This morning I discovered I'm a coward

Home Forum Bike Forum This morning I discovered I'm a coward

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 52 total)
  • This morning I discovered I'm a coward
  • Premier Icon Yak
    Subscriber

    Clearly the larger gentleman was up for something. Tactically, er, backing out seems sensible here. You are intact and safe.

    Premier Icon BlobOnAStick
    Subscriber

    Close pass, windscreen nozzle pointed out at you and looking for a reaction? The bloke was a cockwomble looking for confrontation and he got what he was looking for.

    Don’t let him force you off the road.

    Premier Icon nedrapier
    Subscriber

    Nice choice. Bloke out looking for a fight. He tried to get one from you, but you didn’t give him one. And you didn’t get one from him. You win, I’d say. πŸ˜€

    Premier Icon connect2
    Subscriber

    A coward? – I wouldn’t say so, there’s no point in getting a hiding whilst cycling to work. I’ve had a couple of drivers get out of their cars to me but thankfully I’ve never felt truly threatened. I’d do the same as you if I thought I was in real danger

    mrblobby
    Member

    You avoided a pointless confrontation with someone who was clearly “up for it” where the outcome could have been quite bad for you. You’re safe and unharmed, your bike is ok. He’s wound up and hopefully has a nice dent to fix on the back of his motor. Sounds like you took the most sensible course of action.

    Honestly, I’d do (and have done) the same thing. I’m a 40 something professional, a wife and kids at home, I’m not going to get into a fist fight in the road with some idiot who I know nothing about and who’s just stepped out of a car in a rage looking for trouble. Just absurd. Get the hell out of there as quickly as possible.

    Premier Icon wwaswas
    Subscriber

    How’s the bike?

    oafishb
    Member

    That’s not cowardice, that’s pragmatism!

    I don’t commute anymore by bike, but I did for years and would get close passes etc. I developed a mental test which was: if there was a close pass (and I felt threatened) and say a woman or an unthreatening man was driving, I had the option of approaching the window for a confrontation. I began to ask myself: “if there was a huge skinhead (instead of a woman for example) driving, would I approach and remonstrate?”. If the answer was ‘no’ then I was being cowardly and seeking to confront someone weaker than me. If the answer was ‘yes’, then the pass or incident had been serious enough to make me fear for my life.

    I called it the cowards test and never had a subsequent confrontation!

    Your course of action was sensible.

    fanatic278
    Member

    Chances are you would have got off second best. It sounds like he had psyched himself up for a fight since he got up in the morning and you were his intended target. Sounds like you made the right decision in a split second, and have escaped with all your teeth intact.

    Is this your usual route to work? If so, you might like to attach a camera and carry a big pump in case he tries it on again.

    P-Jay
    Member

    I have to admit I had a similar realisation about 2 years ago.

    I pulled out of a junction just as another car did (hard to explain but it’s two junctions on a big sweeping bend) and pulled across the front of him – I was at fault but I’ve had it done to me a half-dozen times coming from his directions – it’s a totally forgivable sin, it’s more a bad junction that anything, but he decided to put his foot down and swerve a little towards me in a “look how hard I had to work to nearly hit you” gesture so instead of putting my hand up to it – I gave him the finger and drove off.

    5 mins later I pull up at my mates office to pick something up and it turns out he’s chased me down – two of them got out and offered me a fight if I wanted it. 10 years earlier I would have thrown myself at the closest one and to hell with the outcome, I’ve always assumed that if it all went wrong this inner rage I’ve had to control my whole life would come out at it did in my younger days, but it didn’t I shit myself and saved as much face as possible whilst backing away.

    It was only after I remembered I was middle-aged and well-spoken so the world is pretty much tailored to my needs. I dialled 101 with the reg number, the police called at the drivers address within the hour and kept the pair of them in the station for an hour or so. They called me back, told me they’d put the fear in them and wondered if I’d like them to press charges or give them a warning – a warning it was. I did, and do feel a bit of a coward afterwards though.

    Premier Icon MSP
    Subscriber

    I blame the decline of the coal mining industry.

    teasel
    Member

    How’s the bike?

    That was my first thought.

    On the coward thing – don’t do that to yourself. Don’t be tempted to fall into the emasculated feelings that can arise, either. I think it was Jimjam on this forum that alluded to the ability to keep your shit when confronted by extreme violence. If you can’t then don’t get involved.

    I’m sure given a situation of survival, you’d step up. This wasn’t one of those situations.

    5plusn8
    Member

    Imagination is always more powerful than reality. How do you think it would have gone? You smacked him like in a Clint Orang Utan movie, he went down hard, gets up apologises and goes off with his tail between his legs?
    Reality- google one punch manslaughter and realise you did the sensible thing.

    Premier Icon Daffy
    Subscriber

    You should’ve phoned the police (999) immediately.

    He overtook you, then braked sharply causing you to go into the back of him. That’s the definition of “Dangerous Driving” as defined by Sections 1 and 2 of the 1998 Road Traffic Act.

    1. Dangerous overtaking
    2. Racing, going too fast, or driving aggressively.

    Additionally, he’s potentially guilty of intimidation.

    He’s looking at a fine at minimum, but should be a conviction.

    Is there any CCTV along the route you took? This asshat needs a prison sentence. Too much of this goes on and is unreported.

    EDIT – I hope you’re okay OP? I’d just change your route a little if it’s possible.

    Premier Icon crazy-legs
    Subscriber

    Imagination is always more powerful than reality.

    This ^^.
    In your mind you take him out in a poetic blur of limbs and some Tom Cruise style action moves then go off with the nearest girl who has fallen at your feet in admiration.

    In reality you’ll get your head kicked in when he pulls a crowbar out of the door pocket and you’re still trying to unclip and balance in cleated shoes while passers-by look away or film the whole thing – and none of them will come falling at your feet afterwards.

    teasel
    Member

    and none of them will come falling at your feet afterwards.

    Unless said nutter starts whacking witnesses… πŸ™‚

    mrblobby
    Member

    Imagination is always more powerful than reality.

    Ha yes, in my mind I can always have a sensible conversation with the raging driver, point out the error of his ways, he recognises the validity of my complaint and agrees to be more considerate of cyclists in future and sets off on his way πŸ™‚

    In your mind you take him out in a poetic blur of limbs and some Tom Cruise style action moves then go off with the nearest girl who has fallen at your feet in admiration.

    Then potentially line yourself up with a charge of assault or worse. If you’ve put someone in hospital with your fists then regardless of “who started it”, you’re in trouble. Really when you play out the various scenarios there aren’t many good outcomes for anyone involved. If you spoke to the cops about their experience of these situations you’d be left in no doubt that you’d made the right choice.

    Mister P
    Member

    I always wondered what I would do if I got into an altercation with a car driver and this morning I found out. I was riding to work through Salcey forest when a car gave me a close pass combined with the windscreen washer squirt. Stupidly I reacted and gave a **** sign. The driver hit the brakes hard, harder than I could, and I went into the back of his Mercedes. The driver’s door opened and tirade of abuse came out, shortly by a gentleman larger than I. I am not proud but I got out of there as fast as I could. There’s a bridleway a couple of hundred metres further along the road and I shot down there as fast as I could. My yellow streak is wider than I thought!

    I’ve reported the incident to the police 101 line, there’s no damage to me or my bike and I only got part of his plate so there’s little they can do. I think I’ll be driving to work for a couple of weeks now.

    ichabod
    Member

    hmmm I bet a replacement Mercedes wing mirror costs a bit.. irresponsible perhaps but satisfying

    Premier Icon Drac
    Subscriber

    Sounds sensible approach to me.

    You aren’t slightly rotund and riding an E-Bike are you? If so I think we may have suspect.

    Klunk
    Member

    lover
    fighter
    dancer ?

    mjsmke
    Member

    The driver is the coward for attacking you with his car in the first place. There is a saying… The larger a mans car, the smaller his *****.

    Premier Icon molgrips
    Subscriber

    I’ve done this plenty of times before. However as I’ve got older I’ve become more cynical – last time I had an altercation (quite a few years ago though) at low speed in town I stopped and got off and was ready to square up. Driver stopped but got an earful of horn from all the drivers behind him so carried on.

    Not sure what would’ve happened…. Nowadays I just wouldn’t rise to it in the first place I think. Turn the other cheek.

    devash
    Member

    Fight or flight – protecting people since the dawn of time. πŸ˜€

    “I’d love to stop and pummel you good sir but my autonomous nervous system is compelling me to leg it in the opposite direction at great haste. Good day to you.”

    Mister P
    Member

    How do you think it would have gone?

    I have a very good idea that I’d have got a hiding. I’m 11 stone and never had a fight in my life. Not an ideal starting point for confrontation of any kind.

    I’ve borrowed a pair of cameras and will be taking an alternative route home this evening.

    Oh, and the bike is fine thanks. A bit muddy from diving down a bridleway but it was overdue a clean anyway.

    Premier Icon joemmo
    Subscriber

    No, you made the right choice. Driver sounds like an angry dick looking for an outlet for his rage and probably has form in kicking off. Report it.

    Many years ago a friend and I came upon a ‘domestic’ developing on the street with some nutjob threatening a woman. The heroic thought was to intervene but she started shouting at us to stay away and call the police. We did and it took 4 of them to subdue him, cuff him and get him in a van. Moral of story – nutters are dangerous. Avoid and survive.

    slowster
    Member

    A few thoughts:

    – On a mundane practical note, if you are wearing cycling shoes, then you are likely to be at a severe disadvantage in any fight. This is especially the case for a road shoe with a protruding cleat, but even a recessed cleat MTB shoe is likely to give poor grip if it has a sole with hard plastic lugs.

    – Pick your battles. Sometimes I have caught up with a bad driver and pointed out to them their mistake in a very low key non-confrontational way, e.g. “You were way too close mate; you need to allow more space when you overtake”. Sometimes the drivers are receptive and hopefully they will be more careful in future, other times I have wasted my breath because they refuse to accept they have done anything wrong. However, if someone is deliberately spraying you, then you know it would be a waste of time remonstrating with them.

    – If you need to let off steam/get your point over but you don’t want to get involved in a discussion with the driver, don’t swear or shout at them (I know this is hard to avoid in the heat of the moment), just call out something like “That was absolutely crap driving” – there’s just a chance it might stay in their mind and prompt them to drive a little more carefully in future, even if they would never admit their mistake.

    Premier Icon DezB
    Subscriber

    I think I’d do the same these days! Well I hope I would! Knackered knees and a shagged shoulder do not a fighter make. Quite a few confrontations in the past, including a similar irate Merc driver who was bigger than me but I proceeded to take the piss out of him (standing there in my cycling gear, including leg warmers, pphwoar!) until he threw his sunglasses down and then drove off without them πŸ˜†
    But yeah, sensible thing to do is get away!

    Rockape63
    Member

    The other thing is that the angry driver has already had an opportunity to size you up and decided he more than fancies his chances against you, so its probably more that HE is the coward and not you!

    IF, it had been me at 16st and a reasonably fit 6’4″ he might not have been so quick to get out of his car. (when I was a bit younger anyway)

    Too old for fisticuffs these days!

    Premier Icon Northwind
    Subscriber

    Fighting randoms is a terrible idea, you never know where it’ll end up- always, always best to just gtfo unless you have no choice. it’s not cowardly, it’s just sense.

    mdavids
    Member

    A guy in my office got into an altercation with a scrote whilst out for Christmas drinks, 2016.
    One punch and he fell and knocked his head and is still not fully conscious, maybe never will be again.
    Meanwhile said scrote got a year inside for GBH (or something similar) and is now out of jail and continuing with his pathetic existence as if nothing had happened.

    It’s really not worth it, a small dent in your pride for a couple of days is an infinitely better outcome than the potential alternatives.

    fooman
    Member

    OP that’s terrible.

    To give you some insight into this wingnuts mind, he believes he’s doing some kind of public service frightening cyclists off the road, in his world people agree with him, and you are in the wrong by objecting.

    You did the best thing not to confront but report, this kind of self tapper isn’t going to take a lesson from you, but might when the old bill get involved, and for what it’s worth they do – round here one particular jerkwad rigged his exhaust to backfire on a button push and went around frightening cyclists. In his case he got jail time.

    Standing up for yourself and getting physical sounds good in theory, but is ask yourself is an altercation worth potential injury or worse? He could be high, he could have a blade. Plus if you are throwing punches plod might see you are an instigator not a victim.

    Please don’t give up the cycling, say to yourself ‘I’ve risen above it’ rather than ‘I’ve been defeated’. It’s a losing battle trying to put the world right one idiot at a time. You made the smart choice.

    fossy
    Member

    You did the best thing – if they are going to slam on and jump out of the car then they aren’t up for discussion.

    I had some guy in a Golf try and run me off the road, but he wasn’t as quick through traffic – when he tied it on again, I shouted ‘I’ve got your reg’. He legged it. I then went to the main police station and reported him. Ended up my word vs his, but my complaint was then logged as intelligence. The police said the car/driver had pervious and if he ‘did’ something then this intelligence would go against him.

    Always best to back off when they are driving a couple of tonnes of car.

    PJM1974
    Member

    The OP was entirely sensible to take the path of discretion – you also did the right thing by reporting it. I daresay that the driver has previous, reporting the make, model and colour of car and a physical description of the driver may well flag a persistent Ronnie Pickering character if other people have had similar encounters.

    Having been in a couple of similar situations, it’s all too easy to dissect it to death and lament oneself for either turning and legging it, or escalating it. Fact remains, it was an unprovoked assault.

    I can’t see what else the OP could’ve done.

    Blackflag
    Member

    Being a coward is a highly subjective concept. If backing down / running away when the odds a significantly stacked against you (his size and temper, your plastic soled shoes etc) means you are a coward, then pretty much everyone is.

    Imagine the same scenario but this time he gets out of his car and you pull a gun on him?? He’d panic as the odds are now the other way and would scream like an 8yr old girl and drive off pretty sharpish. its all about the balance of power.

    Give your ego the night off. You acted like anyone else with half a brain would.

    Premier Icon a11y
    Subscriber

    Not cowardly – sensible.

    I try my hardest not to react to anything that jeapordises my safety on the bike, or indeed to any crap driving skillz if I’m in my car/van. You just don’t know what sort of nutter is piloting the other vehicle and how tooled up they might be.

    Life’s too short and no need to make it shorter.

    fanatic278
    Member

    This reminds me of the time I though I was hard. Got close passed by a car full of teenagers. The guy in the passenger seat leant out of the window and scremed something at me as they went past. Unfortunately for them, the lights turned red a few hundred metres up the road so I caught up with them. I was fuming (I very nearly fell off).

    They must have thought better of getting out the car, and just looked straight ahead like they’d done nothing. Blanked me when I tapped on the window. Eventually encourage the passenger to open his window a crack, to have a word.

    Me: “Did you think that was funny? I nearly fell of!”
    Him: grunt… shrug
    Me: “Let me show what’s funny…”

    At this point I meant to push the wing mirror outward. I just wanted it to be a slight inconvenience. But it broke off in my hand and smashed onto the road! The demeanour of the teenagers changed somewhat. I pegged it – through the red light and down the wrong way on a one-way street. I was absolutely bricking it.

    Since then, I don’t swear or anything. Mostly leave it to just a disappointed shake of the head or a frustrated waving of my arm.

    Premier Icon BigJohn
    Subscriber

    Much as it’s hard to feel OK at not standing up to a bully, confrontations rarely end well. Unless A&E or a police station is your definition of well.

    These days my default response is a loud shout of “THANK YOU”. And if challenged I follow up with “I’ll consider your advice next time”.

    Tends not to escalate the situation quite as much as “**** off you ***”

    sbob
    Member

    Cowardly would be cheesing it off and leaving your wife or child to deal with the confrontation.
    What you did was sensible. πŸ™‚

    bigyinn
    Member

    Better to be considered “a coward” (you’re not BTW) than end up being fed through a tube.

    Rockape63
    Member

    Being a coward is a highly subjective concept. If backing down / running away when the odds a significantly stacked against you (his size and temper, your plastic soled shoes etc) means you are a coward, then pretty much everyone is.

    Very true…back in my Forces days, we were taught that if we were out on a patrol and came across a larger enemy patrol, to get the f out of there. If we came across a smaller patrol, depending on circumstances…take them on. Personally, in your circumstances, I’d find out where he lived and pop round on my bike late one night and set his car on fire! πŸ™‚

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 52 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.