s just down near Beaconsfield